You could probably find a dozen things to love in this shot alone (both boas included!):
But wait, there’s more!
In no particular order, this week’s points of awesomeness include:
- The girls’ respective ideas of what constitutes entertainment.
Obviously, by the mere act of casting, the powers that be are essentially saying to their talent, “Entertain!” And so they do by terrorizing each other, thinking of clever riffs on the old classic, “Bitch…,” wearing clothes that defy physics and logic, and inventing words like “cacoozi.” But it’s not so often that they’re literally told to entertain on screen, and thanks to this week’s video-chat challenge, we saw just how weird the results could be when they are asked just that.
There was cheerleading and songwriting…
…ballet…
…Russian recitation…
…and ensuing creepy translation…
There was half-naked flailing…
…and belly-dancing…
…an art exhibition…
…and, of course, this was bizarre for its lack of oozing sexuality. Not that it was bad. In fact, the painting goes way beyond the ability of anything I ever would have expected from someone on reality TV. But if this challenge is the reflection of Ray J’s life that he stated it was intended to be (he gets lonely on the road, see, and needs to keep up with his girl, see…), then does that mean that Danger would be painting for him, what? Every night? Maybe she’s that prolific, but, you know, probably not. And really, by this logic, Atomic Bomb’s Bedazzler would totally start charging for overtime.
The most bizarre, by far, was Feisty’s beer-bong display.
Uh, I think you have to be drunk yourself to truly appreciate it. Feisty doesn’t seem to know that just because something is fun to do, it doesn’t mean that it’s fun for others to watch. Other things that fall into this category are watching TV, knitting and nose-picking.
And then, there was Chardonnay.
Her human-sundae was some Frenchie-level exhibition — it’s always fascinating to see someone with a devil-may-care attitude about multiple kinds of dirty (both the sexually suggestive kind and the all-this-sticky-crap-is-on-me kind). My favorite were the nuts, which represented “all the little things” that made she and Ray J perfect for each other.
I can’t believe they didn’t represent, you know, nuts.
Also:
If you’re eating a banana on VH1 and you don’t deep throat it, you’re doing it wrong.
There was also a written component to Chardonnay’s display. It went:
“Literally one day for a week’s preparation
To mentally get ready for physical separation
Even though I don’t deserve stress
I’m passionately true
And I’m out here on a limb like a bird’s nest.
I’ve been given a chance and I’m honored to have had your ear
Not to mention I’ve been feeling you for years.
So every other woman that you judging is in opposition
Hands down, ’cause I’m my only competition.”
She may say “isn’t opposition,” but I think that would be a little too coherent for what Chardonnay’s going for here. My favorite part is when she compared herself to a bird’s next. I hope that means there are a bunch of little baby birds inside of her! God, come to think of it, what I wouldn’t do to watch her chew up worms and regurgitate them into baby birds’ mouths! It’s about the only thing that could give me a higher opinion of this woman at this point.
And then, there was Lil’ Hood.
She performed a Lil’ Hood original. It was not well-received by anyone. Here are the lyrics:
“You ain’t gotta take your shades off to see that I’m grindin’…
‘Cause gettin’ money’s just an occupation
If it ain’t about a dollar, then it ain’t ’bout Nathan.
Catch me in the Coupe, chicken noodle soup
All set and shiny, deep dish 22s.
I painted it green, now I’ll call it Mountain Dew.”
It goes on, but I don’t know…just listen to the file and draw your own conclusions. She kinda lost me at “Nathan.” Who’s Nathan?
(And I know, she probably is just saying “nothin’” in the most confusing way possible, but still: who’s Nathan?)
Continuing down the list of Seven Things We Loved About This Week’s Show:
- The reaction to Lil’ Hood’s rap.
Those are Caviar’s words, by the way. Look, she’s a blunt girl, but that’s direct even for the typically filter-less crop of reality stars. Lil’ Hood’s ensuing breakdown kept the ball rolling as she cried about being cut off, explaining that she was going to somehow lyrically tie in getting hit where you s*** with, I don’t know, love? For sheer entertainment value alone, how the hell did Ray J not give her a slot on his yachting date in the place of Chardonnay, Danger or Cocktail?
Again, Caviar’s words are amazing. This girl is, like, inherent entertainment. Which leads us to:
- Anytime Caviar said anything.
In Russia, we backpedal ’cause we have no choice! Bikes is made broken!
And you think it’ll stop there.
But it doesn’t.
Keep it goin’, girl!
And…scene.
Of course, this possible “boyfriend” slip almost got Caviar in trouble, after Ray J was informed about it during the yachting date. Caviar would later explain that her words got “twisted.” Gee, I can’t imagine how that happened!
- The implicit sex-tape reference in Ray J’s hand-held, self-taped mode of communicating with the girls.
Never forget!
- Cocktail’s way of informing Ray J that she’s “here for love for real.”
Because honest declarations of love are so much more convincing when they’re made in the lap of a virtual stranger!
- Stilts’ wig.
