Saaphyri for Paymaster! Saaphyri for President! Saaphyri for Queen of the World!
Here is the beautiful shot we open with:
You don’t even need to ask, “Who pissed in her tequila?” because it’s already clear: Myammee. And…others?
She has a lot of disdain and it’s a little confusing since she was spared last elimination (obviously), but you know what? Saaphyri’s entitled to her bitchy mood as long as it results in her carrying an episode as amazing as this one.
Saaphyri has an irrational sense of power at this point, but it will come to be supported by her victory in this episode’s challenge (spoiler alert!). Once again, reality TV proves that The Secret does work.
Saaphyri notes that Tailor Made’s pacing…
By voting off 20 Pack, Myammee has sort of turned on him, putting the future of his alliance (not to mention himself) in jeopardy. Ice and Prancer seem to cosign.
Ice announces there is no more alliance, and then interviews that she’s gunning for It and Tailor Made, but not before Saaphyri and Frenchie. At least she has her priorities straight!
Talking Craig Picture announces to the group that they’re going to “hang on” in today’s challenge, leading everyone to believe it will be a rerun of the stripper-pole challenge from last season. Prancer interviews that she’s scared that Frenchie will do well, since she has a lot of experience on the pole. The footage we supporting this claim…
…in fact, barely supports it at all. Oh well, at least we got to look at her ass again. That’s what’s really important. Just ask It:
…is what he tells Myammee after “practicing” the upcoming pole challenge.
I know it involves a pole, and I can see how you might call it “practicing,” but unless It has erectile dysfunction, there is no challenge involved in what he’s going for.
Meanwhile and just for the sake of future events, let me point out that Saaphyri is already onto the so-called Pretty Girl Alliance.
They are, indeed, and each weaved-in mane is more beautiful than the next!
The grubbers are shipped to the site of their challenge, where they discover they will not be hanging off stripper poles, but suspended life preservers.
The official name of the challenge is Hang On, Flav, and it’s based on the time on Flavor of Love that Flav was acting stupid (which: duh) and hanging off that lifeboat on his date with New York…
On being forced to wear a life jacket over her giant boobs, Frenchie says…
Trust her, she’s an expert in all things retauded.
The life preserves are lowered into the water, which means the grubbers have to dive in, grab one, and then be hoisted up to where they’ll hang above the water. Most people dive right in, but Myammee has a problem with the water.
Myammee interviews about getting her weave wet, even though I guess that it turns out that this is the kind of weave that you can get wet. I don’t know weaves from retaudation, so don’t ask me. I love that Myammee’s unwettable weave is her calling card; complaining about getting water in her hair is to Myammee what “You got it, dude!” was to Michelle on Full House. How (not) rude! Myammee eventually jumps in and then interviews about how disgusting and dirty the water is. Pshaw! It can’t be any nastier than VH1′s airwaves!
Once everyone’s in, they’re hoisted up.
As you can see, everyone has their leg through the hole of the life preserver, except for It.
I’m going to refrain from commenting and let Frenchie do it instead:
Indeed.
It interviews, “I’m just dumb,” about not putting his leg through the hole. At least he’s aware of it! That’s some wisdom right there. It soon falls first to become the Dead-Last Loser.
Soon after, Ice tumbles and then Myammee falls. At this point, Angelique elects to hang on only by her legs…
Just as Craig is complimenting Angelique’s strategy, she falls. Let’s check in with Angelique herself for her take on the situation:
There’s a stray shot of Prancer doing the same exact thing, which: copycat!
And also: dummycat! Prancer soon falls and breaks her leg (?) on the water (??)…
This means that only Saaphyri and Tailor Made are left. Saaphyri then launches into one of her trademark prayers…
Saaphyri says “bitch” so much to God that if she doesn’t watch, he’s going to wash her mouth out with cloud.
Tailor feels his strength starting to wane and so he tells the enfeebled Prancer to move from the space she’s been taking up in the water since falling.
Her point would have been more clearly articulated if she had sucked in some ocean so that when she went to speak only liquid came out. Or perhaps crap. According to Myammee, there’s plenty of that in the water. Whatever. T.M. falls, which means that against the laws of physics and logic, Saaphyri wins this challenge. “Y’all bitches better watch the hell out right now,” she warns, delivering her first (but certainly not last) amazing quote of the episode.
But before we start having fun and basking in Saaphyri’s singular speech pattern, Prancer’s gonna suck all the fun out of everything by whining about her probably fake injury.
