Real Chance Of Love Recap - Episode 6 - Honey Bunny

We hereby dedicate this recap to the hotness that is Rabbit.

We can’t even know what to say!

And speaking of Rabbit…

…we open this episode to find her displeased.

She mocks Chance. At the same time, she seems to be catching up with the very concept of this show.

Uh, Rabbit? Yes he does. It’s his show. Wait politely for your own spin-off and you’ll see how it works. Did she think she was joining a polygamist commune or something?

Anyway, in response, Chance jibber-jabbers some belligerent something or other and stalks upstairs. Risky, whose proximity to Chance ignited Rabbit’s anger in the first place, meets him up there.

She is adorable and T-Bozian. She gently explains to him that the other girls feel tossed around.

But they don’t dwell on that for too long.

Speaking of dwelling:

Bay Bay Bay is particularly obsessed with Milf. She refers to her grown, sexy and blonde competitor as a “scalawag.” How bizarrely loaded, considering the history of the word (per Dictionary.com: “a native white Southerner who collaborated with the occupying forces during Reconstruction, often for personal gain”). What’s the personal gain here? Orgasms? Whatever. As long as Bay Bay Bay is giving us nonsense worth pondering, I say: obsess on.

Oh, and Milf gets yet more one-on-one time with Real.

I feel like if her onesie were altered just slightly, it’d make a great Stallionaires costume. Of course, an outfit like that works best when it is on the floor.

…which it probably is per the screen shot above. What happens next is none of our business. And a vital plot point. You get two birds with one stone. Throw some oral-sex gossip in there and you’ve got yourself a reality show!

The next day, Rabbit visits Real.

Make that adorably visits Real. She loves the attention that came as a result of him practically choking to give her his chain. But she’s afraid of becoming “Pro-Ho.” We see a montage of Promo being swatted back and forth like a badminton birdie. Basically, Rabbit’s afraid of the other girls turning on her. Get far enough and they’re going to anyway, you rascally Rabbit. Real gives her the noncommittal answer you’d expect from someone with a badminton racket in his hand whose reputation is based on not being a player.

A box comes with some outfits and a note throwing to today’s challenge. The uniforms suggest car…activities. Teams are assigned and Bubbles explains hers…

“I find out my team is K.O., Risky and Ki Ki…and K.O.” Inclusive to a fault, that’s our girl.

That means that the other team consists of Corn Fed, Cali, Rabbit, Bay Bay Bay and Milf. Bay Bay Bay’s reaction to this does not involve the word “scalawag,” but it is entertaining nonetheless:

“Whenever I think about Milf, you know when you got to throw up a little bit in your mouth? That’s how I feel.” What’s funny about this is that’s it’s inter cut with Bay Bay Bay telling the other girls to target Milf. She reasons that since Milf is “old,” she should have skeletons in the closet (so many years have gone by that the bodies are decomposing, apparently). Oh, and there’s also a thing about Milf being their “biggest competition.”

And that juxtaposition of hatred and jealousy shows us how disdain is made. This is like one of those old-school Sesame Street segments where they show you a tour of a factory to find out, I don’t know, how beer is bottled or Slim Jims are assembled or condoms are made. Yeah, just like that, except, you know, stank.

Speaking of stank, Bay Bay Bay sends some of her resentment to Milf en route to the challenge…

…Milf, using all the ammo that Real has, ahem, loaded her with, retorts, “Just remember, when you kiss him again, those lips have been all over me.”

Though her dissenters groan in response, they’re clearly excited that her running at the mouth has potentially given them some ammo to use against her. I can’t help but wonder how sanitary this whole ammo-sharing fest is.

Ki Ki interviews that Milf may have put her foot in her mouth. That’s assuming, of course, that she could get it out of Real’s.

Instead, Milf removes herself. See, today’s challenge is a car-pimping one.

Milf resolves to sit on the sideline until she receives an apology from Bay Bay Bay.

Bay Bay Bay, however, is not the apologizing type. She interviews…

“I don’t apologize to anyone for anything because I’m never wrong. So! I wasn’t gonna apologize to that old biddy.” First of all: flashback to New York on Flavor of Love 2. Second of all: biddy! As though Milf is, like, crocheting and playing bingo when Real invites her to his room every night. Bay Bay Bay’s take on the English language is pretty freaking great.

Meanwhile, on the Pink Team…

Bubbles seems to want to remove the jack that’s supporting the car so that she can move it to work on the other side. The girl is a human bubble: sue her if she doesn’t understand physics. This nonetheless gets her branded “retarded as hell” by Ki Ki. It’s not “biddy,” but it’ll do.

The girls finish and reveal their work. First up is the Pink Team…

Their design?

Tacky as hell! And look…

…bubbles!

