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Examining Sober House With Dr. Drew - Episode 3
Dr. Drew’s weekly commentary on Sober House continues! Below, the doctor talks about the group’s resentment of Jenn, the accountability addicts find in simple jobs and why the group’s decision to hit a nightclub was so potentially disastrous.
Steven gets to choose between going to jail or going to rehab. How does that work?
I’m not exactly sure. They’re always given a choice, but their attorney has to make the case that it’s the right thing to do. When I went down to help Jessica Sierra, it was to fight for her to get treatment as opposed to jail, because it was the right thing for her. Jessica just finished a year of sobriety. She’d be dead if she were in jail.
During group, the main focus point is Jennifer’s decision and the group’s resulting anger. Were you surprised at the level of resentment toward Jenn?
Yeah. I brought this up with them in the past: if I were their parents, I’d pack their car with drugs and call the cops, and they were all like, “How could you do that? Oh my god.” Seth particularly gets upset about that kind of thing and he had this whole story about how his dad bailed him out. I’m convinced that if his dad hadn’t bailed him out, he wouldn’t be suffering from drug addiction right now. Their reactions are drug-addict reactions. The fact is that people are trying to help. Steven Adler is alive today because he was arrested on that day.
Jennifer seemed to think that your endorsement of her decision brought some levity to the group – they could see her side via your support of it.
I was not specifically looking for Steven to be arrested. I thought the cops would take him to the hospital. I didn’t want this dangerously ill guy out on the streets – I wanted him in the hospital. Little did I know that Steven was packing heroin all over his body. He was yelling at us for two days that he didn’t have heroin. Stupid me, I believed him.
Nikki is particularly angry at group, almost to a paranoid extent where she wonders if she relapses, the police will be called.
If she gets violent, we’ll call the police on her. If we need to, we will! But it’s just that they felt insecure and unsafe and they’re drug addicts and they could relapse. I get that. On one hand, it’s an anti-social impulse to go, “How dare you have the temerity to enforce the law and keep the treatment environment safe!” I mean, think about that. Having said that and laughed at it, I understand that they feel unsafe. They could relapse and they don’t want to feel like they’re in an environment where they’re going to be punished for being fragile.
Some of the residents look for jobs that are a lot less glamorous than what they’ve been accustomed to. Is this exercise particularly helpful in taking celebs down a notch?
No, it’s more that they need to be willing to do this, that their sobriety needs to be more important than anything else and that they need to get away from the celebrity lifestyle. They need to find another way to have a life. The celebrity lifestyle works against their sobriety. It’s the hardest things to get celebrities to do – they drift back into their celebrity stuff and they start using again.
Is such detachment the only way for celebs to get clean?
It’s not the only way, but it’s the only way that’s likely to work.
The residents are all allowed to go out for the first time and so they all decide to go to a club. Did that surprise you?
It didn’t surprise me that they all wanted to go out, but it did surprise me that they all chose a bar. It’s like Will’s reaction: What are you f***ing thinking? That’s not a good sign. The kinds of things they were doing are even surprising to me now.
Nobody ends up actually drinking, though.
It’s still a horrible sign when addicts go out and test themselves, it’s only a matter of time before they use.
Seth violates curfew and it’s just one of several troubling signs: Mary says that he told her that he wants to use now so that he can build up sobriety later. What do you think of that?
Anything crazy like that is addict-think. Those goofy rationalizations, that’s what we call stinking thinking. Prime example. Even though Seth comes home sober, if you were to ask me that week how things were going with him, I’d say not good.
Check out what Jennifer had to say about this week’s episode here.
Related content
Sober House show page
Sober House videos and extras
January 30th, 2009 at 2:56 am
I don’t know what the residents’ expectations were when they went into Sober House. It should have been clear that if they broke the rules, they would be out. No second chances, particularly in extreme cases. Steven was self-destructive and jeoporadized the safety and sobriety of his housemates. Jennifer had no choice but to call the police and shouldn’t have to defend her decision to the group.
January 30th, 2009 at 2:59 am
I too went through rehab in nov. Didn’t last two weeks. A Doc got me hooked on pain meds. BAD ONES. It would
kill a normal person. The problem, one of many, I have
been diagnosed with dementia and 6 years ago caverous
angioma. Plus a host of other unpleasant aches and pains. The only organ that works is my panaceaous. I was born with two. I’ve always had a guardian angel.
Eitherwise I would have been dead at 5 times, at least.
What I Want say….I wished for a better out come for
myself and soberhouse. I guess your a prisoner of own
creation or what others put upon yourself. I’m not sure
how move forward with a broken body, heart, and mind.
