Thank god Lina wouldn’t do the girl-on-girl kiss! If she had, we might never have experienced anything this brilliant as long as we lived…
And that would be such a shame!
The girls return from last week’s judging. Here’s Michelle’s brief recap:
There are worse things to be than all-or-nothing, though. Like nothing-nothing. That’d suck the most.
When the girls meet with Shawnee for this week’s challenge, she’s all smiles.
And with good reason! This week’s challenge is going to be about comedy-horror: the task is essentially to make a potentially funny scene better in whatever way the girls see fit. They’ll be acting out a scene from The Brain That Wouldn’t Die, a 60′s b-movie that was once skewered by Mystery Science Theater 3,000.
Acting along side of the girls will be these slabs of meat:
They’re two models who can’t act for crap. They’re essentially muscles that wouldn’t die.
There are two basic ways that this can be played: seriously to respect the inherent humor or over-the-top to enhance it. Lindsay goes for genuine, but it’s sort of embellished.
Tanedra pretty much goes the same route.
Angela does a straightforward reading…
Sarah goes sarcastic…
Michelle’s display…
…gets a rise out of Shawnee. Or, at least, her eyebrows.
Lina decides to make it “musical.”
Where’s Darren Lynn Bousman when you need him?
And finally, there is Jessica, who puts her unique spin on this scene by making her talking, disembodied head deaf and quite possibly retarded.
And if you think this episode’s offensiveness ends here…
…you’re wrong. Dead wrong!
Anyway, Lindsay’s just-over-the-top-enough reading of the scene gets her immunity this week. Yay for controlled camp!
This week’s Homa teach will be aided by this woman…
She is a master in what Homa refers to as “the art of screaming.” So it’s an art, now? She’s responsible for this DVD…
…as well as various facial awesomeness…
She has the girls do this exercise that finds them making “psssss” pee-pee noises with their mouths. “You feel that pushing down to the floor?” she asks. “That’s called the T. It stands for tampon. It’s getting one out without using your hands.” I don’t even know what to say to comment on that. Apparently, this technique is effective.
The girls scream like queens.
Come on, Angela! You’ll never really scream until you let the tampon fall!
When it’s Jessica’s turn up, she attacks the lesson so half-heartedly.
Homa yells at her for laughing, and she denies it. Uh, except…we can see you? Jessica’s laughter turns to tears upon reflection.
Her moods swing like a pendulum over a pit. Appropriate.
At home, a decaying zombie drops of scripts for the girls.
Don’t shoot the messenger, but if you must, aim for the head.
The script is for a trailer to a hypothetical movie, Reform School Zombie Squad. The girls find that not only is there hilarious use of the word “vagina” included in the script…
…there is also a girl-on-girl tongue-down.
Michelle takes issue with this as she “doesn’t believe in” kissing girls. But don’t worry, sensitives: she has lesbian friends. So that explains away any dubious hatred. Lina’s friends, on the other hand, aren’t gay (that’s if she actually has any). “I don’t think girls should be kissing girls. It’s just not normal,” she says. It’s fascinating that a member of a minority group is commenting on normalcy, as though there’s only one right way to be. Isn’t “normal” white and in Middle America, neither of which has anything to do with Lina? It’s also fascinating that an aspiring actress would say something so judgmental for all of gay-ass Hollywood to see. Apparently, getting cast is way too easy and Lina is a girl who likes a challenge.
Helping James Gunn judge this week’s direct this week’s director’s challenge will be…
…who’s the director of:
Also here to help is James’ brother, Sean Gunn.
Unfortunately, he left the prosthetics at home:
That’s in reference to Lina, whose reading he calls “borderline racist.” It’s funny that after a few minutes of watching her, Sean can tell us what we knew from previous episodes. When asked, Lina makes no reference to her distaste for kissing women so of course she gets cast in one of the girl-on-girl roles. She has some weird faith that she won’t actually have to make out with a girl.
The shoot begins and it’s pretty hilarious. Here are some still highlights:
Lina keeps doing weird stuff with her tongue, despite James’ request for her to stop:
It seems to be in prep for the make-out scene, but she backs out of that at the last minute, much to James’ dismay. Jessica steps in, however, to attach herself to Angela’s face.
Is this Reform School Zombie Squad or Alien?
In the end, Angela and Lina get summoned as the Bottom 2, while Michelle is the Leading Lady.
It’s bittersweet for her since she won and yet will lose one of two of the girls she’s grown closest to.
Though Angela gets called out for failing to make a connection and being otherwise bottled-up…
…Lina’s lesbian bait-and-switch is what sends her packing — Homa in particular says he has zero tolerance for her crap.
Lina interviews that she’s not leaving because her her acting. Of course, she isn’t staying because of it, either.
Related content
Scream Queens show page
Scream Queens videos
Horror Hotties (a photo gallery of fright-flick actresses)
14 responses to to Scream Queens Recap – Episode 4 – Kiss Off
Jessica was much worse than Angela. Lina deserved to leave, but Jessica should have been 2nd to last. I didn’t like when Jessica acted $@!^`#(@$@~+#^`!$_ ed in the first challenge, and her acting was terrible in the whole episode. I thought Angela’s performances were above average and Jessica’s were waayyy below average. And this is true of the whole show so far.
