The title of this show is a total given.
I mean, who wouldn’t want to work for Diddy? Seems like it’d be a walk in the park!
Of course, I kid. It’s clearly no walk in the park. It’s more like a crawl through thorny bushes with bear traps clamped to your elbows and a Blackberry clamped to your ear, while being accompanied by jugglers you’re auditioning and a piece of Junior’s cheesecake that you’re balancing on your head.
We see Diddy talking about the task at hand. He’s a ringmaster, a showman, an entertainer. But make no mistake: he is not a clown. We’ll cover that in a few. Also something that he isn’t: human, per his words. Nice, should be really easy to reason with, then. We hear that the “Bad Boy empire is coming to take over your life,” accompanied by this image…
Even though we’re presented with many instances highlighting Diddy’s capacity for rage, the above image is the most ominous. It’s taking over your life. Your life! Consider your body snatched.
We see images of assistants passed.
“Don’t question him,” says Lisa who, apparently, takes the same attitude toward headwear.
This guy talks about the hell he caught when he was without Heinz 57. Sadly the life has been beaten out of this one: now you can never be sure if there’s a bottle in his pocket, or if he’s just happy to see you.
Diddy says that he’s not the easiest to work for, which is shocking so far given the information we’ve been presented. But he is, he adds, the best to work for. “After you leave me, you will be CEO material.” I suppose it just depends on how you apply yourself? Various assistants espouse how life-altering the job is. Indeed: you will, at the very least, end up talking about it on television. That’s a change, right?
The 13 prospective assistants who’ll compete to carry Diddy’s ketchup file into the Bad Boy building.
It seems kind of like Saw. And then, we see a series of surveillance-cam shots…
…and it seems really like Saw. Get the torture motif in there early, that’s what I say!
We’re introduced to three people who will help figure out who’s most fit to carry Diddy’s ketchup.
They are to job applicants what Frontline is to flea and tick control. That’s my theory on why they’re referred to in that manner, anyway. Here’s a brief breakdown of their credentials (and, in Capricorn’s case, awesome, awesome names)…
This group interviews the 13.
Mike erroneously chews gum as he speaks with the flea and tick controllers. They douse him with DDT for being so foolish.
Andrew refers to himself as “the future dragon of hip-hop.” This is his way of saying, “I’m blowing hot air.” I love that his boast comes built-in with self-critique! His efficiency is so underrated.
Kendra, who is as full of life as a Jigsaw victim, says that her name stands for “Knowledgeable Enthusiastic Noble Driven Reliable Achiever.” She probably learned that in fourth grade when she spelled her name down the side of the page and wrote a poem about in, like this:
Knowledgeable
Enthusiastic
Noble
Driven
Reliable
Achiever
Some things stick with you, you know?
“I’m a child of god and resident of this universe,” reports Deon, which is helpful because there are times that you’ll wonder if he left his passport on another planet. Spacey, you know?
Laverne is a transsexual. Named Laverne! Laverne! That’s awesome for the same ineffable reasons that Penny Marshall’s speech pattern is awesome. It just is.
Brianna admits that her work day consists of checking blogs, going to Starbucks and planning lunch. She catches a swift smackdown from the Front Liners. Brianna, Brianna. Don’t you know that honesty will get you nowhere?
And then, there is Poprah.
She takes forever to set up a tripod for her presentation, but it’s worth it if only for one of the signs involved.
“A Big Girl w/ Big Skills” might be the best self-imposed title I’ve ever seen in my life. Also, why is she “Poprah?” I get the Oprah part, but the Pope part? Does she slang communication wafers on the side? Does she plan on anointing Diddy with oils until he has no choice but to give her the job? (You know that would give him ideas, too, like, “And why don’t I have an oil-anointer on staff?”) [Update: Poprah herself counters this point and many others via her comment on this post below, which you can read by clicking here.]
Anyway, the closest Poprah gets to ritualistic is when she throws dice at the disturbed Front Line.
Well, that ends that.