I’m not crazy or anything like that, but terribly dis-
appointed.
When Steven got high last week my husband was so up-
set, yelling thats exactly how i act when we go out. I’m deny it,…..but i can’t, i stare at steven and cry
my heart pounds so hard its hurts! My throat feels likes its constricted. My brain is screaming…THATS YOU!!!!!!THATS WHATS YOU LOOK LIKE!! I remember, i
remember waking up in strange places and bruses. Feeling tired and not knowning why. I have hugh chunks
memorey that are gone. I’m still so up set and i can’t
getit out of my mind. What i like to kmow how do stay cool. I GO into a rage all the time, every irraterates me. Its exhausting. I just don’t want to do anymore. Without the drugs my mind is worse and that is no exuse. The pain is real and true. Not every case is the same and should be treated as such. THANK YOU for letting me sound off. p.s. fogive spelling
January 30th, 2009 at 8:09 am
No one seems to have any idea as to why they are in a sober house. All of these people are unable to exist without their little helpers. Drugs and alcohol have infiltrated every aspect of their lives. They can’t do ordinary things without being high; they can’t pay bills, talk on the telephone, brush their hair, ride on a public bus, eat in a restaurant, nothing.
Sober, they revert to being fearful and phobic. They freeze at the thought of accomplishing anything. Much like brain-damaged patients, they have to re-teach themselves how to do everything. Sober house is nursery school. The students have to learn how to get dressed, feed themselves, drive, get on an elevator, talk to strangers; every minute detail of life that sober people are used to, an addict has to re-experience over and over again without being high. This includes being around drugs and alcohol!
The first time they go to see a movie sober might bring on a strong craving, but by the 10th time, they’ve gotten more used to it and they can go to a movie with no problem. So it is with every other aspect and activity of life. They have to go through the experience of being in the presence of alcohol/drugs many-many times in order to get desensitized to its presence, and especially to become accustomed to rejecting it. If they don’t get used to Dealing With a Craving and Rejecting Drugs/Alcohol, then all of the effort is for nothing. They need those particular skills to quit for life.
To get to the show….
“It’s still a horrible sign when addicts go out and test themselves, it’s only a matter of time before they use.” Disagree. Read up. They have to test themselves in order to NOT use. They have to face the demon.
RE: Seth. Seth came home sober. He succeeded. He did great. He tested himself and he passed. One more sober day, and a day with a lesson. A good day. He talked about using, but his actions counted more.
RE: Jen. I don’t think she’s good at her job. The other female counselors were great.
RE: Steven. Steven didn’t ‘threaten’ anyone’s sobriety. This is just nonsense. Steven using is small stuff next to the really tough job of living life. The other residents will meet people who aren’t sober. They better get used to it now. If they can’t get get past his getting high, how are they going to react when a child of theirs gets sick? Treat it as a learning experience and get over it.
RE: Nikki. She’s right. Family doesn’t send family to jail. Ever.
People get killed in prisons. Often. When you put someone in jail, you put them at far more risk than if you had simply left them alone. They ruin more lives than they save. Police always look for a reason to arrest. Police are judged by number of arrests, entire counties depend on prisons for their livelihood, and so-called tough sentencing ruins lives. You are in over your head. Once you involve the police, you’ve unleashed a power that neither you nor ordinary reason can control. Think Rodney King. Think that was fair? Think it was unusual?
Sober House is for learning, not for playing God. Letting Steven sleep it off and/or ejecting him from the house would have been better, just like they did with Jeff Conaway. The justice system is made up of hired guns. They like to shoot.
January 30th, 2009 at 11:27 am
recovery is a gift, and alot of people might need it, but only the ones that want it get it, seems like the house mother was put in a bad situation, not having more staff around her,to support her, oh yeah, what ever happend to NA/AA. meetings? as addicts we already know how to use,returning to the bar scene, not a good place to be. we want to learn how to stay clean or sober we should be willing to follow the suggestions of those that have been there done that,stop asking why and ask HOW
January 30th, 2009 at 12:39 pm
I have been sober now for 15 years and the only I know is without spirituallity I would never make I still 5-6 meetings a week. I have not seen this subject approached. Send an application and I send my resume of how to handle a tech job. The police were last people to call. First aid squads anything but a cop’
January 30th, 2009 at 12:57 pm
I have been wanting to comment since the first episode! I can no longer hold back! I think that Dr. Drew’s failure to identify the seriousness of the Steven Situation on the very first day is completly to blame for the current chaos. Steven should have been removed the very first night. His behavior showed that he is not taking this opportunity seriously and has no respect for anyone involved.
