The Celebreality Interview – Brian


After watching this season of The Pick Up Artist, it’s obvious that Brian might be the show’s craziest contestant. He has made out with mannequins, admitted to practicing his kissing technique on ham slices, and coined more than his share of slang (“smokin’ balls,” anyone?). Turns out, Brian in real life is exactly like Brian on the show, and when we talked, our conversation had equal amounts ADD and TMI – that’s just how Brian rolls. Deep down though, he’s all about making friends with everyone. In fact, I think we ended the conversation with my promising to cook him dinner if he’s ever in New York. He may be off the show, but Brian’s not easily forgotten.

So tell me, what was it like meeting Mystery, was it exciting or did he just come across as a normal guy?

He was a bit different. When I first saw him I was like wow, he looks like a rock star. I thought we’d have to dress like him and I was like “I’m way too short to wear that trench coat,” and I didn’t know if I’d be able to pull off the Darth Vader goggles and cowboy hat.

Everyone else that I’ve talked to from the show says that you’re the one person they all definitely keep in touch with.

I pretty much get along with everyone and there really wasn’t like any major drama and it’s not like a show where you get voted off, it’s all based on performance so you can do good for three or four challenges and the next challenge you screw up and get kicked off.

Read the rest of the interview after the jump.

Do you think that’s fair?

It’s maybe a little unfair ’cause Todd did really well and he just messed up on one challenge and just from his performance on the one challenge he got kicked off.

That’s what happened to you too, don’t you think? Up until that last challenge, Mystery, Matador and Tara had nothing but love for you and their reactions were always positive and they were impressed by your confidence.

I’m really confident, but I have approach anxiety that I couldn’t get over. Major, major approach anxiety. Capital major. Capital M-A-J-O-R. But now I’m still the same person, it’s just like I’m a better and improved Brian.

Have you put your training to use since the show?

Oh yeah. I’m lovin’ life right now. My results are more than one and less than one hundred. I’ve got to get to know you a little bit better before I let you know the real number.

So for your last challenge -

Which one was the last one, the one where we had to number close?

Yeah, you had to get a number from a bikini model.

Yeah, I was too intimidated by the skinny little thongs in between the girls’ butts. They were good lookin’ though.

So that made it harder?

It was so nerve-wracking, you knew there were cameras around and like, the first five-set that I walked into I said that they had orange faces and tans and all of them heard me say that and when I went around to open other sets they would be like “There’s the guy who told us we had orange skin!”

Have you learned your lesson? You should never call a girl orange.

Yeah, maybe I should’ve said they were too yellow instead. Hey, are you very experienced, sexually? I’m just wondering because I read on a blog, I was reading a bunch of stuff that people were writing about me, but then I read that semen is good for your skin and all these people on the blog were like “You should use the semen opener where you tell a girl semen is really good for her skin.”

I’m not so sure you should use that one.

I don’t think I would either. It was just coming from these crazy guys that worship me. Like all the messages I get on MySpace and Facebook are from guys, so many guys come up to me, it’s weird. I wish it was the opposite gender.

Maybe they look up to you.

But it’s like, tons of guys who add me and ask me for advice and hang out with me, it’s probably 80% guys and 20% girls, it’s horrible.

What do the girls say to you?

They say “Oh HA HA you are so hilarious. You’re so funny. I love you. Now when can I meet Mystery?” Every girl I talk to wants to meet Mystery or Matador and they wanna use me as a middle man. I took a girl to a party and she ended up hooking up with some other guy to try to get to Mystery.



Do you like hanging out at clubs like the ones you went to on the show, or do you meet girls at school or in dive bars?

I like dive bars better, I went to a club on my birthday and they were only letting in one guy for every three girls and they weren’t letting my friends in so I was gonna walk out. You know where I like to hang out at? Under big tall trees and just chill, just enjoying nature. I love the outdoors, reading a good book, going to the beach.

Do you really like pickle juice?

Well, like I don’t like drinkin’ it, but I like, like, getting the giant pickles from a theme park. Have you seen that Zohan movie?


I saw it. It’s pretty funny. Stupid funny.

Did you just see it?

No. I saw it in the theater. Adam Sandler is one of my favorite actors. And the guy from Superbad. And I like romantic comedies.

Do you want to act?

No, the thing is that I found a job on Craigslist and when I went in for an interview they referred me for The Pickup Artist and I’m like, I’m not an actor, I’ve never read scripts but I tried out and like 4 months later they called me and I was like, cool! I had very little investment in it, I hadn’t seen the first season, I don’t have cable. I don’t know anything about pop culture except that Lindsay Lohan and Britney Spears are drunk-asses. I haven’t even picked up the book The Game yet, I feel like I should read it.

If you’re having fun, you probably don’t need to read it.

Really, going out is all about confidence and having fun and having a good time with your friends and projecting your true personality. Vibrating with the crowd and showing the whole room love. Just love everyone and respect them.

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