Real Chance Of Love Recap – Episode 10 – Ain’t Nothing Goin’ On But the ‘Rents

Rabbit has one thing to say about the outcome of this episode…

We agree. We miss her already!

We begin where we left off: with Risky and Milf en route to Chance and Real’s hotel room in Palm Springs. Providing the soundtrack to this journey are Risky’s demands that go, “Walk, bitch…walk ahead of me!” It’s like satellite radio with attitude in the place of buttons.

Once in the room, Risky rushes to ask Real…

…”Real, did ya tell Milf I sucked Chance’s d***?”

Real says he did not. He then recaps in an interview that Milf accused Risky of “bobbin’ for apples with my brother.” I know Real’s imagery is devoted to Risky’s alleged neck motion, but the other side of it is that it makes Chance’s penis sound irregular.

The Risky-Milf bickering continues. At one point, Risky swizzles her head around Milf like a bee around potato salad at a picnic…

Or maybe like a boxer who’s playing up the homoerotic nature of his craft. There’s more face-getting-up-in that results in Risky lightly pushing Milf and then asking Milf why she’s bumpin’ up on her like that. Because she’s into you, Risky! Duh!

The other girls flood in.

And really, what the hell took them so long? Their ringside seats were totally going wasted. In the middle of the chaos, Milf demands that Real send her home or talk to her alone. Real remarks…

You’re just now feeling this? Really, Real?

Once alone, Real reveals that he now feels that he can’t trust Milf. “You snitched on me,” he says. So that means he did say something regarding Risky’s Hallo/ween-themed activities, then? He’s admitting it now in the vague way that all types of conviction manifest on these shows? What?

For her part, Milf doesn’t feel protected, appreciated or respected.

Real, on the other hand, has spandex to keep him feeling at least protected.

They soon find themselves in an embrace. Real can’t stay mad at Milf, for he has a “doggone connection” with her.

A connection that is doggone because soon it will be hid like a bone.

Elimination! Before, Bay Bay Bay interviews that Milf is a “dirty trollop.” Is that like a dirty scallop? All gritty like?

She and Corn Fed clasp hands and bow their heads, since theirs is a solemn bond…

…until next episode, that is, when those hands will be around each other’s throats. But no time to worry about Real’s ultimate choice now!

Real’s slaying of Milf is merciful: he calls her up and tells her they have a bond and his parents like her, but he can’t give her the chain as she “flip-flopped” on him and he’s no longer able to trust her. They share a parting embrace.

As she leaves, Milf waves in the direction of Real’s parents and her now former competitors, saying, “It was nice to meet you.”

Nice, huh? Not difficult or tumultuous or agonizing but nice? Nice.

Goodbye Milf. We don’t know what we’ll do without you in the weeks between this show and I Love Money 2. We’ll have to muddle through somehow.

Guess who won’t be muddling, though?

Bay Bay Bay looks so excited about Milf’s departure that she might bite someone.

Excitement is all around, actually, as the Chance girls get their Stallionaire Mail the next day, which notifies them that heights are on the menu for today’s activity.

Risky is, apparently, a very big fan of heights. This is because she is a superhero when she isn’t on reality TV. True fact! How do you think she got her Batman villain-esque name?

They meet up with Chance, who announces that he’ll be taking the girls and his parents to the “highest peak in Palm Springs, man.” He seems excited about this until actually faced with said highest peak, man.

We flash back to Chance’s hot-air-balloon freak-out on I Love New York…

…which not only reminds us that Chance has a fear of heights, but he also has a lot to live up to in the portrayal of that fear. He does not disappoint.

He uses squatting as a coping mechanism. When that doesn’t work, he resorts to the Spider-Man method.

And then he just kind of hangs limply.

How do you like them apples?

They finally reach the top of this mountain or whatever, where the first thing we see them doing is dining. Rabbit notes that she feels she has the best chance at nabbing Chance, as Cali looks like a whore and Risky is ghetto. She says this as though those traits are distinct. This is VH1 for crying out loud!

Chance’s mom polls the girls on they’d be good for her Kamal. Risky says she can be crazy with Chance, but also calm. Well, that covers everything, now doesn’t it? Also, on account of dealing with her older brothers, she’s used to “the rap thing.” At least she’s speaking with words a mother could understand! Cali wants to be a support system for Chance’s big heart. Rabbit is strong and independent. As she’s explaining that her mom had cancer three times, Chance becomes distracted by a woodland creature.

