I Love Money 2 Recap – Episode 13 – The Boob Noobs

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If VH1 has taught us anything, it’s that nothing beats the comfort of an ample bosom.

Spoiler alert!

We open with Tailor Made and Myammee discussing how they’re gunning for Prancer, after she alienated them by switching over to the dark side, as it were.

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Saaphyri, meanwhile, explains, “Today, my alliance is…”

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Notice that she qualifies the announcement with “today,” since this stuff changes with the frequency of It’s eye twitches. Saaphyri and Angelique discuss the state of things some more and Saaph tells Angelique that one of them better win…

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So, what’s she suggesting? That nobody wins? Given the willful backstabbing, that’s pretty much the only way to stop evil from overcoming.

Well, OK, not all of them are evil.

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Angelique isn’t coherent enough to be reduced to a distinction as simple as evil.

Talking Craig Head’s announcement emphasizes “enhance,” “reduce” and “bust.” So, today’s challenge is either about boobs or the gradual death of print. Could go either way, really.

Before the challenge, Saaphyri makes It clean his stuff up. “It’s like we’re living together,” he notes. “We are living together, you’re in my room!” she barks back. “To da moon, ‘Phyri! To da moon!” It doesn’t say back. But he should!

Here’s what the grubbers see after they’re shipped to the challenge site:

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I’m almost positive I’ve seen New York wearing the exact fabric the giant boobs are cradled in:

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I guess that’s what purple satin is for, after all: cradling giant fake boobs. Anyway, today’s challenge is called:

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It’s basically an obstacle course that the contestants must run while wearing what Craig calls a “giant boob apparatus.” They suit up and…

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…what on earth could it be worth censoring on a giant fake boob? I guess a giant fake nipple is the obvious answer, but damn, that’s awfully strict censoring from the network that places the importance of silicone above any other compound.

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This is Meyer-esque enough to make me swoon. Faster, ‘Phyri-cat! Kill! Kill!

Myammee is the first to run the course. She goes from hurdles…

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…to braving densely placed poles…

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…to limboing under a giant-fake-boob cut-out…

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…to a tire hop…

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…to a balance beam…

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…to a swim around a buoy…

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…and finally back to the start…

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Though he slips on the tires, Tailor Made is able to take the lead after running the course…

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The formerly contusion-plagued Prancer clears the tires like they’re nothing.

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Maybe she just heals quickly? Hmmm, Wolverine is in theaters this week. Do I smell a subliminal tie-in?

Though she stumbles once out of the water…

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…Prancer nonetheless takes the lead:

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She makes a cocky reference to doing this all with a “bum leg.” Um, if it took you to victory, there’s nothing bum about it!

For her part, Saaphyri does a backstroke once in the water. She’s sort of an expert at maneuvering giant boobs, you know?

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Then, it’s It’s turn…

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After showing us what a doggy paddle would look like if done by a leg-less dog, It emerges from the water and says, “What? I ain’t do good.” Ya think?

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Finally, there is Angelique, who thinks that she’s supposed to walk on the tires, and not put her feet in the holes.

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Yeah, they do stuff weirdly in France.

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What this means is that Prancer is the challenge winner, thus Paymaster…

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…and It is shirtless…

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Oops, I mean, It is the dead-last loser. Sorry, got distracted. It interviews, “Now, I’m the dead-last loser again, and I feel like a dead-last loser…again!” I wouldn’t call him an idiot, but there is something savant-like in his ability to express himself. I mean, do you have any doubt that this is exactly how it went down in that fascinating head of his?

Prancer’s victory has Myammee spooked. She interviews that she’s scared of what’s going to happen, because Saaphyri has Prancer “under her wing.” I thought Prancer was under Saaphyri’s boob? Please stick with the brilliant imagery you strike, Myammee.

At home, Tailor Made attempts to convince It to do exactly what he needs, which is to not vote for him or Myammee, but to vote for Saaphyri.