I really don’t think that she actually said, “I’m hoping to die.” I think this is subtitling for effect. If she did say this, I wonder if she’s at least considered amputation first. Saaphyri, possessing at least a handful of brain cells, is not buying this. “This ain’t Season 1, and you ain’t Toasteee!” she interviews. Exactly! Prancer is so unlike Toasteee in every way. It’s not like Prancer posed nude and is now viewable all over the Internet in various states of undress. Wait, what?
Everyone returns home, except for Prancer, because she’s at the hospital. I wonder if it’s the real hospital or just the Hollywood facade they used on Empty Nest. Myammee and Tailor Made decide that they will be throwing Prancer in the box. Soon after this discussion Prancer does with a bandage on her leg.
“So yeah. I’ll just be sitting here,” she tells her “allies.” Not to be suspicious and draw attention to her worth as a lessened threat or anything.
Plotting begins. Saaphyri’s unexpected victory has thrown a wrench into the Underdogs’ plan of…well, not losing. Ice approaches Angelique with the suggestion of voting Tailor Made in the box. Ice reveals the Pretty Girl Alliance to Frenchie, which: dumb. To those people, secrets are like gas, just another thing openly unleash.
Ice says that the PGA wants to get rid of Tailor Made. “He saved me, though!” says Angelique.
That is so kind and loyal and genuine of her. How bizarre. She is not of this world. If you ever wondered if Angelique was an alien before, wonder no more. And why do I get the distinct feeling that she’s eating Kashi?
Saaphyri walks by and Ice asks who she wants to see in the box. Saaph says, “You already know,” and then interviews, “What a dumb question!” Saaph must have put that Indian hair of hers in LOLlers before the filming of this episode. Ice begins to explain that her alliance wants Tailor Made out, to which Saaphyri replies (via interview), “Blah blah blah blah blah. I heard that yesterday when I said, ‘Let’s put all the boys in the box.’” This woman is on a roll. Just put her in front of a camera (be it closed-circuit or otherwise) and have her talk and just broadcast that, VH1. Seriously. I love I Love Blah Blah Blah Blah Blah already.
Saaphyri lets Tailor Made know that people he still considers part of his lion are gunning for him. Tailor wants real proof. He gets just that when Saaphyri sits down the dining room table with Prancer, Ice and Angelique.
Little do the PGAs know that Tailor Made is lying on the couch but feet away.
Hey, Frenchie?
Why, thanks.
Saaphyri gets them to openly admit that they plan on voting Tailor into the box. No one ever checks if anyone just happens to be in this giant open space they’re talking crap in. Seriously, this happened last episode. The concept of accountability eludes these people entirely.
Upon hearing what’s effectively a confession from Ice and Prancer, Tailor pops up and says, “Thank you!” Prancer puts her head down…
…and Ice just sort of dies inside.
And outside, too, basically, as we’re about to see.
Later, Saaphyri and It argue in bed. She wants him to vote Myammee into the box, but he just sort of stammers in that burnt-out-but-was-it-ever-there-in-the-first-place, ahem…
…way of his.
Unsatisfied with his answer, Saaphyri tells him to get out of her room. She’s always saying that. It kinda loses its meaning after a while. Saaphyri is the girl who cried, “Room!” Anyway, It refuses, leaving Saaphyri pissed…
…and horny, apparently. After collapsing on the bed, turned away from It, she asks, “We gonna do it?” “Have sex?” It asks. Indeed. He agrees and then, I guess, they do it. Just because we don’t see it doesn’t mean it didn’t happen or wasn’t filmed. That’s VH1 for you, breaking down the divide between the porn world and the mainstream one up and comer at a time.
The next day, Myammee implores It to vote Prancer in the box.
It, being It, responds in a series of grunts.
Myammee begs him some more and then tells him not to tell Saaphyri, who just happens to be rounding the corner to enter the room!
All together now:
I think if you sat any of these people down and explained the concept of tact to them, they’d die of shock. Saaphyri wonders why Myammee’s in her room. Myammee says it’s to see if It thinks she has a chance. What did he say? “There’s nothing he can do.” Saaphyri is satisfied enough with this answer to let Myammee scamper away without a fight, but also she’s dissatisfied enough with the situation to let her feelings on Myammee be known again:
I hope that Saaphyri titles her inevitable memoir, Are You There Bitch? It’s Me, Bitch. Given her lexicon, I don’t see how she could possibly name it anything else.
