I Want To Work For Diddy Brief-Cap – Episode 5 – Gall In The Family


At last, our aspiring fetchers and organizers meet the man this she was named after.

And he couldn’t be more excited to be there!


Since it’s Labor Day, and all, we’re going to take the liberty of presenting a briefer-than-usual installment of our weekly I Want To Work for Diddy episode commentary. In this episode, the prospective assistants met the two women closest to Diddy’s heart:

They had to tend to these ladies in L.A., where they were to watch Diddy recieve his star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame. Requests for Southern breakfasts and feminine hygiene products ensued. Also, Janice Combs used the phrase “over-the-top,” like a million times. Apparently, it’s something to hope for in presents that are being bought for your son and in assistants (and seriously, if Poprah isn’t over-the-top enough, perhaps Mama Combs needs a singing telegram, not an assistant).

Anyway, what also ensued was some awesomeness. In only loose order, here are all of the awesome things that happened this episode:

Laverne’s reaction when the Uptown Team claimed her as their own:

She seems not so much crestfallen as crest-nauseated. Considering the strife that’s characteristic of her new team (and the fact that she’s going over because they lost enough times to make their member number low), can you blame her?

The size of Mike’s hat

I mean, really. It’s as wide as his head is tall.

Maybe he thinks it makes him more intimidating? To mountain lions? Like the one’s he’s competing against? Maybe?

Red’s abs

Because really, who knew?

Diddy’s voicemail to Kendra

After Kendra’s phone ran out of juice, Diddy left a staunch message on her nonworking phone:

All laid out like that, it’s actually quite poetic, especially with the repetition. Look:

“I’ll Be Missing You…and Your Call” by Diddy

The last thing I want to hear right now
is an answering machine.
I don’t even know why
I’m talking to this answering machine.

It’s gorgeous, thanks in no small part to the “Peace.” Later on this subject, Capricorn informs Kendra that, “If your battery dies, it’s just like you dying.” Just so you know what value everyone places on the humanity of underlings!

Boris’ reaction to Kim Porter’s request for “girls’ things”

In sort of a prude-leading-the-prude dynamic, Kim refuses to say “tampons” and Boris refuses to acknowledge that she’s refusing to say “tampons.” Eh, you get what you say for, you know?

Boris’ holding it down

In a major upswing, Boris tore it up for his team, name-dropping for red-velvet cupcakes when Mike failed to, having a fridge installed in Kim’s room and dissuading Mike from buying a leather hoodie for Diddy as Kim’s present. (Here’s a big aside: Wasn’t kind of shocking that the assistants were made to not just pick up but think up the presents Diddy’s loved ones gave him? Apparently, it’s not the thought that counts — it’s the command that you give your servants that counts. Mind-blowing.)

For the first time all season, we saw that Boris was in it to win it…

Boris’ tearing it apart

…and maybe that was to a fault. Once it turned out that his team lost the challenge (mostly because of Kendra’s missed call and some breakfast misshap with Kim and Diddy’s kids that didn’t seem like a misshap at the time, but whatever), Boris clawed for his life with his talons dug into Kendra’s throat.

He accused her of having sexual interest in not just Mike, but Diddy himself. Screaming ensued.

In the end, they filled the Bottom 2, but it didn’t matter because no one was eliminated this episode, supposedly due to the celebratory nature of the teams’ visit to L.A. You know what that means? At least one more week of tearful strife for the Downtown Team. Their loss, our gain!

And now for one final message from Diddy:

There. You are dismissed.

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  1. TLS says:

    Boris was dead wrong for going at Kendra like that. Now, he has to go back and try to work with a team he’s completely alienated.

  2. cellis3 says:

    Kim Porter and Mrs. Combs are not celebrties so why were they acting as if they were? Kim Porter should have been taking care of her own kids since she doesn’t do anything else and if she is so concerned about them and the caretaker wasn’t taking care of them either. Mrs. Combs got on the stage and paraded around as if it was her day and the whole time she acted as if she was royalty. I know they are used to doing something for themselves, because Kim Poter is just a Baby momma with a rich boyfriend. Diddy said on one show that he is a single man.

  3. cellis3 says:

    I forgot to say that Kim Porter resembles Omarosa.