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As they discuss this, the phrase “sway vote” (as a noun) is employed a lot:

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It seems determined not to vote for Saaphyri, which sends Tailor Made scrambling to that trusty pad of his.

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At last, the reason why he always pronounces Saaphyri’s name like “Safari” is revealed: because that’s how it’s spelled in his head. This is troublesome, but at least he can spell. On this network, you can never be sure.

Tailor Made meets with It again, and he does seem to convince his boy to vote Saaphyri into the box.

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Although, the fact that It is gazing off with his mouth open doesn’t bode well for getting through to him. Give that one a piece of paper, why don’t ya?

Vault time! Before they can vote, Craig notes that It is cracking up.

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It’s so adorable, it deserves a closer look:

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He tells Craig he’s about to see some “crazy s***” go down. From this promise, I was hoping he’d eat after midnight, put on a pair of round glasses and start saying “civilizaaaaation” like that smart gremlin in Gremlins 2. No such luck, though. All he does is vote against Saaphyri and Frenchie, which was expected and not crazy at all.

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Although the fact that he calls it “crazy” is kinda crazy. Whatever. It wins, as always.

This means that Saaphyri and Frenchie are on the chopping block. Frenchie is not amused.

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She’s so not amused, in fact, that she immediately threatens to quit.

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She launches into this speech, in which she says she never gives up. Craig points out the contradiction between threatening to quit and never giving up. Angelique doesn’t seem to understand. I think her grasp on English is best described as “selective.” Anyway, more subtitle fun highlights her rant.

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Saaphyri realizes that if Angelique quits, it’s leaving the door open for her own elimination, so she brandishes her slick tongue and uses a little love to convince Frenchie to stay.

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Angelique ponders the power of karma, which she pronounces like “camera,” as in…

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So, first of all, I love that by Angelique’s admission, she is at the center of the cosmic universe if by doing her wrong, you inflict negative karma upon yourself. Second of all, I love the irony of the misinterpretation directly above, considering how bad people can come off via these shows. If “Karma is a bitch” is the first rule of reality TV, “Camera is a beach,” must be the second.

There’s more nonsense from Angelique, whose “Thank you, Saaphyri” translates in subtitlespeak to:

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And one last turn of phrase punctuates the scene:

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The woman is a genius. Yet another one that I’d like to see let loose with a piece of paper. That sounds really boring of me, I know. That’s why I’m here and they’re there, I guess.

Power Outing! Today’s involves golf.

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Suddenly, boring seems like the way to be. Except if you’re It, who foolishly drives the golf cart.

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The guy knows how to have a good time, no matter the situation. Chalk it up to childlike wonder.

Then, they sup.

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Now comes the time where everyone talks about how weak they are in an attempt to stay on the show. Saaphyri says that she should stay because she isn’t the strongest, and then It says that he should stay because he’s the fourth weakest. I’m impressed that he came up with such a specific number. Such a thinker! When it’s Angelique’s turn, she says she doesn’t think that she’s weaker than Prancer. Gasp! What a twist!

Also, in the least shocking news since Saaphyri gave the whole weak excuse, Angelique reintroduces the idea of the girls banding together in their own alliance. It wouldn’t be an I Love Money 2 episode without it.

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When it’s time for the one-on-one, Prancer selects Frenchie and they sit in the golf cart.

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Prancer wants a no-boys alliance. But the real question is: does she want a matching clubhouse?

Angelique mangles English some more as she makes her case for staying, although she doesn’t seem nearly as desperate as some in her position have.

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Elimilation!

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In an attempt to stay, It reduces himself to begging, saying that his grandfather only has six months to live and the prize money would really help him. Weak! If you’re gunning for monetary sympathy, don’t make things seem so terminal — at least position it so that there’s some miracle cure that only the prize money could buy. Angelique says she now trusts Prancer, and that’s worth a lot since Angelique is so loyal, unlike It.

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Hm, I guess she’s more desperate than I thought. Saaphyri says her relationship with Prancer is “ride or die.” She adds, “And I’m not the strongest.” “I’m not the strongest” is the new “I’m not here to make friends,” y/y?

