Poprah Keeps It Real – Episode 3


As she did last week, Poprah weighs in on her take on this week’s episode of I Want To Work for Diddy. Below, the show’s most divisive personality discusses tension with her partner Suzanne, the implications of Laverne’s theatrical nature and how it felt to finally win a challenge.

Oui, Oui! It’s off to Pa-ris (pronounce pa–ree). Get it? Okay, enough rhymes for one blog. What’s up guys it’s you girl, Poprah. I’m not going to bore you with another recap of the entire 3rd episode, I’m sure you will find plenty of those everywhere you look, or you could just get catch one of the many replays on Vh1 (love that, don’t you?).

But I will give you guys an insider’s perspective on what really happened, from someone you know tells it like it “T-I” is. (Where is “T.I.” by the way?). Ohh anyway, back to the show!

Okay, so as you know we’re sitting at the loft having lunch when these text on the red phones come in. As usual, you’re lucky to finish a meal without being interrupted — that’s Diddy style. Maybe I’ll lose some weight once I get this damn job, cuz God knows finishing a meal is like finding a short line at Wal-mart: unlikely. So the messages tell Boris and Laverne and then Suzanne and me to pack a toiletry bag in 5 minutes and be ready to go. People, what real woman packs even her purse in 5 minutes? OK, and then consider a person who becomes a woman each day. Come on people. Of course I’m thinking Laverne and Boris obviously don’t click. He acts likes she’s contagious, and without her medical records there’s no reason to assume anything. And I’m paired with Sarah Jessica Parker on crack: Suzanne. Now initially when I first met her I thought, Wow we’ll work well together because she comes off intelligent and obviously mature, and could pass for a grandmother if we ever needed that edge. Plus you know I like to eat, and this girl never eats, I mean almost never. So I figure this can’t be all bad. Worst case, I get free seconds on the food.

Anyway, we’re riding in the town car somewhere, divided in our pre-planned pairs and have no clue where we’re going. We keep guessing, but that’s a waste of time, cuz with Diddy it could be any damn where, even the woods (remember that?). Eventually the driver passes us an envelope with a card inside that reads: You’re going to Paris!

I’ve been there several times so I’m thinking, OK, that’s really cool, but ain’t no damn big girl clothing stores in Paris. What the hell am I supposed to wear? If worse came to worst, I guess I would just wrap a sheet around my ass and rock it with a belt or something.

So while we’re at the airport, waiting for our flight, Suzanne and I are discussing how we can use the little money they gave us for expenses to better prepare ourselves for our challenge. I suggested we buy a French –English dictionary and a converter for electric gadgets like our cell chargers. I’ve been around the world, over 13 countries, many times alone, and I know that as long as you can communicate, you can make it almost anywhere. Well we had Euros and the JFK airport store only took American dollars so we couldn’t buy anything without exchanging money, so I start looking for an exchange booth. Meanwhile, Suzanne goes into an airport bookstore and comes out with map of France. At first I thought, Great idea, that could come in handy! But then I thought, We don’t have U.S. dollars. So I say, “Suzanne, where you’d you get that?” She goes (and I quote), “In the bookstore, they’re free.” I say,“Oh cool, well I’ll grab one too, we might need it.” Without a second thought I rush into the store, knowing our flight will leave soon, and I’m looking all over the store frantically for where free stuff might be. But there’s no rack for free stuff, of course not, it’s a freaking airport, right?

I then see the same exact map Suzanne had and I pick it up and there’s a bar code on it. Well of course that means, “you must pay for this.” I put it down, run out the store to Suzanne who’s just standing there near the store entrance. I’m thinking she made a faux pas. This bitch grabs me by the arm and starts whooshing me away from the store and tells me in a low tone, “Girl, I’m from Brooklyn. That’s how we do.”