He’s so entranced by a freaking squirrel that he rises to his feet.

His mom tells him to sit down. He does. Awww.

Then comes time for one-on-ones. For Rabbit’s, she and Mama RealChance will spend time in the high point’s souvenir shop. Oh, girls and their shopping! What’s next? Leisurely sightseeing and chocolate? Wait, don’t answer that.

Rabbit basically cleans up the whore and ghetto assessments of her competitors and presents them to Chance’s mother. On Risky, Chance’s mom asks, “Is she…ghetto?” Rabbit bows her head and nods. Everyone’s so solemn this episode! You’d think something died…beyond these people’s senses of shame, that is. Something more than usual. Rabbit also reveals that Risky’s brother is in jail, which should be a minor point, but as it turns out, is much bigger. Sigh.

Next up is Cali, who visits a lookout area with Chance’s mom, who is interested in seeing snakes.

Well, you’ve picked the right equipment for snake-viewing, lady. Lemme tell ya!

During their brief, quiet and, yes, solemn chat, Cali reveals that Rabbit once went out on a date with Real. This should be a non-issue as it was episodes ago (months for us viewers!) but of course, it will become a total issue. Sigh squared.

For Chance’s part, he’s able to scare up a snake for mommy.

And he didn’t even need a telescope! What a guy!

Finally, there is Risky, who speaks to Chance’s mom over chocolate ice cream.

Risky notes her soothing effects on Chance’s temper before being confronted with Rabbit’s reveal. She’s forced to talk about her jailed brother and she tears up and it’s actually entirely humanizing and completely to her advantage. Although it’s also the opportunity to get attitudinal, so that means win-win, essentially…

Rabbit and Risky bicker in front of the mirror as they’re getting ready for the evening’s dinner. Risky doesn’t think Rabbit had any place revealing something so personal. She isn’t seeing the forest from the trees (or the coat from the Rabbits), but whatever. Bay Bay Bay, whose rantaholism is engaged by the strife, takes the opportunity to basically say to Rabbit exactly what Risky just did.

Regarding Chance’s attraction to Risky, Bay Bay Bay adds, “He feeling her more.” Rabbit just kind of blinks at her and goes, “OK.” Haha! I bet Bay Bay Bay has never, ever come up against such adversity before! Silence is a deadly killer.

Dinner time. Cali greets the women she hopes will one day be her in-laws as though they already are.

The girls reiterate why they think they’d be good for Chance upon his father’s request. God, dude, just watch the footage back because these half-prepared essays seem less and less convincing the more they’re told. Chance’s mom brings up Rabbit’s flip-flopping, and Rabbit totally lies, saying that her kiss with Real was something she didn’t like.

Ah yes, a totally tortured pucker, for sure.

The topic turns to Rabbit’s general worth to Chance. Risky doesn’t think she’s strong enough.

Their bicker intensifies to a squabble, but it doesn’t spill over into a brawl. Still, it is uncomfortable, as evidenced by Chance’s shifty reaction.

Dinner leads to a worthless deliberation with Chance and his parents, in which they hand back to Chance the decision of which girl to eliminate, as if it were ever anyone’s but his in the first place.

It all leads to ELIMINATION!

Chance goes through his girls one-by-one, cleaning his scallops, so to speak. He needs a “good wife” (which, really?) not a “good toy,” so he’s fearful that his connection with Cali may not go beyond sexual. Good on Chance for not just thinking with his appled***! Is Risky too volatile? Rabbit’s beautiful, educated, sexy wifey material, but Chance has decided to hold her past flirtation with Real against her and for that, she will be going home.

“It’s hard to find a girl like me,” she says regarding the mistake Chance just made. It’s even harder to find a rabbit like her. Real talk!

At last the guys announce that the finale will find them taking the remaining ladies to…Puerto Rico!

The girls are seriously like, “Yay.” The guys want a bigger reaction of excitement out of them and yet, not even dancing can draw it out.

While hilarious, the girls’ collective non-reaction is also kind of unfair. I mean, wouldn’t you be excited for a trip that the boys are already making seem so…

…interesting?

Related content
Real Chance of Love show page
Real Chance of Love videos and extras