Not There To Make Friends: A Backstage Pass at the Flavor of Love 3 Reunion

Because in the end, all we’re left is memories. Memories of group-dating with siblings, memories of supposedly too-high hairlines, memories of stank breaf, memories of possible herpes and pimps and star-searchin’.

Come, let’s survey all the loose ends that ran rampant backstage of the Flavor of Love 3 Reunion.

Before the Flavor of Love 3 reunion even could begin, it was over. The series was over, obviously, but even more over were some participants’ feelings about it. Or so they said. Hotlanta was over it. Myammee was over it. Ice was over it. Tik was over it. And just judging by how things panned out, Flav was over it.

Of course, if you’re at all familiar with the way human nature operates (greetings, earthlings), you know that “over it” is more often than not code for “still emotionally invested enough to air out grievances.” Case and point:

I’d never interviewed Hotlanta for this blog (I reached out a few times but heard nothing back — I had less success contacting contestants on Flavor of Love 3 than any other show I’ve covered on VH1. Perhaps post-show soreness runs so deep it affects the larynx?). This meant that when I met Hotlanta in her dressing room, we had much to talk about. Among the things she didn’t like about her portrayal on the show:

The herpes (”I’m like, come on now. We all had to go through the same procedure to be on this show.”)
The drinking (”I kept a bottle in my hand, because I knew if I hit a bitch with a bottle, that was gonna hurt ‘em. It kept me from doing anything.”)
The home situation (”Me getting evicted was a blessing…I was upset that they made me look unstable. They didn’t show me on the phone with my real-estate agent. It’s like why didn’t you show me getting approved for my house?”)
The gold-digging (”I don’t look at Flav as being rich. I look at him as a father with seven kids.”)

And, uh, yeah. Looking over the laundry list, it would seem that Hotlanta got a bum deal. And to her credit, she prefaced the conversation with “That’s TV, I knew what I was getting myself into.” Interestingly, she ended it with: “The show was a sacrifice I had to make. When you’re working three jobs to feed your family…anybody in my shoes would have kissed Flav.” Telling bookends if ever there were.

My next stop was Seezinz’s room.

She was in good spirits. Despite her clashing with many of the girls in the house (most loudly, with Sinceer), she said that she wasn’t stressed out to be there amongst could-be haters. “They don’t make or break me.” Seezinz was most excited to show me her “gift” for Sinceer.

May all of us be so fortunate as to receive the gift of good TV.

Unless, of course, when that good TV ends up implying that you may be answering to a pimp. Then you’re not fortunate, you’re Myammee. The woman who’s arguably the sexiest to appear on any season of Flavor of Love was still smarting over the phone-call incident when I stopped by the dressing room she shared with Luscious D. She was still able to see a silver lining: “Karma was a bitch for all of them that lasted after me. They all got totally embarrassed, so I’m happy the way I left.”

As she talked, I noticed that she had two tissues above her breasts, between her skin and the strings that tied around her neck on her top. Why, I wondered? “Since my boobs are real, they real heavy, and this little string here is all that’s holding them up, and it’s killing me. This one right here’s already bruised.” I can’t even tell you the wealth of knowledge I’ve gained backstage at these reunions. WEALTH.

And speaking of boobs, Luscious D had a thing or two to say about them. I asked if she was excited to see anyone and she mentioned Sinceer. “You’re excited to see Sinceer?” I thought I was the only one! “I’m excited to see her new rack,” Luscious D explained. “When I got to the house, first thing she started on was, ‘Your fake boobs this, your fake boobs that. I can buy some, too.’ Bitch, you hatin’? You must sincerely like my style because you just bit off what I had.” Myammee chimed in: “They probably went through my stuff and tried on my bras, and now they got boobs. It’s nice to inspire people’s lives.”

Indeed, and for bringing this up, I am forever indebted to Luscious D. Seriously: she gave me the perfect question to ask Sinceer.

New boobs, huh? Indeed, they were. I asked her how she could rationalize giving the new girls grief about implants and then turning around and scooping up a set for herself. “Yeah, but it’s different: they have saline, I got silicone,” she said practically cackling. “That’s why I call theirs water balloons. Mine’s a stress ball. There’s a difference.”

