Rock Of Love Bus Recap – Episode 3 – Get The Puck Out

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Oh, Bret. Will you continue to stay here and rock my LOL?

Rise and shine, oatmeal pancakes!

We’ve got a show to cover!

As the girls check out of that weird theme hotel that they spent the night in last episode, Ashley underscores the collective disdain for Brittaney: “She when to the Alien Invasion room for a reason: because aliens need to abduct her fat ass and bring her to somewhere else because we don’t want her.” In the event of alien unavailability, I wonder if Real and Chance would do? Close enough, right?

On the bus is information on the girls’ next destination.

The “Tenacious 12″ are heading to Champaign, Il. Everyone is thrilled when they hear the name of the town, but no one more than Kelsey who gushes, “I have no clue where Champaign is, but all I know is it’s my favorite drink, so we’re going to the bottom of the bottle, y’know? I’m excited.” As if they haven’t yet reached the bottom of the bottle already, both literally and figuratively, by agreeing to appear on this show!

When the girls’ bus stops, it drops them off at an ice rink. There, they see Bret who creepily beckons them.

In a fit of slips, giggles and jiggles, the girls make their way across the ice to him.

On the way over, one notes that she doesn’t “do good on ice.” But then again, she probably doesn’t do good on traction, either, knowing this group.

Bret announces that he has devised a challenge that will engage his inner sports fan and nurturer. Kelsey and the cud she has wedged in her mouth couldn’t be more excited.

Yes, it’s another iteration of the Save Baby Bret game of last season, except this time it’s on ice.

The girls will play against the University of Illinois Women’s Hockey Club, as well as a “good friend” of Bret’s. As she skates up, someone notes, “I’ve seen that hair before.” Probably on a maxi pad. For you see, today’s special guest is none other than…

Lacey Connor! Apparently, Evil Lacey is gracing us today. But then, so is…

…Disheveled Lacey. She seriously looks unhinged. Like, more so than usual!

The girls begin practicing. There’s a lot of this…

…which is actually the real reason for the challenge. Obviously!

Farrah mumbles something about the girls being professionals or not or…something, and adds, “What the French?” I believe this is the third straight episode, in which she’s uttered what is obviously her catchphrase. I’d warn her with the Quimby Family rule of comedy (first time’s funny, second time’s silly, third time’s a spanking), but she might enjoy that too much. But seriously, Farrah. Change up the lingo. You seem to have so much potential. Please don’t become the living talking doll that is Tim Gunn.

While Kelsey skates around the rink with the grace of an extra in The Cutting Edge 4: Ice, Ice, Scabies, Beverly seems to be all thumbs where her skates her concerned.

Her incompetence is noted so often by so many that it’s clear that (SPOILER ALERT) this is all a ruse.

Enough of this. Bret decides that it’s time to divide the girls into teams. Ashley, Natasha and Maria are his captain choices. When he calls up Ashley, he encourages her with, “Come on, hot mess!” She doesn’t seem to mind being referred to as such. Glad we’re all on the same page!

The teams are divided this way: Kelsey, Marcia and Farrah are on Ashley’s team; Brittanya, Mindy and Taya are on Natasha’s (when Natasha chooses Brittanya first, she explains that they’re BFFs and that this way they can “suck together,” which a Rock of Love Bus-approved activity if ever there were); finally, Melissa, Brittaney and Beverly are on Maria’s team. Instead of a normal two-goal hockey set-up, there are three goals of varying distances from the center of the rink that the girls must attempt to score in. The farther the goal, the more points it’s worth.

Natasha’s Blue Team is up first. Highlights of their round include Brittanya’s bleeding pierced navel, a decapitated Baby Bret…

…and a possibly concussed Natasha…

And here’s a close-up, possibly concussed Natasha.

Bret notes that Natasha dusted herself right off, thus taking it like a man. Hey Mickey, you’re so…confusing.

The team ends up with four points, all courtesy of Mindy.

Next up is Ashley’s Black Team, which ends up with just two points because Kelsey only goes for the one-point goal.

After scoring the first one in the one-pointer, they should have gone for a more valuable goal, since, as Farrah notes, the Blue Team has already scored 4. She adds mega-awesomely, “Oh piss!” Now there is the catchphrase potential that I knew she had! This girl, I’m tellin’ ya. This girl’s a star.