Prancer calls Saaphyri to get her check. “Thank you, Jesus, and thank you Prancer, for keeping your word,” Saaphyri gushes. Jesus says, “You’re welcome,” Saaphyri. He told me to tell you that.

Prancer calls Angelique forward next and says that at this point, things aren’t about alliances — she knows that she can beat It, so she’s keeping him. Frenchie is going home.

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And maybe even more sadly, so are her subtitles.

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Prancer gives Frenchie the peace-out.

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But don’t worry, guys, I think Frenchie’s gonna be just fine:

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When Prancer gives It his check, she tells him, “I’m hoping you’re as big of a loser as I think you are!” It interviews…

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“I feel like a crackhead in the Crack Olympics or something.” Best quote since “thang thang?” No doubt. Whether by accident or predisposition or some sort of synaptic crossed-circuits, this dude is a genius. It’s It’s world, we just it in it.

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  1. chase617 says:

    prancer’s a ***** why did she get rid of the only interesting player left. the show just got (quoting farrah): “LAME!” i mean WHAT THE FRENCH. get rid of the only rock of love girl and keep all these stupid and boring people who do not make good television. im gonna miss angelique and her accent!

  2. akadee2 says:

    hey ice myamme is a punk

  3. akadee2 says:

    hey ice

  4. hotttt AZ says:

    I loooooooooooooooooooooove “I love money” and I hope it never goes away!!!!! im already dwelling on the last episode appearing and than no more new episodes after that!!!!!!!! I like Ice and its a bummer she got kicked out from one stupid mistake she made!!!!!!!!

  5. The_Queen says:

    can’t lie, i want either tailor made or It to win. I like saaphyri, and myammee, prancer flip flops soooo much. It’s just funny, and Tailor made and Angelique were the only two REAL loyal people to their alliances, and who kept their words. Tailor’s not a snake, nor is it Dumb.

  6. jess says:

    is tailor made really that creepy in real life or is it just the show cause I think he is a SNAKE

  7. Me says:

    VH1 is coming to a close. The editors make everyone look their going out but they don’t…. predicable! New York is played to death and no one cares. Bret is done and no one liked ray-j. Tough love didn’t have enough seasons. For the Love of Daisy is holding, but will end soon. For the editors of these shows, Change it up or find new jobs. You are repetitive!

  8. egyptian says:

    i believe IT has always been smart!!! he’s brilliant, and i want to date him!!!!!

  9. Elliot says:

    THOSE STUPID TIRES!!! I understand why Prancer eliminated her, but I don’t think I’ll ever get over Angelique being kicked out so close to the final episode. Here’s hoping she’s part of the Jury for the finale (I would !~)~(@@@*+@_(&_ ume that she would be staying in Mexico for that episode.) Still, I suddenly realized that with the end of “I Love Money 2″, I’ll no longer be seeing Saaphyri and Frenchy on a regular basis, and that truly saddens me. Please, I need a new show, like “Sisterhood with Buckwild and Saaphyri” or “Frenchy of Love.” Sooner than later, okay?
    And I love the Russ Meyer reference – I’m mentally replacing all the people from the show with characters from “Beyond the Valley of the Dolls.” Saaphyri is Pet, Frenchy is Ashley St. Ives (obviously), 20 Pack is Lance, Leilene is Casey, and Becky Buckwild is one of the crazy, drug-addled sex fiend partiers. I guess my memories will have to be suffice to keep my girls alive… (weeps)

  10. walker4907 says:

    It is 1 freaking crazy wild dude,,Gotta Love em!!!!

  11. linnie boo says:

    myammee and saaphyri what kind of weave do u both wear.

  12. Pleasemyself says:

    Frenchy is correct karma is a `!(&`$^+#_&_%%_~% and it will get whats coming to him or he will loose it quickly if he wins.