Aw, Sinceer, she’s all right! And, really: she is. When I reached out to Sinceer via email for a blog interview, she wrote back refusing one (”To be honest, I don’t care to do the blog because nothing but a bunch of haters go on there and talk s***… nothing against you… I just don’t cater to the haters,” read part of her email). Hey, at least she got back to me, though — so many don’t even bother. And, since it’s much harder to say no to someone in front of you than it is in email, Sinceer was gracious enough to answer enough of my questions to provide the material for a full-length interview, which you can read here.

Honestly, I found her pleasant to speak with. She owns up to much of the negativity she put forth, and she’s otherwise self-aware enough to be somewhat endearing (of her new ‘do, she said, “I look like a lion!”). She laughs about herself and the show a lot more than I ever would have expected. Do I think she got a raw deal? No, not really. She was angry and scheming and that reflected in her portrayal. Do I think she gave herself a raw deal? Yeah, something like that. The Sinceer I spoke with was sharp and funny, which the show gave little indication of. Come back to me and ask me my impression of her after we’ve competed for a man on reality TV, and I bet my story would be different, though. Like anything, it’s all about context.

I then spoke to Black (most of the results of which ended up here). There’s not a hell of a lot more to add, except that Black let me take a picture of her with her rollers in…

…thus winning my undying respect. Major props to Black for not taking herself too seriously to get in the way of my quest for more “backstagey” pictures.

I stopped by Sommore’s dressing room, but I don’t have a picture to show for it, as she was getting her makeup done (and, let’s face it: all the sense of humor in the world wouldn’t convince a woman to allow me to take a picture of her without her face — believe me, I know from experience). We did chat briefly about the show. I asked if she really thought that this would be the last season of Flavor of Love, and she said no way. “I don’t think one woman can handle Flav. I think that Flav can have an entourage of women and they can be of all nationalities, all walks of life. What woman can hold him? He should be like Hugh Hefner. Hugh Hefner doesn’t have one woman, so why should Flav?” Good point. Why have a winner to these shows at all? Why not just set up a revolving harem that the girls would have to fight to stay in? That way the show could last forever (pleasing the fans) and uphold this group-dating scenario (pleasing the Flav). Win-win.

And speaking of groups:

This isn’t one. But it is Bee-Ex and Ice! While Ice was “ready to get it over with,” Bee-Ex proclaimed herself “ready to entertain.” “I wanna talk to Flav,” she said, adding to make sure I expressed the gravity with which she spoke. But really, it wasn’t that deep. Ice reiterated her frequent chant of being on the show to further her career — she considered the reunion her opportunity to grab another five minutes of fame. “I want 15,” said Bee-Ex. Heh. I pointed out that I don’t think any girl in the history of Flavor of Love has been as honest about her intentions as Ice, and Bee-Ex piped up with, “Well because I didn’t get picked, damn it, I’m here to further my career, too.” I suppose they always come around.

Bee-Ex had plenty to say about the other girls, chiefly Hotlanta (”She has a hot-pink dress that I don’t approve of. I’m cool with Hotlanta. I can tell her that. I was with her when she was getting dressed in the room and I said, ‘Ooh, girl, what else you got besides that?’”) and Thing 2 (”Thing 2 is used to being left by a man with a lot of kids, so if Flav breaks up with her today, it wouldn’t be new to her. If he don’t break up with her today, it’s gonna be on MediaTakeout next week. Either way, she’s a wrap.”). I can’t really vouch for the former (I’m no dress expert), but as for the latter, Bee-Ex was undeniably dead-on.

I talked to Tik briefly…

…she was, unsurprisingly, ready to get the reunion done with. Mostly, I was just mesmerized by her lashes.

Look at how big they are! I think they had their own pulse.

