Rock Of Love Charm School Recap – Finale – Charm School’s Rockin’ New You

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Ladies and gentlemen, we have winner!

She’s cool, calm and now gas-free. And that’s a good thing…?

Here we are. Face to face.

A trio of silver spoons. By the end of this recap, only one will be polished enough to nab the honor of Charm School graduate. The others? Back in the reality drawer to rust. Lacey’s hair color suggests that she’s on her way.

Not to spoil her mid-episode elimination or anything!

Anyway, commandment:

Sharon has with her Sid, who runs Rock and Wrap It Up, which totally sounds like a safe-sex advocacy campaign.

But no, silly. A leather daddy extolling the virtues of condoms? As if! Rock and Wrap It Up is actually an organization that feeds the homeless with food left behind in dressing rooms after concerts. A brilliantly simple idea.

Sid is, in fact, full of brilliantly simple ideas.

Too. Many. Joke. Possibilities. Considering. The. Cast. And. Leather.

I give.

Anyway, as the girls soak in all this info…

…both Destiney and Brandi M., interview about growing up on welfare and their humanity seriously just rushes in. That’s pretty crazy, this being a reality show and all.

Sharon explains to the girls how this lesson will apply to their final challenge: they’re going to be setting up booths on Hollywood Boulevard (getting…harder…to…resist…”giving with your head” joke…), and asking the public for donations (harder still!). The girl who grosses the highest in donations will be exempt from expulsion and automatically enter into the Final 2. However, Sharon explains that “working alone is a lot tougher than working on a team.” And more boring! For that reason, the girls will be teamed with…

…expelled students, who just happen to be their arch-nemeses! Heather’s here to help Lacey.

Megan’s here for Brandi M., though her boobs are here for all the horny boys (and girls!) watching.

And Brandi C., is here to help her spitee, Destiney. After all, nothing goes with charity better than institutionalized drama! Sharon announces that she hopes the girls can put aside their differences and focus on the task at hand. Lies! If ever there were an antithesis to the Care Bear stare

…surely that is it.

Sharon gives the girls 10 minutes to strategize. Despite wondering if Heather was going to give homeless people a lap dance (which is taking a jab at the service industry, and so not cool), Lacey seems amenable to working with Heather.

Heather kind of murmurs, “I don’t wanna fight. It’s charity,” in the most Valerie Cherish way imaginable. The two and a half seconds she’s spent outside Charm School seem to have replenished her capacity for endearment.

Speaking of endearment…

…there’s none to be found here. Megan interviews that she’s here to sabotage, and recommends dressing Brandi M., up as a homeless person. I feel like before, she would have just called Brandi M., homeless, so her assumption that Brandi would need to undergo some sort of transformation to look homeless seems like progression. We’re all growing and learning in Charm School.

The girls set up their begging booths on Hollywood Boulevard.

The scene is so Pretty Woman, I can smell the vinyl boots. Only a Lotus and Cinda-f***in’-rella would be needed to really complete the picture. Anyway, the girls are on the lookout for specific items, which have all been assigned dollar values by the judges (or whoever).

The begging game begins.

Brandi C., kind of just waves her paper in the air at first and goes, “Charity.”

No one obliges. Perhaps they think it’s a personal request and not on behalf of, you know, the homeless.

Megan immediately gets to sabotaging. She has someone put donated water in the wrong place entirely and she has a store owner place some items in Lacey’s collection bin. Brandi M., not being an idiot, sees what’s happening and corrects the problem.

At least in part: Megan gleefully reports that she didn’t get all of the wayward items. Not content with simplicity, Megan has a multi-pronged conniving plan in place. Her next initiative is to collect pens, the item on the list that yields the least amount of pay-off.

And even though she’s totally just doing this to be a jerk, collecting pens is no small feat. You know how possessive people get about your pens. I mean, would you give yours up to a woman wearing a dress with a built-in bellybutton window?

And then there is Lacey.

We see her doing relatively well, but that all goes to hell as time goes on and more people reject her pleas for charity.

“You can’t even buy one toothbrush to help a homeless person? You don’t like homeless people? Is that what it is?” I mean, does anyone like homeless people? We may pity them or even empathize, but if we actually liked them, chances are they wouldn’t be homeless anymore, you know? Lacey also berates a woman walking into a bike shop with, “You’re gonna go buy yourself a bike, but you don’t care about homeless people? Nice, lady.”