  4. CAROL says:


  5. pantherlike says:

    Poprah is not my choice off of the rip because I don’t believe she is willing to do what is necessary by all means…make her and her competitors wear a bikini to determine if she is truly thorough…While she’s talking all of that HIGH POWERED MESS…

  6. mikaela says:

    That !!^@~%&(_$(#&&`! ing slob Boris needs to get kicked out! He is so !!^@~%&(_$(#&&`! ing lazy he really needs to get sent home! Diddy needs a person who can do it all right. And as for “Poprah”, i beleive she needs to go home too. I personally believe that she might not be able to complete all tasks of Diddy’s. And she thinks that no one else knows the professional celebrity life. What if they do??? Kim, You do NOT know everything. So please, start acting rightt and people might have a change of heart about you

  7. mikaela says:

    they need to send boris’s fat sloppy _!)@$@@))$)!`~* home! He is indeed the weakling at most competitions! And as for “Poprah”, she needs to get booted off the show as well. She thinks shes the only one who knows professional celebrity business, she isnt the only one. She seriously needs to stop acting like a (!_~“~&!#^`)_~$@ and start checkin herself. what if shes not able to complete tasks physically??? thats why they need to choose thee right _!)@$@@))$)!`~* istant…

  8. Beyonce says:

    Puffy Daddys mom need to be ashamed of her old ugly self. She more )(!)%$+__#~)+!(% y than Diddy and she better hope her son stay with money. Kim ugly too! and so are them twins. The two older boys with the good hair are the best looking. Puffys momma need a reality check..she needs a 50 year old make over….all that gosh darn surgery. Kim seems nice but did she say they were all up in her face??? lol I hate puffy peice of poodle *%%+__`($&#_^!+# Only thing hot he has done was that Burger King Commercial…REAL TALK!

  9. jtt says:


  10. local girlz says:

    Boris should be working with Laverne it seems to me that she is understanding to his feelings. Laverne doesn’t shame people in front of the Executive panel, she’ll make a remark than laugh it off but not point fingers in your face like Kendra and Poprah. The other two white girls are pretty cool, calm and honest they both have a chance of winning . My favorite is Laverne, I hope she doesn’t screw-up on the BIG PRIZE, she’d be perfect.

  11. Pencil says:

    Really, Diddy needs to stop. He is not G-D!!!! He needs a reality check.

    I had put up the first comment on this blog. Check the link. He is an embarrassment to all of us Barack Obama supporters. Just check it out if you get a chance to see what a downright idiot this man that swears he is so smart really is. Got it from media takeout.

  12. change it up says:

    Didd y thinks he is somebody important. The BK commercial where he says they have to stay open late because he is Diddy makes me sick.

  13. Get Real Diddy says:

    Listen, I had the opportunity to interact with Diddy when he was still “Puffy” and attend one of his parties. Let me tell you all that junk he talks about being fearless and taking care of business is just that – junk. I’ve seen him throw a tantrum like a 2 year old because his security wasn’t walking with him. Direct whiny quote: “CHRIS you are not ESCORTING me! You are supposed to be ESCORTING ME!” …And just where was that fearlessness when he ran out and left his woman, Jennifer Lopez, to fend for herself when that shooting happened at the club a few years ago? Non-existant….ran like a little scared #(&$*#@__+$)^$~(& and left his worman alone.


  14. Pencil says:

    Get real Diddy~~ I believe that!! Jus seeing how he acted on that you-tube video. its a shame. He’s fake!! And his mom showed her true self as well on the show.

    But really, what gives him any right to treat people how he does? i have lost any respect i have for him. he’s a person, not G-D. Wow.

    please check out his ridiculous video on you tube also found on mediatakeout.com.

  15. BE REAL says:


  16. BE REAL says:

    DITTy please use some tact …it hard to believe anybody wants to work for you when you are so mean..your family needs a better role model…maybe some good old christian faith would help…what are you doing with the money the lord has given you…do you believe in god…

  17. Bigbro says:

    Listen this business is rough it’s tuff you have to be able to be thick skined if not you wont make it out there puff gonna be puff he worked hard to get his every business person you deal with is like him in some fashion as far as i know most people on the planet hate there boss it’s just once you work for puff and do it right your life changes for ever i have been in the business for years i never got a act to be successful yet most artist never make good on there craft but once you get one to work your life changes for the better yeah he make them work and do things most bosses dont ask for but at the end of the day you will be in the best postion in your life sofor all the haters out there puff is the king of what he does and we all know “Its good to be the King”…Peace out from Bigbro from Brooklyn

