Real Chance Of Love – Episode 8 – No Snitching

In this episode, Chance and Real basically say…

…eff the police. So retro, yet so current. You know how these fashionista thugs do!

We begin on a note from Rabbit.

It apparently contains information on how much Rabbit likes Chance. Gee, I thought it would be a book review or perhaps her breakfast order. That Rabbit, so full of surprises.

Meanwhile, Bay Bay Bay sits outside with K.O. BBB wonders if K.O. could handle Real going on tour for a month. Who does she think he is, Bret Michaels? K.O. walks right into what seems to be BBB’s trap and says that she couldn’t. Further discussion yields…

Well then. Head pinned under a mousetrap as it is, K.O. visits real to relay the news…

But he basically talks her out of it, saying he wants to spend more time with her tonight. Aw, he really cares enough to send his very horniest.

The girls get Stallionaire Mail that states they want to treat the ladies to a day of play away from the house, which is apparently the most exciting thing Corn Fed has ever heard.

Life on reality TV can be brutal! And we’re about to find out just how brutal it gets, albeit in a totally constructed way.

The girls are bussed to a posh bar, where they find Chance and Real already hanging out.

There is general merriment that includes Chance dancing and Risky nearly biting his ear off. These people really know how to party. In the middle of it, Cali receives a caller.

She pretty much just blows him off, but he returns for more.

Why do men do this? She didn’t want his drink and now he’s asking her for something? Maybe he thinks she’s more of a giver than a receiver? Whatever, that’s none of my business and it sure isn’t his. Cali blows him off again, interviewing that now she’s getting mad that someone’s interrupting her time with her man…

…and his harem. How dare someone encroach on her quality time!

Chance ends up going to the bar where he has some words with the giver-receiver.

This quickly escalates into a physical altercation in which Real hits him over the head with a bottle. It all happens so fast that I could only grab a blurry still:

Real is so so menacing with his thuggish ruggish sugar glass, no?

The girls are shocked and amazed…

…and even Celebreality evil genius Mark Cronin makes a cameo, evacuating them from the lounge because this is serious, damn it!

Inside the limo the girls weep…

…and weep…

…and pray.

Their agony is worth multiple mentions/screenshots because of the cruelty of what happens next. When the girls arrive home, they find cops waiting.

And then there’s this big to-do about the cameras…

And finally, the already traumatized girls are called in to interview with the police, one-by-one.

They’re grilled on exactly what went down (i.e. who hit whom with what). Corn Fed says she didn’t see anyone get hit with a bottle, and the police remind her that she’ll be named an accessory to the assault if she’s lying.

Meanwhile…

…Chance and Real rejoice over the girls’ intimidation and fear of incarceration.

They’re all, “Gotcha!” Eh, you’re losing me here, boys. Although this challenge is pretty brilliantly constructed to achieve its goal (to separate the real ride-or-die girls from the less loyal ones), it comes with a heavy emotional cost. Couldn’t they just have played therapeutic games of trust? Fall into my arms and that whole bit?

But no, deception is, apparently, more fun.

Cali takes no prodding to say that Real was the bottle-hitter.

Same with Milf, although she says it was an accident. The cops then make her do a sobriety test, which is fairy amusing and sinewy.

She reminds me of Madonna. Call this her I’m Breathalyzed moment.

Rabbit practically jumps at the chance to turn in Real. Bay Bay Bay, meanwhile…

…says she saw nothing. K.O. snitches, while Risky plays it much more like Bay Bay Bay and even gets kind of an attitude when pressed.

Apparently, a fake fight and interrogations are not enough of a charade because when the girls are finished being grilled, they get to watch their potential men being handcuffed.

In a scene out of a Scorsese flick or, I don’t know, Boy Georgoe’s personal life, K.O. rushes to embrace her handcuffed man.

And then the guys let the girls know that it was all a gag and the cops were, in fact, real cops who apparently have no problem teaching the ladies of reality TV that lying to the cops is the right thing to do, per the code of the streets vis a vis Real and Chance. Enough WTFs should follow that you may hear the sound of a hot air balloon deflating in your head.

