Before we get to the things we loved, here’s one thing we hated:
We’ll never again get to watch Feisty do this on TV. Well, not till she’s cast on a spin-off, at least.
Leaping to the top of our list of things we loved about this week’s episode is…
- That Unique vs. Danger fight
Look, we’re not gonna say that Danger isn’t crazy. She’s said it herself explicitly and implicitly…
She’s even said it with her eyes.
But while she played it cool, Unique was the one who ended up looking crazed. Letting your trademark mane of hair swoop and flutter all around as you rant at someone else for being crazy isn’t the best way to make your case, you know?
Although, crazy or not, mad props to Unique for coming up with, “You climb trees at 4 a.m. You’re f***ing retarded.” That is a line for the ages. Between accusing Danger of being 40, potential arson and then getting mad at Ray when he didn’t rush to her side after the blow-up, Unique put on quite a show.
And to think it all stemmed from a sub-junior high conversation between Danger and Unique that basically went, “I don’t like you.” “I don’t like you either.” “I’m not here to make friends!” Like I said: we expect it from Danger, but it was an extremely eye-opening turn from Unique. To quote the oddly insightful Chardonnay on this matter: “Unique has this whole good-girl, churchy, oh-I-wear-stockings-with-all-my-skirts, like this whole little act. And it’s like, now you changing. You all ghetto and stuff. All, ‘Don’t do that! Don’t talk to me!” Of course, this just makes us like Unique more as a character. We didn’t know she had that kinda drama in her.
Continuing with a related thing we loved from this episode…
- This shot of Danger:
It’s so amazing, it needs to stand on its own as an item. This was her reaction to Unique accusing her of being the type to burn down Ray’s house. She looks more like the type to go on a killing spree over the course of a horror-film franchise. She seriously looks like a Cabbage Patch Kid possessed with the spirit of Chucky. Extremely well-played. I’m scared and I’m nowhere near her.
When we heard this week’s challenge would involve children and pancakes, this scene from Cabin Fever immediately sprung to mind:
Thanks to Danger, it was something almost as bizarre.
You know that when she finally got her griddle together, as it were, and started burning the hell out of those pancakes…
…it was all a way of punishing everyone around her. A bid, perhaps, to knock out a competitor via asphyxiation?
You know Danger: always strategizing.
And how amazing was it that Feisty was made hostess since she works at Hooters? She must be an expert at dealing with churchgoers and children alike, then! And how amazing was the fact that the very act of making pancakes was initially daunting to most of these women?
It’s pretty great that a kid was able to sum up this whole ordeal in a sentence:
If you’re interested in recapping, kid, give us a shout!
- Ray’s competition!
“Do you want me to put you down?” asked Cocktail upon completing the challenge. “No,” said the child attached to her hip. If you’re interested in fronting an …Of Love show, kid, give us a shout!
- The return of Chardonnay
It’s been a while since we saw her do her thing. We didn’t realize how much we’d missed it.
- Feisty’s laugh
…the fact that she spent much of this episode without pants on…
…just everything about this girl, we’re really gonna miss her.
See you soon (we hope), Feisty! Until then, have fun lying on the beach and being tropical!
- Danger’s last words on Unique
That’s just to remind you of the level of maturity that we’re dealing with. But that’s not a complaint: we wouldn’t want it any other way.