Changing up her look mid-episode? Who does she think she is, New York? That kind of take-the-bull-by-the-hair-providing-tail approach to one’s appearance is exactly what’s needed to keep a show like this spicy. And she didn’t have to be commanded to do so or anything!
- Genuine’s genuineness
“I am partially here for exposure, but I don’t want Ray J to know everything about me,” she said on her participation on this show. Not since Flavor of Love 3‘s Ice (and probably not even before, either) has someone been so upfront with her desire to be on TV, which is a shame since DUH BEING ON TV IS AN INHERENT PART OF THIS PROCESS and, real talk: you know that once they come off the show, half of the girls are going to say, “I didn’t want to be in entertainment before going on, but being exposed to it made me want to see where I can take this…” Seriously, they say that a lot. Genuine just cut to the chase and while unwise, considering that Naturalle got kicked out last episode for the exact same reason, that kind of directness is hard to come by.
Her exit interview in which she admitted that she would have stayed around had she kept her big mouth shut…
…was ironic.
Oh, and Atomic Bomb went home, too.
So that’s sad or whatever.
Related content
For the Love of Ray J show page
For the Love of Ray J videos and extras
30 responses to to For The Love Of Ray J Recap – Episode 2 – Seven Things We Loved About This Week’s Show
The show is very interesting but he has regular chicks on his show.He dont have any thick chicks its more to the world then skinny chicks.I wish i would have tried out for the show maybe to give it a lil bit of flavor.I’m not tring to down anybody on there.What is he really looking for a girlfriend or something for the moment looking from the outside in its just something for the moment.
I LOVE THE SHOW BUT I CAN JUST SAY THAT ALOT OF THE GIRLS ARE NOT GOOD ENOUGH FOR RAY-J I MEAN HE WANTS TO SETTLE DOWN HE WANTS TO START LOOKING FOR A MORE INNOCENT GIRL I GUESS AND NONE OF THOSE GIRLS ARE IT.. I MEAN ~@&^~@@`^`_+`%_~ TAIL LOOKS WAY TOO MUCH LIKE HIS EX (KIM)AND FIESTY LOOKS 15YRS OLD AND SHE ACTS LIKE A HUGE FAN NOT LIKE SOMEONE LOOKING FOR LOVE.. THE ONLY ONE THAT I THINK IS A GOOD MATCH FOR RAY-J IS THE GIRL WITH THE TAT. ON HER FACE..AND SHE IS NOT EVEN GOOD LOOKING ENOUGH FOR HIM.
ray j. i think that you and danger will make a great couple,because she seems to really wants to be there and i think she is keeping it real.chardonnay is to thrashy for a guy like you.
Ray J is not just looking for that innocent girl. He wants a woman who can get dirty when its that time and be lady like when its that time. An innocent girl would just bore him. I can see how Ray J would want Chardonnay because she shows alot of sex appeal but at the same time he is going to want her to tone it down n show class for that azz. Here is what i dont get, danger gave Ray J art but she said she dont give art to someone she dont know…..how the hell u dont give art to someone u dont know n the art is of them. Did she paint that in the hour they had to get ready or was it already painted…im confuse. Anywho, Ray J is not going to find love. This is not love, come the hell on, everytime u kiss a girl n then go kiss another girl u just cheated on the first girl u just kissed. I admit im a chump for reality shows like this one, im happily married n it makes me appreciate my husband that much more.
These r some of the BUTT %%#!#)+$$**^~`# UGLY girls i ever seen. He just need to cancel the whole show and pick out some more girls. I know he can do better than that on his own. They act like `&_~(*_)`$#@~@^@^ s doing all that splitting and licking and !)%@~!(@#`*~+_+! What the hell!!! Whoever picked them girls is wrong for that !)%@~!(@#`*~+_+! I’ve seen coon dogs in mississippi look better than them.DAMN
These r some of the BUTT $&@_((_@$%(`+** UGLY girls i ever seen. He just need to cancel the whole show and pick out some more girls. I know he can do better than that on his own. They act like (+*`@)(%~*`@&`)$` s doing all that splitting and licking and _(+&$^@^!~((*%$$ What the hell!!! Whoever picked them girls is wrong for that _(+&$^@^!~((*%$$ I’ve seen coon dogs in mississippi look better than them.DAMN
THIS )^%!_~(^~~@^@*^@ HELLA FAKE WELL HIS GODSISTER AINT HIS GODSISTER DATS WHITNEY HOUSTON GOD-DAUGHTER I REMEMBER HER OFF NORA’S HAIR SALON AND A EPISODE OF BEING BOBBY BROWN HER NAME BRANDI BURNSIDE TRILL TALK!!!!
