Jennifer Gimenez’s Sober House commentary continues! Below, the house mother talks about her own experience with amends, Rodney’s dreams of running his own sober house and what she thought about Nikki’s performance.
So David orders Mary a drink at Swingfest. What did you think of that? Was it validation for all your suspicions about him?
Yeah, it proved everything everyone had been saying about him to her, from Dr. Drew to me to everyone in the house to herself. It’s like when someone who’s been swearing to you that he’s not a thief gets caught stealing. At this point, David is showing who David really is. It’s not even about belittling or bashing at this point, he’s just contrary to Mary’s goal of sobriety.
We see Andy making a series of amends throughout this episode. What was that experience like for you?
It’s good that you’re asking my experience, because it’s premature for him to make amends. It’s Step 9, which means you have to go through the other eight to get to it, as far as the 12-Step community goes. Even then, making amends is an ongoing process – to some people, you make amends for the rest of your life. It has been such a humbling experience for me. If I’m making amends and I say, “I’m sorry about this, is there anything you want me to do,” and they reply, “If you see me on the street, walk across the street and don’t look back,” I have to do that. I’ve been so fortunate, though. People have been loving and accepting, and that’s not always the way it’s going to be. And you have to hear people out, too. After you’ve said what you have to, you ask: “Is there anything else that I did that I’m not aware of?” And then they tell you. You always think the easiest ones are going to be the people you love the most, but they always turn out to be the most difficult. When I asked my mom if there was anything else I’d done, she went, “OK, Jenny. Lemme tell ya…” and then just went on and on. The whole process requires you to swallow your ego.
Despite it being premature, Drew seemed to think that Andy did well with his amends.
He did. It takes someone who’s really hit the bottom to want to restore their life back to sanity and heal his wounds. It’s a really big step. You can see how someone like Mary is still in it, while someone like Andy wants to get better. This show focuses on different variations of people’s recovery.
Rodney seemed really motivated to set up his own sober living but then the visit to his house changed everything.
I think that look on his face said, “Oh. This is really my life.” At this point, he was realizing where he was really at. It’s like me going, “Oh, I wanna get skinny,” and then I look and I’m 220. I’m now my normal size and in my 140′s, but it took six months for me to get here. It’s all a process.
When Steven said he didn’t want to perform with Nikki and was acting otherwise irritable, did you suspect that he was high?
I started seeing Steven pull away a couple of days before that. You see someone relapse before they relapse, you know? You see it in their expressions and disassociation. I wasn’t sure, though. I thought maybe he could just be uncomfortable. Everyone in that house was uncomfortable in their own skin. Steven’s irritability did show through when he was visiting with his wife and for me that was just a big, “Uh oh.”
How was it being there for Nikki, watching her perform on the anniversary of her mother’s death?
It was such an overwhelming emotional experience. You saw us crying. It was such a tough day. If you’ve ever lost someone you’ve loved, the anniversary puts you in such an uncomfortable place. I lost my father, he was 47 when he passed away. That was 10 years ago, and the anniversary just passed a few weeks ago. I was a mess. People say, “It’ll go away,” but it doesn’t. It just lessens, and when it hits you, it hits you like it’s something that happened two minutes ago. For Nikki to write a song about her mother and perform it, it’s such a huge accomplishment. What a way to heal. Nikki’s an inspiration. She really is.
Check out what Dr. Drew had to say about this week’s episode here.
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18 responses to to Jennifer’s Side Of Sober House – Episode 8
Jen, why are you telling Seth you love him after only knowing him a few weeks? Why are you all lounging in your bed? You’re the house mother, what about the rules against men and women not crossing over to each other’s bedrooms? Your bedroom doesn’t count? I’m not sure you are fit to run a sober house. You seem to fall in love easily, and take everyone elses words as serious. I hope Steven is not high, but I think he might be a little confused going from playing with Guns N Roses, to playing with Nikki. He said it himself “karoke”. He’s right.
I cant get over the song Nikki wrote and performed, I love it beyond words. That song will speak to your heart if you let it! I hope would love to know if there is a public copy of her performing this song I can not say how much I LOVE LOVE LOVE the song! I lost my dad and my sister in the same year and that song was exactly how I was feeling! All of you keep up the good work!
Karen,
IMO the word love or level of feelings connected with the word love comes from a soft tender place in the heart…It’s not always about having a sexual, long term or family relationship. Literly the word “love” has such a different meaning for each and everyone of us. I was raised in a family that used the word “love” all the time, the total opposite of my spouse. I came to realize that my spouse has zero compassion for anyone (foolish me)…. IMO Jennifer has a very big heart and is a very maternal compassionate girl. The lounging on the bed reminded me of my friends spending bonding time or consoling each other…nothing else. I admire people that radiate that type of love and friendship. I think she makes a perfect house mother and would love to see alot more of her on TV long after this season ends.
How about a show called “house mother”
I hate to see this season almost end. It was way to short. Everyone has tugged at my heartstings in such different ways. I can’t help but love each of them for such different and such similar reasons. I hope that they all have so much success in thier personal careers and thier personal recovery. Opening up your lives in front of us is not only courageously brave but healing. You have helped more people then you can imagine.
God Bless You All!
Nikki’s song Inconsolable hit me hard. My mother is dying of dementia, and that song said everything I feel. I need to know where to get a copy of the song as soon as possible. I know there are a lot of feelings I haven’t dealt with and I’m not quite ready to share them with anyone, but that song is SO healing for me. I want to somehow email Nikki and tell her thank you.
To the previous post: She’s the house mother, she said from the beginning that her bedroom didn’t count. She can do what she wants. I think it’s great that they are all so comfortable with each. And saying that she loves Seth by no means indicates that she is IN LOVE with him. I love lots of people. And, living in a sober house is enough to make anyone extra close, extra fast. They are each others complete support system and lifeline right now. Jen may be a little over-dramatic sometimes, but who wouldn’t be in her position? Just get off her back.