This woman points out the folly in yelling at people as means of asking for their help. Instead of taking a second to realize that you catch more flies with honey than raving, Lacey only rages harder. This whole crazy-activist-lady-on-the-street thing is coming waaaaay too naturally to her. Keep the red paint and baby seals away from this one.

Meanwhile…

Megan poses with fans.

Sometimes, so do her boobs. This seems like an occupational hazard if ever there were. In contrast, we see Brandi M., hustling and eventually securing a winter coat from some weirdo who’s wearing it in Los Angeles. In May. WTF?

Brandi C., meanwhile, calls out to people: “Do you guys have a minute for charity? It’s for charity.” At least she’s thorough. She also asks a family if they “really need” the stroller they’re pushing their child in. Perhaps Brandi C., believes that strollers are as expendable and frivolous as common sense.

Back at the house, Riki and Daniella reveal the results.

First up is Lacey, whose collection added up to…

She’s happy enough to dance in response.

That’s the true philanthropy of the situation. Money is temporary; dances most often seen being done by drunk aunts at weddings are forever, thanks to the animated gif. A fine invention it is, that animated gif.

Destiney took in…

…which bums her out. Although it’s important to note that she and Brandi C., collected 66 tampons. Thank god — we wouldn’t want the homeless bleeding on their clean white pants, right?

Finally, there is Brandi M., who would seem to have been sabotaged by Megan. Indeed, Brandi M.’s partner-cum-adversary collected a total of 53 ballpoint pens. And she lost them all in her weave. Anyway, Riki reveals Brandi M.’s final tally and it is…

Brandi M., wins! She’s so excited and Megan is so…

…not. At least what you see is what you get with Megan. Here, see closer, get closer:

I love her “Foiled again…for the first time!” vibe.

So Brandi M., is safe at tonight’s elimination, while Destiney and Lacey will be called to the carpet. From there, Riki berates Lacey for yelling at people in the challenge. He calls it the “biggest mistake in Charm School history,” as though this show had existed for more than a month at this point in shooting. And really, it wasn’t bigger than cameltoe or Raven’s wig-weave. It wasn’t even as big a mistake as enrolling Kristy Joe and Jessica who supposedly didn’t need Charm School in the first place. Just following the show’s logic! Sharon says she understands Lacey’s furor. How…foreshadowing.

Destiney, on the other hand, was nonchalant during the day’s lesson, according to Sharon. Destiney doesn’t understand what she’s talking about, but maybe because she wasn’t paying attention. Destiney lashes out, calling out the season’s worth of bad behavior from Lacey.

Lacey argues that her passion was community outreach, whereas Destiney’s was T-shirt designing, which is selfish. Maybe Destiney’s definition of outreach includes outfitting. The only difference is some cotton, you know? Lacey pleads to stay, claiming that she’s changing and happier. However, her behavior today proved that she isn’t changing — when she didn’t get what she wanted, she grabbed. Lacey is going home.

Lacey gets ranty during her exit interview, assuring us she’s keeping the Evil Lacey inside of her for people like that non-giving bitch on Hollywood Boulevard today. Is she doing it out of vigilante duty or in hopes of a possible spin-off? Only time will tell.

That means we have a Top 2!

God, girls, don’t look so exited.

The next day, they sit outside and discuss their status as Top 2. They’re surprised but happy to be there. You’d think they weren’t on a reality show with all this original sentiment bubbling to the surface.

They receive a note from Sharon inviting them to her place for lunch. They’re so excited. Meanwhile, their Top 2 counterparts in previous Rock of Love seasons got to go to Cabo and all they had to do was accept Bret Michaels’ tongue in their throats. Doesn’t seem fair.

They get to Sharon’s beach house and are amazed by its beauty.

Sharon says she’s rarely at this house, but that Jack uses it for his “love den.” I’m pretty sure that’s none of her business and I’m certain it’s none of mine — don’t fill my head with images, lady. Anyway, they take a nice walk on the beach…

…and then they eat lunch, during which Brandi and Destiney beg Sharon to tell of her courtship with Ozzy, as though Behind the Music and the E! True Hollywood Story never existed. Seriously girls, get a TiVo. Or Wikipedia. During this meal, they talk about their plans. Destiney wants to start an eco-friendly clothing line or open an Ed Hardy store in Maui. Why hasn’t anyone thought of that before? Thank god for the Charm School challenges, inspiring one franchise at a time. Sharon gives them a final assignment: write speeches about why they think they should win. Back at home, the girls get to work:

When that’s done, the girls receive another note, notifying them that Sharon has chosen their final expulsion wardrobe.

