For The Love Of Ray J Recap – Episode 3 – Seven Things We Loved About This Week’s Show

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In this episode something happens that absolutely shocks Chardonnay:

What it is we can’t say for sure, but here are two guesses: sobriety or discretion.

There’s one thing that sticks out above all else as the most lovable aspect of this week’s episode of For the Love of Ray J.

- This:

To which I say: HA! For the Love of Ray J may look a little slicker and more blinged out than standard VH1 fare, but make no mistake: this is a show very much in the tradition of what came before it. In fact, let’s count off the ways this episode reminded us of Celebreality past.

There was the whole, let’s-expose-the-girl-who’s seeking exposure thing (as seen a million times, but it hasn’t been so…literary since Heather during the first season of Rock of Love)…

Then, Chardonnay and Cocktail shared their findings with Ray J during a special post-date pow-wow they prepared for him, a la 12 Pack and Real during the first season of I Love New York

Setting up such a scene to deliver such unsexy info was a bit of a bait and switch, though. Or is that ‘bate and switch?

There was the division of girls into two distinct cliques, which were, in the words of Unique, the “classier girls”…

…and the “whores”…

Repeat: these are Unique’s words. We’d never call the girls “whores”…even if we really, really felt inclined to do so. Anyway, this is reminiscent of the first season of Rock of Love, when the ladies divided themselves into “slutty girls” and “bitchy girls,” as well as Rock of Love Bus, wherein Pink stands for “maybe you’ll get to see some if you’re lucky,” and Blue shares its first letter with “boring.”

Where Danger falls in Unique’s binary is uncertain. But you know what is certain?

She’s not here to make friends. Literally! Her exact quote was, “Ray wants a woman here for him, not here to make friends.” This is reminiscent of, oh, every reality show ever!

Ray J’s earnestness and his continued pledge that each week elimination gets harder is ripped straight out of The Bret Michaels Guide To Appearing Sensitive.

That’s the homey he should have shouted out to, not Flavor Flav.

Finally, there was this:

Uh, Kristy Joe much, Stilts?

However, it’s not all familiar — instead of keeping the possibly married girl around for maximum drama, Ray J instead let her go.

So there is deviation. You just have to know where to look for it.

But that’s just the tip of the favorite iceberg. There was also…

- Ray J’s rain fixation:

When I saw this list of places where Ray J most likes getting busy…

…I was like, “Oh my god, that sounds so much like the lyrics to an R&B song.” Especially the rain part. And then when we saw Ray J in the studio and heard what he was singing…

…it turned out that I was completely and utterly correct. Sometimes I impress myself

- This week’s obligatory sex-tape reference:

Foxy Feud host and Ray J’s “personal friend” Tommy Davidson said: “I’m glad to be here. I saw your movie.” Ray J sighed as though he was ashamed. As though it wasn’t a big (!) draw for any of the girls on this show that actually saw it. We know you’re proud, Ray. Own it.

- Ray J’s favorite methods of relaxation:

Was anyone as surprised as I was that “Doin’ it, and doin’ it and doin’ it well,” didn’t make the list? Maybe that was too long? Similarly…

…was it not also surprising that booty ranked so low? Perhaps that’s why it didn’t work out with Kim K?

- Caviar’s complete and utter misguidedness:

Friend:

Cav:

This was right before she said that this show wasn’t going to be like all the other shows. So, she’s lost basically. Also, did she even realize that she was on camera? Did her stage-mom-esque photographer friend? Because if he did, it surely was a huge mistake to say this to her:

If this is going to be your attitude about reality TV, at least be quiet about it.

- The best quote of the week:

Stacks on Danger: “She’s built like a Pepto Bismol bottle. Like, (gesturing) up and down, no curves…” I might not agree with the sentiment…

…but I love the imagery. Pepto bottle? Who says that? Stacks is quickly proving to be a keeper.

- The other best quote of the week:

It’s just getting worse…and worse…and even more bad.

Ditto on Feisty.

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  1. blah says:

    i think that chick +$+@%%*$@))^$#“ tail is mentally unstable. she’s always making some crazy gestures/ticks and crying for no reason. then accusing someone of washing dishes with her lofa! WTF!
    you gotta watch out for this one ray…she’s not all there.

  2. kita says:

    girl u are the )#$%!$`()~^%!+*+ on the show make them bitces hate and get ur man

  3. Channie says:

    I was actually surprised that one of Ray J’s top relaxation methods wasn’t drinking. I mean, com’n!! This dude has his own champagne!! DON’T LIE, RAY J!! DON’T LIE!!

  4. nelly says:

    i just want to say stack is )*+!&_^%%+~%+#!*( she just jelous of danger because ray j is showing danger more attention

  5. King Colby says:

    I love how Ray played it and made *@#_%~*^)$`!+^$@ tail snitch in front of al the girls. It really up her out thereand showed how she likes to bend the truth. Good playa move Ray. That going to come back and bite her in her *@`!@_~%^@&_@(+ She’s a Kim K wanna be anyway. Speaking of playa moves, i loved when Danger brushes the other girls off her shoulder and made them look straight stupid on the show. Quit hatin girls, Dangers runnin s@#t.

  6. Regina says:

    i think danger is nasty!!!
    he just likes her cuz her tat on her
    i think that is nasty she aint pretty
    with her puffy $*(_%`&())^&!^` hair lol……

  7. kimosabe says:

    “Danger” is pretty, Regina. She’s got everything a man would want, sweetness and LOOKS, her LUSCIOUS Lips, TANTALIZING Eyes, BIG Soft Curly hair, and a VOLUPTUOUS Body, oh yeah she ain’t Kim Kardashian but”Dangers” SLAMMIN’ beautiful in her own way and that’s what men like, EXOTIC rare find women. On the other hand, “Chardonnay” is GOOD LOOKIN’ herself with that BANGIN” BOOTY and Sexual Style,her features reminds me of a cross between Angela Bassett(attitude) and Brandi(eyes), Fortunate combination their. Overall I think Latin and Black women are “DROP Dead GORGEOUS” they have alot to offer a man, I MEAN ALOT! Lovin’ them.

