Confessions of a Teen Idol – Episode 4 Recap – The Kids are Alright

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This week, our faded idols confronted the paparazzi, and put on a show that reminded them what being a performer is truly about.

Chris wasn’t here for this episode, he took off to his sister’s wedding. “Lucky!” says David.

Eric continued to enlighten (and gross out) his housemates. Proving that he’s totally out there, he reveals the secret ingredient to having shiny, touchable hair.

PEE! His own!

When you find yourself washing with your own waste, u-rine big trouble. Know what I mean?

Eric has other health secrets to tell Jeremy, but says they’re not for everybody (!).

He assures Jeremy they have nothing to do with poop. Seems pee is okay, but poop is a universal no-no.

Because these stars are just like us, they decide to Google themselves. With David at the online helm, they start with Jeremy, whose search turns up a result for a sex tape!

David wants to know why Jeremy would do such a thing, given the possibility it could end up on the Internet. It’s revealed that David is the only guy in the house who has never videotaped himself having sex. Jeremy ends up schooling the guys on the power of the Internet to brand yourself and stay relevant. They all gather around and take a look at his MySpace page, which has over a million views.

The first call sheet arrives. They’ll be taken to Robertson and 3rd Streets, a high-end shopping district well-known for being swarmed with paparazzi. Adrian seems to dread this challenge. He says he wants to get back to high-vis work, but doesn’t understand why people need to know about his personal life.

They arrive, and Jeremy runs the gauntlet. He’s hungry for recognition, and the paparazzi gather around him right away. The encounter is tense and uncomfortable. One cameraman is out for blood.

The pap bugs Jeremy about his substance abuse and if he plans on relapsing. Not cool, considering that a relapse could be a life or death situation for some addicts.

David heads down paparazzi line and has a stroke of luck. A Japanese family recognizes him from “Beyond the Break,” a recent show he’s worked on.

He considers that a jab at the paparazzi, proving that he hasn’t disappeared from the airwaves.

Jamie attracts some recognition from the paps but doesn’t do much to engage them. After he is gone, they remark that “he looks tore up.” He reiterates his distaste for this aspect of show biz, and the experience reaffirms his decision to leave it completely.

Bill, once again, proves that he is a natural player.

He walks up to a group of photographers and asks them to take his picture. They seem to respond well, and snap a few shots.

Eric decides to use his walk down paparazzi alley to raise awareness of child starvation around the world.

He attracts a good deal of attention, walking around with a hand-scrawled sign and asking for spare change. He poses for a photo with a passing toddler. Why a small child is playing in front of the Chanel store on Robertson, is unclear, but it makes for a sweet photo op.

Adrian’s turn becomes a walk of shame when he fails to be recognized by a single photographer.

He takes this as a sign that he no longer belongs in Hollywood. This event also plants the seed of doubt in his mind as to whether he should stay on the show at all.

Back at the house, Jeremy is deflated by the whole experience. David voices serious concern about Jeremy’s ability to deal with the tribulations of an entertainment career. Jeremy lies around depressed, wearing one of the biggest watches I’ve ever seen.

Adrian decides to go visit his friend Marissa and talk about his paparazzi experience. She encourages him to stick it out and not let negative experiences get to him. Then, Adrian lets it drop that he’s thinking of leaving the show. Think he actually will?

Later, Eric works on the computer with urine-soaked hair.

He is sharing the benefits of pee therapy with his house mates.

Apparently many ancient cultures used it to cure diseases and improve the skin. Eric won’t reveal whether he drinks it or not, but who cares! Isn’t it enough that he rinses in it daily??

Next, they get called to a therapy session with Cooper, who shows them a tape of interviews with the paparazzi from Roberston and 3rd Streets.

The guys find out that of the five idols who had their photos taken the day before, four of them had pictures sold to Us Weekly. Great news! However, Us has committed to running just one of the photos — the one of Eric with his sign that says “So is Eric Nies now homeless?” Eric still has that MTV hipness about him, and it’s obvious that he’s good at getting noticed – no script required.

Scott comes by the house to check on the guys. Adrian is laid out on the couch despondent, and he and Scott step out to have a private chat about his anxiety regarding the show. Luckily, his perspective is about to change.

Jason comes by to tell them about their next challenge. They’re entertaining a group of under-privileged kids the next day. Jamie is on the phone right away, asking his wife to come over with their four little ones.

He’s missed them a lot.

The idols gather around and brainstorm the characters they’ll create for a children’s variety show. Kids are a tough crowd, and a couple of the guys are actually nervous. But it turns out to be a huge success! Eric powers a light bulb with coconut juice, Jeremy does an anti-drug rap, and Adrian does some awesome physical comedy.

These guys are genuinely talented; it’s impressive. The kids love the show.

But it’s a good thing no one told them about Eric washing with pee. That’s the kind of personal activity that can get the crap kicked out of you on the playground.

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