The Pick-Up Artist 2 Recap – Episode 6

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This week on The Pickup Artist, the guys show how far they’ve come, and man, they sure don’t look like the same nerds we met six weeks ago. They were total pros out in the field and there was lots of making out going on. There was also a very Top Gun vibe what with all the wingmen – Rian and Greg easily filled the roles of Maverick and Goose as they competed against Matt and Simeon (er, Iceman and Slider) for immunity. There was no sexy, sweaty beach volleyball, but we did get a glimpse at a new, shirtless Simeon. Umm, Simeon. . .care to explain?

When Rian returns to the house with the last of Mystery’s medallions from last week, Simeon tells the group “We’re the Fantastic Four right here.” With Brian now gone, the guys have lost a friend, but also a rival – they’re all one step closer to being the master pickup artist, but first, in a move to see whose day game it tops, they’re are hurtled into a sea of coupon-clippers and price checks at the grocery store.

Mystery explains that day game is like a watered-down version of the pickup techniques the guys are used to – body language must be toned down and negging should be kept to a minimum. Besides, no woman is going to get with you if she has Tofutti Cuties that need to hit the freezer asap. A subtler approach is called for. While Matt starts off strong, all the Luna Bar jokes in the world couldn’t stop him from losing momentum. He ends up nervously batting around an onion, which I wish was a euphemism, and leading Mystery to joke “There’s an eight-set of asparagus right behind you!” Poor Matt just couldn’t produce. Get it? Produce? Like the produce aisle? Sorry…

Next up, Rian enters boldly and heads straight for the chocolate fountain, always a good move, because where there’s a chocolate fountain there are most definitely single women congregating. He starts off well but then starts in on some “theater exercise” version of patty-cake, yet he still manages to number close a two-set of girls. The grocery store seems to be Rian’s element.

Maybe Simeon remembered the Sesame Street episode where the food in the fridge could talk to each other, because when it was his turn, he seemed to direct his opener at a wall of herbs rather than the girl next to him, and was shocked when the ladies weren’t responsive. He then forced a girl into conversation and somehow, despite her discomfort, got her phone number, all the while causing our judges to cringe.

“What I proceeded to do is the exact opposite of everything I had been told,” Simeon said while sauntering off into the employees-only room. Meanwhile, Greg couldn’t close any deals and froze after making chit-chat and faking interest in food samples. The fake perplexed look on Greg’s face as he fakes interest in what he just sampled and fake contemplates going back for more is genuinely entertaining.

Matt and Greg may charm the ladies at night, but their day game proved lacking and Rian was named the winner of the challenge.

Back at home, Matt confides to the gang that he feels like he’s dumbing himself down when he’s out in the field. “Who’s going to a club to talk about the Socialist policies of France? Nobody is! But that’s in my wheelhouse, you know?” Well Matt, you’re right. No one goes to bars, or the supermarket or even French Socialist club to talk about that. It looks like your wheelhouse shall remain a fortress of solitude. Later, Matt references Mel Brooks and Carl Reiner so actually, Matt might want to hit up Club My Dad if this is the kind of conversation he’s looking for.

Mystery, Matador and Tara arrive to teach a lesson about being a good wingman. These lessons include talking up your buddy in what’s known as “accomplishment intros” and preventing obstacles from getting between you and your target, in other words, warding off cock blocks. With the help of a wingman, the goal of this week’s field test is to make out with a girl. As the winner of the reward challenge, Rian was allowed to choose his wingman, and he decided to pair with Greg, leaving Matt and Simeon together.

Out in the field Greg and Rian successfully manage to get three girls to come sit with them in the VIP area. Greg makes out with his target in no time at all, leaving her awed by his smooth techniques.

Rian was left to fend off the other two girls – literally. He actually had both girls offering to kiss him and each other, and one of the girls even apologized saying her kissing was out of practice. Rian went in for an innocent “little brother” kiss with her and while it wasn’t a full-on makeout, for a guy who was trying to diplomatically handle a threesome without ever having kissed anyone, he did well.

Later when it’s Matt and Simeon’s turn, Simeon and His Magical Cowboy Hat get some action right out of the gate.

Matt and His Suit spend too much time talking business and he doesn’t make a move on his target until after Simeon comes by for some wingman motivation. Watching them and seeing how much their confidence has grown since the beginning of the show is exciting at this point. As soon as Simeon leaves Matt and his girl alone, they’re playing tonsil hockey in no time.

