Yesterday news broke that American Idol runner-up Clay Aiken served as a sperm donor for friend and music producer Jaymes Foster. Foster, who is due in August, is the sister of David Foster, music producer and longtime friend of Aiken. We’re sure Aiken’s going to be a great dad to the little one, and able to impart tons of helpful advice that he’s picked up along the way. We’ve compiled a bit of the fatherly wisdom Aiken will surely pass on to the littlest Claymate.
Pancake, It’s Not What’s For Breakfast: Male or female, gay or straight — why limit yourself in the amount of makeup you wear out of the house? You always want to look coordinated, so why not have your face match your hair.
Feathered, Highlighted and Banged: The only thing that gets as much attention as a good haircut…is a bad one.
Creeping People Out: Sure, Clay’s probably a totally nice guy, but his songs are downright terrifying. A few lines from Clay’s hit “Invisible” will undoubtedly get the littlest Aiken whatever they want on the playground.
How To Appeal to Massive Amounts of Rabidly Dedicated 14-Year-Old Girls: Actually, we have no idea how he does this.