  13. D2183 says:

    IT is the greatest ever!! You could sense all along he was smarter than he let on… and in the mean time he had some of the best reality quotes ever.

  14. xxMIZZJACQUETTAxx says:

    I Glad Frenchie goes home Wait To see Myammee Or Prancer To Win Big Money!!!

  15. RYAN says:

    BRING FRENCHIE BACK WTF!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!FRENCHIE NEED HER OWN DATING SHOW ALREADY!!!!!VH1 WHATARE U WAITING FOR!!!??????

  16. kandy kisses says:

    Prancer is so DUMB. She should have sent it home. I can’t believe she sent home Frenchie. I was really hoping she would win the whole thing. Everyone else is wackk! Saaphyri is the main one that f**ked upp the whole game and her aliance, I don’t understand how she made it to the end??? And I agree Frenchie does need to get her own show already!!!

  17. mizzbiggtiti says:

    i can’t belive prancer sent frenchie home that *^(`$~)*!$`*+&(# gonna come back to kickher in the #%%#$$&#^@_)^%+ just watch

  18. judee42plus says:

    Prancer is stupid Frenchie was no real treat to her It is faking he should have gone Frenchie was loyal.She was the most honest on the show good luck FRenchie

  19. DeiaynciaCimone says:

    Prancer said it at the end she hope It aint smarter than what he lets on. They all wanna take It to the end cause he appears easy to beat and most )$+$@@!*+!`*+_! uredly dumb. This brother aint dumb. He know how to work it just like Sapphyri. Now I heard Prancer won it and I saw the naked pic of her with the new boobs she said she would get if she won. She took that blonde out her head and it don’t look like her. Myammee, Tailor, Prancer I don’t want to win. For all her coniving and his so called stupidity i want to see It and Saaphyri as the final two. It havin a good time lookin at all that naked tail runnin around. It is cute. i can’t believe he sucked on saaphyri’s nasty, salamander, gilamonster toes. Wash your mouth out It.

  20. slush21 says:

    Did anyone else notice at the very end when It started speaking intelligently and admitted he ‘s smarter than everyone and can SEE!!! He is the smartest person in this game by far and the most interesting character…

  21. gldngirl says:

    thank you, rich, for posting those incredibly adorable gifs of It laughing.

  22. vanessa says:

    I KNEW it! I knew it when he was on I Love NY 2! He’s been in character this whole time. I hope he wins the money. That’s just brilliant.

  23. Ben says:

    I hope It wins, given the huge spoiler concerning the next episode. If he turns out to have played the entire game, acting like an idiot on purpose, only to reveal his true persona at the end….He may be the greatest reality TV star in history.

  24. Nitemare Gal says:

    Prancer needs to go down! She should have gotten rid of IT! He is such a snake! I agree with other posts that Tailor Made will hopefully win it! I would almost root for Saaphyre but she ruined it that after It voted to put her in the box she still says she doesn’t want him to go home… WHAT?? He backstabbed your +`~&&*@!*@^+)%! Go Tailor Made!!! I hope you get the last laugh!!!!
    …or even Myammee…she has been consistant…

  25. Kelvin says:

    Am I crazy or is prancer hot! Those legs and small breasts are the bomb. Baby if you ever need a massage just email me. I would love to bury my face between those legs!!!

  26. onedatatatime says:

    Im just wondering what happen to the money Saaphyri won on Charm School?

  27. onedayatatime says:

    And Im so glad Becky Buckwild was sent home. She was the phoniest person on the entire show. She is a follower. All up behind Saaphryi’s behind. Becky Buckwild isnt going 2 hurt a fly!!! Be who you really are and stop faking for tv!!!