As the Pink Team gets ready for their to-be-terrible-except-not-at-all round on the ice, Farrah yells at them, “You guys suck like a Hoover!” Looks like someone’s keen on joining the Writer’s Guild!

Except, they don’t suck like a Hoover at all. They glide like a Zamboni, thanks to Beverly’s scheme to be underestimated. They score five points immediately, winning the date.

To this, Farrah, of course, has something to say…

I don’t know if she’s a genius or the second coming of Boss Hogg or what, but with every utterance Farrah is fast becoming a gem in the Rock of Love crown.

But it isn’t all roses or biscuit eatin’ bulldogs — there’s been an injury. After falling face-first into the ice, Melissa worries that she popped her freakin’ implant. I didn’t know that was possible, but since it is, why is this the first time that it’s happening on this show? You’d think with all the bouncing and jiggling and mashing, someone would have had at least leakage by this point. I guess it’s just a testament to the fine doctors across the country working endlessly to make sure the men (and, let’s face it, ladies) of our fine nation are adequately aroused.

Anyway, Melissa is very concerned, so she speaks with…someone (?) about this:

Melissa doesn’t know the answer to this question. Come on, Melissa. Even Brandi C., knew enough to contrast her breasts to the “Gummi Bear” variety that was, I guess, all the rage back in 2007. Get it together!

Ashley, at least, offers some helpful insight: “If Melissa busted her breast implant playing hockey, then she got ‘em done in Tiajuana because $300 boob jobs pop for not reason, OK?” And thus, Ashley has introduced the world to the previously little-known concept of breast-implant snobbery. I know I noted it last week, but the collective innovation of these women cannot be understated. This show is just as educational as anything you see on National Geographic or Discovery. And buoyant, to boot!

The whole boob explosion ends with that official woman telling Melissa to…

Thank god for experts!

While Bret corrals the Pink Team for his date, something is afoul on the Pink Bus…

Oh, piss. Literally! Farrah’s not just slick-tongued, she’s also a prophet! Except not really. It’s actually maybe some food that Brittaney has been stashing in her bed.

If you think it’s bitchy of the girls to blame the bad smell on Brittaney, well…it isn’t bitchy if you’re right. Another possible source of the smell?

Sweaty socks, specifically those worn by the girls during the hockey game earlier. WTF? For real? Everyone’s disgusted and surprised at Brittaney’s stash. Best case scenario, it’s awfully fetishy. Worst case scenario: sweat voodoo.

Farrah’s hypothesis as to why Brittaney would need socks falls somewhere in the middle: she thinks Brittaney needs them as a cheap boob lift.

You lift…

…you stick a sock under…

…and voila! You have boobs just as perky as Farrah’s. Not that she knows this from experience or anything.

Meanwhile, Bret’s taken his four “dates” to a strip club, where they’re expected to perform. God, that would be like Bret taking me to the Viacom building for our date. Although, I’d happily blog that, so I guess I can relate. I have the heart of a stripper, you could say if you wanted. And I kind of want you to want to say that.

Everyone’s having a crotch-grindingly good time except for Beverly.

She interviews that she’s not feeling this. Yet, everyone wants her to join her counterparts on stage. Even Bret does. He tells her with more than a touch of irritation, “You’re here to party. Go!” Forcing someone to party? Why not go whole-hog and bust out the funnel and speculum?

Beverly eventually makes it to the stage, where she takes part in one of the most amazing screen shots I’ve ever captured.

I mean, if you can tear your eyes away from the invisible cloud of piss hanging above Bev, feast your eyes on Maria whose very exposed boob isn’t even the most exciting part of her ensemble. It’s the leashes she has attached to her collar and wrists. That way she can walk herself. She’s a retired model, did you know that? That’s what they do.

Anyway, Beverly informs us she is not going to drop her drawers in front of God, Bret Michaels and everybody, in that order. The other girls, however…

…will.

Here’s more of the same…

…and yet it loses none of its entertainment value, thanks to Beverly’s disdain and Maria’s self-bondage.

Also of note is a hilarious monologue from Brittaney regarding her past and how it’s just that and she’s moving on with her life except…

…she isn’t. Not that there’s anything wrong with it! It’s really watchable, in fact!