And actually, she did a great job, as both of the girls haven’t looked better all season.

Destiney’s dress is especially flattering, particularly in the décolletage area. Thank you Charm School, for teaching me what that word means and for making me care about it more than I ever thought I could.

One last commandment:

Aw. I think I’ll miss the glimmers most of all.

The girls read their speeches. First up is Destiney, who used to get angry when she drank and used naked cartwheels to make herself feel cool (damn Heather!). Her father’s death made her realize how precious life is, however. There were times toward the beginning of this series that she reverted back the old Destiney, but her non-violent reaction to Brandi C.’s spit showed her and the rest of the world (or at least, the segment of it that watches this show) that she’s changing. Now she knows she doesn’t need to use her body to get what she wants. A design passion has awoken and she’s become a lady. In that order!

Brandi M., on theh other hand puked, burped, farted, did porn and stripped. She doesn’t say if she did it all at once, but let’s hope not. She’s finally figured herself out to the point where she doesn’t even need her note cards! She tears them up and speaks from the heart, explaining that she didn’t used to care about herself, but thanks to Charm School, has learned to stand up and be a classy lady. She won’t lock herself in a room for days, for you see, negative Brandi has died!

It’s time to crown the graduate or however they do in these parts. Sharon steps forward, revealing a dress that is almost too vast for the frame.

It’s kind of like if a fish mated with a garbage bag and then devoted the life of its offspring to being fashion.

Sharon sort of waves the diploma under their noses.

And she quickly hands it over to Brandi M.

Brandi M., is the first Rock of Love Charm School grad!

She and Destiney embrace and it’s as calm and good-natured as you’d expect from previously wild women.

Before she leaves, Daniella offers Destiney an internship at her jeans company, Frankie B. It isn’t $100,000 or even $100, but hey, it’s better than nothing!

Brandi M., celebrates outside.

It’s all a big relief/release for her, and one that doesn’t require her to say, “Excuse me” after. What a beautiful change, indeed.

Related content
Rock of Love Charm School show page
Charm School videos and extras
Brandi M. – Post-Show Interview
Destiney – Post-Show Interview
Lacey – Post-Show Interview

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  1. cranky says:

    i wonder when vh1 will make any kind of a peep about the reunion show throwdown between megan & sharon? i’m expecting my post will be deleted in 3, 2, 1…

  2. Rich says:

    No matter what has been said, or how she has acted in the past this young lady surely deserves it!!! She set herself apart from others in many circumstances. We all have done our share of stuff we aren’t proud to share, but when it was said and done she was the choice I made too!!!

  3. Kelly says:

    I thought it was a no brainer Sharon, Destiney should have won. Brandie M is a good actress who put on a good show..tossing her speech and saying she’s going to speak from the heart. Destiney’s speech was from the heart. Brandie watched and saw how good D’s speech was and knew she had to do something so she put on a show. Mark my words Brandie is trash and she will use that money to continue in her trashyness. I know that Destiney will use all that she has learned and change her life for the better.Glad D got the internship I know she will ROCK!

    Best wishes Destiney you are the true winner!!

  4. Bethany says:

    Brandi – congrats! Hadn’t heard anything about you since school… glad things are starting to look up for you. :)

  5. ayannna says:

    wonder what happens between megan and sharon

  6. tree says:

    Lacey is a psychopath! She’s sick in the head and doesn’t even know it or at least pretends not to. And that’s worse. I will never turn my back to her, she’ll kill someone!… did u see her face when she was about to be eliminated and Sharon told her to look her in the eye? She looked like pure, sick, evil… I was hoping she’d die, but that’s too harsh and uncalled for. So i’ll settle for never ever having to see her face ever again on TV and hopefully not in real life! She’s a mess! Lacey = spawn of satan! … they are trying to censor me! they won’t let me say how I feel, yet they continue to allow the trash to take place for all to see! If this isn’t posted I’m going to stop watching Vh1 and i’m going to make a group on facebook calling them out! and that’s just a start. If you don’t want to know what your viewers think- get rid of this! you all are proving to me that you paid Lacey to be on that show… just like new york! fake! fake *`^^(!^#&%`%)@* ties! fake lips! Fake hollywood crap!

