Brooke Knows Best Recap – Episode 6 – Rey of Sunshine

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Just what this show needs!

More man-meat!

You know what’s weird? Brooke starts this episode off by saying, “You know what’s weird? That millions of people are having sex right at this moment.” Brooke seems to be turning into Angela Chase, which cracks Ashely right up.

And then Glenn comes out (not like that, he clearly did that episodes ago) and says that his friend, Rey, needs a place to crash for three weeks. Is he straight? Yes! Is he cute? Erm…Brooke says, “He’s a certain type for certain girls.” Cut to…

…evidence of Brooke’s charity. Truth be told, Rey isn’t bad at all, if you’re into schlubs.

Or hoarders.

Ashley gets major points for not being able to control the falling of her face when Rey enters.

And also for this:

Yep. That Ashley’s pretty awesome.

With Rey comes a host of crap:

And a light saber because he’s apparently, like, 8.

He also has tattoos, which, like most tattoos, say so much about him.

The Apple tattoo is because, “Steve Jobs is, like, God to me.” And this permanent Legend of Zelda Reference

…is because he’s a die-hard gamer, which we also learn in the next scene when Brooke and Ashley come in and are immediately ordered to shush.

Rey has in the course of like 45 minutes, scattered his crap all around the couch he’ll be sleeping on. This, according to him, is his world: games, Xbox 360, Rock Band and his light saber. Between “Dude, um, sit”s, he reveals that he games for six to eight hours everyday. No wonder why he needs a place to stay! Kidding: he reveals that he works at night. Also, the way he meets people is online, I’m sure you’ll be shocked to learn!

Tyra Mail!

Hulk calls and Rey is all sassy with him on the phone. He identifies himself as, “R-3-Y…Reynaldo?” How adorable. Brooke gets on the phone and Hulk gets all snippy and bent out of shape, like, “He needs to answer your phone respectfully! He’s answering your phone like it’s a big joke!” This is serious business, according to Miss Manners over here.

The next day, Brooke and Ashley awake to this:

They giggle over it, but seriously? Seriously? Who puts their bare, apparently gaseous ass on someone’s couch like that? Or even near someone’s couch? Brooke and Ashley are amused enough to photograph this…

…and they don’t even get too bent out of shape over the exposed wiener, whose presence leads me to believe that Rey is packing. I mean, he wouldn’t dare be that free otherwise, right?

Unless he’s going for, like, G.G. Allin levels of offensiveness.

When he’s finally up, Brooke points out to Rey that it’s weird to wake up to a naked dude on your couch. “With his junk on your white blanket,” Ashley adds helpfully.

Rey explains that he’s usually up before everyone else, so he didn’t think it would be a problem. But see, to combat even the slightest chance of it becoming a problem, you keep your penis put away when you’re sleeping at the apartment of someone who isn’t actively interested in using it. You know? To be fair, Rey does apologize repeatedly. While this shows he’s not a jerk, it also shows that he clearly doesn’t get it. Exposed penis is only an honest mistake when there’s a rabid dog gnawing at your crotch.

Then Al Green comes and every time his presence is announced on this show, “Let’s Stay Together” pops into my head.

I always find myself left disappointed. The Dog’s been put up by Hulk to check out Rey. He sits down and grills everyone for a few minutes. He’s cool with Glenn being gay, which is such a relief, since I’m sure Glenn would have rearranged his lifestyle for this person he’s chatting with for five minutes. When he leaves, he reports that Rey is “kinda weird in my book,” which could make Rey a complete nonthreatening square, considering the nature of the Dog’s book, you know?

And then Rey brings some chick home with promises of a late-night dip in the hot tub…

…and then, when he can’t get the hot tub to work, proceeds to wake up Brooke…

…forces her out of bed, and then asks if this girl can squeeze her crotch into one of Brooke’s bikinis…

Brooke calls Glenn and rants on his voice mail, saying that it’s time for Rey to hit the road.