Intercut with this is a scene of the non-daters checking into a hotel and being made to drag their bags up stairs.

She probably ate the sweaty socks, too. That couldn’t have helped. You know how heavy cotton gets when it’s wet. Also, it’s hilarious that the spelling of Brittaney’s name is too complicated even for the subtitlers.

Back at the club, Bret decides to take Beverly aside to find out whassa goin’ on with her pissiness. She’s a rocker chick, for God’s sake! It shouldn’t be this hard to get her to show some skin and mime like she’s showing much more! Beverly explains that she doesn’t want to put herself out there like that because she has three (!) kids. Bret helpfully points out that her kids aren’t here. Well, they are if they stumble upon this show, which shouldn’t be too hard since it’s shown approximately 5,000 during any given week. They end up seemingly resolving things…

And yet, Bret interviews that Beverly’s kind of a buzzkill. Bret’s about as sensitive as a beer shotgun.

The girls meet the non-dates at the hotel, much to the glee of the Blontourage…

Yay! Now they get to be bitchy to Brittaney’s face instead of just doing so behind her back. They call her out on stealing the socks. She indignantly interviews that she did not steal the socks. She asked the rink’s owner and provider of them if she could have them and he said yes. So there! Never in her rant does she explain why she wanted them in the first place, which is kind of like getting belligerent when someone accuses you of stabbing someone with a dagger only to be all, “I did it with a butter knife!” Sometimes how just isn’t as important as why.

Why, Brittaney, why?

Anyway, she feels ostracized and picked on enough to go sleep in the bus.

That’s what she says, at least. My theory is that she was just hungry.

Meanwhile, in another room, Melissa talks loudly on a cell phone that she isn’t supposed to have.

Did it really take seeing him in person to realize that Bret wears extensions? Melissa adds that she doesn’t like Bret as a person. As someone who cared enough to dig up a $2 bill after watching Rock of Love 2, how on earth did she not know what she was getting into?

No matter. Natasha tells Farrah while Melissa is at the hospital the next morning getting her boob examined. If she didn’t have such an attitude, she could have got that done for much cheaper on one of the buses. Just saying. Her boob, by the way, is indeed leaking and she has torn tendons. When she gets back to the hotel, Farrah, of course, spearheads the confrontation. Melissa denies ever having made the phone call. Farrah tells her to prove that she didn’t. Farrah knows nothing of the burden of proof, but whatever. That’s the risk you take when you speak so colorfully. Bret eventually arrives and Brittaney whines to him about being ostracized.

Bret wonders if Brittaney is crazy. Crazy, not in the “rock and roll good way,” but crazy-crazy. You better believe “rock and roll good way” is entering my lexicon with the determination of a biscuit eatin’ bulldog. At last, influential phrasing that wasn’t devised by Farrah. Who in the French ever would have thought?

Like hell they are! Bret has left with Farrah and Ashley who inform him about the Melissa’s smack talk. Farrah lets him know what Melissa said about his appearance and that she’s not there for him.

Such a helper!

Bret returns to the room and tells “everybody who’s not named Melissa” to leave. That’s such a roundabout way of saying what he has to. Perhaps that comes from his background as a lyricist. If so, he accomplished his goal in the rock and roll so-so way.

Bret confronts Melissa.

She lies boldly, claiming, “I never made a phone call.” Bret recaps the “bipolar roller coaster” she’s put him on so far, and adds with disdain that they haven’t even had sex yet! In this environment that’s actually a great point.

Elimination! Farrah is dressed in a manner that could only be described as a rock and roll good way.

Actually, it might do you well to soak in all the outfits.

I know there’s already a show with this title, but with some minor editing, Rock of Love easily could be called What Not To Wear and lose absolutely nothing.

Bret addresses the girls by saying, “For the last couple of days, we have definitely been rockin’ and rollin’ on this tour.” And as you know, he likes to rock! Bret says there have been some good highs and lows. When he says “highs,” we see Ashley doing this…

It begs the question: is she high?

Bret addresses the hair allegations first, because obviously they’re the most important. He says that he’s dropped “quality money on the finest hair extensions Europe has to offer.” This way you know he’s a cool guy who isn’t above acknowledging his fake hair. It’s actually impressive every time he does this. Would you really have guessed that he had that much of a sense of humor about himself? Joke away, he’s all good. Melissa speaks up and says she’s not feeling this. Bret knows she isn’t and. He had a feeling she was a player. He tells her to get the f*** out. Clearly, everything just rolls off his back.