The Gray Team is just marginally better…

It helps that Rabbit’s sexy self presents it car-show style. It’s all still Pep Boys-chic, but at least it’s a tempered sort of Pep Boys-chic.

In the end, the Gray Team brought Stallionaire flair, while the Pink Team brought everything but the kitchen sink and, like, glued it to the car. Gray Team wins! Chance chooses Cali to go on a solo date, while Real picks (dun-dun-duuuuun) Rabbit! The rest of the Grays will go on a group date with them tomorrow.

The solo date takes place at a drive-in, where they’ll watch a slide show of pictures devoted to the young lives of the Brothers Stallionaire. But first…

…Chance has to be a total jerk. It just wouldn’t be a date if he weren’t! He explains eventually that he’s preoccupied because his brother is on a date with one of his girls. He watches them openly.

At least he’s not creepy about it. Weird and menacing, yes. Creepy, no.

Real and Rabbit seem to enjoy each other’s company. At one point, Real sheathes a shivering Rabbit in his jacket. Awww, compassion! For her part, Rabbit is so freaking pretty.

Even the way she eats fries is sexy!

Grease looks really good next to her.

Anyway, the show begins and it’s funny.

Highlights include Real comparing Chance to Jodeci and “a fake-ass Ginuwine.”

Get it? Fake-ass Ginuwine? Oh Real — always the master of irony!

And interesting hair!

Once home, a pack of women swathed in blankets swarm the boys’ room to expose Milf…

…the revelations are few, but the accusations are numerous. At last, Real learns that Milf implied that she and he got down with Milf…and I’m talkin’ about downtown! More on this in a sec.

The next day, it’s time for the group date, but Chance realizes that the remaining members of the Gray Team are all Real girls. In fact, most of the girls are Real girls, period, if you count Rabbit as having crossed over. Which she hasn’t, though they do. Whatever. So Chance is staying behind today, while Real, Corn Fed, Bay Bay Bay and Milf visit a spa. With Real gone, Chance and Rabbit have a chance to bond or whatever.

She indicates that she would have liked for Chance to have stood up to his brother when he asked to take Rabbit on last night’s date. As if she minded! Rabbit is seriously and awesomely playing these guys. She’s smarter than them put together and on ginkgo biloba. Anyway, it ends up in the air, which is probably the exact way Rabbit intended.

Meanwhile…

…Real announces to the girls that he’ll be giving them massages today. Aw, he’s so sensitive and…groping. Bay Bay Bay takes the opportunity to mostly rant about Milf.

Did he eat Milf’s p****? That’s the, “To be or not to be,” of the episode.

And another thing! Bay Bay Bay think Milf is a porn star! Sounds like someone’s been surfing the Net!

When it’s Milf’s turn, she mostly spends her massage defending herself…

I can’t help but feel for her. The girls are totally ganging up on her for doing basically what they wish they could. Plus, they totally exaggerated the situation. As far as what we saw, the words “p****-eating” didn’t pass her lips. Neither set! She tearily explains this to Real.

Also, she looks particularly good this episode. You can really see what he sees in her, if that’s your thing.

Finally, there is Corn Fed, who takes Real’s mind off all this p****-eating discourse. Which is a relief, I guess?

Whatever. On the way home, Milf cries because she’s ready to be crucified for her skeletons.

Aw, don’t cry, Milf. Just tell them all to go reflux themselves.

Elimination finds Real rocking Cowardly Lion curls…

…and Chance officially reconnecting with Rabbit. He offers her the first chain, and she accepts.

Guarantee you this saga doesn’t end here. But at least for the moment, there is peace.

Corn Fed gets Real’s first chain. I’m still in shock that someone’s being rewarded for taking this dude’s mind off oral sex, but whatever. Stranger things have happened, I suppose. In the end, it comes down to Ki Ki and Milf.

Real asks Milf why she wants to stay in this house and her reply is, “I got love for you…a lot.” And long time? Ki Ki talks more about P****-Ate Gate. Milf says that she can’t take any more of this, and Ki Ki says, “I’m not talking to you!” Milf replies, “About me.”

…which, yeah, pretty much. Real observes, “Ki Ki, you made some valid damn freakin’ points. But I got some weird-ass connection with Milf.” And in the end, weird-ass connection > valid damn freakin’ points. So Milf gets to stay. Ki Ki hilariously says, “For real? For real?” in response.

She just can’t believe it! But it is so. Milf resolves to trust Real like she would a traffic cop or, I don’t know, Jesus or something…

Ki Ki goes out crying…

“He should have eliminated that bitch!” she says. I’m so glad we don’t have to ask her how she really feels. She concludes with, “That’s it and that’s all.” Really covers everything now, doesn’t it?