Think you’re gonna get to munch on some popcorn and watch Madonna get nailed by A-rod (and A’s rod)? Think again. The rumored Madonna-Alex Rodriguez sex tape is bogus; allow us to break down why.
1. Madonna’s already boned on camera – or simulated it to some extent – numerous times since 1984. She’s not gonna go and do that again.
2. But if she were, she’d do it in the Kaballah Center, dudes. What’s kinky about doing the nasty the regular way on some guy’s couch?
3. There’s no way A-Rod would do it with someone who has better arm muscles than he does.
4. The tape reportedly shows the pair going for some oral action – supposedly with Madge doing the dirty work. Um, yeah right. I think we all knows who wears the pants in that “friendship,” and who would be the one taking them off.
5. Madonna is reportedly in the middle of a serious meltdown, threatening to walk out on her planned tour. She’s also been diagnosed as anemic and is suffering from a knee energy. She’s not knocking boots in her frail condition!