Having a wingman has made the guys wayyy less self-conscious.

“It’s official, we’ve built four really, really impressive pickup artists,” Doctor FrankenMystery tells his assistants Matador and Tara.

Since Matt and Simeon both achieved the makeout goal, Mystery chose them as the winners. Their styles complemented each other and ultimately that’s what won it for them. On the other hand, while Greg also accomplished the goal, he proved to be a selfish wingman by not helping in any way (perhaps he could have pulled one of the target girls off of Rian for a few minutes so Rian could collect himself), and now the two of them would be fighting for the last medallion.

We haven’t heard much from the guys in the way of playing the reality game – up until this point they’ve all been grateful for the lessons they’ve learned from Mystery – but now that it’s down to four, it’s getting competitive. “At this point, I really wanna win this competition and strategically I think Greg poses more of a threat than Rian does, therefore I would actually like to see Greg go home,” Simeon says. Cold, Simeon, cold. But this is an elimination show and there’s been no cattiness thus far, so it’s refreshing to finally see some strategy employed. We’re so close to one of the guys saying “I didn’t come here to make friends, I came here to win!” I can feel it.

Each guy was allowed to make his case for staying, and Rian made his point by saying that he doesn’t even kiss his family, so to have kissed one girl on the lips, even if it wasn’t a makeout, was a success. That tugged at the old heartstrings until Matador pointed out “You don’t kiss? That’s what we do man!” Touché. This guy must’ve killed at debate club.

Greg sealed the deal though when he said “I feel like I’ve grown one thousand percent, and I feel like I have the potential to grow another million percent.” How can you say no to that? That’s some solid math right there. Had Rian only played the numbers game, maybe he wouldn’t have been the recipient of this week’s Fuzzy Farewell Montage.

  1. Matador's Perfect Body says:

    Mmmmmmmmmmmmmm…Mat-a-dor………….

  2. Derp says:

    I was laughing so damn hard when they cut to Matt and Simeon, Matt was in a bedtime t-shirt and Simeon was shirtless. Then the first thing you hear from either of them is “Last night was great!” By the way, that fluffy scarf thing that Simeon is wearing…. Didn’t Mystery give that to Matt? Why is Simeon wearing that? Maybe those two did do a little something after the club! :O

  3. Loose Stool says:

    Great show! I almost pinched a loaf during the grocery store challenge.

  4. mnchick says:

    Um..hi…Matador…fantabulously hot! Yummy yummy! Now that that is out of the way….

    Rian deserved to go… The other three have made more strides in their Pick-up game.

  5. Banks says:

    By far the best episode of Pickup part deux. Indeed these “Fantastic Four” really strutted their stuff in the club, executing perfectly what they had been taught previously that afternoon…If only they had this enlightenment earlier, oh well…Highlight of the episode was Simeon talking to the produce in the supermarket, haha, hilariously awkward. Also, the “Simatt” interview was a good laugh as well, silly pickup artists.

    Honestly though, I am quite disappointed to see Rian go home. I cheered for him since day one, especially because he is ALWAYS the underdog and no one ever expects much from him, so when he shines he REALLY shines brightly. For anyone who has every thought that Pickup is impossible or that YOU are that guy who has a 0% chance, Rian is your hero, your champion, your inspiration…Baller outrageous Rian, baller outrageous.

  6. D'Anna says:

    I seriously laughed at the 8 set of asparagus joke.

    And yeah, the frame of Matt and Simeon was weeeeird.

  7. Yamilet says:

    I really think they all need walking classes!!!! Ryan’s walks was terrible, how could mystery have not done anything about that yet? They should walk with more grace. You can tell by their walking they are geeks. I do not think they would have a real change if you do not mix the classes with a couple of sessions with a psychologist to work on their self esteem which is the root of the whole issue in their lives.

  8. MATT says:

    Kiss the girls, kiss the girls. Two cute girls next to you and you only peck one, NOOOO.

    Also, Simeon and Matt did a nice job working together. I would love a wingman like that.