  28. scifiwritir says:

    I am really going to miss Angelique. She was sweet, funny and loyal. (Okay, I didn’t like the word “retarded” being used so often. Disabilities activism, I guess. But she was pretty cool. Now am hoping Saaphyri or Tailor Made wins. I don’t think they will though. Am so hoping Myammee doesn’t win. Weirdness is one thing I can accept from reality tv folks. And even bullying. But Myammee seems downright bitter and I can’t see what she’s got to be bitter about. She just always seems to have had a very nasty selfish disposition. It kinda disappointed me. I guess…cause I don’t like being played and I feel he played the viewers and Saaphyri all along. So, he was using Saaphyri all this time? Or did he ^$$~“&)$`@*^!% ume Prancer wouldn’t eliminate Saaphyri? And why was he so sure he wouldn’t be eliminated? As for Ms Prancer… I didn’t mind the thought of her winning but after she got the makeover I thought, “What a shallow thing to do?” She was pretty enough before that, but after the makeover she just seemed to be another woman who judges herself by externals. Kinda pitiful.

  29. laffy2 says:

    It is the man, I hope he wins the whole damn thing!! Team IT!!!! And Myammee should have gotten rid of Saaphari’s ugly !#(*^$!^%(@$_`+ when she had the chance.

  30. Andrew says:

    It might be the winner. I would be shocked if he won the whole thing. As for Frenchie I do think she was loyal to her team even if she was in The Entertainer alliance. TM played the game the right way, and I have not seen that since Hoopz from last season. It can go either way for the last episode. Everybody for themselves now no more alliances.

  31. Anmari says:

    I think Prance was stupid to send home frenchie, It is fooling everyone, he is going to take it all. If you look at him carefully he is just watching everybody else. they will keep him becaisue they think they can beat him.

  32. wanda says:

    is it just me the preview for next week it is smart and just said that he is playing stupid I just knew prancer was going to send it home when he turned on his girl , he couldn’t be trust It you played them all lol

  33. Amanda says:

    prancer should have sent his stupid (!**+`^*!*+&_&^ home. saphari (sp) should kick (!**+`^*!*+&_&^ to the curb, and it was cool that she was loyal to saphari. i think prancer or saphari should win it. she did good in charm school. good luck prancer & saphari.

  34. Why Stay In Lion? says:

    Will you people shut up about the alliances? Only ONE person can win the money, only ONE, not the damn alliance, which I wonder why the hell they’re even formed ANYWAY.

    You would turn on your ‘homegirl’ or ‘homeboy’ too! That is the wholw ^+@$`%@#!~*%~@@#%+) i n g! In the end, you’ll be straight if you gave that friend some of the money or they won’t bite back as a jury. Being loyal WON’T guarantee you winning, nor will you stay out the box. At one point, you have to look out for yourself.

    Damn, none of you would last in this game. It would win before any of you.

    ): Bye Frenchie, I’ll keep the lion alive for you.

  35. 1ladygoon says:

    i think saphriya should win because she is the realist one in the house tailer made is a whimp it is dumb frenchy is no speak english prancer fake and mayamme is a lier

  36. rae $ $ says:

    i think that it was a dumb mistake to send angelique home . she was actually the only REAL & LOYAL person left in the house . prancer switches sides like there’s no tomorrow & the fact that angelique trusts her chould have been a huge deal . i think that angelique was the WRONG decision . i like myamee but i think she needs to go home . saaphyri already won charm school .. like wtf is she even here for ? andddd no comment on It . i honestly don’t think that he’s as dumb as he tries to make himself look on the show . but who knowsss ?

  37. tay says:

    Im glad frenchie went home. My homeboy It keeps me laguing everytime i watch I love money lol.Taylor Made is so smart and i hope he wins because he knows how to save anybody thats in his alliance. An everybody that goes after him ends up going home. Lol thats smart lol.