It’s vault time. Craig informs It that he’s automatically in the box as the dead-last loser, to which It responds:
Say what you will about It: the dude knows how to do cocky right.
Before they vote, Angelique addresses the group, telling them that it’s better that they don’t vote her in the box, because she’s not going home due to her alliance with Saaphyri. Her words sound reasonable until you realize that at the other end of where they’re coming from is an exposed ass…
In a bid for suspense, we don’t see the voting. We only hear it, as we watch Saaphyri waiting…
When she goes in, we find out that Prancer and Ice have been put in the box, thanks to…
…Myammee voting not just against her alliance, but against her secret alliance, as well, on both counts. Shady! Ice interviews that the Pretty Girl Alliance is over. Also, this just in: the Soviet Union has collapsed!
After the vault, Myammee goes to Ice stammering a poor excuse for an apology and trying to make herself seem as tearful as possible. Ice says it’s OK and hugs her and stuff.
Ice is more nice than ice at this point. Like, seriously? Come on! Pull her weave! Run it under water! Take out your aggression somehow!
Then Prancer limps into Saaphyri’s room and starts rubbing her eyes to irritate them into tearing.
“I wanna talk to you if you get some time,” says Prancer. Well, between milking the cows and diapering the babies and balancing her checkbook, it’s going to be really hard for Saaphyri to fit her in. Like, seriously? “If you get some time?” They’re filming a reality show! Time is all they have.
Prancer tells Saaphyri that she’s done with Myammee, and furthermore, that she thought Myammee was very rude and disrespectful last elimination upon giving Saaphyri her check (you know the whole, “I’ll murder you”/”You never know” exchange). Eventually, they make their way to a bed. Prancer’s awfully mobile for someone with a bum wheel.
She explains that she will try to be Paymaster, but it will be hard with this new charade, I mean affliction. She is willing to do everything she can to get rid of Tailor Made and the “super-foul” Myammee. Fake broken legs all around!
Power Outing!
Here we get to watch the PGA fall apart by the weave tracks. Ice feels like she has no more alliance, since everyone voted against her. Prancer and Ice bicker about who’s stronger. “Do you know what a contusion is?” says Prancer. Is it like a fairy tale? No. “It’s a bruise on your bones.” Is there a word for “bruise on your soul?”
Saaphyri wonders just how it was that Myammee wasn’t voted in the box. Because only Prancer, It and Frenchie voted for her. Ice says she didn’t because she knew Myammee would go home if she were voted in the box. Saaphyri’s reaction to this is priceless:
If that’s too subtle for you, here, I’ll provide a translation:
They find their way to lunch.
While eating, Saaphyri notices dolphins flopping around in the water.
Prancer points out that they are not dolphins, but manta rays. “Oh, like penguins?” asks Saaphyri. Yeah, Saaphyri. Just like penguins. Penguins are to manta rays what Saaphyris are to zoologists. Based on their weird swimming pattern, Saaphyri surmises that they must be mating. “Any time animals do something wrong, they’re mating,” she adds. That she and It are the only sexually active people on the show at this particular point only corroborates the statement.
Saaphyri chooses to take the one-on-one with Ice, which means we get to watch It’s adorably thick self walk away.
Come back soon, wearing even less, please! And would it kill you to walk backwards?
Ice kisses Saaphyri’s ass and says that she didn’t know Saaph was so strong and she sure proved her wrong during today’s challenge.
Oh, Ice. Too little, too late and too self-defeating.
Elimilation!
Craig recaps the proceedings. Myammee states that being put in the box would be suicide. And then she pokes herself in the eye…
…to produce a single tear…
…to show how sorry she is about how it all played out. I think Myammee has a contusion on her sense of shame.
Saaphyri calls up It first. “Whadda ya got to say?” she asks him. “Yo, I’m tryin’ ta do my best,” he answers. “You don’t love my ass or somethin’?” she retorts. When he finally mumbles that he loves her, it’s not good enough. He holds his arms out and it’s still not enough of a display for her liking. She tells him to twirl.
And now he’s ready to sashay the runway of her heart. Saaph interviews, “There’s no reason for me to send home It! That’s my little thang thang! I ain’t sending him home!” BEST QUOTE EVER. Seriously, if I Love Money never gives us anything else, at least we can say that it gave us “thang thang.” And really, that is enough.