The group migrates into a room, where they are met by…
Phil asks them if they’re serious and they all say yes and then he says that the question was rhetorical. Then don’t make it so answerable, jeez! He doesn’t think any of them have the stuff to work for Diddy. He tells them, “This is not a game!” He’s so right. This is serious. This, my friends, is reality TV.
The group of 13 is to be split up into groups of two: an “Uptown” team and a “Downtown” team. However, the odd number of applicants tells us that one person is to go home. Now! Based on the interviews! Crazy. Those who make it onto the Downtown Team are: Mike, Stefanie, Laverne, Kendra, Deon and Boris.
That leaves this group:
One will go home. It comes down to Poprah and Andrew. The dice-thrower versus the dancer. Capricorn chastises them both. “The dice? At an interview? No,” she hilariously tells Poprah. “We are not clowns!” she says to Andrew. If you can’t remember that this is grave reality TV and it’s not to be laughed at, these people will clearly remind you. Repeatedly. In the end, it’s Andrew who gets the boot.
In other words: exit, the dragon.
With him gone, it’s time for the challenge:
That’s right, it’s an art. And you’re about to find out why.
The teams will each be given 50 tasks to complete in a 24-hour period. All members of each team, with the exception of the two who will remain in the office to work the dispatch, must stay together. If they get a message on the red phone…
…they have to basically drop everything and complete that request immediately. If they don’t, two tasks are struck from their score. The team with the most tasks completed at the end of the 24 hours wins. Members of the losing team face elimination.
Planning begins.
And by “planning,” I mean “order-barking” via Poprah. Her capacity for annoyance is nicely summed up by the look on Brianna’s face.
Brianna is very much an early favorite in these parts.
The tasks are accomplished. They are of varying ridiculousness.
And it is here and now that this show reveals its full potential. Diddy’s outlandish requests, which might just seem gratingly unnecessary in the real world, make for very watchable TV. At last, Diddy’s sense of entitlement has found its medium! This is a beautiful, beautiful thing.
Kendra and Stefanie work dispatch for the Downtown Team. At one point, they call the team and Deon answers. They tell him to bring back envelopes and he hems and haws about getting things done. Here is Kendra’s response.
I loooove that these people have known each other for a matter of hours and they already can’t stand each other. If they’re at each other’s throats this early, how long will it take before they start infiltrating each other’s souls? Hopefully, Poprah can perform any necessary exorcism.
Drop everything! Red phone! Red phone!
Each team gets the same directive for, what we can assume are, different cars. During dispatch, Poprah is sort of namby-pamby with the assignment. She doesn’t understand the gravity of the red phone, which annoys the pants off Brianna.
There is an altercation.
Poprah interviews: “Lord, please don’t let me out this seat! ‘Cause I’m about to whip this girl’s ass on live damn TV.” Uh, this isn’t live damn TV. It’s just damn TV. Anyway, this argument, which is more about Poprah’s pervasive oppressiveness than anything tangible, devolves into her calling Brianna, “ignorant and ghetto.” She probably understands the difference between live and recorded TV, though, you know? Ignorance is so relative.
The night wears on. There are tasks within tasks.
Can Do’s bleary eyes reflect the general attitude of the groups as morning rolls around.
In reference to this, we see footage of Diddy telling a charming story.
“One time somebody came into my office and they were like ‘I’m tired.’ And I said to them, ‘Well, what rhymes with tired?’ Heh heh.” It’s cute ’cause it rhymes. We can only hope that the “somebody” in question countered with, “What rhymes with ‘biological necessity?’”
Red phone! Red phone!
And guess what?
Mannequin butt.
The Downtown Team, however, isn’t so swift to this new task. With Deon manning the phone, they miss the message entirely.
Deon’s head was in space, but that doesn’t make him any less of a citizen of this universe, OK?
Then, a slight regime change on the Uptown Team. Georgette’s feet are hurting, so she asks if she can play dispatch for a while. Poprah reluctantly gives up her post.
Poprah is not amused.
More scrambling and bickering ensues during the final moments of this challenge.
