We do mean that headline literally, by the way…
It’s after last week’s elimination, and as well-liked as Bree was, it seems that everyone’s relieved that Ms. Cherry has stuck around.
A celebration commences. This mostly involves drinking alcohol straight from the bottle.
For some crazy reason, Chiba is nowhere to be found. How ever could these girls find it in themselves to have fun without her? Anyway, Byata checks out early, leaving Rece to drink vodka by herself. In moments, we’re shown just how damaging drinking alone can be…
You know things are bad when you’re throwing up in bed into a bag. They couldn’t even get this girl a bowl? Apparently not, because at least one of them is too busy taking pictures…
Hey, it could be worse. Rece could have woken up with “Miss Rap Su-penis” or some such scrawled on her face in Sharpie. You know how it is when you get sick. Luckily, Rece has a friend in Nicky2States, who figuratively holds her hair…
…but not literally, ’cause, ew! There’s throw-up in that!
The next day, Chiba and Byata fight about…wait for it: the dishes. Just like a real couple! Chiba wants help cleaning the kitchen, but Byata refuses, saying she can’t because she has her period. Like it’s gym class or something! It ends as productively as all of their fights:
Such a smooth-talker! It’s no wonder Chiba can’t resist her.
Then, it’s pageant time!
The girls must show off their hidden talents and, in doing so, end up proving that some talents are hidden for a reason.
Nicky2States hula-hoops none too well.
Rece Steele dances (well!).
Ms. Cherry does a “perfect cartwheel” that looks more like a round-off to my admittedly untrained eye.
And finally, Byata kick-boxes. Rece and Byata are eventually chosen as captains. If only Ms. Cherry hadn’t landed on both feet at once!
They pick in the usual dodge-ball style, and, ho ho ho, Chiba ends up on Byata’s team.
You can tell that this thrills Byata so.
Today’s main challenge is called…
The object is to create an all-original pop song with no cursing or suggestive sexual language. The girls get two hours to write and then pop over to the studio to meet the man who made the beats they’re working with today…
Just Blaze! (I hope you read that in the same breathy voice with which it’s generally announced over his tracks, ’cause that’s how I typed it.) Blaze gives the girls scant advise beyond, “Just be a girl wit’ it.” You can see the relief on the faces of each of the girls for not having to grow penises today.
The girls choose their team names:
Suddenly, an image has popped into my head: Barbara Streisand in dookie chains. Someone! Please! Make it happen!
Recording starts. Rece takes a long time to record her verse. Chiba sings about being a nasty girl and is called out (pretty fairly, actually) for possibly breaking the challenge rules with her innuendo. Chiba sees that aggression and raises it a crotch-grab.
Meanwhile, Nicky2States can’t get the hook of her track to be as melodic as Just Blaze wants it, and so she hugs herself and ponders.
Once the tracks are done, the girls take them to the L.A. radio station 93.5 KDAY to debut them to listeners.
Double or Nothing go first with, “Ain’t What It Used To Be.” This is for their peoples who can’t stand somebody. The listener response comes back and…
It’s pretty mixed. But at least the harshest critic played with her pronunciation. That softens the blow, no?
Then Buttah delivers, “Make Ya Sweat.”
It is what Mariah Carey would call a stone-winner.
Serch and YoYo deliberate and deliver criticism: “Ain’t What It Used To Be” simply isn’t catchy enough, although it is cohesive. “Make Ya Sweat” has a sharp hook, but it sounds like the work of three individuals, not one unit. Buttah, it would seem, is curdling, but it matters not: they win and Byata is crowned Miss Popularity.
This apparently validates her years of not being popular in school. Chiba, meanwhile, thinks that Byata doesn’t deserve it. Mean girl!
Byata’s prize waiting in the Salt-N-Pepa suite is…
Popcorn and balloons!
Get it? Pop corn and things that pop for the pop music challenge? Now, if only Byata were 3-years-old, she’d really be able to enjoy this prize!
Elimination looms. Nicky2States and Rece are told to write a song about their pop. Jeez, “pop” is getting quite a few miles in this episode, isn’t it? All this episode is missing is a soda jerk.
Rece goes and is impassioned.
Nicky goes and is impassioned.
It’s a close race, as both 16′s are highly heartfelt. In the end, the judges side with Rece, who’s more of a rounded MC than Nicky. And so, Nicky, the often-outraged heart of Miss Rap Supreme, must leave us. Sadly!
“You definitely have not heard or seen the last of me!” pledges Nicky on her way out. In other words, try, just try to shut this one up. You won’t get anywhere! Not to one state, and certainly not to two.
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