Melissa interviews that the show left her with a busted up boob and a f***ed up arm and it wasn’t worth it. No solace to be taken in the fact that millions got to watch you bust up your boob and f*** up your arm, even?

Elimination proceeds like it always does. Kelsey gets the first pass. Good for her. She’s cute. Although I do wonder if she’s cute in the rock and roll good way or just cute-cute. (OK, that’s the last rock and roll good way I’m gonna use…for now.) When Maria gets her pass, she enthuses, “After tonight, I feel like we have a connection. I know he knows my name!”

Yes. Having your existence acknowledged on a reality show is a very special thing.

It comes down to Brittaney and Beverly. Bret believes that the Lord gives you two eyes to look forward. I thought the Lord gave you an eye for each boob? Whatever, the point is that Bret isn’t holding Brittaney’s past against her, he’s holding her present against her. She’s leaving.

Bret interviews that he’ll always have Brittaney’s DVDs in his heart and on his tour bus. Yet another reason those eyes are helpful. Our Lord is indeed an awesome one! And I hate to use the word “awesome” a lot, but it is.

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Rock of Love Bus show page
Rock of Love videos and extras

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  1. lezah says:

    I think that the girls this season are just fake and nasty. Beverly is the most down to earth, not fake like the rest. But it always bugs me when she does her little hand signs. Bret needs to find himself a woman that doesnt look like a blow up doll or just a skanky barbie doll. And I swear to god that the black chick is a dude in drag. Ish and he keeps picking her, lmao whats up wit tat Bret? Exploring new avenues? Man oh man that is just creepy. Maybe they can compare eyeliner tips. lol. Not to knock Bret but he really does need glasses, and if he has little girls, its sad he is goingt o introduce them to !~)_@)`*+`_%`!$^# s, and fake woman. Sad.

  2. Mariah says:

    “Son of a biscuit-eatin’ bulldog” is from an Orbit Gum commercial: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Nfh92hKLO6c

  3. songofsirens says:

    Beverly Rocks, I respect her for not getting up on that stage and stripping. She pointed out to Bret about not being able to do it because of her children back at home. His response was that the kids were not there and she should have fun. Having fun and doing stupid things is one thing, but having fun and doing stupid things on TV, so the whole world can see so that your kids could get slack for, is another. Its another thing to get all sexy and skanky to turn on your man, just because you don’t want to do it in front of the whole world doesn’t meen your not sexy. Go Beverly!

  4. Bapril says:

    Ah-HEM! That hotel is called the Sybaris and it is famous ’round these parts. My friend actually stayed in that spaceship room once so hey, 6 degrees of Bret Michaels. There is an absolutely cheesy Sybaris commerical from like, the 80′s, that still plays on local TV here with a song that I will not be able to get out of my head for the rest of the day. I searched in vain for the commercial so I could link it here.

    At the Sy-ba-RIS…

  5. mnchick says:

    The recaps always are more entertaining than the show itself. LOL I am glad that Brittaney is gone. After the whole stealing of the socks..that girl is crazy with a capital “C.” I did not however go for the girls fat comments about her. I thought she was fine.. Yes, a little extra meat on her bones but still..not everyone is a size 2. I do not think though that any of these girls are right for Bret…they’re all just…ugh! None of them seem to have more than a quarter of a brain in their heads.

  6. Jeanne says:

    To summorize the seasons…we went from groupies to group EE’s.

  7. dumb says:

    I LOVE HOW THAT ONE GIRL WHO WAS “ON THE PHONE” IS IN THE BUS!! HAHA AND EVERYONE ELSE IS IN THE HOTEL… SO HOW DID THEY HEAR HER TALKING 20 FEET AWAY THROUGH THE HOTEL WALLS AND THE BUS WALLS. HAHAHAH SOO SET UP!!!

  8. LAS says:

    I love this show …. but man these girls really suck! Beverly is the best one and you know that she wont make it very far …. But if the man had any sense in is head he would pick her …..I love ya Bret but come on get real!