If you’ve read any of my Rock of Love reunion coverage (Rock 1 here and Rock 2 here), hopefully by now it’s struck you how that scene differed from the one I’m now describing. Reality-show baggage is as inevitable as the cameras and someone shouting, “I’m not here to make friends!” This we know. That said, backstage at both Rock of Love reunions has mostly seemed like a party. I get the sense that most of the girls are genuinely having a good time. Drinks are gulped, group photos are snapped, devil-horns are flashed, dogs are scooting. The merriment is palpable. It just…wasn’t like that at this reunion. I’m not even sure why — sure, there were tons of Flavor of Love 3 rivalries, but they’re another reality-show inevitability. The core Flavor of Love 3 clique seemed to include Seezinz, Prancer, Black, St. Lewis, Ice, Hotlanta and Bunz, and a lot of the girls spoke of the friends they made on the show. So it wasn’t for lack of a bond. Why so serious? Hell if I know, but backstage at this reunion felt much less like a party, and more like a chore to cross of a list. (Not for me, though — whatever the mood, witnessing this stuff first-hand is never less than fascinating from at least a cultural perspective.)

The downcast tone went for most people I talked to except…

…Bunz, who was in genuinely good spirits. “I am excited! Why not? It’s cool? It’s fun. Flav’s cool people. And then we get to hit the streets of L.A. afterward. What’s not to like?” She did have one minor complaint about the way the reunion was run: “I woulda been even better if they gave us vodka instead of wine. I need some vodka and Red Bull, something crunk. Wine is like Sunday dinner at home s***. Watch a movie and chill.” She had a point: this wasn’t exactly a refined, wine-sipping event.

As the girls lined up to take their seats on stage…

…I spoke very briefly with Prancer, who was probably as upbeat as Bunz. She asked me if her lipstick was too bright.

“Isn’t bright what you’re going for?” I asked back, moments before a female crew member told her she should indeed blot. The moral of the story? Don’t ask a dude about the brightness of your lipstick!

As the girls made their way to the stage, I made my way to Shy’s dressing room.

Shy really seemed kind of beat down over the show, and upon reflection, I’d say that she got the rawest deal out of everyone. “I had a really rough experience on the show, and it kind of overtook me,” she told me when she said that it took a lot for her to even make it to the reunion. “I didn’t build up my acting career so high to get to this point. I’ve had casting directors turn me down because of this s***. They’ll say, ‘We see you’ve gotten your B.A., but this Flavor of Love thing messed you up. We smell your breath and we know there’s nothing wrong with you, but when we send it over, they’re gonna be like, This is the breath stank.’”

I did sense Shy’s desperation to share herself with the world (”I’ll even learn to tap dance! Whatever gets me in the door? You hear me? I’m learning how to tap dance!”), and the feeling that her behavior on the show could have affected more than her career. Regarding the Shy segment of the season’s clip show, she said that she worried that if a man saw her freaking out the way she did, he might not want to get with her. I told her that anyone without a sense of humor wasn’t worth getting with, anyway. She seemed to like that.

After initially interviewing Shy, my biggest disappointment was that she didn’t really own what she did on the show. I thought she was too entertaining to be ashamed of her behavior. She put this in a slightly more settling light by explaining, “Somebody had to be crazy. I made that choice. I had been bottled up to act for so long that it exploded. I almost came when I seen all these cameras. [Makes orgasm sounds.] It was like my man was the camera. I just wanted to do whatever I could for it.”

Ultimately, Shy put a positive slant on the whole experience: “[The breath stuff] kind of makes people want to come to me more, to see if it actually stinks. So come on in to Shy’s breath! Let me kiss on you and you be the judge! ” I didn’t let her kiss on me, but I can report that I detected no odor coming from her mouth…and she didn’t have on a necklace made of mints or anything!

I made my way to the stage, and took a gazillion shots of the girls recording their intros (they were told repeatedly not to throw up gang signs, go figure). Highlights included a crew member noting to another crew member, “I never seen so many t***ies poppin’ in one place,” Prancer attempting to give Sinceer some positive energy…

…Hotlanta looking genuinely pleased to see producer/Flavor of Love co-mastermind Cris Abrego…

…and seeing this reunion staple repping for Flav instead of Bret:

Is she there for the right reasons? You be the judge!