  9. slim says:

    i cant believe these guys. how did they cast for these losers? there r only 4 left till the show is over n there as much of a loser as they were in the beginning. Simeon is the worst of them all. He comes off as sweet (gay) as mystery does.Mystery looks like he hates that he has to teach losers to pick up women cause he wants to make passionate love to his pupils. I was watching this show for the 1st time tonight and im looking at this guy mystery in a cut off, see through shirt. and he has make up on, he talks like the softest man in america yet hes teaching other losers how to pick up women? he should be teaching these losers to give up on women and get with each other. Damn, now mystery is wearing fish net stockings as an undershirt??? The real mystery is why this man is trying to fool people into thinking he’s straight?

  10. MATADOR'S BIG WIG says:

    Yes it is me here MATADOR’S BIG WIG…

    I know I know you like my sexy body and hot looks…BUT….please pay attention to me the most important part of MATADORISM, the hot sexy silkky shiny beautiful bufont pompadour on top of my head, you know the thing that really makes me so HOT….I AM MATADOR’S BIG FAKE WIG!!! HEAR ME ROAR!!!RAWR!!!

  11. hustlerintraining says:

    DUDE!! I was laughing my ars off when Matador said to Rian, “You dont kiss!! That’s what we do man”…..ROFLMAO…classic.

  12. l.shanks says:

    mystery i wish you would have kept brian he was my little sweeetheart .i like a guy that can make me laugh. anyway i think matt is going to take it all he is soooo cute love toyou, matador, and tyra

  13. Rick says:

    I like Paris Hiltons’ show… Women approach men—:)

  14. Chris says:

    Guys, guys, whats up with next weeks episode? Friends from home? I want something along the lines of last season. Send Simian in to pick up some strippers. Stripper Game, Stripper Game, Stripper Game.

    Anyway awesome episode, these guys are seriously developing.

    Cheers
    Chris

  15. Rhonda says:

    Go Greg!! I am so cheering for you. You are too darn cute!! Keep up the good work and you will be fine. Great episode!!

  16. Jenn says:

    I think Matt is the sexiest guy on the show, even before his make over I thought he was sexy

  17. Emily says:

    I think Greg is hot. If he doesn’t end up winning (which he will), then you can come date me! <3

  18. casey says:

    where can you write to Mystery and Matador

  19. jenn says:

    the last 3 were all sexy guys nd its sad that greg got voted off…i thought he would win but its lookn like simion is gonn take the ^##)%`$#(#^^*+! le. god i wish brian was still on…he was my fav ;)

  20. Connie says:

    Mystery – love ya! But I think you are wrong about your mail question, “What is more important – looks or personality?” You said looks of course – I disagree somewhat. Have you ever thought someone was hot until they opened their mouth? I think looks and personality go hand in hand.

  21. irreligiouso says:

    i’m appalled a program like this exists. i’m no woman’s rights advocate, but talk about degrading. the most degrading part of this show is mystery. he has to make him self up (and out) to be this sad excuse for a man to even begin to be appealing. he’s got to be the fakest !(@!!`&*^$&*&###` i’ve ever known to exist, and i pity the ignorant and shallow “women’ who are ignorant enough to not realize this. i’m not sure who has the least self respect…one of those girls, or this “man”.the saddest thing is how he boasts his lack of self esteem by deeming himself a “teacher” for the REAL men. i feel sorry for the poor )!(@&&*_@%)+^@&#+%` i’d imagine he masturbates more than he gets laid. perhaps he should attempt showing self respect and respect for women (and his little boys) and might actually attract a REAL woman that has a brain and self respect. obviuosly they’re entirely out of his league, or this sad excuse for “entertainment” would not exist.

  22. Maria says:

    I agree that Greg is muy caliente!!!! He is absolutely adorable!!! And Mystery…the things I would do to that man!!!

  23. woody316 says:

    dear mystery? i like your show alote. how you are able to take 8 guys and teach them how to pick up girls. but my maine question to you is. can you pick up girls in small town thats not like the big clubs in the big citys. if so or not i got a test for you or show me how its done.come see me in my town and try to meet the girls around here and see if you are the real pick up artist? because i”ve been around the nation from las vegas to north carolina and i have found its harder to pick up women there than in my home town. so what i’m trying to say come show me what you got as a pick up artist! if not i think your all show and a no show. and if you decide to take this dare you. you have to bring and wear that big furry hat you got. and if you get lucky you are most defintly the man. so come on show me how its done (big shot just kidding). no come try it out in a small town or city and see what the differance is between small towns and big citys. if anything make your next pick up artist show in a small town. sorry about the crapy writing and spelling i’m the the best at it.