Watching Rodney go home reminded me of myself . It was such a punch in the nose to see where I had taken myself.
I ended up losing my house, cars,worst of all,my cats. I moved into my mom’s house and had another disaster area to deal with. This was three years ago. through work I’ve been able to put together some space where I can work on guitars [my vision].
All I can say is don’t drink and go to meetings and things will get better.
It sounds so trite ,however it does work.
It has been great to see Sober House on Vh1. I have been sober now for 4 years. My drug of choice was Opiates. The help of a methadone maintenance program made all the difference to me. It seems like a program like that would help Steven. Do you think it would be better for him to be addicted to methadone than street heroin. A program would give him a dose a doctor perscribed and a nurse administers. And with blind doseing he would not be “chasing” a number. Jennifer what is your view on methadone for people like Steven. P.S.Love the show ,your doing a great job!!
i just wont nikki to know her song about her mother touched me, my mom died 3 years ago but seems like it was just today. her song but me into tears. made me feel that i was not alone. you have such a gift that touches people in pain and lets them heal. thanks nikki you made me a little stronger by just hearing your song. please keep singing you are amazing. i know your mom is so very proud of you. thanks so very much
Happy to be recovering from the deadly disease of addiction for 3 1/2 yrs, meth and crack for 10yrs and alcohol for 37. I personally feel everything you all go thru every episode! This show helps me remember where I have been and where I’ll never go again. My props to all who have the willingness to quit the insanity. Life is wonderful in recovery. You have to be ready to expect the unexpected and embrace it as Gods will. Thank Jesus for every breath and always look forward and forgive yourself for the past. God is the higher power and he will be with you if you embrace what he can do in your life. At 54 yrs old it is hard to start over, I have nothing but God and family and thats enough. Life on lifes terms sucks but you can do it, all who want it. Thank you so very much Dr. Drew, lucky are those in your care. And thanks for bringing it to all of us who are watching.
Hey Jenifer, Thanks for your answer about Andy and his amends. I was watching and was about to lay into the show on the site but low and behold you nailed it. That shrink needs to be careful what he suggests on air. Hopefully someone will tell Andy to cool it on air so that 1. he slows down thru the process but 2. so others watching don’t get the wrong idea about recovery. “what?….an order?…..I can’t go thru with it.” We love you Andy! Back up buddy. Beep, Beep, Beep. There are two parts of the first step and it’s the only one you have to get RIGHT. Good job with the house Jenifer.
dear Jennifer,
If you read this I hope you continue to try to get Andy back on a more gradual path. I know you are friends. If he tries to make up for everything he has done, he will get sidetracked and might relapse. Andy needs to work on ALL of his issues. He can’t undo the past, but he can be a good person going forward.
I just want to say that I think this show is wonderful. It’s heartbreaking to see such amazing people go through this, but it is so inspiring to so many people. Jenn, I think you’re awesome, and I think everyone in the house is also. Just truly inspiring people…I wish the best for everyone.
xoxo
I THINK THE SHOW WAS AWESOME REALLY MADE ME TAKE A SECOND LOOK AT MYSELF I HOPE ALL THESE PEOPLE WILL MAKE IT IN LIFE
Jen I truly belive that you are one strong minded women and your some one others can look up to and see there is a better life for all who want it. you dont need to be high to laugh and have fun, we need to feel and pain as much as hurt and anger, and you showed that.keep rockin babe. i hope to see more of you.
OMG! I just watched this for the first time…watched four episodes. Talk about living in the land of entitlement! Refusing to do simple, every day tasks because they are ‘beneath’ them, talking in a way that no one in the world would accept, and disrespecting the people who are trying to help. First off, kick out Heidi and Mr. Sizemore. Too much history in one place, and Dr. Drew knows it and uses the drama to sell the show, not to treat the people. Embarrassing to everyone in the field who actually does the work to make the life possible for an addict. Shame on you. Ditch them now, and gain credibility. maybe. I’m not sure that would help, after this. How did he sell the other episodes I’ve never seen. I’m embarrassed for the profession, and for him. Sorry, Jen, you are a treasure, working with no backup. Dump him and go where your work and dedication would be appreciated.
I have been sober since August 16, 1988. I have to say Dr. Drew you should be ashamed of what you said to Jennifer about her behavior towards Mike. I came off of 80 mg of Methadone in 28 days and then went to Sober living where I had to work a regular job,go to meetings and have a sponsor and that’s what kept me sober. There was no Dr. Drew kissing `)_$`+`^@#!*%!_ and coming down on staff.
You allow their abusive behavior to escalate with no consequences. That girl was being verbally abused by those spoiled brats every time she turned around.
I became a house mother two and half years after I sobered up. I gave the residents a lot of respect, love, and understanding until they could give it to themselves but I would not tolerate abuse in any form towards me or anyone else. Heidi got loaded. The rules in sober living are if you use, you have twenty four hours to be out. Heidi is not there for Heidi. She is there to see what Tom is doing and to turn all that hate and anger towards him. That house is a joke. The craze’s are running the asylum. I thought in the beginning that you were not only serious about what you were doing but that you also knew what you were doing. This season you lost it over ratings. I hope you can live with the consequences of one of these residents overdosing because they are living the same way they did when they were using. Your sacrificing peoples lives for ratings. How sick is that.
Please please please dear god stop covering or showing anything with Jennifer in it. she is not compelling, interesting or an any manner entertaining at all. stick with the celebs and please please please i beg you guys no more Jennifer!!! im a long time watcher of the show and recently i have been turned off the more you show if Jenifer>>>>>>who cares about her!!!!!