Come Join The Sister Patterson Teetotaling Traveling Band!


Yesterday, we received an email that was bizarre both for its content and syntax (it included a lot of arbitrary spacing, as in: “Siste r Patte rson is looki ng for talen ted peopl e that can sing , dance and play all types of music”). Did you get that, by the way? New York’s mom wants to start a band for no apparent reason! Just a whim! And you know how whimsical this woman can be! Below is the full text of the email with the spacing fixed (but nothing else so you can really soak up its essence):

Hello World, Sister Patterson is looking for talented people that can sing , dance and play all types of musical instruments to be a part of her new vocal group. You must be willing to travel, and be very flexible with scheduling. Legal to work in any situation. Pass a back round check. If you are addicted to any kind of drugs, alcohol and or medication please don’ t bother. This will be Sister Patterson’s group! and if you can’ t take her being the leader stay home! We are not sure when this group will start but please stay ready. Do not call or write Sister Patterson about how talented you are, or who you have song with in the past. You must be able to come to all rehearsals even if this means moving from your home town. please send a video to Sister Patterson’ s myspace page. She would love to see if you have what it takes to be a part of her new singing group, please include all of your home info and phone number on the video. All videos will be saved until the selection process is over. I repeat do not clog Sister P’s page with personal questions. This could be your chance of a life time.
God Bless.

for more info contact Sister Pattersons myspace: or her personal assistant

Even if nothing comes of this band, and even if this email is a total hoax, it’s seriously the most entertaining thing we’ve seen this week. That alone makes it all worth it.

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