The damage caused to the other residents from being exposed to someone that high and caught up in the following drama was irrepable. It is obvious that it got them anxious, feeling unsafe, and worse, jonesing! They are all thinking about relapsing now! They cant help themselves! There chances for success have been handicapped! Shame on you, Dr. Drew!
Furthermore, Dr. Drew’s inaction put additional, undue stress on Jennifer! He put her in the situation to have to call the cops! He created even more tension between Jennifer and the residents! She wanted Steven gone the first night. She recognized the message him NOT having to leave would send the others. That his bringing heroin into the Sober House was dangerous and damaging enough for him to have to leave and that it would only escalate. Which it did!
Dr. Drew, I am afraid that your desire to try and keep Steven on the show has cast a shadow over the recovery of every person in that house!! Your priorty should have been those who are actually trying hard to stay sober and the brave woman who wants- and tried- to help them!
January 30th, 2009 at 1:56 pm
Why do they HAVE to go to a club? I don’t get it. There ARE other things to do in the world besides go to a bar. Nikki is silly…I could not believe how she shrugged her shoulders during the conversation about going out…is she really sober right now or is she using. How old is she anyway. She seems shockingly immature about the world. These people need more than 30 days in sober living. They purspose put themselves in shaky situations like they are some kind of expert at sobriety….it’s like a guy I used to date…his theory was “I am conserving my roids meds” and just expose them to a little bit of help, instead of taking the treatment AS PRESCRIBED. Then low and behold the roids don’t go away, EVER. Not a reoccuring, they never got treated to begin with the swelling only went down for a while. The sober house people seem to think that by exposing themselves they will become immuned to the disease. AND so soon. It’s disturbing. DR. DREW! Why can’t they see the lifestyle HAS to change. They can’t have it both ways. Especially addicts. Am I wrong? God Bless Rodney King. He is AWESOME!!!!!!!! You ROCK RK! Keep it up!
January 30th, 2009 at 2:04 pm
RICH. YOU don’t get it. Steve wouldn’t accept any help. Also, this particular program is not the same one you went through apparently. Doesn’t make less than yours. I am a Christian. However, not everyone responds to that route in this situation. Anyway, they are too cloudy. I sense that spirituality may dawn eventually for many of them. They can’t see the most simplistic things at this point in the program. They are very concrete thinkers….Rodney seems to be the only one that has abstract thinking skills at this point.
January 30th, 2009 at 8:34 pm
I am very disappointed with Sober House. You have lost a viewer.
January 30th, 2009 at 9:15 pm
Tristica (see her comment posted below) said everything I wanted to which saves me a lot of writing! Steve should have been sent home when Jen found the needles in his pants when he was checking in. I have little hope for any of these people (with the exception of Rodney).
January 31st, 2009 at 12:59 am
This is a VH1 “reality” show begging for ratings. “Crash and Burn of the Stars” would be a more appropriate (#%~@^%@$$$~`$( le. It hopefully will not set back recovery efforts in this country. 21 days in detox - without doing a lick of work? Then out into the “real” world. Real world, my Aunt Esther. Guy brings heroin in; “but he’s such a nice guy.” Put in prison the NEXT NIGHT - Dr. Drew, or anyone else from his office, not available to talk him down when he’s wasted?? Then everyone except Rodney King driving around Hollywood to a nightclub first night out? Guy out till 2:30 AM on his first night? And what’s her name, “I have 2 years sober, and I’m really struggling with this.” Running the house. Ha, ha, ha! Great role-model. That was Dr. Drew’s 2nd choice, because the 1st place was a pit. Work on this recovery thing, Dr. Drew. After a couple hundred more dead patients, you might get it right. This is just drivel. Deadly drivel, that’s the sad thing…
January 31st, 2009 at 1:04 am
My previous post was edited. I was not vulgar, nor profane. I used the name of a Federally controlled substance shown and named repeatedly on the show, which name was apparently was filtered out on my post.
January 31st, 2009 at 9:52 pm
I really don’t believe any one in the house wanted to see the truth of the situation. Steven broke the law,he could of hurt himself or someone else. He refused medical treatment, the house mom had no other choice .The sober house is not a medical facilaty.It is not equipped to handle that situation.Everyone had the attiude so he srewed give him another chance.I would love to see everyone to make sobriey a part of their life.It is very hard for the average person to stay clean. just as the average persons lifestlye has to change so does celebs. now is the time to take responsiblity for your own actions.Yes you will face temptations , for the most part you try to limit your exposure. good luck to all you!!