Saaphyri calls up Prancer, she notes her dubious injury but says she doesn’t want any more dudes in the house and thus is eliminating Ice. God, people are just so mean to Ice for nothing. Like, for having a deep voice? Seriously?
Anyway, Prancer bursts forward with a tearful hug.
“Those real tears?” Saaph wonders.
“They’re always real tears,” says Prancer. Somehow her verbalizing that makes me believe her even less than I did before, which was not at all.
Ice comes forward to get her check voided and Saaphyri’s all…
Ice’s self-sabotaging by not voting for Myammee elicits more arms throwing up. Seriously, I think…
…is the new…
As Ice bids goodbye to the people that helped her go away, Saaphyri continues her running commentary:
Ice’s exit interview consists of her saying, “Two hundred and fifty coulda been mine,” and then she mists up…
…and see, she doesn’t even play that game right. She makes Prancer look like Toasteee.
Meanwhile, Myammee interviews that Saaphyri likes (figuratively…I think) putting girls under her boobs and that’s where Prancer is now.
And see, I thought Myammee was the one whose body’s soft like a pillow!
Related content
I Love Money 2 show page
I Love Money 2 full episodes, show clips and bonus scenes
44 responses to to I Love Money 2 Recap – Episode 12 – Saaphed Of Energy
mayammee how ever you spell that )(#$!@(_^~_“*^*`~ ed girls name was wrond fa not votin against tailor made and ice dumb too fa not votin against mayammee when mayammee voted against her.come on now be smart
An Empty Nest reference? Epic, Rich. Epic.
It is a GAME people. Myammee isn’t the first to play dirty. Suck it up and get over it. It made sense because Ice and Prancer were dumb enough to let T-Made hear them PLANNING TO DO THE SAME TO HIM. So why Myammee get all the flack? The woman was smart enough not to get caught.
Damn people. Pay attention!
Finally! I hate Ray J’s show … can’t believe we had to wait so long. But Rich’s recaps are always worth it!
I heard that Sphari was arrested on some warrants for according to her, some old *@~&_@__@!$*($* ualt or robbery. I would love to know if she finished the show. The authorities have been looking for her since her first Flavor of Love. How dumb must the warrant cops be? She won Charm School. Go figure.
Yeah, Saaphyri, make sure to win paymaster again, so you can get rid of myammee and tailor, you go girl, you got all of my support, I hope you win this mother.
Myammee is sexy as hell, i thought it was kinda foul to vote for da other shorties but hey, its $250,000 sometimes you gotta do what u gotta do. but it does show how money is the rut to all evil if you gonna stabb your peoples in da back thats been down for you since jump. ^_##+#$)&!$^$$(% crazy but Myammee i dont knock you cuz u sexy as hell, get that money mami, holla
I despite what VH1 says believe PRANCER won it all.
This blog was some funny sh*t. I laughted outloud, great writing!. Sapphiree is beautiful. I agree she is a Queen and hope Myammme leaves the show soon. I am rooting for Sapphirre and Frenchie. Thw two togther are unlikely but at the same time great chemistry for comedy and the element of surprise. Thanks for the funny stuff. I have a great show idea with Sapphiree in mind. Have CAA contact me.
I really can’t dislike Sapphyri. She’s a survivor, and she’s dang witty. Loving Angelique too. She’s a sweetie and tres loyale. So, I would be majorly happy if Sapphyri, Tailor Made, It, or Angelique won. But deep in my heart I still think Prancer won it. (Rich’s denials notwithstanding.) -C
“Are you there ~(*%)@#$~“`$)@+( it’s me ~(*%)@#$~“`$)@+( HAHAHAHAHA hilarious!
I was annoyed when Saaphyri became paymaster. I was REALLY hoping she would go home. But, she DID make this episode extremely entertaining, so silver lining…
Im so upset with all these fake reality shows that Vh1 keeps showing to get ratings because all they see is $$$$$ Vh1 use to be good to watch but now its all a bunch of fake date shows that aren’t real .There just looking for viewers to tune into crap so they could get paid. Vh1 you are a music station but you play music in the we hours.
Ok, that was hiliarious. Thanks Rich, That made my day. You little “Thang, Thang!”
why wont it show the ending of the episode on the net
The host of “i love money” Craig Jackson is going to hosr the new show up all nite coming to sacramento at the end of may!