  8. gigitty gigitty says:

    Chardonnay is funny. I like her. Stacks is ugly and her weave is NOT cute. She kpet saying she was gonna curse Danger out but didn’t do anything. She a punk. Danger is a G for playin’ those girl when they came up to her. I agree, co_ktail is (@~_~&~))!@!%+)^~) ED. She needs to be deleted off the show.

  9. Marcellus Garvin says:

    Why did you eliminate Stihts? At least she told you the truth. Caviare is fake.

  10. Vetstatus says:

    All I want to know is did they screen any of these Broads before they were selected??? We can’t even get to the romance and catfights because all the episodes are basically “I’m here to get discovered or I got a man at home.” What do these people tell their jobs while their gone? They can’t possibly have a career. I guess I’m even madder at myself because I continuously tune in to watch, We are basically watching the Flavor of Love over and over and over again. Can we please get a NEW CONCEPT VH1.

  11. michelle mccoy says:

    dear ray j i know its hard to pick women you what i think you should bring in mother and sister to see how get long with your family just try it from your fan michelle mccoy from las vegas nv 9020 national park dr las vegas nv 89178 thank you may god bless you.

  12. l.shanks says:

    ray j you did the right thing now prove you still have a brain and get rid of cavier.

  13. wildjuicy69 says:

    Ray J. You need a good woman that can be there when you need to relax and massage you down and make sure she got an hot meal waiting for you. and know how to be a woman in public and an freak in the bedroom. So Ray you need to holla at me. my email is wildjuicy69@yahoo.com bye smooches.

  14. Kitty444 says:

    I think he’s just looking for girls to have sex with :/ b/c it’s not like the other love searching reality shows. Like, if he was really trying to get to know them, then he wouldn’t have gotten all excited when chardonnay was splitting and shaking her _+*~!&`~@@+_^&( and he wouldn’t have made a little “web cam” date. He just wants to make another sex tape. oh yeah, and @$#+~_$^@+^%(%+# tail is snitch azz B-word

  15. Seducitive says:

    how can u become a contestent on ur show cause im ready to be loved by you..

  16. Tikeija Johnson says:

    All i got to say is that the girls need to watch out for DANGER or they will end up going off the show. They might want to put her off, but i got too say don’t be hating on what she got and what yall don.t got.

  17. Lovely says:

    Ladies, you don’t know me from Adam but please allow me to try and help bring alot of you ladies back to earth. Not in this lifetime would I ever allow a man to put me through challenges to win a date for “a day” with him. Not in this lifetime would I allow a man to place his paws on me for a moment without him putting his time in on getting to know me. I will be damn if I stand before a man unless he is Jesus waiting for him to cast me out. I am proud of him for all the success he as achieved. He’s an entertainer, Not Jesus!

  18. rhondasexy2 says:

    all them other b*^%$es is stupid. unique think she is all that but my girl danger got this whole show in the bag. they aint got nothing on her thats why they spend all their time hating on her….

  19. kenya gunether says:

    caviar is such the fakest )_&$!~`+*~*+*~)~@ i ever saw on the show.how you gonna try to play ray j in his own house u dum ~*+`*#$#_#&!!!& )_&$!~`+*~*+*~)~@

  20. Jasmine says:

    Hey Ray,you must keep Danger, Why? because she’s loyal and sincer and she’s not phony either.Do not listen what other people said about her, like last monday when you were hanging in the club with your friend , i don’t like what they said because nobody is perfect, at least she told the true . the girls want you to send her home. please Ray follow your heart, please do not choose someone you will regret.Because i watched the showed every monday , i can see who truly here for you and not.

  21. Lil S says:

    i rollin wit ya girl DANGER everybody kno she the stuff thats y they hatein specially Uniqu but the only thing she can say is home girl iss crazy well i would be to if i wanted a man n was competting with other girl n how many times did she LIE on the test yea REMEMBER THAT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1

  22. jackie says:

    danger is obviously the one whom should win homegirl is mad beautiful; smart talented and ray j is feeling her more than the other women there and unique is such a hattin +*__#+_%+_(_$$@~@ i cannot stand that girl what is with that freeking hair she looks like a pharmacutical bleached poodle resembles a luffa sponge she is tacky as hell she dresses so ugly like a librarian she is preety in the face but god knows what the grill looks like without makeup scraey ($_##_#^#($+(^$ dog woof woof is what i say about unique get it together girlfriend acc animal care and control is down the block go fetch a bone poodle head

  23. juicy says:

    these +_$(%%!^&(%((+@)_ es are crazy!!

  24. juicy says:

    Ray, i kno that you want to keep Danger….i don’t blame you, that girl is the +`!~+^+*$+`#&!`# lol. but…i think you should listen to your mom. mothers kno best!!

  25. kee-kee F. Baby says:

    i dont think u shoulda picked @@%_!$#((&^@%%^% tail u shoulda picked danger….shes pretty n she doesnt just want your money…she fell in love with u n she was the best looking one there…unique is fat n ugly n she scary i dont like her either.. she also need 2 stop lyin so much…cocktail was cool n a party girl… u a bumb 4 dat 1 ray although i luv ur music…u would b better off wit danger..

  26. Mechelle says:

    I love the show For the love of Ray J. Even though i wood hav ben the best 4 him………. But i thought u shoul hav picked the girl dat always do the split…..That was the bomb

  27. shone says:

    i love this show