Here’s a whole slew of on-stage shots:

The Things arrived late, so Thing 1 didn’t make it to the stage with the other girls. She finally did, cut her intro and then quickly ran backstage to see her sister, whom I’d already interviewed…

Thing 1 was in a rush backstage, so all I got out of her as I followed was that she was happy her sister won the show. When she finally got to the makeup room, where her sister was, they were so frantic and ecstatic to debrief each other on what was going down that their conversation was virtually unintelligible. People talk about the secret language of twins, but this was unlike anything I’d heard before — it more resembled the secret language of insects, all high-pitched, choppy and rhythmic. These girls are inherently entertaining and, to use their description of the monikers Flav saddled them with, they’re real unique.

The taping went off without a hitch, bouts of bickering aside. What went down is much like what you watched, so I’ll spare you the details for once. The whole thing taped in less than four hours, which made it the quickest reunion taping I’ve ever witnessed. Honestly, even with the babymama-and-Karma surprise, it was all a bit anticlimactic. I guess that comes from the fact that the show was done, and everyone knew it was done. No fork necessary.

I was able to go backstage after the show to speak with some of the girls on their impressions of what went down.

Since Thing 1 and Thing 2 have that special way of weaving in and out of each others’ thoughts, it makes sense to transcribe verbatim what they had to say about Flav’s proposal to Liz:

Thing 2: Crazy-like!
Thing 1: It was a shocker.
Thing 2: I’m not upset, because Flav and I did talk about it. But the way he went about it…
Thing 1: You shoulda been prepared for it.
Thing 2: I shoulda been more prepared for what was going on. But on my behalf, I acted classy, like a lady. I didn’t freak out. But why did it have to be me to be the first one on a reunion that he broke up with? But it’s OK. There’s no bad blood.

All’s well that ends weird, I suppose.

I mentioned Flav’s surprise at her dropping in the fact he’d taken her out to Benihana (which, like Flav and Thing 2, I loooove), and she said, “I put that out there on purpose! He was like, ‘Why?’ Because. It’s getting brought up. Don’t front. He didn’t want his baby mama to know.” Frankly, she didn’t seem at all fazed by the final plot point of Flavor of Love. “I kinda knew what was going to happen when we left the show. He has his thing and I have my life, but I didn’t know he was going to air it now. Now I’m on TV looking stupid.”

Shy also felt duped again, about the breath thing. I really hope that one day she can live it down, or at least use the breath as bait to meet new and interesting people.

I took a shot of Black, sans-curlers (just for the sake of balance)…

…and one of Prancer and Seezinz (neither of whom were particularly impressed by the reunion’s final act)…

…and I thought that might be it for the night. At that point, I was supposed to talk to Flav, but I wasn’t sure it was going to actually happen (obviously, it did). As I waited out by his trailer for him to come out, get his family settled and make his way inside, I saw his mother waiting as well. I love her and the off-kilter vibe she always brings to the show — she’s always a good sport, while seeming totally detached from the lunacy that goes on around her. In short, she is the picture of being “over it.” How fitting that I’d conclude the night by talking to her.

I introduced myself and asked her what she thought of the end of the show. That same old over-it-ness pervaded her sentiment. “Everyone has their own concept, so I’ll have to go along with what he’s doing. He thinks one way, and I think the other. You never know what will happen when the doors open up again to explore other avenues. It’ll work out. VH1 might call him back to do something else. It doesn’t have to be exactly a dating show. It’s good for him to explore other avenues.” I prodded a little and she explained why she was so ultimately invested in Flavor of Love, despite being not much of a TV watcher (”I am a radio listener,” she explained). “I mostly appreciate this show because it opened doors for him. That’s why I was on – to help get him back on track. It helped him out tremendously.”

I found this really humanizing. Touching, even. Hearing a mother break it down and explain so simply why none of this was in vain for that moment had more power than any of the criticism or negativity that has surrounded the show. With my temporarily blown, I resumed my wait to speak with Flav with but one word in my mind. Like a mantra, over and over: “Wooooooow!”