And then it’s all over. All the applicants convene and Capricorn reads them their scores: Downtown completed 33 tasks, but two were knocked off because they missed the second red-phone challenge. Uptown completed 31 tasks. A tie! The tie-breaker is to check each team’s receipts to make sure all the money they spent is accounted for. Uptown comes up short, which means Downtown wins!
Kendra is amused!
And what’s even better, for winning, the Downtown Team gets to keep watches that they were made to pick up.
The Uptown Team will get to vote on which one of their team members they want to leave. Yay? But the fun doesn’t stop there! Norma tells the group that they’re going to relax Bad Boy-style. Again, more amusement from Kendra.
It must be fun to be her.
They retire to their seriously insane pad.
Reality-show revelry ensues.
The next morning, Poprah wants to talk about the imminent elimination.
This basically entails her reading a speech about how great she is. The result? The show’s least surprising argument yet!
After another Sawish interlude…
…the Uptown Team meets with what’s termed the Inner Circle…
These Bad Boys (Bad Boys) and Capricorn make the final decision. They also include Phil Robinson, who we rhetorically met earlier, and…
Almost immediately an argument breaks out amongst the team over how hard it is to work with Poprah. She does not go down without a fight.
She breaks down their loss in three easy steps: Georgette can’t count (which caused them to lose the tie-breaker), Suzanne gave them poor instructions (which resulted in them ending up with not enough socks to complete one of the tasks) and Red got them lost. No one cares and she is unanimously voted out by her team. But there’s a twist! She can bring someone in the Bottom 2 with her. She chooses Georgette.
The two face the Inner Circle for a-la-la-la-la long talk. Poprah says she should stay because of her entrepreneurial experience. But if she’s such an entrepreneur, why is she looking for work on reality TV? She also badmouths Georgette, which is terrible form for someone who’s supposedly so professional. “I realize my fault is I’m using to working with people who are professionals,” she admits. Wow, that’s so big of her to admit that her fault is her awesomeness. She concludes by calling the rest of her team amateurs.
Believe it or not, Georgette’s pleading of her case is even worse (and, to her credit, Poprah admits that she weighs 250 lbs., in reference to her potential but unrealized complaints about standing — score one for honesty). And so, Georgette leaves.
The rest of the Uptown Team is like, “Grrrreat,” at the prospect of having to continue working with Poprah, but the woman herself cackles like a madwoman at the outcome.
From the looks of it, she, too, wants to play a game. MAKE YOUR CHOICE.
Related content
I Want To Work for Diddy show page
I Want To Work for Diddy videos and extras
I Want To Work For Diddy » Watch Video
| Episode | Type | Title | Date |
|---|---|---|---|
| 110 | Full Episode | Videos: Season Finale | 10/10/08 |
| 110 | Bonus Clips | Videos: Season Finale Bonus Clips | 10/06/08 |
| 110 | Show Clips | Videos: Season Finale Show Clips | 10/06/08 |
| 110 | Show Clips | Videos: The Best of Poprah Clips | 10/03/08 |
| 109 | Full Episode | Videos: Show Me the Monae | 10/03/08 |
| 109 | Bonus Clips | Videos: Episode 9 Bonus Clips | 9/29/08 |
| 109 | Show Clips | Videos: Show Me the Monae Show Clips | 9/29/08 |
| 108 | Full Episode | Videos: New York Hustle | 9/26/08 |
| 108 | Bonus Clips | Videos: Episode 8 Bonus Clips | 9/22/08 |
| 108 | Show Clips | Videos: New York Hustle Show Clips | 9/22/08 |
| 107 | Full Episode | Videos: One Night Only | 9/19/08 |
| 107 | Bonus Clips | Videos: Episode 7 Bonus Clips | 9/15/08 |
| 107 | Show Clips | Videos: One Night Only Show Clips | 9/15/08 |
| 106 | Full Episode | Videos: Unforgivable Hustle | 9/12/08 |
| 106 | Show Clips | Videos: Unforgivable Hustle Show Clips | 9/08/08 |
| 106 | Bonus Clips | Videos: Episode 6 Bonus Clips | 9/08/08 |
| 105 | Full Episode | Videos: Hooray for Hollywood | 9/05/08 |
| 105 | Show Clips | Videos: Hooray for Hollywood Show Clips | 9/02/08 |
| 105 | Bonus Clips | Videos: Episode 5 Bonus Clips | 9/01/08 |
| 104 | Full Episode | Videos: Diddy.com Full Episode | 8/29/08 |
| 104 | Bonus Clips | Videos: Episode 4 Bonus Clips | 8/25/08 |
| 104 | Show Clips | Videos: Diddy.com Show Clips | 8/25/08 |
| 103 | Full Episode | Videos: Go Get The Model | 8/22/08 |