  7. tree says:

    Lacey is a psychopath! She’s sick in the head and doesn’t even know it or at least pretends not to. And that’s worse. I will never turn my back to her, she’ll kill someone!… did u see her face when she was about to be eliminated and Sharon told her to look her in the eye? She looked like pure, sick, evil… I was hoping she’d die, but that’s too harsh and uncalled for. So i’ll settle for never ever having to see her face ever again on TV and hopefully not in real life! She’s a mess! Lacey = spawn of satan!

  8. tree says:

    The ‘red head’ is a psychopath! She’s sick in the head and doesn’t even know it or at least pretends not to. And that’s worse. I will never turn my back to her, she’ll kill someone!… did u see her face when she was about to be eliminated and Sharon told her to look her in the eye? She looked like pure, sick, evil… I was hoping she’d die, but that’s too harsh and uncalled for. So i’ll settle for never ever having to see her face ever again on TV and hopefully not in real life! She’s a mess! She is… spawn of satan!

  9. Kelly says:

    Ahh Tree psycho obsess much?? Although I do agree with most of what your saying. Lacey is waked. Anyway saw some previews for Brets new Rock of Silicone show and don’t blow a gasket but ta da…the Red Headed one is in it.

    My MPV is Magan. I love her. My next Maki Roll will be dedicated to you (Magan).Best wishes Megan

  10. ron says:

    good job brandie m we are so proud of u kepp it up u will go more farther than before

  11. boozey2 says:

    I love love love these recaps but you have a grammatical error/typo issue that happens really often, and is a real pet peeve of mine. It’s putting a comma after using a proper name and then the verb or whatever. E.g., you wrote “So Brandi M., is safe” — but it should be: “So Brandi M. is” — no need for a comma after a proper name unless you’re offsetting a clue. (E.g., “So Brandi M., who used to puke, burp and do porn all at once, won”).

    Every time I read your blog–which I rely on for all my recaps, interviews, and dish–I really really hate seeing this typo — you’re such a good writer, it really is a blight on your wit and skillz.

  12. Jes says:

    I must agree with boozey. Of course, I AM a grammar nazi, so it’s no surprise that it bothers me. I, like everyone else, make the occasional error, but that is an error that is pretty consistent with you. However, I do love these recaps, so I have been overlooking it for quite some time now.

  13. lizzy says:

    man i’m so happy for brandi m

  14. lizzy says:

    i would not be able to go touw all the fights

  15. XTw!TcHX says:

    i really liked this episode. It is so…i dont know the word… it is very sisterly. (I couldn’t find a better word) I mean. There’s fights that go on. And then makeups. I even cried once or twice. (I’m a big mushball :) It’s just like me and my sister. We fight alot. (i mean ALOT) but we always make up after word. then we just act like we’re best friends.

    keep on rockin charm school
    ~twitch

  16. Jenna says:

    Ahahaha I laughed so hard when I saw Megan’s face and how Brandi M was soo happy. Megan has to learn she’s not better then everyone else but I don’t think she ever will learn that. I’m glad Brandi M won!! I’m happy that it was her and Destiney that were in the finals!!! :D

  17. young and foolish says:

    They should have a charm school for the flavor of love 3 girls, with the real chance of love girls, and rock of love bus girls in one charm school together! How intense would that be?

  18. Stash says:

    I still think Megan won the episode with her awesomeness.

  19. I HATE SHARON O. says:

    I HATE EVERYTHING ABOUT SHARON. SHE’S A LOSER CELEB LIKE HER HUSBAND. BOTH SCANKS THAT SHOULD BE PUT OUT TO PASTURE

  20. The Girl from the Ghetto says:

    I am glad she won. She did seem to calm a bit down, esp. since her ROL days. I will never forget her puking at dinner through her fingers next to Bret, too funny!

