Scream Queens Recap – Episode 6 – Fangs For The Opportunity!


Oh, Jessica, parting is such sweet…

…corn syrup.

We open on tears.

Jessica doesn’t understand why she’s being kept around if the judges don’t want her. Soon that will be clear! Michelle attempts to reassure Jessica of her strengths (“You’re like 12 different people in one body!”). And just in case you think this marks a momentary lapse in cattiness…

…Angela’s standing right there, cracking up. Apparently, the person Jessica is at this moment isn’t very observant.

Teach time!

Today’s study is about altered states, and so the girls have to act in a scene that finds them becoming possessed. The possession transformation part invariably looks incredibly sexual.

Of course, Jessica’s sexual comes with a dab of crazy.

And Lindsay’s comes with a heaving portion of boobs.

Shawnee deadpans that Michelle’s cackling is “quite demonic.” In the end, for showing range in the field of demonic possession, Michelle wins the challenge. This grants her not immunity but the first choice of wardrobe at the upcoming director’s challenge. After all, the next best thing to being safe is being fierce.

Homa teach!

Continuing on the altered-states thread, the girls must become each other today. They’re teamed up in pairs: Angela with Lindsay, Michelle with Tanedra and Jessica with Homa (since there’s an odd number of girls). Angela and Lindsay are up first. Lindsay speaks from Angela’s point of view about her pent-up anger and the resulting frustration.

Angela cries in empathy…with herself? When it’s her turn, she mimics Lindasy’s lack of confidence even though she’s been in the biz for years.

The result is more self-empathy.

For Jessica’s part, she sits like a dude…

…but that’s about where the similarities to Homa end. She keeps referring to him as “you”…

…when really she means “I,” since she’s playing “him.” He tells her this repeatedly but she doesn’t get it. And here Michelle had her pegged as someone who could take on alternate personalities in a snap.

And finally, there is Michelle and Tanedra.

It all goes downhill from there, which is unsurprising since this sort of preface is about as disaster-predicting as something like, “Not to be racist, but…”

…which, come to think of it, Michelle might as well have added. Her characterization of Tanedra involves being a “strong black woman.” In pigtails and glasses, Michelle interviews that she’s confident she’s getting through to a crying Tanedra.

Call her “Pippi Racebaiting.”

The final straw comes when Michelle characterizes Tanedra as coming from the projects, which Tanedra immediately protests. It just isn’t true, she then launches into a ditzy riff on Michelle…

It includes the statements, “Minorities are just not marketable,” and “I’ll just continue running around in pasties all day!” It also includes angry jiggling.

…and, even more exciting: close-up angry jiggling.

Homa stops them and says that the point is not to dump on each other. Aw come on, man. Didn’t you enjoy the angry jiggling? Tanedra’s mad, though, because the perception that Michelle seems to have of her is the exact perception she’s trying to beat. Homa concludes by saying that Lindsay and Angela are the only ones who really got the teach. Oh well, at least the rest were fun to watch.

Later, Michelle apologizes to Tanedra for being “completely wrong.” That was big of her. Until the next bit of misguided racial discourse that Scream Queens stumbles into (as it’s wont to do), all is forgiven.

Director’s Challenge! Today’s scene will be acted opposite this guy…

…who’s probably best known for his title role in Henry: Portrait of a Serial Killer. It’s really awesome that he’s on this show, especially since Henry’s motto is so suited for reality TV: it’s always the same and it’s always different. The girls will play seductive vampire ladies (Draculettes, if you will) who end up biting Michael. Angela is stoked.

She says she actually wants to be a vampire. She says this without a trace of irony. Meanwhile, Michelle in her hand-picked wardrobe is just happy to be hot.

As she should be.

The scene plays out with the girls straddling Rooker, biting his wrist and then really letting him have it on the neck. Fake blood abounds:

And who could resist some licking and sucking?

This is Scream Queens, after all.

In the end, Angela, Lindsay and Jessica are summoned.

Angela is praised, the other girls are not. Shawnee says that they wouldn’t be comfortable bringing either of them in front of the Saw producers. They were both amateurish in this week’s scene. Jessica is unpredictables, according to James, although Homa seems to counter this argument while still knocking her as playing varying degrees of the same crazy character. Lindsay’s nerves are getting in the way of her success, but in a soliloquy, she states that if her self confidence is low, she doesn’t need to be picked apart for it. Here’s someone who’ll never be in the running towards becoming America’s Next Top Model, that’s for sure. And then Homa attempts to make some argument that having low self-esteem is good for actresses or at least common and, uh, yeah, whatever Jessica’s going home.

She’s gracious and thankful upon exiting. Angela, on the other hand, rants when she finds out that Michelle’s been named Leading Lady. Looks like the crazy slot is being filled just fine in Jessica’s absence!

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