  38. xBEnji65 says:

    somethings up with that last GIF

  39. the real cam says:

    finally the real cam has come to blog again prancer i always loved you and in my flavor of love girls rankings you are ranked 5th all time but anyways I hope you or tailor made wins the money he is ranked 2nd alltime from i love new york men im not gay no homo and even if IT is funny he is super @!%*@)%#)(__$`#%`~ ed shaprayi already won money and myamee i just dont want her to win but i think you won already because in the first episode you said you want inplants and i see you photos on the internet and your boobs got bigger so im just putting two together and i like how you did the peace sign to that ugggggggggggly french boy/girl and you or any of my peeps internet bitters could catch me on new york goes to work blog or daisys garbage show blog

  40. Andrewa says:

    THANK YOU PRANCER! Finally you did something right for a change and it’s about time. As much as I was rooting for Angelique, she needed to go. She is more athletic than Saaphyri and has more of a brain than dumb &`^&_^__@*&*%__ It”. The only thing she lacked was the willingness to stick the game out.

    “It” will never win this game if he keeps suckin’ on that crack pipe. That boy is strung out. Either that or he’s been ridin’ the short bus for way too’ long. Who knows.

  41. cjros says:

    noooooo!!! i miss frenchie… i hate how everyone treats her like she’s dumb just because she has an accent. it’s obvious she is a very intelligent and strong woman, and even better than all the other people in the house- she deserved to win, most deff!!

    stupid ugly prancer. and her turtle face!!

  42. lisa says:

    bring back frank…..he was the only reason alot of us watched or are still watching for the guest appearances….hell give the guy is own show….that would be some interesting entertainment

  43. Natasha says:

    I Hate Taylor Made and his aliance BUT Miami is sexy

  44. cj says:

    i am so glad frechie is gone she was so ugly fake looking could not understand her saaphyrie need to go next UGLY UGLY UGLY AND SHE JEALOUS OF MYAMME

  45. Rosetta says:

    Well I think prancer should have sent it home no one can trust him. I really dont like Saapahri she already won something she needs to give somebody else a chance to win. I use to like Prancer not any more I think she is fake and there is nothing wrong with her leg.I hope Myaami win and her hair stay fresh and saaphari mad cause her weave bougus and she ugly.Tailor made is a good person and he sticks with his alliance even when they go aganist him I hope Tailor made win or Myaami

  46. dushiegirl says:

    OK FRENCHIE IS GONE ONLY LEFT SAAPHYRI THEN SAAPHYRI GOES CAUSE THE JURY CANT HAVE ANYONE ON ET ALLIANCE THERE. SO DAT WILL LEAVE TAILOR MADE ALLIANCE AND ANYONE OF THEM CAN WIN.SO TAILOR MADE PLEASE MAKE SURE SAAPHYRI GOES NEXT AT WHAT COST.

  47. BonishkaRai says:

    prancer, ur a gold-digging ~^%@$*$*$@)&!_@_^ i now realized how truly pathetic u really are. as much as i hate tailor made, i now feel bad 4 him b/c he had ur back til u turned on him. i knew ur injury and tears were fake. ur the fakest ~^%@$*$*$@)&!_@_^ in vh1 history. i hope u don’t win the money, u don’t deserve it one bit. u and myammee r the biggest ~^%@$*$*$@)&!_@_^ es in this show. hope u don’t come back 4 another season of i love money. ur face looks so &&_+%((&%`%&^`#& in disgusting that i just want 2 spit on it. i hate u that much. u should go home nxt.

  48. sizzlyn says:

    it really has something wrong with him,but he is not as dumb as they think he will most likely be the one to win.

  49. BonishkaRai says:

    when is frenchie’s interview going 2 be posted?

  50. Sharon Rose Washington says:

    The blog is pure genius as usual. Funny stuff. Angelique will be back I am sure to pay karmic debt to Prancer for eliminating her and choosing to keep It in the game. I do not think Saaphyri will make it to the end because she smokes so I am not rooting for anyone to win. Those left are a sorry bunch. I would have liked to see Saaphyri, Buckwild, The Entertainer or Angelique win. Too bad but those left are not good enough!

  51. sk8er guy says:

    ‘IT’ needs his oun show

  52. xxMIZZJACQUETTAxx says:

    Saaphyri loses her mind right now to jealous of myammee I HOPE SHE OUT OF HERE THis Game God She so Selfish,Backstabbing,Immature She Needs Grow Up like That!!!