She is utterly justified.

The next day, Rey uses Brooke’s bathroom and it really doesn’t seem like a big deal (there’s, like, crumpled toilet paper sitting in there), but she freaks out and whines about there being pee all over the place.

And really: enough is enough. She calls a house meeting and says that Rey has to go.

She tells Glenn to tell Rey to get out, but Glenn won’t do it because he’s Rey’s friend and it’ll be “awkward.” Major, major points off for Glenn not being able to do the right thing. It’d be one thing if Rey were merely annoying. It’d be one thing if he merely smelled bad. But this guy is practically farting his annoyance all over the house, seemingly oblivious to how bad it smells. He’s aggressively inconsiderate and it’s not hard to point to about a dozen different ways in which this has manifested itself. And Glenn won’t do it. Boo! Boo!

Brooke talks to Tyra, I mean Hulk, and does some more complaining about her toilet, which: come on.

But she does explain the situation and Hulk tells her she has to man up since Glenn won’t. That’s just what she does.

She and Ashley tell Rey that it’s not working out. They do this with humor: Ashley says the lessons he’s learned about not being bare-assed in other people’s houses should serve him well down the line. Rey takes this with a good amount of humor, himself.

Aw, the guy’s all right, and we’re just now getting to see that! Don’t it always seem to go that you don’t know what you’ve got till it’s gone?

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  1. carli says:

    I am so confused on REALITY TV…maybe I pay to much attention to detail but when brooke is wiping up rays pee of the toilet I could not help she was wearing different nail polish in the same take…weird and so not! really reality! I rewind it three times and yes there is confirmation french manicure change to solid white polish all during the conversation with her dad while wiping pee up! she is wearing the same clothes butta come on!!! get a clue!

  2. Az says:

    Oh My God!!! There’s a time when you have to say enough is eoungh.

  3. hot boy says:

    get that `(~)+^@&$$`$+*) hole out the house cause that cool

  4. A friend says:

    i think that they did the right thing by kicking that big out. It was not his house at least be respectful and clean up after yourself

  5. michael janowiecki says:

    he was a geek but he was at least nice but u did da right thing

  6. Beau says:

    What I cant understand is why your roommate would invite such a gigantic douche to stay at that condo.
    I think that this guy needs to grow up and realize he just made a huge `&~!)$%$&@&&!!^ of himself on national television. Who really gives a crap what Glenn feels about giving the guy the boot. Its not your house dude ! Respect the fact that they gave the guy a chance… and he was about as disgusting and disrespectful as a house guest could be. And I would keep as much clothing on as possible if I looked like that. His ‘house was being renovated’? Please.. His mom probably kicked him out because she caught him pleasuring himself to Gamers Monthly or something. What a dip$#!t

  7. Robin says:

    Is there really a reason we need to know about this girls life and her roommates? Seriously, that was about the biggest waste of 30 minutes. Get off the couch people and go live your own lives. I may not live in Miami, but I sure can find something better to do than watch a show about cleaning up some nerd’s piss.

  8. R3Y GUTI3RR3Z says:

    Gigantic douche. Hahaha. Thanks guys!!
    - R

  9. Carli Endorser says:

    It seems too perfect that they have someone in Hulk Hogan’s car to film him calling his friend to go check up on the new guy.

    Brooke and her roomie have make-up on in the morning after just waking up.

    The roommate from h*ll came, acted out of control, and Brooke solved the problem all within 1 perfect little episode, perfect “reality!”

  10. ann says:

    I wasted 30 minutes watching this so called reality show,what a joke,Never again!!!