  9. Molly says:

    Personally Melissa was a $@$*!__~`@_~&$`*( from the beginning. I have more to say where thats concerned but its too inappropriate. I agree that all of the girls this time around look like blow up barbies on crack, however this excludes Ashley. She is a drugged out Paris Hilton who is only in it for the fame of the show, not Bret, which she made clear when she started tonguein another chick. Nobody except Beverly seems to have any pride. You can be a hot chick and still have pride. Brittany? thank God barbie bawls-alot is gone!!!!! As far as I am concerned (and a few friends) Bret Michaels is the hottest thing walking. Not because he is musically talented and he rocks at it, but he is all around good guy. He is sexy as hell and isn’t afraid to be himself and thats what counts!!!!!

  10. Mike says:

    Bret,,,,Are you blind and really looking for love? Then you better look at Bev!!!!!!!!
    She is the most down to earth lady there. But total respect goes to Bev for standing up and thinking of her kids…The rest….Welll seen alot better on Springer!

  11. Mindy says:

    Seems to me Bret has very little respect for women. To take 4 women on a date to a strip bar and then expect them to perform on stage for him in front of strangers. My hat goes off to Bev who totally stood up for herself and thought of her kids. Bret even states he has 2 daughters himself so would he really want his daughters doing what he expects these women to do just to find the love of his life?

  12. jason says:

    wow, he didnt do a good job with this episode’s blog. he messed up a lot on names and things, and left out a bunch of stuff that happened, or could have been funny. disappointed…

  13. Nisha says:

    I agree that the girls this season seem fake. The whole show seems fake. Bret acts like he is in a big hurry to do the challanges and eliminations and just get it over with. It was interesting to see how Bret would act toward a women when his ego was threatened

  14. debsdamama says:

    Hey Bret,
    I loved your show up until now. I don’t think you’ll ever find love being a man &+@(`+)@`+&#~^!%# Seriously! Are you the kind of man you would want your daughters to date? Better yet, would you want your daughters to be hose monsters like these %(!#$“!*$@#^!`~$ es?
    I’m not taking a ride on this bus.
    Good Luck

  15. L.Stash says:

    I got the impretion the sock stealer might have been extremely poor or homeless in her life.
    Hording food and clothes seemed more like something someone does when they have went through periods where they went without. I felt bad for her.

  16. joanne tavares says:

    Lezah i am very upset with your comment about the black girl that on the show how dare u use that word the word is AFRISAN AMERICAN.YES I AM AFRICAN AMERICAN AND PROUD OF IT . I HAVE NO PROBLEM WITH COLOR. I’M COLOR BLIND NICE TO ME I’M NICE TO YOU, THAT’S ME. HOW ABOUT U. Bret pick’s who he want’s. colors dos’nt matter as u could see. I hope their a ROCK OF LOVE BUS 1,2,3,4,5,6,7,8,9,10etc. u go Bret. and VH1 LOL…about everything except the BLACK comment. not LOL about that one….

  17. Amused says:

    The phone that Melissa is on is not a cell phone. Unless of course it was a mobile from 1992 where you had to carry it around in a briefcase. That is the hotel room phone.

  18. JONELL says:

    BRET WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING!!! THEY ARE ALL FAKE EXCEPT ONE AND THATS BEV IF YOU DON’T PICK HER YOUR HAS DUMB HAS YOUR ACTING I DID NOT KNOW YOU STARTED AT COYOTES IN LOU BRETT I AM A MOTHER OF A DAUGHTER MY ONLY CHILD AND A MAMAW I WATCH YOUR CAREE WITH POISON YES I AM OLDER THEN YOU PLEASE DO US ALL A FAVOR AND STOP IT YOUR MAKING A FOOL OF YOURSELF STRIPPERS FAKE BOOBS ANYBODY CAN GET THAT I YOU PICKED BEV I SAW YOUR BUS PASS MY BUINESS!!!! DO US ALL THE FAVOR AND END THE CRAZY *_%%)`&#“+%(+%`

  19. illinoisrockbands@myspace.com says:

    man you gotta love it ! beverly and farrah are the only 2 that have a chance. how do i know watch the rest of the show

  20. itsob says:

    The best thing about this recap was the Quimby family reference. Thanks for that!