| 103 | Bonus Clips | Videos: Episode 3 Bonus Clips | 8/18/08 |
| 103 | Show Clips | Videos: Go Get The Model Show Clips | 8/18/08 |
| 101 | Show Clips | Videos: Paris Sweepstakes | 8/18/08 |
| 102 | Full Episode | Videos: No Bitchassness | 8/12/08 |
| 102 | Bonus Clips | Videos: Episode 2 Bonus Clips | 8/11/08 |
| 102 | Show Clips | Videos: No Bitchassness Show Clips | 8/11/08 |
| 101 | Bonus Clips | Videos: Episode 1 Bonus Clips | 8/04/08 |
| 101 | Full Episode | Videos: Welcome to Bad Boy | 8/01/08 |
| 100 | Bonus Clips | Videos: Casting Special | 7/29/08 |
| More I Want To Work For Diddy Episodes | |||
136 responses to to I Want To Work For Diddy Recap – Episode 1 – Well, Duh
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Just when you think that reality t.v has run out of steam…producers seem to keep it going. This has to be the dumbest reality show I have seen in a VERY long time. Not to say that the rest of them are all that much better, but at least they don’t leave much to be desired. How full of your self do you have to be for other people around you to say that “these people should feel lucky to be in a room with him”? “Didddy” IS NO ONE SPECIAL, he puts his pants on one leg at a time just like everybody else, he just has had some lucky breaks in his life. I think that instead of people trying to make less fortunate people feel even more less fortunate, they should commend all the actual hard working individuals in the world. Like the single mothers and single fathers, teachers who have to deal with bad a@# kids daily, men and women who struggle to pay their bills, etc. Where is the show about them?? Shows like “I love New York”, “I love money”, and “I want to work for Diddy” are nothing more than mindless people looking for their 15 minutes of fame. What good have any of the winners of any of the above shows done for society? Other than show how ignorant and uneducated they are? NOTHING!!!! I can’t wait for the day when rappers, singers, athlets, actors and actresses switch pay checks with factory workers and teachers.
I thought it was aight but I want to see more of the contestant Deon! I found him to be fascinating and hope he gets more face time before it is all over with! I will keep watching because of him!
I swear Kevin Liles, one of Diddy’s Inner Circle, looks like Russell Simmons.
I am going to watch this again. I might learn something when it comes to what to look for in an employee when I start my business. I would not be that extreme with people but it could be something there worthwhile I could pick up on.
I could never work for Diddy. I am not giving my ENTIRE life over to anyone. I don’t mind working hard for something I really want but this is just too over-the-top for me.
I love and respect Diddy.I Think that he is a very good person.I love the fact that he is a good dad to his childern.I love the way he treat Kim oldest son.I pray that he never forget all the good Diddy has done for hem.I know God blesses thoes that love hem,And most of all have faith in hem.Kim,Please be patient,You will one day be Diddy wife.Respect the fact that he loves you and the childern enough not to marry you and then cheat on you.It takes a real man to say kim i love you but i am not ready.All i ask,For you all.Please don’t let the fame go to your head.God is watching.Money can’t buy you a ticket to heaven.Please make sure you run that buy Diddy mother.Tell diddy mother she can be humble.No one will take advantage of her.Because her son is one of the heavy hitters in this game.On judgement day.We will all be equal.Their will be no rich or poor.We all will stand before God.Diddy,If you see,Some one you love doing some one wroung,or speaking to some one wroung.Like Your mother.Speak up.You might be heald accountable for that.Rich preachers,can’t get youin heaven.But your action,faith and believe.Can get you their.Holding on by all of God words.Kim,please don’t get besides yourself either.You are in deed a very beautiful person.Stay that way.If i had 10% of what you all have.I would not ask God for nothing else.I Pray for Usher.He think that the world revolve around hem and that little baby.I am happy for Usher,But he is one person that think he is all that and a bag of chips.And Bow wow.Some one told that litte boy that he ruled the world.Jay-z he is a goog person that tries to stay away from fony people.Good job Jay-z.I love you Diddy.I didn’t mean no harm.