  18. Sophie says:

    I think Mr Combs is a very impressive person and obviously a huge success. I felt bad for him this show when he got his star on the hollywood walk of fame and introduced his mother and gestured to her like he was expecting her to hug and acknowledge him and this great accomplishment, and instead she just acts like its all about her and she is the star. It made me sad for this man and helped me to understand why he drives himself and others so hard and can be so ruthlessly cruel in his harassing overworking his people and nasty degrading comments. He and that choreography or his other show should get a psychological evaluation for they might be bipolar (I am not a shrink so that is just me wondering and not a diagnosis or accusation, just it seems to me that they are not acting normally nor failry to those around them… yeh its one thing to be driven and push those working for you but get some sleep for christ’s sake and let your people get some sleep for sleep deprivation along with unremitting stress and criticism as he heaps on people like its his right (when legally it might be considered harassment and breaking labor laws, I wonder?) leads to alcohol and drug abuse, and can even lead to psychotic and bipolar behavoir not to meant anger management and impulsiveness and I see the way this guy and his choreographer on the other show degrade people like its their right in molding them, it makes me sad and if they are one of these people that thank God and Jesus when they win awards, then read what Jesus said and realize he would never approve of treating people that way and for all the success, and winning of the world, one looses their soul he said, and I fear that is happening here.. chill mr. combs, enjoy life and let those around you take joy for most people can’t excel and stay on top if you are taking the joy out of it, and not to mention the way you degrade them, how are fans going to idolize people you degrade and in our idol culture if you belittle them, they will never achieve the kind of status you are demanding of them… let them sleep and laugh and live and then the joy will show in their music on your other show, and in your employees/assistants interactions on your show.. they are so robotic and insincere for you are making that the environment trying to turn out people like factory manufacturing line products… be human, for your humanity is what will take you to the next level and allow these people to have happy lives and not disfunctional lives like so many in your industry. Find peace, relax, you will achieve more of whats important if you put people and kindness first and money and success and fame second… and if you claim to love Jesus as I believe you do, then be real for that is what he wants of us. Love and Peace, a fan

  19. CAT says:

    Read all the comments and was surprised that there are people putting Diddy down. Having worked in public relations for 17 years doing events for celebrities from Ella Fitzgerald to JFK Jr. Diddy is exactly how a leader should be. It’s not cruel – it bluntly honest. People in the public eye have to have ))%%@%**&`()~_+ istance from individuals who are focused on making their boss look like a million bucks at all times. That is how it works in the corporate world as well as in the entertainment world. An ))%%@%**&`()~_+ istant must have the desire to do everything possible to make their boss’s life easier and better because everything in life is perception. If your boss is wise to the ways of business they’ll demand the absolute best from their employees knowing that it is a reflection on them. A good boss rewards outstanding performance always but is direct to point out poor performance. I’m an old chick but I admire the heck out of Diddy – he’s grown tremendously as a person, a leader and an entrepreneur over the last 8 years. He doesn’t have time to play with foolish people, he’s on a road to enormous success and can bring a lot of people with him if they’re of the same mind. If I was younger I would have applied myself.

  20. Avery says:

    Red’s abs made the episode.

    I haven’t seen anything that enjoyable for a split second on TV since they showed Wesley in his underwear on PR….

  21. JLo says:

    Get rid of pooprah

  22. sable says:

    I dont think any of the contenders have what it takes to work for Diddy. Personally I don’t think they are innovative and energetic enough to work in such a fast paced industry. Diddy’s @#)_(+@`*@@&++* istant should embody the qualities of an entrepreneur not act as a star struck fan who wants to impress Diddy on an intimate level. None of them live out the tasks according to long term obligation they simply dont think ahead. Planning, time management, and learining how to make yourself the best resource is key to success. They seem to have let the fact that they know DIddy through tv out weigh the fact that having him as a boss is a totally different experience. On tv he wants you to buy his products as an employee you have to create opportunity to sell the products and convince prospective investors to remain loyal to the investment. You have to think on you toes..if you can’t see your toes then how will you keep up with job obligations. They do not display professionalism and I dont see any of them being an @#)_(+@`*@@&++* et to Diddy. An @#)_(+@`*@@&++* istant has to be trusted to work alone with little to no micro management. An @#)_(+@`*@@&++* istant has to be dependable reliable and trustworthy. They should think in terms of business” good @#)_(+@`*@@&++* istants turn into futre partners”. Not oh my god girl i get to meet diddy i got to do all this stuff home boy then i can work for diddy. They should think I am living my resume what am I made of.. they dont challenge themselves they dont work the job they let the job work them.