    /showing my age

  21. Jolez says:

    I love all the comments about how “Bret deserves better”. Please. He’s desperately trying to relive his mega rock star days and is only interested in T and A. Which he makes obvious every chance he gets. These women are exactly what he deserves and if one of them has herpes…well, that’s just natural selection right? I especially love how he called Melissa a player, lmao…erm, what does that make him?

  22. judee42plus says:

    this show is the biggest joke the Tramp of love bus should end He is to old to act this stupid with tramp ugly girls they are not women ,did HH1 scape the bottom of the tramp bucket to find these tramps come on this is a joke Brett get over your self stick to music and thats it are you that hard up you have to say these tramps are good looking maybe at your age you need glasses.

  23. Cricket says:

    Beverly is the only girl that’s true to herself and not skanky. If Bret wants the skanks, then he should have them. Beverly is too good for this show. Besides, how many shows does Bret need to do to find “the one”?

  24. BERNDOG CORNEJO says:

    Didnt get to see Episode 3 @$&%$, but I saw the the photos on VHI.com and they ROCK, nothing like seeing some HOT chics exposing their talent (BOOBS) on the internet. KEEP UP THE GOOD WORK BRET!!!!!!! ROCK N ROLL WILL NEVER DIE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  25. Rosalinda says:

    Beverly is too good for Bret and I hope she doesn’t get chosen for that fact. To believe he is truly seeking love amongst the women portrayed has me rolling on the floor. Put another 51 year old man on a show such as this and he would be portrayed as a perv.

  26. Channie says:

    I know that I usually have a deep insight of the events that just happened on the episode, but I’m going to forfeit all that for the opportunity to relish in my Alma Mater.

    CLASS OF 2008!!! GO ILLINOIS!!! ORANGE AND BLUE, BABY!!! ILL-INI!!!!! U OF I, HOUSE OF PAIGN!!!
    Okay, I’m done….

    So… Tamp of Love bus, that was pretty funny!!

  27. tima ` says:

    BRET YOU NEED TO DO ANOTHER SHOW ..WOW THOSE GIRLS HAVE MAJOR ISSUES AND YOU SEEM LIKE A GUY YES LIKES TO PARTY BUT ALSO YOU SEEM TO HAVE SMARTS…BRET DO NOT SETTLE FOR ANY OF THOSE LADIES,HAVE ANOTHER SHOW OR FIND A LADY ANOTHER WAY…JUST LIKE IT IS HARD TO FIND A GOOD LADY IT IS ALSO HARD TO FIND A NICE GUY..TAKE CARE AND I WISH YOU WELL….

  28. Cleavy says:

    These girls are like the toy doll with the pull-string at the back.
    *pulls string*
    “I’m a retired model.”
    *pulls string*
    “I’m from Brazil, I love Tequila”.

    And if Bret is such a family man, how come we’ve never seen his daughters on the show? Shouldn’t they approve/disapprove of his choice? Even Flav had his kids/extended family on his show…

  29. CANDY says:

    U KNOW WHAT ALLTHE GIRLS I THOUGH I WOULD LIKE R SUCHS ^*)$&`$^)$~`_%)(@ S AND $!^^^^#@*!+!!*~%# S AKA ASHLEY,FARRAH,NASTASHA, AND I AM A VERY GOOD JUGDE OF CHARACTER. I CAN WAIT TILL ALL OF THEM R GONE .HEATHER WAS RIGHT EACH SHOW DOES GIT FAKER SO I’M GLAD THERE IS NO 4 SHOW ALSO I WOULD HAVE BEATEN THEM IF THEY GOT IN MY STUFF . NO JOKE PICK A GIRL U CAN TAKE HOME NOT A HOE PLEASE

  30. Lisa says:

    Brett
    You haven’t found your rock of love because all the woman on any of your shows have no class.
    looks fade / boobs eventually sag/ but true love never dies…
    AND YOU GO BEVERLY GOOD FOR YOU, YOUR THE ONLY ONE WITH ENOUGH SENSE NOT TO STRIP IN FRONT OF ALL AMERICA. I HOPE YOU KNOW YOUR TO GOOD FOR THIS SHOW.