  11. tahid says:

    I don`t no how you and ashely could eat in front of a naked guy seelping and he is not hot or sexy . I would be so mad. It good that you told he about and i am happy because i wouldn`t like to watch the next expoise with him on there.And what happen in your bathroom that was mess i would let geln celan that up.

    well i will write back soon

  12. Beau says:

    Robin…. u r hilarious. As that diaper stain Perez HIlton would say….” Its good television!”
    I do feel, however, that this poor girl is surrounded by morons. She seems to be a bit to trusting. And that guy slacks? stamps? or whatever his name was…… what was she thinking. This girl needs to expand her search for a good guy ……perhaps Myrtle Beach S.C.?

  13. raven says:

    i think that guy is a loser who just lives with people til they get sick of him cuz at the end of the shoe he said he had been kicked out of other places before and that he’ll just find some where else to crash what a joke. haha

  14. Cori Q says:

    Hey, this guy is a real loser, if he works n all then why can’t he afford his own place? He needs to get off his `!()__%!#`#$@)@ rather than showing it, and get a real job! You are doing the right thing by making him leave. He should of had some respect for where he was staying. He made the living room look like a disaster area. How rude of him!

    Just wanted to also say other than your house guest, your show has really been great, I watch it every sunday and don’t miss an episode.

  15. Musicseawater says:

    This guy Rey is as big a jerk as I’ve ever seen! He seems to be a typical mama’s boy that has never been told how to act in someone else’s home. He needs a crash course in manners, cleanliness and respect. Oh, he also needs his butt kicked! Good!
    Brooke, I hope you stop being so trusting, one day you may pay for you trusting nature in ways you cannot even imagine. Stop it, it’s foolish and makes you look really stupid!

  16. Casanovae says:

    More or less that clown needs to learn how to respect women as well as his surroundings…..i truly do believe that he was naked on purpose as if my love Ash or brooke would dig his couch patatoe
    body f@#$ out of here. I would travel to Miami just to say Hi to Ash …she is so beautifully defined
    that not even Picasso can paint a better painting than that Goddess before my eyes….Ashley!!!

  17. Clayton says:

    @ Cori Q: Did you even watch the episode? The only reason he was staying with them was because his HOUSE was being renovated. So yes, he has a place. Try to be informed before commenting asininely.

    Anyway, this guy gives all gamers a bad name. Come on, it’s not difficult to clean up after yourself, nor is it hard to put pants on before you go to sleep. I may dislike how the show edited him to be some uber nerd type guy, since not all gamers are totally nerdy, but he was a really crappy houseguest, so it’s hard to defend him. >.<

  18. melissa says:

    I’m tired of you and your whole family- get off vh1. Your mom is a %$!%(__`*^_%))+`_ your a slut. your brother should be considered a murder, and your dad is 80’s trash!

  19. doo-doo says:

    come on like that dumb @*~`+__##)+(_@$_ wasn’t scripted who really acts like that

  20. McKay says:

    The episode with Rey may have resulted in entertaining television; however, he was extremely self-centered from the beginning, and you and Ashley deserve “Big Ups” for putting up with him as long as you did. It made no sense to me how Rey could be Glenn’s best friend, since they didn’t appear to spend time together during the episode. Glenn should be ashamed of himself for asking you to allow his friend to stay, and then lacked the courage to tell him that he completely overstepped his boundaries. Conversely, Brooke, you and Ashley handled the entire situation with a calm, cool disposition and did what needed to be done .
    Glenn had the audacity to ask you both to welcome Rey into your home (for a significant period of time), and yet when faced with adversity, he took the easy way out by avoiding any confrontation.
    In my opinion, you and Ashley are great roommates, who are intelligent, thoughtful, beautiful and unselfish. I think both Glenn and Rey should leave.