February 1st, 2009 at 9:55 pm
I recently got out of rehab and it was not the kind of rehab these people are so privileged to be offered for free. Mine cost and sober living costs as well. It will take some of them a few times and of course they will get better and more informed each time and they will becme more humble. This last time was not my first rehab. I had actually gone to private facilities and one was in the npa valley. I just see so many at their beginning stages and still so much in denial. I have to say though my last rehab I had to go to were alot of people that were inmates finishing up a program. I found watchoing Steven so difficult and triggering to my sobriety that I cant even phantom him being in the house for that long considering how he put so many peoples lives’ in jeopardy. Absolutely she was right to call the cops. Is he a bad person? No! That was addict behavior! But she is also responsible for the safetly and well-being/sobriety of everyone else. One day they will realize that his using and bringing there was completely unacceptable. They say relapse happens way before you use and I see that happening with many of those residents.
February 2nd, 2009 at 5:20 pm
I don’t think Steve Adler knows how many people want him to succeed in getting sober. I am a chronic pain sufferer. I use narcotics to help me get through a day with as little pain as possible. I don’t want to take these drugs but I have to or I’ll be in bed 24-7. That goes for all you at Sober House.
Thanks for reading this.
Paul
February 4th, 2009 at 3:51 am
I’m responsible for a letter to Reno, Nevada’s Honorable Chief Justice Connie Steinhiemer to be mailed out tommorrow. Help.
I too, seek to encourage treatment over prison for an addict. Last year he was given his first treatment over jail deal. Ordered to complete 30 days of treatment, he was admitted to Sierra Tuscon. Released to his own care since then, now a probation violation has him back behind bars.
What key elements support the argument for further treatment over jail when attempts at recovery are failing?
February 5th, 2009 at 9:04 pm
I love Sober House and think Dr. Drew is very sincere in his wanting to help addicts…certainly 21 days is not enough time in treatment, and the “rules” of the Sober House are extremely liberal, as in 3 stikes your out, a barbeque the 2nd day, and allowing the clients to go to a bar. C’mon! Let’s get real here.
I’m convinced Jen shouldn’t have called the police, why not an ambulance? Why was Steven allowed back in the 2nd day? I mean, the show has been inconsistantly ridiculous so far. Do they ever go to meetings? Toxic people like Mary’s boyfriend shouldn’t be allowed at the house at all. Nikki and Amber seem to want sobriety given to them…it takes work! Seth is jonsin’ so bad it’s sad. Rodney seems to be the only one working the Program…they could all learn from him.
Regardless, thanks for a wonderful program, warts and all!
February 5th, 2009 at 10:39 pm
Dr. Drew you suck as a doctor. Stop PANDERING TO THESE CELEBS and give more support to Jen the “mother house”. You allowed Steven to verbally, emotionally and psychologically abuse your staff while he was in Rehab and Jenn as well. You should of supported her decisions. You undermine her authority when you take a passive role and say. It’s how you feel Jen. No, you need to step it up doc and not let these people disrespect others. The don’t respect themselves or they would not abuse drugs like they do.
February 13th, 2009 at 3:48 pm
Dr. Drew,
In your interview above you talk about stinkin’ thinkin’ and addict-think. Why don’t you tell these folks in your charge the same things? Let them know when they’re thinking like an addict so they can see the difference while the thoughts are happening. They need to be shown the differnece between right and wrong, even in their thinking. They get kid gloves when they act out.
And Steven shouldn’t have been allowed to return..sorry, it sends the wrong message and jeapordizes everyone’s recovery attempt..same goes for Amber and now Seth too. Life on life’s terms. Let’s see a little more of Rodney who seems to be the only one who’s learned anything and is really trying for a better life.
February 16th, 2009 at 2:59 am
Viewers who have been through multiple detoxes, rehabs and halfway houses never experienced a place like this. We’re used to strict rules, no outsiders in the facility unless they’re attending an AA meeting, and knowing we’ll be kicked out if we relapse.
Filming Steven, Amber and Seth behaving badly is compelling television, but it’s a poor instructive documentary about how people get clean and sober guided by knowledgeable, detached mentors who don’t get emotionally involved with the resident’s personal problems. The producers choose to focus on high drama, not the difficult process of getting and staying sober. Dr. D is far too lenient with his charges.
August 14th, 2009 at 8:40 pm
dr. drew please look into relexology. find a person who practices this ancient holistic healing and use it for these wonderful humans overcoming these horrible addictions. i have been using it for pain management and it works. the first time i was in pain that was an 8 and after my treatment the pain came down to a 4 and the next day a 3……… I had my 7 yr old darling son treated for his high energy and it was like night and day how well his behavior changed, within minutes. it works and there are places on the ear for addictive behavior. please doc do this! you will see dramatic change for these folks….
ps you are a doll and I’ve loved you since MTV love line. rock on