  31. James says:

    Beverly, I like her. She’s non-sluty, cool, and awesome. Yeah, Brett needs his kids on the show. Beverly deserves to win. Or Natasha, she’s pretty hot too. Natasha is smart too, just like Beverly

  32. cierababe says:

    you can rock my world anytime bret!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  33. kay kay says:

    Bret pick Beverly she aint sluty and she has a kid just like you . and she is awesome Bret do you want your kid coming home from school to a sluty mom that want to do “i t” all the time or an mom that’s not a hoe and now how too handle a kid , i know your trying too find love but, think about the child benefits too . if you dont pick her pick Mindy or Kelsey . PLEASE !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! p. s. love your show!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!. from your blog diva : kay kay bee.

  34. john says:

    Oh my @#@#@@ how many times do we have to watch a washed up rockstar try to find a woman??????????

  35. E says:

    What a jerk! He has alot of ##### talking that way on national television. Just goes to show you she was right about him being a player. He has no respect for WOMEN. Hello ladies can he look you in your eyes when he talks to you because the last time I checked my tata’s did not have a mouth to talk back. He is only interested in one thing, making his list of women he’s slept with longer than Gene Simmons. His smart mouth attitude has really changed my opinion of him, what a piece of ####. To bad his parents never explained the proper way to treat a lady. Obviously something is wrong with HIM if he has to go through this many women and still hasn’t found misses right.

  36. Bret is gorgeous and you know it! says:

    Come guys! He’s hilarious, sweet, and he’s pretty hot…if you don’t like the show, why are you reading about it? Why are you watching it?? Get out of the closet….you know you like it.

    You do know.

    You know.

    You do…

    LMFAO

  37. Sue says:

    What happened to your standards Bret?! You chose Amber from the last show and it seemed as though you made the right choice..What is going on? You`re getting older and you need to start thinking about finding someone who has a brain…Don`t you want to continue your life with a woman who has something to give you besides a pretty face and implants?! Seriously my dear,the body and the good looks of the girls will eventually fade with aging..What will you be left with?!
    Honesty,trust,intelligence and a caring heart for others are the qualities that won`t fade away with time..Think about this…

  38. useifnot says:

    This blog is whitty.

  39. lv2ply says:

    That is not the Syberis, it is Fantasuites in Greenwood IN. This group is about skanky, I would hope Bret Micheals would have more class. And if he wants to find love he needs to pick the type that he obviously likes and send the classy ones home. Step Monster would be the correct )+&^$#%*()&%~%& le for any of these skanks.

  40. Melinda Gentry says:

    Bret!!!!! You had the perfect woman, Amber and now you are looking for another love through more sluts when you actually had a decent one??? What is up with that crap? For real dude settle down. You better go back and find Amber. She was about the most decent one ever and she loved you. Get rid of all these skanks!
    Sincerely,
    Melinda Gentry

  41. Felicia says:

    I like the show and I like Bret. The thing is yeah….we all thought Amber was the one for him, but I feel he compromised because of what Jess did to him. He went for the young hott girl, 2time around the older wise woman. He needs to find something in between, but lets hope it’s not Ashley, she is actually ugly and her attitude and S&^t talking makes her uglier. The @%&~)^$)@#(_%_$$@` needs to grow up and needs to get her boobs DEFLATED!!!!!!

  42. geesy boy says:

    even though brittany stole socks she was still a beautifull angel.

  43. cgristy h says:

    So love in front of millions bret you can’t find love that way .a lot of girl’s already now ,who you ARE but you can’t always trust them I have had the biggest crush on you since i was 14 yrs old an now i’am 32.you a good man an deserve so much. good luck.love ur#1FAN

  44. Kimberly says:

    Okay Let me just say Bret is so Freaking HOT! Bret Has To Pick Ashley she is so fu*king HOT! BRET YOU HAVE TO PICK HER.If No Of Those chicks work U Could always holler at me lmao.

    kimberly@iamsandman.com

  45. t_bby says:

    i think bittanya should have never went ome she was so amazing ans she was hot!

    she should have won

    bret is stupid but still hot

  46. cecily says:

    thi discision bret made tonight was a great one he choose someone to be thier for him when his thier or not

  47. 239816 says:

    What a lovely day for a 239816! SCK was here

  48. 1340560 says:

    What a lovely day for a 1340560! SCK was here

  49. 3538773 says:

    What a lovely day for a 3538773! SCK was here