What happened to the days when being a Stars slave-assistant was a crappy job that hopefully leads to a better one?I mean waiting on someone hand and foot and basicly becoming a “Personal Slave†wasn’t something you would want to see every week for a hour give or take???Well I will tell you what happened…Alot of money and NO MORE Biggie Smalls pumping out platinum records every year for you is what happened!It’s called SELLING OUT PUFF DADDY-or P. Diddy-or whatever your name is this year!!Go eat a Whopper at Diddy King and wash it down with some tiquila!Shows a POOR rip off of Trump…Who you will never be!
Kim is a %%%*+!~)$~&^^#~@( I’m rooting for Kendra
diddy i can do better your picks are cookies they crumble under pressure.
Dear Diddy,
Im a big fan but whats up with the casting this time ! At least have some hott females to look at like in makin the band. The characters are so bland and you got rid of big boob hot chick. Come on diddy sex sells ! and you kept poprah on there ? wow she gives me such a headache that i dont wanna watch your show anymore! Hope the episodes get better as the show moves on. Id be happy to be a judge on there for free or hell id even pay you but there needs to be a better selection process than this ! People dont wanna see a fat cow on their screens. Step it up diddy !
DIDDY LOST HIS EDGE !
THIS IS THE WORST SHOW EVER! PLEASE CANCEL IT ALONG WITH I LOVE NY!!!! THANKS
I HAVE NEVER BEEN SOOOOO BORED IN ALL MY LIFE. SUGGESTION: CAN’T WE SHIP MANY OF THESE CEO’S TO AN ISLAND AND SEE IF THEY’D SURVIVE? nOW THAT WOULD BE A SHOW. oR HOW ABOUT THEM DOING REGULAR JOBS.. I’D TUNE IN FOR THAT. LOVED MAKING THE BAND? THE SHOW NOT THAT HE ACTUALLY EVER REALLY MADE A BAND. BUT THE SHOW WAS ENTERTAINING.
The first time I tuned into vh1, I discovered this show, ” Who wants to work for Diddy” I decided to watch it and it turned out that I really, enjoyed it!!! thanks!
sincerely betty
This message is for Sean Combs and I hope you read this.Just from the little that I Know about you, I know you have worked very hard to get where you are today. I am very interested in applying for the position, however I am a mother of 3 sons and married. I watched your show and I am not a fan of going on national television and allowing others to clown me. I just want to let you know that I have worked for a multi millionaire for several years and I was his best employee he’s ever had. However I never allowed him to disrespect me nor make me look like a clown. I kept him in check and without attitude in a nice and professional way and he always loved me for that, because he said people always kissed his ~(@@^&)~_!+#@@) and never stood up for themselves. I just want to give you a reminder that you “shit” and “bleed” just like the rest of us and when you do have a good and honest employee treat them right and they will always treat you right. I think your success is outstanding and I admire that. Keep up the great work and stop cursing at your employee’s.
What’s up Derick it is Keronnie from Goldsboro Nc.
Okay, why do people keep posted messages to Diddy on these boards asking for jobs!LOL! Are you people that &!(__`)(@+#%)*`^“ ed? You just watched a show where you saw this man’s insane entourage of %%!~_&`*)_!!%`+ istants and helpers. Do you really think he has spare time to read a message board?LOL!!! If you want to get on a reality show look for a casting call online and apply. Geez…
That transexual dude looks disgusting.
Actually, I think she’s beautiful! She looks a lot better than Kim! That’s for sure! She also has a better attitude and worked well with the team! She is a team player!
