Cocktail played hard on For the Love of Ray J, and now that she’s won her man, she’s loving him hard. Below, Ray’s reality find talks about the status of her relationship with Ray, her gold-digging reputation, her past on reality TV and why she understands where Ray’s mom was coming from when she said no girl in the Top 3 was right for him.
Did winning Ray’s heart feel like a major victory?
A little bit. The competition wasn’t too tough. (Laughs)
At what point did you know that you had it in the bag?
When it was down to the Final 5.
Even though Ray had that insane connection with Danger?
That was a little threatening. When it got down to the Top 3, I questioned things. I felt like maybe I was wasting my time. But in the end, Danger was too much of a risk, I think. With Unique, it could have gone either way, because I thought he might want to pick her for a better image, since she’s so goody two shoes and wholesome and grandma-ish. I have my party side, but at the same time, I’m educated.
What has your communication with Ray been like since the show wrapped?
If we don’t talk everyday, we at least text each other. We make a point to see each other at least twice a month. That’s just what our schedules can fit. He’s on the road and doing stuff, and lately, I’ve been on the road as well, with appearances and whatnot.
What’s the status of your relationship? Is he your boyfriend?
Yeah. He’s my boyfriend, and the fact that I’m not seeing my boyfriend as much as I’d like to is different from what I’m used to. I would love to see him everyday and have him come home to me every night. But that’s not what it is, and I have to take it for what it is. I’m patiently learning his lifestyle. I expected this, but I’m sad now that I’m going through it. But it just makes the times I see him even more special.
Do you see it continuing like this, or do you foresee a time when you’re closer?
I think there will be times when we see each other more than we do now. The time of the year and the hype of the show has a lot to do with it. Once the business dies down, I think we’ll be able to see each other a little more.
Do you love him?
I do. I’m in love with him. I’m head over heels. When I tell my girlfriends that they’re like, “Are you kidding me?” No, this is the only man in my life right now that can say anything to me and make me fall into tears. It takes someone that I care about to go through with that emotion and show my vulnerability. I know I cried every three seconds on the show, but I care about him so much that he can say anything, the sweetest thing, the most horrible thing, and I burst into tears. I’m so overwhelmed.
What do you love the most about him?
It’s cheesy, but the first thing that pops into my head is his heart and how affectionate he is. It’s a side that not a lot of girls get to experience. He’s flirty and good with the ladies, but behind closed doors or just when it’s me and him and he’s not putting on his Hollywood act, trying to be whatever image that he has to portray because he’s an entertainer, I feel that it’s a genuine, affectionate connection. That’s important because it’s the way I was raised: I’m very affectionate in my culture. I had no idea that he’s so caring.
Even though all the dating shows aim for love, it’s rare that it gets to that point via reality TV.
Tell me about it! I didn’t think I was going to fall as hard as I did. I figured I’d like him, and it’s a competition, but it got to the point where I can’t even watch the show anymore. I see Danger talking about him, and I see them kissing, and I start throwing stuff at the TV.
Was it hard dealing with the attention Ray was paying the other girls while in the house, as well?
Yeah. I’m the most impatient person you’ll ever meet in your life, and that’s something I had to learn. I stayed focused. I stepped back and had one-on-ones with Ray and thought a lot about why I was there. It’s hard: 14 girls and one guy? Patience is what I learned from this show.
You had your game face on. You worked actively to get some of the girls out of the house.
For sure! It’s strategy.
What did you think when that was turned on you and your participation on the Bad Girls Club became a plot point? Did you think you’d be eliminated?
No. The girls were kind of talking about it early on. When I entered the house, they told me I looked familiar. I kind of just drew the attention away from myself. I knew then that I would have to address it to Ray at some point, but I didn’t early on because I didn’t want him to think I was there for the wrong reasons. I knew that if nobody said anything and I was the first to later on, maybe he’d get to know me a little bit and not eliminate me because I was on another reality show. I thought I could at least get to the point where he gave me the benefit of the doubt.
That was good strategy, too. Any thoughts on being portrayed as a gold-digger on Bad Girls Club and then ending up with a guy who makes considerable bank on this show?
The whole gold-digger thing was honestly something I said to better my chances of getting on a show that I thought had a different purpose. I thought that by saying I was something I wasn’t, it would give me an image. I thought it was going to make me more of an interesting character for people to watch. That’s the only reason I said things like that. If I was really like that, I would come out in things that I say or my personality. I’m a social worker. I’m not into that. If you look back on my roster of ex-boyfriends, none of them are wealthy. None are famous. Nothing. I’m a down-to-earth type of gal. I don’t date men for their status. If people judge me on saying I’m a gold-digger three years ago, so be it. But it was for entertainment purposes. I wanted to be on TV. And it wasn’t even like I was a main character. I was a replacement, and I was boring.
Do you feel like this show allowed you to cultivate your personality more?
Definitely. Some of my sides were portrayed a little more intensely than the way I am realistically. But I was just explaining to my friend that if I was getting to know someone, it would be awesome for them to watch the show. It’s maybe like 80 percent of who I really am. I’m very loyal, even if they want to portray me as a snitch.
What did you think of Ray’s mom saying that no one on the show was right for him?
I thought she had every right and every reason to say what she said and think what she did. It’s not a realistic situation for you to find a good girl on a television show. Most people that want to be on TV are there for the wrong reasons. I respected that because it’s something my mother would say. It’s something I would say if I had a son. I respect her love for her son. She’s a great mom.
So where do you go from here with Ray?
We’re going to try to make it work. We take things as they come. We’re regular people. I know people are like, “He’s this big R&B artist, this big star,” but he’s just like me and you. He’s a regular person with regular feelings. We’re gonna make the best of this and if it works out, it’s better for me and him. We found what we always wanted, and it’s love.
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