I’m like oh, helllllllllll no! This skinny bitch just stole a French map out of the JFK airport in freaking New York. We’re going to jail! Now what the hell do I do? Do I run back in the store and tell them my associate and I work for Diddy and she just robbed you, or do I just act like nothing happened. If I tell, there’s gonna be mad drama and our team my get disqualified, and I’m not getting sent home for this stupid bitch either. Oh God, please protect me from this, I prayed I just said to myself, you know what, I’m just going to tell Diddy’s people if we go up for elimination, and clear my name and let them handle it, but I am not going to jail for this bitch. It suddenly became clear to me how she kept telling everyone how she traveled the world with only $26 bucks in her pocket.

Other than that, Suzanne and I worked fairly well together. Eventually we get to Paris, and our model, Louisa, is super hot She said she would not come with us at first when Suzanne asked her. But I told her how Diddy could make her a huge superstar, and she could be like the next Adriana Lima (Victoria Secret’s hot girl), and I knew that would get her. Honey, sales is about trust and ego, and I got girlfriend excited to go, because I showed excitement and smiled a lot, and joked with her. Suzanne, was as dry as always. When she talks, I swear I see dust.

I insisted that we have our teammates email us photos of the clothes and especially the glasses they chose for the model from the Sean John collection. In return, I said that we would email them photos of the model. Of course Suzanne thought that was me taking over, but it was just using technology to communicate. They’re shopping for her, they should see what she looks like, not just her measurements. And we were counting on their choices for the clothes and eyewear, we should have input as a team. Thank God, I insisted, because we figured out the we’re gonna put this poor girl in multi-colored clothes with those green damn glasses. This chick would’ve been looking like Rainbow Brite. Even Suzanne had to admit that. I insisted we consult with the model about what she wanted to wear, and what her experience tells her would be appropriate. You must let any artist have input on a project they’re involved with, or they will rebel. I’ve managed lots of talent and I’ve been talent. Talent sometimes has great ideas and feelings. They’re not freaking robots.

We beat Laverne and Boris to the airport. Laverne is a walking circus and it’s not just because she’s transgender. I like her, but she intentionally does things to be noticed, and it’s sometimes embarrassing for anyone who’s with her. Like she dances full out in public places, and walks as if she’s always on the catwalk in the middle of fashion week. Come on now, even Tyra, knows when to turn it off. So I’m in the bathroom at the airport and I over hear these girls talking. And basically, one girl says, “Did you see that, that’s a man isn’t it?” And the other girl says, “Yes, that’s a man and I bet the other one is too, cause you can tell by her bone structure.” Who’s the other possible man? Boris? No. Suzanne? Maybe. Me? Of course not. Who’s left? The model? OMG, they thought the model was a man because she was with Laverne. Now that’s some funny s***!

Finally, we all get back to New York with the model, and we see that Brianna and Red did stick to our collective decision to put her in black. They did a great job on the dress and shoes (thanks Brianna). We did have a team discussion about taglines. Suzanne did come up with “Day to Dark” and I agreed it was definitely one of our better choices.

Yes, I did end up doing the models make up and hair. It was definitely not my choice, I would have preferred to use a professional. But I’ve done it for videos, fashion shows, etc., before. You have to have more than one skill if you wanna eat, and as you can see that’s not a problem for me, cause I can wear almost any hat, and am down for whatever position I need to play. Louisa was an easy canvas to work on — she’s gorgeous.

We won the competition! Thank God! Downtown was hating, but I’m sorry our ad looked “Sean John”; their ad looked JCPenny. Of course after they lost, Laverne was freaking out like someone died. I was not laughing at her, I don’t know how that laugh got edited in, because I really empathized with the pain she felt, like everyone was turning against her and it was out of her control. She and I really have a lot in common, we’re both so misunderstood. It was Deon who eventually went home. Beam him up Scottie, cuz he’s done here!

Till next time… that’s you’re insider’s look from you girl Poprah, You know I keep it real whether you like it or not. See ya next week! ( I hope…)

P.S. I wrote and song about the show and recorded it, it’s hot (I rap and sing you know). Check it out at http://www.myspace.com/therealpoprah. Download it please and sign up to be one of my friends, I’ll keep you updated on lots of interesting things I know! Hahaha!

Poprah @ FamousVH1Friends.com

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