I kinda like prancer now, she should def realize that the “pretty girls alliance” did not have her back and she should just look out for herself. I can’t stand myammee, don’t get me wrong she is prettiest chick on this show but she actin like a total diva and a hoochie, she is obviously usin her sex-appeal to get It to do whatever she wants him to do like sapphyri is doin, tailormade (u kno he is into the sistas)to have her back and the host craig on her defense ..she is a dumbass for not eliminatin sapphyri since she made it clear before the elimination she couldn’t stand her
This show is a trip!!!. Ice is so fake, trying to act all bout it bout it. Can not wait for a new cast, these people are tired and need to sit down somewhere. They have well had their 15mins of fame.. HAS BEENS!!!!!!!!!
Funny recap.. Sucks ice went home, she was wa cool
I hope sapharie&and prancer get rid of miamee.im tiredofhernaked ness.she should have went too play boy for that!
I agree, people are so mean to Ice for no reason!
Saaphyri I hope u win kick a***. get paymaster again. And i hope they put Myammee in the box so u can send her a** right home
i cant believe ice was a dude. she was too fine
OK, Sapphed is starting to rub me wrong! Talk about evil!! I get the feeling she’s the next one out.
I seriously think these recaps are as funny as the episodes themselves. Thank you.
Saaphyri is the best, all she says is straight up and 100% true, hope she be the winner.
Dude these blogs are the BEST!!! that Angelique picture had me DYIN everytime you placed it in there!!! LOL
I THINK SAPHARY NEEDS TO GO HOME ALREADY…MYAMEE SHOULD OF SENT HER HOME WHEN SHE HAD THE CHANCE… BESIDES SHE ALREADY WON 100,000 ON CHARM SCHOOL…. SH***T GIVE SOMEBODY ELSE A CHANCE U KNOW….
saaphari or how eva yew spell dat bytch should have been went home 4real…i wish da fans could vote them off
it is freakin dumb man spayri better win cant belive they sent home freanche dumb *~_`!(~^`&&#_&( es
Saaphryi has the most infectious laugh :0
If I’m having a stressful day with my kids or just a crappy day, seeing & hearing her laughing makes me laugh. The bonus clip of her & It on the golf cart is sooo funny… she was laughing so hard that it made it more funny to watch. Best of luck to you Saaphryi! :)
saaphyriis cool i want her to win,myammee i feel you are just a mean individual.you used your friends,lied to their faces.prancer you are cool now that you are away from them..you know. it i hope saaphyri kicks your dumb +#$)#**@“^)__` you went against her.what can say tailor made,you are a sa fan neaky lawyer.
i love talor made
uh, frenchie and ice have weaves too — like duh
i think myammee should go because she is the one that is startin all this @^+&$_(_^~$`(`+$ And if ice voted for myammee she woudnt be the one goin home!!!because myammee voted for ice.and myammee is smart enough not to get caught.I mean really are you that dumb!!!
Saaphyri has to go next final!!!
myammee u so sexy i will like to meet u in person love u
im a big fan butiful
myammee u so sexy i will love to se u sexy sexy SEXY
im a big fan butiful LOVE U
saaphyri, reguardless what anybody says you are a beautiful person.even though myammee knocks you , i feel there was alot of times you had her back, but in reality it is a competion.i admire your strenght as a women, you stand your grounds and i most certainly think that you are a beautiful person.may god bless you, peace!!
prancer, i think that you are a beautiful person and i felt for you when myammee sent you home, especially by the comment that she made about you do not deserve to be there.to me you were faster tan myammee and i really think that she was scared to keep you on. always in this life you will win in other ways. may god bless you, peace!!!
prancer, i think that you are a beautiful person and i felt for you when myammee sent you home, especially by the comment that she made about you do not deserve to be there.to me you were faster tan myammee and i really think that she was scared to keep you on. always remember that in this life you will win in other ways. may god bless you, peace!!!
THAT SHOULD DO A SHOW CALL BECKY AND SAAPHYRI FIND LOVE THAT BE A REALLY GREAT SHOW.
May the best man or woman win!….and myammee won. Not saying that everyone else was a total failure,because they werent.i think everyone gave their best and did their best. Some could have came out on top and won if they werent so caught up on trying to portray this super hard image(Becky)..she was so LAME!! and very FAKE! i know people that are about their business because. They wont do much talking at all. they just handle their business. Becky talked too much BULL%%%* for me. The more bull she talked, the more i realized she was going to lose this challenge and go home.
Your site crawls along quite slowly