Typically, the day before VH1 reality shows are shot, the contestants are pooled together and held at a hotel (though they’re usually not allowed to interact with one another or even know who they’re about to compete with). This is to make sure everyone’s available and ready for the televised task at hand. It’s kind of like when you don’t take your fish out of its plastic bag for a few hours after submerging it in its aquarium…well it’s like that except, as you’ll see below, bitchier. Just a few hours before they were bussed to Charm School, we talked to 10 of its to-be-enrolled students about strategy, rivalries and what they’ll do with the $100,000, should they win the show. For the rest of the week, we’ll roll out the brief, s***-talking laced interviews. Megan, Brandi C., and Lacey are the first up below. If you fell into a coma in 1988 and just woke up, you’d swear they were getting ready to participate in G.L.O.W.

Megan

Are you coming in with any strategy?

No. But Lily has lots of strategy. She has lots of plans. She’s going to sneak in and listen to other people’s conversations and come back to tell me what they said.

Out of all the girls, who needs Charm School the most?

I think the girl who needs it the most is going to get the least out of it, and that’s Heather. She’s, like, been garbage her whole life and I feel like if nothing has clicked by now, when she’s pushing 40, she’s just a waste of space.

Do you have any plans for the money should you win?

Of course. Lily has been bothering me for what every girl wants: a little boy toy to play with in her spare time. Nothing that’s going to tie her down, but just something for when she’s bored. She’s actually been very specific: she wants a bad little dog that barks a lot, growls and looks really mean, but is actually very nice around her. Like a little gangster dog. For myself, I don’t know. Just the usual maintenance. It tends to be expensive.

Brandi C.

How do you feel about going to Charm School?

My friend’s there, I love Megan, and I think that everyone is stupid. I’ve gone through the people in my head and they’re just filler. They’re like children. They need daycare. They need to be put in a playpen and just leave me alone.

What’s your strategy?

Just to go. I realize there are things I need to change about myself, but I don’t think they’re big deals. Fine-tuning is the most I need. As long as I’m making progress and showing them I’m really trying, I think I’ve got this. I’m probably one of the best people that could make a change, no one else…like, Heather could use a lot of help, but she won’t. And there’s other people that don’t need help. What are they gonna do?

Is there anyone you’re not looking forward to dealing with?

Heather. Heather’s disgusting. She’s beyond fixable. She’s trash and she will never change. It’s only a matter of time before she goes back to being a stripper.

What are your plans for the money if you win?

I don’t know if you remember the Rock of Love reunion, but I sewed the dresses Kristia and I wore. I’ve been working on stuff since. I want to build an empire and I want to start with clothes. If I had that money, I could get a bigger sewing machine. Right now, I have a Hello Kitty one. It’s cute but it’s not industrial.

Lacey

Do you have any strategy going in?

Of course, always! Basically, I’m gonna do everything I can to please Sharon, and everything I can to displease the other girls.

Is there anyone you’re not looking forward to dealing with?

I’m not sure how it’s gonna go down with Heather. We were friends for a long time, but she’s kinda done some crappy things to me and said some crappy things. Also, she hates my really good friend, Brandi C. I don’t know how that’s gonna fly.

Who needs Charm School the most?

Probably Tiffany. Is she here?

Do you have any plans for the money?

Absolutely. I started my own pet rescue after Rock of Love finished taping and it has cost me a lot of money in vet bills because most of the animals that I rescue need surgery, have broken legs, all sorts of issues. I’ve maxed out my credit cards doing it because I’ve become really passionate about it. That’s why I feel like I deserve to win the most, because if I win, the animals win. If these other bitches win, they’re going to get boob jobs and hair extensions and that’s it.

Remember to catch the Rock of Love Charm School premiere Sunday at 9/8c on VH1.

Related content
Rock of Love Charm School show page
Charm School videos and extras