Actually, I think she looked beautiful! She looked a lot better than Kim! That’s for sure! Plus, she worked well with the group. She is a team player!
Digusting! Kelly are you gay and blind? You sure sound like it. That gay dude is atrocious.
wow ‘ had no idea ,,, this blog would go ………….lol i was so exited about the show ,,, and the thought of this new series ,,,that the first thing i did when i woke was preyed ,,,,,and said to myself i wanna be on there its gonna be an intense ride ,,,, and i can make a fruit salad,huh 101 years and all gramma’ taught me ,lol
but now its out there , wo! its really out there , let it be known then i like the show and the aspirations of how it’d be to work for a cant stop wont stop empire ………………….. and master behind the motivation lord ,,lol ………here we go
Thought Diddy was health conscious. Surpised to see that he doesn’t value sleep as being healthy. Not allowing your body to sleep is as unhealthy as smoking, not exercising and not eating right. Nothing will age you faster. Be interesting to see what he looks like in 10 years – oh but then again he has enough money for surgery.
The show is entertaining.
Surprised by the looks of the room where they make the decision to send people home. Dirty gray carpet and metal chairs. Most certainly not a plush atmosphere like you would expect from Bad Boy.
THIS SHOW IS STUPID… WHY DID THEY ELIMINATE THE PRETTY BOY AND THE GIRL? THEY WERE HOT AS HELL, THEY WANT IT TO BE WHACK I GUESS…
BULLSHIT THO, DIDDY IS GETTING TOO BIG FOR HIS OWN EGO…
CAPRICORN IS SORRY TOO, SO IS NORMA, BORING PERSONALITIES…
http://www.myspace.com/thedragonchronicles
check out the truth!
Whew!! After watching last night’s episode (I don’t mind admitting it), I finally see the ONLY value to this senseless, egomaniacal MESS is the synopsis provided on this website!! Truly, this page is funnier than the show in its entirety. Thanks for proving that one can laugh in the face of adversity!! Oh yeah, Kim is REALLY offensive, which means she will be on for many more episodes, I’m afraid…………
Rob got eliminated and I know everybody wanted poprah to go home but how could you have gone to the army but not know how to navigate your way through the forrest?
“POPRAH” or should I say “NOPE-RAH” needs a reality check so bad. I only wish I was there to give it to her. Please tell me that Diddy can see straight through her manipulative bullsh*t. She is great for the shows ratings because everyone loves watching people make a fool of themselves which she continuously does each time she opens her mouth to talk about how much of a professional business woman she is. Hello “NOPE-RAH”; Diddy professsional and McDonalds professional are two totally different things.
Ms. Ann I agree with you. Diddy is a slave owner, and his slaves aint lovin’ it they just love the publicity and the ooooos and ahhhhs they get as his employee. These workers are “garuts”(garoots) in our filipina language is people who are followers and not fit to lead that is why they dont mind running around like a chicken without a head looking insanely brainless. In my corrupted country we have city officials that practice the p. diddy effect towards there own kind of people if you choose not to do what they ask then you must be treated worthless. How does vh1 have the gull to air this kind of slave driver program who does he think he is GOD. No . He is more like a demon in disguise. His attitude STINKS.
whos left on i want to work for diddy???
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One ovary produces one egg each month, and this process starts a woman’s monthly menstrual cycle.
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In 1980, the World Health Organization (WHO) declared that smallpox had been completely wiped out.
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Peak plasma levels of icodextrin plus its metabolites (median Cpeak 2.2g/L) were observed at the end of the long dwell exchange (median Tmax = 13 hours).
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RPR (rapid plasma reagin) VDRL (venereal disease research laboratory) FTA-ABS (fluorescent treponemal antibody absorption) or MHA-TP (microhemagglutination assay for T pallidum)During the tertiary phase, the doctor may need to obtain a sample of your spinal fluid to check for infection and to measure the success of treatment.
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Hemodialysis is about as efficient as multiple-dose oral activated charcoal and has a lower risk of serious complications than charcoal hemoperfusion.
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