For The Love Of Ray J Recap – Episode 4 – Seven Things We Loved About This Week’s Show

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Never forget…

…Ray J is watching…

…intently!

Obviously, the most outstanding thing to love about this week’s episode was:

- The performances.

Every last “Giving Him Something He Can Feel“-esque one! Not since the first season of Rock of Love have any of these shows tapped into the universal truth of this episode: forcing non-musicians to make music = comedy gold. Why don’t more shows do this? Do you know that I still sing Magdalena’s phone-sex challenge ditty to myself on the regular? (All together now: “Once I received a phone call from L.A…”) And what about Rodeo’s “Rainbow of Never-Ending Love?” That song is not a greatest hit; it is the greatest hit. Seriously, it’s the best song ever thought up. Ever.

(And yeah, I guess they rapped during the hip-hopera on Flavor of Love 3, but rapping doesn’t have nearly the comic effect of singing unless it’s done by, like, old white ladies. In other words: come back soon now, ya hear, Rodeo?)

Anyway! You want gold?

How’s Danger at her Lil’ Kimmiest doing what sounds like an impression of a tranquilized Jennifer Tilly? How about Lil’ Hood dubbing her competitors “shadays?” What about Cashmere singing, period?

That expression on her face looks what she sounds like. Well, at least the visual matches the audio, you know?

And then, there was Unique, who’ll remind you that she’s a singer till she’s blue in the face, and then act like she’s run out of oxygen whenever it’s time for her to actually sing.

Since Unique certainly didn’t, Cocktail said it best:

In the end, Danger’s Team, the Exoticas, was disqualified for being so damn sucky (seriously, they’re dismissed before deliberation is over), which narrowed it down to the boob-shaking, booty poppin’ trio of Norwood’s Finest, and the choking over-confidence of the LaBelles. Despite being chastised by guest judge Willie Norwood, Sr. (aka Ray J’s daddy), Norwood’s Finest took it, proving that wiggling and jiggling crosses generation lines, consternation be damned. Willie knew it was wrong, but it felt so right.

For being MVP, as it were, Cocktail’s reward was a solo date with Ray J. Except I almost just typed “…solo date with Bret…” For you see…

…he serenaded her on it, in a scene much like the one between Bret and Jes in the restaurant during the first season of Rock of Love. The winner of a Rock of Love-esque challenge gets a Rock of Love-esque prize. Makes sense! Bret didn’t exactly croon to Jes about her blue heels as Ray J did to Cocktail, but whatever: close enough.

Other things we loved included:

- The crowd’s reaction to the girls’ performances.

The only place this fingers-in-ears response could be appropriate (besides a kindergarten assembly) is on reality TV. It’s always a beautiful thing when people find their medium, you know?

- The Kim K., reference.

Responding to Caviar’s lack of enthusiasm and charisma during the challenge, Ray J said, “My ex-girl did better on Dancing With the Stars, baby.” Not only was this a dig at Kim Kardashian’s disastrous showing on that series (third eliminated!), but it sufficed as a tangential sex-tape reference on an episode otherwise free of them. Score two for Ray J!

- Caviar’s charisma.

She may not be much of a stage performer, but that doesn’t mean she can’t move.

Down to the wire, with elimination looming, Caviar stepped up her game by servicing Ray with the attention he seems to crave. However, it wasn’t enough! For her frequent calls to her “photographer” “Chicago Larry,” as detailed on a phone bill Ray J was able to magically produce…

…Caviar got the boot, and it was a hard, pack-your-s***-and-get-the-f***-out boot, at that. (Need I once again point out the Bret homage?) See what happens when you use sex to save a relationship?

Anyway, as last words go, Caviar’s were stellar:

“Ray J was kinda too short for me, anyways,” said Caviar. Score one for Caviar! (And some shoe-lifts for Ray…)

- Chicago Larry.

How creepy is he?

So creepy, he’s creepy in the third person!

Larry speaks with what sounds like intent to molest. You know who he sounds like with that sing-songy, upward lilting mutter? Jargon Scott, the creeperton who called former MTV show hosts and sock puppets Sifl and Olly once, trying to sell them legless dogs (“They’re like cuddly throw pillows!” “They’re like hats with personality!”). If you have no idea what I’m taking about, forward to about 7:50 in this video (but shhh! Don’t tell my parent company that it’s on YouTube!).

Anyway, even though we have a good idea what Chicago Larry looks like, here’s how I choose to imagine him on the other end of Caviar’s calls:

It’s just more fun that way, you know? Plus, it really fits in with the whole sock-puppet revolution that VH1′s been undergoing lately. With socks filling the airwaves, this network may never have to pay talent again!

- Lil’ Hood’s desperation.

Guuurl. Early in the episode we heard the rapper-remixer say, “I’m gonna do what it takes to get what I want.” In that context, it meant getting in the hot tub with her dress on, for fear that Ray J would have left if she went to put on her swimsuit.

When someone says, “I don’t know how long I’m going to be around,” after you’ve just offered to shed 80 percent of what’s covering your body, the hint is yours for the taking.

But Lil’ Hood, it would seem, has emotional butterfingers.

I mean, has ever a picture that didn’t feature Jennifer Aniston screamed, “He’s just not that into you,” like the one above does? Lil’ Hood attempted to pry a kiss out of Ray J. In interview, she recalled him has being unable to resist her; he recalled it as a “sympathy peck.” Sympathy is the right idea: poor, clueless Lil’ Hood.

His response? “Yeah…OK.” He’s not laughing at her jokes or amused by the remix CD she gave him. In the car on the way back to the mansion after their date, he told Lil’ Hood that she was acting way too confident about the looming elimination. She cried in response and then, when recounting the story, claimed he did the same.