How dare that fat ))@@^%(+~)*@!+@## try to use Ray J for exposure. Girl you need to drop a cool 60 before you can even audition. LOL. Why is the banana split girl’s knees so black. I think we know why. Damn, ))@@^%(+~)*@!+@## use pillows. LOL I hope Danger wins. The so called “classy” ))@@^%(+~)*@!+@## es are BORING and need to go home in packs.
wow stripper -stripper- stripper caviar was asked just to roll around and act like a stripper unique looked like a giant grape dancer just looks weird and lil hood got all gangster WTF
I LIKE DANGER I THINKS SHE’S COOL. EVERYONE IS HATING ON HER.SOME OF THE OTHER GIRLS ARE PRETTY BUT BORING.AND WHAT THE HELL WAS UP WITH CHARDONNAY SHE IS GHETTO AS HELL AND REALLY FREAKY!
I like the show so far. Why does #)(+^`^__)*%%)!+ tail keep puttin her hands all over Ray J’s mouth? What is wrong with her? I think he likes Danger alot, she’s the first one he kissed. I think she’s there for him. All of the other girls are there for exposure. Some are not into him such as Caviar, she’s very fake.
I don’t understand how people can say Chardonnay doesn’t have enough class for Ray J. Since when has Ray been the epitome of class? Have you listened to some of his lyrics and interviews? He seems like a guy who likes fun, and Chardonnay seems like the only girl who really knows how to create fun. The other girls are waiting for him to initiate everything, and she is getting the party POPPIN!!! Stop hating, let the girl do her thing, and let Ray J enjoy his show!
er body hatein but I think it took guts for little barbie white girl to rap and she wasnt 2 bad not no eminem though
Caviar is something else a pretty face will lie….So pretty is she yet she is still a fake wanna be, there for exposure…I saw her tramp a** calling her man talking stuff RAY you know she got to gogogo…Peace BooDOO
Hey RJ. I like to watch drama thats why I watch ur show. But just being real, if u really takin this ish seriously, then u know u just finna get a girlfriend outta this. Not real love. Danger is just what her name says, danger. U done had plenty girls like chardonnay, dont stunt. U know where thats going. She thinks she’s so different but she is just like any other going chick I’ve seen. (The term “going” means very freaky girl). So, just have fun! prolly what ur doin anyway tho. Big ups to all u chicas that made it on the show. had to do something to get there right?!
Give me a break!
Is it that damn hard to find a good woman? You’re how old are you about 26, 27? You can’t find anything else to do with your time? Another lonely celebrity looking for a relationship on tv? First of all, you ain’t all that good looking to beging with, i don’t care if you are brandy’s brother. I being a beautiful and intelligent black woman would not waste my time on someone like you. All you want is a trashy tattooed woman with problems. You need to go on with your stupid _!&^*%!&+_`%_&+@ And get a life.
I love the show , it is very unique and classy. I think that RAY J has alot of class as a young man and alot of freak a deek too, but that is understandable being in the industry. Also a shout out to you LIL “B”, aka Brandy, you are doing a wonderful job, and Joel sees you. Anyway , love the show, and keep up the good work and despise all hater. lol
No…people who go on tv shows to find love have no life. I don’t even know why yall waste ur time doing that s***. He’s not gonna pick any body. After the shows done, I give it 2 weeks, the winner and ray j won’t even be talking for real.
i love your show and i would live to vist it
tragically funny….what a trainwreck!!!
man i heard that ray j got Danger pregnant!!!! and try to gave her the after moring pill but it didnt work!!!!!
DiS ShoW iS TOOOOO CrAzED OuT BuT i LOves It I HopE DANGER WiNS
i love Chardonnay,danger,Feisty and !&!`(@`~^%+#~+*~ tail.
is caviar a man?
i hope danger win…she sexi as hell
hello ray j how your day!good i hope so what happen to danger are she giong to make it on the show are you going to let her go.That ~(*~($++!@~#^@^$) is crazy you need sombody better then that boo!love you ray j i’m your biggest fan.
i would love to be on your show you sexy `@_+$%!@&`(+_)* hell i would love to meet you ray j.
ray needs a girl datz a mixture of everything such as, being classy knows how 2 get down have fun be a lady when its time to b 1 n be dere 4 him. he needs a gurl datz gone have his back 4 him n gets alone with da family n a ldy datz down da earth. ya dig
ray needs a girl datz a mixture of everything such as, being classy knows how 2 get down have fun be a lady when its time to b 1 n be dere 4 him. he needs a gurl datz gone have his back 4 him n gets alone with da family n a ldy datz down da earth. ya dig ray u need danger
I THINK THAT ALL THESE SHOWS..THAT EVERYONE IS LOOKING FOR LOVE IS BULLCRAP.. ITS ALL STAGED..IF RAY J WANTS TO FIND LOVE WHY BROADCAST ALL OVER THE WORLD.. GO OUT AND LOOK FOR TRUE LOVE..HALF OF THOSE GIRLS WAS ON THERE JUST TO BE ON TV..NOT FOR RAY J…HOPEFULLY ^~!$@+$&#@~$*)~$ TAIL IS THERE FOR TRUE LOVE NOT TO HAVE THE FAM AND THE MONEY…XOXOXO…