    Anyone who loves Charm School or Rock of Love is always welcome to come visit my blog.

    http://www.thegirlfromtheghetto.wordpress.com

  21. Darla81love says:

    I am happy for Brandi she deserved it, I wish her and Destiny the best. You can really see the change in both of them, Destiny I am sorry about your father, may the memories you have of him give you the strengh to get through the hard times. Brandi I hope you share some of your money with your girl Destiny, the respect and love you have for each other showed alot on this last episode.

  22. anita says:

    i loved this show…I really liked both Brandi M. and Destiney…..I wish they both could have won!
    They both are beautiful and amazing!
    I hope there are more shows with the rock of love women from 1 and 2. Would love to see these two and kristi joe again…On another note, I couldn’t help but notice….in Megan’s photos here…did anyone else notice, but in that little dress….her boobs looked kind of….saggy….
    one more thing…i would love to see a real and chance type show featuring the Entertainer and Twelve-pack….i think that would be so funny….Entertainer of Love….Twelve-packin”….

  23. sunshinemay says:

    Brandi M. was my first pick and Destiney my second. They both deserved to be there and they rocked it. Brandi M. changed so much since ROL. Megan is such a B***H for trying to not help the needy, glad it slapped her down a bit. She still needs more and whoever said her boobs sagged was right on the $$$. And Lacey did deserves an award for faking her so called “growth”, some people can never change and she dd not NEED the moy anyway.

    WAY TO GO BRANDI M. Keep up the good work!

  24. Jenny says:

    YAY! I’m so freakin’ happy that Brandi M. won!!! I was torn at the end because I think Destiney has come a long way too, and has embraced the teachings of Charm School, but I think Brandi made the biggest transformation. I always thought she’d be a cool girl to grab a beer with and she didn’t lose that appeal in Charm School. She’s classy yet down to earth so she totally deserved it. Congratulations to both!

  25. PAIGE says:

    She soo deserved too win.I’m so proud of her!Even though I don’t know her.She out of all made the most changes.I think it was really cool to give Destiney the internship also. They both improved themselves a lot.I hope Brandi don’t wast the money,it will go fast if not invested!! I would like a chance to have someone show me the rite path.Most of the girls were only there to be on TV and Megan and the other slut PUT SOME CLOTHES ON!!!No one wants a trashy broke B*t*h!!!!!!And Brandy C.quite drinking your fat!!!! Anyway Congrats to both!You deserved it!!!
    PAIGE

  26. genne says:

    i am so glad lacey is not the winner

  27. D. Lawson says:

    For some odd reason the final tabs for the charity donation challenge don’t seem correct. Maybe im wrong, but if tampons equaled two dollars, and if Brandi C. collected 66 then 66 x 2 = 132. So i must of made an error some were. It doesn’t make since because they said that Brandi C. and Destiney only raised $96.85. Which is $35.15 less than what they should of raised on tampons alone.

  28. Jen says:

    I’m glad it was down to these two girls. They both were very deserving of winning.

  29. thugbonee says:

    I got an idea for a new vh1 show

    Ten girls from three seasons of flavor of love and ten girls from three seasons of rock of love who think life is all about parties and celebrity events, they will be going to a place where they are whipped into shape. Is it “CHARM SCHOOL”? NO! its a place called “boot camp”. and the host of the show will be none other Than Tiffany “New York” Pollard. The girls will be doing crazy excercises each week if a girl doesn’t follow the task they are being told then they will go home. There will be Two Teams “Team Rock” and “Team Flavor”. In the end one girl will win, will it be a Flavor of love girl? or a Rock of love girl?

    Flavor Of Love 1,2,3:
    Bootz (season 2)
    Buckeey (season 2)
    Pumkin (season 1)
    Shy (season 3)
    Buckwild (season 2)
    Thing 1&Thing 2 (season 3)
    Goldie (season 1)
    Ice (season 3)
    Toastee (season 2)
    Like Dat (season 2)

    Rock Of Love 1,2,3:
    Heather (season 1)
    Nikki (season 3)
    Brandi C. (season 1)
    Roxy (season 2)
    Megan (season 2)
    Farrah (season 3)
    Lacey (season 1)
    Kristia (season 1)
    Inna (season 2)
    Angelique (season 2)

    If this show is made best beileve there will be catfights, just to think putting Flavor of love and Rock of love girls in the same house, now thats gonna be interesting and the host being New York! WOW!