While some of the girls take the opportunity to take out their frustration via what amounts to foreplay…

…others aren’t feeling so amorous.

K.O. is having a hard time coping, as she stands outside the living room, sobbing. She’s called back in to be told what she did wrong by the always-sensitive souls of Real and Chance. They go through all the girls and basically, for lying the best, Bay Bay Bay and Risky win.

K.O. is in a rage, though, and ready to make good on her promise from earlier this episode: she’s leaving the competition.

She packs and wheels her suitcase through the house. As if out of empathy, her suitcase is dramatic by proxy, its handle breaking as she attempts to make it up steps and out the door.

Outside, she’s confronted by Real, who once again asks her to stay. “I’m not ready for it!” “I’m not strong!” “Maybe I like it too much!” are just some of the excuses K.O. shrieks at real for her imminent departure. She cites her failure in today’s challenge, but Real points out that she’s here to learn. I can’t wait for next week’s shiv-fashioning teach!

In the middle of all this, Bay Bay Bay comes out to complain about the attention Real’s giving to K.O.

She won the date and this is her time, damn it. Someone should explain to her that the actual date hasn’t yet started. Although if all she needs is a little booze and time spent with Real to keep her happy, hey. Saves him some cash.

We see K.O. stalking off…

…while Bay Bay Bay continues to rant.

“Have fun! You can’t even have fun, ’cause motherf***ers wanna run out on you! You can’t have fun. You can’t have fun in your own house. This bitch got jokes. He can be happy, and you can’t.” Another reason Real might not be able to have fun is that you’re screaming in his face!

Meanwhile, K.O. is seen sneaking back into the house. Conviction to die for!

In the name of fun, perhaps, Bay Bay Bay prepares a romantic bath for Real, who attends wearing a lot of clothes.

He calls this scene a “gangsta’s paradise.” Without Michelle Pfeiffer? Pfft. I think not.

Anyway, further attempts at connecting with Real romantically are made by Bay Bay Bay…

Lady, his eyes aren’t even smiling…

But whatever. It’s good to have a goal to work toward, I guess.

The next day finds the guys and their truth-bending winners on their date. They meet with one…

…you may remember him from Charm School. This week’s episode, no less. Pretty soon, he’ll be able to add “Reality Guest” under “Clothing Designer.” How fun is that?

And how fun is this date that finds them trying on brightly colored clothing with brighter logos scattered everywhere?

So fun that it can be summed up in two screen shots.

Either Audigier is really optimistic, or he just doesn’t get how this reality TV thing works. He’s got plenty of time to learn and become embittered, though. So that’s something.

Back at the ranch…

…Rabbit’s clearly over all of this. She sick of putting forth effort and seeing none come from Chance. I mean, do you know how many guys hit on her a day? Millions, she says. There aren’t even enough seconds to cover her gentlemen callers. That sounds exhausting. Regarding Chance, she adds, “Who the hell are you? You’re not Diddy. You’re not Jay-Z.”

While venting is fun, it’s also useful…

…for your competitors, that is. Rabbit’s smart enough that she probably told this to K.O. so that it would get out. Her screen time this episode, after all, has been lacking.

Chance finally confronts her while he sits in the tub.

She calls Chance out for acting like he owns the world, but never meeting people halfway. In the end he actually concedes that she has some good points. When we he introduced to reason, and why were we not notified?

Oh, and Real and K.O. have another chat about her leaving, which ends with a kiss.

This show should be called Real Chance of Tongue because there always is one.

Anyway, that kiss sealed nothing. At elimination Real, rocks a style suggesting he robbed Rick James’ grave…

…while Chance announces that his three ladies are safe and what’s more: it’s time to pack their bags to meet his parents. Corn Fed, again, is beside herself with excitement.

The shut-ins. Won’t someone think of the shut-ins?

Corn Fed, by the way, is the first girl to get Real’s chain. Then goes Milf. It comes down to Bay Bay Bay and K.O. and, duh, K.O.’s going home.

She explains that she’s had a wall up for a while now, and duh again: she needed something to scale in all of her attempts at escape.

Related content
Real Chance of Love show page
Real Chance of Love videos and extras