  24. texasviewer says:

    I think that Ryan (Rian) however is spelled is in reality gay and he is on denial, just like the first guy that was sent home, the chubby one.

  25. Ms. Cougar says:

    I’m a 40-year-old single Female and I would like to know if Mystery provides Cybersex. IM me baby!

    Cougar

  26. Paul says:

    Got run it like a business, could customer satisfaction, good business.

  27. irreligiouso says:

    can anyone that posts here spell correctly? christ, this sickens me people like this exist. i have never witnessed such ignorance and lack of self respect in my life.
    i’m out.

  28. julie says:

    simeon wins (sadly) I watched the 11 o’clock early showing of the finale. Matt really should’ve won.

  29. wabitdeb says:

    Matt, You could be a Model :)….a wonderful Husband, a great Business CEO…Anything you put your heart into..YOU CAN DO IT ! You may not have won as a Pick up Artist..Because you WON For Life. Bless You. Hey, you’ll make any girl Happy. Besides looking at Mystery (sorry a Stupid nickmane) he may have learned to be a ladies man..But he’ll never look at good as YOU. Please tell him to buy pants that fit ! It looks like the belt is the only thing holding them up !!! Good Luck Handsome:)

  30. Carrie says:

    I don’t get it…. the last tow guys aren’t bad looking. Matt is hot and he has a lask of self-confidence?
    Also Mystery needs training. What does he wear every episode? He gave a thin blak boa to Matt for winning a competition. It’s sort feminine to me. I would never go up to a guy with a boa or a boa material at with goggles attached. I also don’t get the point of the game…..keep the people that are learning on but kick the people that need the help off early? Seems stupid. At times the show is funny because these guys have no clue. If I have to hear that one guy say, “What movie is this from- No one puts baby in the corner”, I will throw up. Women should be training these guys what to do not a man that wears makeup and Gothic clothing. A woman wants to be approached with an introduction and a compliment, then you can say a cheesy line.

  31. carrie says:

    Sorry my keyboard was sticking…..it was supposed to be lack of self confidence,black and boa material hat.

  32. starrygirl says:

    Sooooooo Simeon is great I like him lots buuuuuut I love Matt and I think he should have won!!! Seriously I was going for Matt the entire time and I just wanted to say he was ROBBED! He did so well the whole time and I think He should have ended up the winner… just because if I where in a bar in az (where I live) I would sooooooooo have been more in Matt :) . And I’m a perfect 10. Haaaaaaaaaaaaaha at 5’2″ get excited fellas but still Matt is too sexy. I’ve loved him the whole time I feel like I know him and I wanna hug his puppy dog face and let him motor boat my tiny ~$^)&@&@++$`#@$ ties :). Haha.
    Love,
    Matt’s NoOne Fan

  33. Jacke says:

    Does anyone think that there will be a season 3?

  34. Darlene says:

    I think it was this episode, but one of the guys had a t shirt that had a skull and crossbone and a chinese symbol. Where can I get this?

  35. meg says:

    i just LOVE this show…every one of them deserved to be the pick up artist…maybe with the exception of the funny haired kid…cant recall his name…he was so annoying! would love to see a season 3…great concept for those in need! :)

  36. Rachell says:

    I have to say, at best, this show makes me uncomfortable. You have a bunch of douchey judges teaching these poor guys to be creepy, douchebag barflies. It’s one thing to teach a shy man to be confident and to raise his self-esteem, but you’re not really teaching him how to treat women properly. I’m a kind hearted girl and I would give a shy, akward man more of a chance than some slick, insincere phoney. You might be teaching them how to make out with strangers by being a shallow individual, but you’re not really doing the guy any favors when he has to be confident outside of the bar scene.

  37. vegaskid says:

    love the show hopefully theres a season 3 keep up the good work vh1

  38. solange says:

    yup!

  39. 1145143 says:

    What a lovely day for a 1145143! SCK was here

  40. 1479944 says:

    What a lovely day for a 1479944! SCK was here

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  44. DavieBowhie says:

    Hi, Uhm, I thought i’d ask here since the episode 7 post isnt up yet, in that episode at the 18.10 mark ish, theres a song that starts playing. I wonder if anyone knows which song it is, bothers me so much 3: Thanks!