I have a feeling that things are not going to go well for Lil’ Hood. She may be about to get hit…and not where she sits.

- This:

Ray says this “harder and harder” for Ray every week, this gif kinda makes you wonder exactly what “this” is referring to. Never forget that watching this show is basically watching a grown-up kid in a candy store.

Related content
For the Love of Ray J show page
For the Love of Ray J videos and extras

  1. fashion crackhead says:

    LOL!!!!!!!! OMG…the larry puppet!!! Loooove it!!

  2. LeSa-MaRiE says:

    OMG! The Larry guy freaks me completely Out!..he’s got this creepy stalker like voice thats just makes you wanna hide under your bed..LoL & Poor Lil’ Hood..girl needs to quit acting so..whats the words I’m looking for..Out there..she just needs to take a step back and quit throwing herself on him..By The Way..LOVE the sock puppet Larry!!

  3. ladylo says:

    you are so crazy for this show get yo paper on lady-lo

  4. Keesh says:

    Damn boo I just finish watching the show and you had me screaming I like how you did Caviar cuz she tried to play my boo you did just right. Larry his voice is scary to me Im glad shes gone now you got to get rid of everyone else and come find me in your helicopter. Just kidding I was just fantasizing for a moment but sweety your are so real and so is lil b I like her.Lil B seems to be cool and down to earth Im glad shes on the show to help you make decisions. Ray J last time I saw you in person was at Spring Bling in Rivera Beach,Fl at the phantom Im lokking forward to seeing you again this year be safe sweety and stay prayed up cause like you said the world is cold thats why you keep a coat on I Love That S#@t well until next time love you

  5. Keesh says:

    Ray J I been reading the comments and you got a lot of people on here hatin on you but thats their muth#$%@! job let they a$$ hate. Everything about you is fly to me baby you got so much SWAG and dont the opinions of these inconsiderate people make you think different that goes for the females on the show also yall doin yall thing, and i say that because I be tring to rush home to catch I stay looking at re runs just doing )$%(!)(%^~*@_)($ I dont usually do just to tune in to you. Remember this Katt say if you got 41 haters today you need to be working on trying to figure out how to have 51 of them muth%%$ tommorrow. Love You Boo

  6. Laycee says:

    I sure hope that he picks the right girl, unless of course its not really even for “the love” of Ray J, and everything is about ratings. Cause he sure has some scandalous girls on there, that aren’t out for anything except air-time, and attention. Lets not forget what Hoopz did to Flav!!!! Besides RayJ is way tooooo hot to be on tv trying to get a girl.

  7. Shorty a StaR says:

    I think Mr. Ray J a hot mess but funny as hell. I would love to be on this show. I think I could top those hoe’s lol.

  8. Shawndra says:

    What is the name of the song Ray was singing to $*%^~%$^()*+!!+` tail?

  9. Delight says:

    I personal think Chicago Larry is a pimp….

  10. KELLY.! says:

    i like this episode lol i like the gif of @!!_`^`!_$__**^# tail

  11. benjamin says:

    I THING RAY J IS A ~!+*(%^&^)`*~$)^# AFTER BEING WITH THAT JOKYI HE’S NOW FINDING HIM SELF NEW CHACK.YO RAY J YOUR NAME SHOULD HAVE BEEN PULULU ~!+*(%^&^)`*~$)^# HHHHHHHH YEE MEN.

  12. Howard says:

    Let’s keep it real. Ray J was and is a has been. This show is just more of him being a mediocre entertainer. The highlight of his career was the sex tape with Kim the slut Kardashian. He’s not going to find love until way after the 3rd or 4th season (if his shows runs that long). These girls are all in it for exposure and money.

  13. itasia says:

    whats the name of the dress with the red and white at the first ceremony – eliminations

  14. FLAWDABABII says:

    Was the song Rayj singing to +_+@&)^(`#_@&#*+ tail a real song on one of his albums or was he just singing it to her? if its one of his songs whats the name??

  15. anonymous says:

    Who seriously watches this lame show? I like VH1 but this show is pathetic!

  16. kataja says:

    im glad caviar went home she got on my nerves i could not %$*`^^%~+&`~++` perhend a word she was saying. and,uniq should go home next she is not thier for ray danger is the one for ray i think but,that may just be my opinoin.
    “shout out to danger”

  17. manny says:

    and to all yall other bloggers (dont hate)

  18. vanessa says:

    the show sucks because slutty #)+(*@~$**@+&~$ ed danger walks around like she is the &_!`&~`_@#!~~)+# U can tell that she has won already. Especially since she’s pregnant

  19. Amber says:

    i love this show RayJ is so freaking sexie,,,,,,,,,,,

  20. shawna says:

    you dont need them girls go find somebody who is worth your time

  21. Tanaisha says:

    you mad funny lilhood u down wit ma anyday

  22. MICKEY says:

    RAY IF YOU HAVE STOPPED DATING *`~_!*!&!@^**&(@ TAIL YOU ARE AN IDIOT YOU SHOULD HAVE GAVE HER TRY AND SEEN HOW FAR YALL RELATIONSHIP WOULD HAVE GONE AND CAVIAR YOU ARE NASTY AND YOU NEED TO GO GET SOME SPEECH LESSONS AND MAYBE YOU SHOULD BE MORE CAREFUL OF WHO YOU ARE TALKING TO BECAUSE YOU WILL NEVER KNOW WHO KNOWS WHO AND WHILE YOU WERE TALKING TO LARRY YOU SHOULD HAVE ASKED HIM IF HE KNEW RAY BECAUSE YOU WOULD HAVE PROBABLT STAYED ON THE SHOW AND YOU WOULDNT HAVE BEEN LOOKING AS STUPID WHEN YOU WERE TOLD TO LEAVE THE HOUSE.

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