  21. Jayson says:

    yo if u dont like her family that much then dont watch the show, for real yo shes making money stop hating on the girl, let her do her nd u do u stay off her (@&!^!$&&(*^@`#@

  22. CJ says:

    WTF?! SERIOUSLY? Ok Brooke, if your reading this… which i hope you are, SEROIOUSLY… you should be smarter than this… your a celebrity, OBVIOUSLY this douche bag is looking for his 15 (in this case 30) minutes of fame. He realizes he will be on tv and i have friends like him so i know he probably is calling friends telling them what a douche he can be on tv. Did you not think for 1 minute that he wants to stay with your roommate because hes roommates with Hulk Hogan’s daughter?! COME ON! Either this was a show or you dont have too much faith in humanity, people just want any type of fame. Nobody is this much of a douche bag on TV without realizing they can look this “cool” to his friends on tv. You have got to be smarter than this. I mean if I were him id be like “omg im so sorry, i dont want to intrude, i understand you have a reality tv show and ill do whatever i can to make sure i dont screw with your show.” Its not hard to NOT be a douche bag. But seriously, I cant believe you held on for as long as you did with him, hes your guest in YOUR house… its not his house.

  23. smilely ghost face says:

    wtf wow brook u should of kick him out a long time ago and dont have anyregets hahahah o ya hows your dad?!?!?

  24. Nicki Sinclair says:

    It’s your place and this Rey is a mooch on the couch. You have a roommate who brought this &*&*&^&^&(&(& and when you get sick and tired of this…… I can’t even think of name your roommate doesn’t want to tell him it is not working out and wants you and the other roommate to drop the bomb and tell him it is not working out. WOW.. with a friend like that who needs an enemy. I was yelling and screaming at the tv and I wanted to tell him to go and I am neither a friend or a roommate. This is why I never wanted or had to have a roommate. I would certainly rethink who is a real friend and who is not. Ashley stood by you and was supportive and it never should have been your or Ashley’s place to ask Rey to leave. Come up with an excuse on how to tell him to leave…. how about this….. Your are a pig and I think more of myself than to have you around-GET OUT- NOW !!!!

  25. TOY says:

    OMG….EVEN THOUGH I LOOK LIKE I CAN BE YOUR AGE LOOKS ARE DECEIVING AND I HAVE A SON YOUR AGE AND ANOTHER 21 WHO ARE PASISONATE ABOUT MUSIC THEY ARE BOTH ARTIST…ANYWHO ENOUGH ABOUT THEM I SIMPLY LOVE YOU AND YOUR FAMILY..IF I EVER GET A CHANCE TO MEET YOU…GIRL YOU WILL NEVER FORGET ME IM SURE OF THAT YOU MAY NEVER COME ACROSS ANOTHER BEING LIKE TOY…ENOUGH SAID…DO THE DAMN THANG GIRL! LUVIN U FOR REAL YOU MAKE ME SHAKE MY HEAD..ITS LIKE YOUR A REPLICA OF ME WHEN I WAS YOUNGER LESS THE MONEY, FAME AND ETHNIC RACE. BUT DON’T GET IT TWISTED I GOT IT GOING ON AND SOON YOU’LL REMEMBER THE NAME. TRUST! LMAO IN A GOOD WAY. BYE SWEETIE ITS SO FUNNY CAUSE U MAY NVR READ THIS SUGAR HONEY ICE TEA….THAT SUCKS, BUT O WELL..SOMEONES READING IT

  26. Evelyn says:

    That must been a real nasty sight to with ur friend there as well!!!!!!!!! I bet she thought it was not a good sight to see.O ya how is ur mom.

  27. savannah says:

    haha ewww i would’ve kicked him in the nuts!
    then i would’ve kicked him out && bought a new couch

  28. john says:

    Yeah, so how is Ashley’s ‘falling face’ so cool and worth so many points as you put it? It’s reeeal cool how judgmental snobs really think about ANYONE who isn’t kissing their *$^*+@%%$$&@(%) 24-7. I think it is great they get exposed to a person that doesn’t act fake just to fit in to their cliquey group, like Ashley. She hated him and was going along with it all because Brooke has such a pure non-judging heart. Ashley = Fake , I think Rey sensed this and reacted like an ignorant person with disregard, to show he wasn’t impressed. Brooke was soo cool to help him out with the girl though… despite the fact it was uncalled for…