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Totally disagree with white being “normal.” That comment is just as bad as the dumb crap that Lina has been saying. Dictionary.com the definitions for “normal” and see if you think that everyone who isn’t white is also not “normal.” Nice try though… but if we’re gonna talk about Lina’s ability to be politically correct, you should be too.
:)
I’m pretty sure he was being sarcastic about white being normal. And I agree that Jessica should have been in the bottom two. I kind of liked her in the beginning but now everytime she tries to act I want to kill myself. Her “interpretations” are so weird.
I believe Lina’s comment about “normal” referred to the status quo, and frankly, I don’t even really understand your comment because I don’t know how else to read Lina’s words. I took her use of “normal” to mean what the majority of people subscribe to, and thus is right (“I don’t think girls should be kissing girls” is the judgment; “It’s just not normal” is the rationale). My point was not to say “white is normal”; it was to expand on Lina’s logic. Ultimately, “normal” is a worthless thing to aspire to because, hello, the world is diverse. I would expect any member of a minority to understand this.
Couldn’t care less about political correctness, as that is a matter of syntax and I don’t expect eloquence from reality shows. But anything that even verges on being intolerant deserves discussion in this heated political climate.
this actress being afraid of girl on girl is just like top model when girls don’t want to get naked. its like I understand standing up for your morals but look at the business as it is today. if you’re a model there will be nude photos (does not mean porn) and as an actress girl kissing is the norm for campy horror (does not mean porn!). so I guess I would say if you have these morals holding you back why even put yourself out there? just stick to your cosey bible study or christian school theater. save the acting gigs for the real people who want it.
I agree with Jessica being HORRIBLE! Why is she still there? I love Michelle after this week’s episode, but I don’t think she’s as pretty as she thinks she is. Angela is really good, and if the judges cant see that, hopefully someone else will. She’s beautiful, and more talented than all of the girls on that show, except for Lindsey, who doesn’t have the looks.
i must say i have to disagree with everyone about jessica. yeh, she did horrible in the acting challenge…but so did michelle and lina. as for the trailer they shot…have y’all seen it? (it’s posted up here on vh1). jessica did a great job with her part, lina was horrible, and angela WAS mediocre. you need to judge from the actual trailer, not from the snippets they show you on the show. of course they’re only going to show when jessica does bad (or when she’s not doing anything at all)….they’ve typecast her as “the crazy”, you’re supposed to dislike her. also check out the extra clip of her by herself…all of the girls exscept tanedra and apparently lindsay were kinda mean to her.
as for michelle winning leading lady, that was definitely another faux pas. if they were counting the acting challenge (which they should be, as it’s supposed to be the “strongest performance for the week”, a la sarah in episode 1), lindsay or tanedra should have been leading lady this week, as they both did well in the challenge and the trailer. if it was chosen from trailer only, michelle still shouldn’t have won, because sarah was awesome! have you seen her character? hilarious. as well, lindsay, jessica, and tanedra all appeared do equally well with their characters. so, as it has been said before by others (and by the actresses themselves on their blogs)…apparently james gunn has a big ol’ boner for michelle.
The show was already outright racist (Lina) and anti-semitic (Jessica) last episode — I found it interesting to see those incidents let go. So with this episode, Lina goes all homophobic AND racist AND anti-semitic, it was a true pleasure to watch her get booted. What an ugly tool.
Of course, since very few Jews and very few homosexuals work in Hollywood, she should do okay in her future acting career.
I’m waiting for Jessica to get kicked up next episode. Not just because she’s a nutcase idiot who can’t act.
And I’m pulling for either Sarah or Tanedra to win.
Oh yeah, Teaye, the ‘normal’ was in quotes. Sarcasm, see?
Well…as a hot-blooded red-blooded guy I think Jesscia and Angela’s girl-on-girl kiss was extremely hot. I’m not sure two others would’ve done it better than that it looked like something you would see in a porn. I actually believed VH1 might get fined by the FCC but I can’t be too surprised they haven’t yet. But no matter how good you can make a kiss like that look good it doesn’t make up for your terrible acting and Jesscia is as bad as any. Angela herself also needs to step up some.
this is crazy.
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good luck
I LOVE THIS SHOW AND I WANT ANOTHER SEASON TO COME ON!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
mela- you are a %)~(%_(@#+_)^*&^^ sucking fat +*)!&&!$!!&__`# bull _!_*%(“%#(*`^`^ getting naked is the same as porn you dumbass ugly ^&%&_(~^@^(%_(%&+ just because most decent people don’t want to show off their bodies and have perverts look at them doesn’t make them a bible thumper. and wtf do you have the right to insult christians? you low life goggle eyed fat +!+%)$^~`$+%%`)& munching skank.
mela- you are a d*ldo sucking fat a$$ bull dike. getting naked is the same as porn you dumbass ugly b*tch. just because most decent people don’t want to show off their bodies and have perverts look at them doesn’t make them a bible thumper. and wtf do you have the right to insult christians? you low life goggle eyed fat c*nt munching skank.