  23. Wheelchair B says:

    I don’t know why all “RICH” People act this way and treat human beings like slaves! I am sure they were not always rich so whatever you went through is it that bad that you want to forget your past and treat people like animals! The part of going through any life challenges is to improve your life and others around you! Its is very sad how “CELEBS” conduct themselves. They put their pants on like I do so they just people to me! I am glad I am taking “PSYCHOLOGY” this sememster so I can understand why people behave this way? The people like the producers and so on are just as responsible for allowing this to happen! The Golden Rule is Treat Others As You Want To Be Treated!!! Karma always come back to bite! Ouch!

    Money is not everything because when its your time…its your time and you can not pay your way out with money! I want to leave this world with a piece of mind that I treated my fellow man and woman with respect! I want to be remembered as helping people and not hurting them! I never look down on the homeless because no one is untouchable! I could be that homeless man and I pray people would reach out to help me when I need it!

    They prey on the weak who would do anything for money or to find success! To all the people that got hired doing this type of nonsense and see nothing wrong with this I am 99% sure that my resume look just as good with not having a celeb listed on mines! It really bothers me that you took this road because you don’t deserve to be treated this way! You have so many avenues and opportunities out here that at the end of the day you will be proud of yourself and you will make your family proud that you did something else alot postive then being on a reality show! To these people who are out there applying trying to get on a reality show remember that you carrying your family last name! Please don’t embarrass them like this!

    I am a disabled (PARAPLEGIC) paralyzed in a wheelchair for 4 years and I have a nice home, car, and going to school to get my )+&^$$(“@%)^$% ociate Degree in Health Information Technology. NEVER GIVE UP on your hopes and dreams! Believe in yourself and only you can MOTIVATE yourself to achieve success! Not Rich People/Celebs because some only out to get what is best for them! Think about this most of them want to be on television when they helping people or charities because its all about the LIMELIGHT! I am an proud IRAQ VETERAN! I have been around the world to and I did not need a celeb help to get me there! I can talk on their level and when they say I been to this place I can name places in the world that I been to that they could only dream of going to! God has opened up many avenues for me and one thing is that it does not matter that I am in a wheelchair because I always hold my head up high and smile! At the end of the day I know I treated everyone with “RESPECT” and that I made my family very proud! I am blessed to be at this point in my life and I don’t have to be rich to see that you do not have to treat people this way on these reality shows or elesewhere!!!

    I served in IRAQ in a real WAR with real SOLDIERS, AIRMEN, MARINES, SEAMEN who only MISSION is whether they know you or not is to protect the United States so that you can have the FREEDOMS to do whatever you choose!!!

    Its sad that rich “PEOPLE “they are doing alot of negative things instead of setting the stage for postive things in America! Rich People/CELEBS you must change because I know deep down you did not find success to talk down and belittle people! Please treat everyone with respect no matter what race they are and where they come from! I hope this show and others will move in a postive direction from now on!

  24. JustAsking says:

    Okay, am I the only one that is wondering why on the show (and here) when they show Diddy talking to the contestants it seems as if Laverne was absent? She wasn’t shown with the others on the show, she is missing in the shot above, and yet..the one moment I DID want to see (them two meeting – strictly to see the body language) didn’t get aired. WHAT GIVES?

  25. PATRICHER says:

    YOU ARE ALWAYS IN MY PRAYS. YOU HAVE A LOT OF HATER OUT THERE BUT I WANT YOU TO KNOW I TRULY LOVE AND CARE ABOUT YOU. YOUR FATHER GAVE ME 25 CENTS BACK IN THE DAY. i’LL NEVER FORGET, I USED TO GO TO THE STORE FOR YOUR DAD TO BUY STOCKING FOR HIS STOCKING CAPS. Melvin was a close friend of the family. Him mother is my God mother I believe it is meant to be for me to continue to lift you up in pray. I love the Bad Boy Sage Continue I work out to the music. I would do anything to get an autograph picture of your twins girls. Scribble scrabble.
    gone with your bad self.

  26. PATRICHER says:


    Can I get an autograph picture of your twins, plus kids (scribble scrabble)?


  27. sweetpea says:

    I want to say keep poprah I love her I love her stirve she is the only one that is doing what she is suppose to do everyone else think it time to meet friends they are competing for a job not there to make friends and if she got to do what she got to do to get it cause if she don’t someone else may get it so keep up the work Kim I love you forget what everybody else had to say.