So by now, you know that Myammee won I Love Money 2 (unless you’re really slow, in which case: keep reachin’ for that remote!). And the thing about reality shows is once they’re over, they’re really over. I barely remember the season. Is a Paymaster like a Thighmaster? How does one exactly become a thang thang? And what is this “money” thing people talk about so often, anyway? Whatever the answers are, I just hope that the lions are resting peacefully on a sanctuary somewhere.
The point is that at this juncture, a blow-by-blow recap doesn’t seem prudent. So instead, please accept the collection of images, observations and gifs of It doing weird crap below.
First, let’s stretch out:
Ahem. Tailor Made’s sit-and-scoot method of getting across the beam of the penultimate challenge?
Completely reminiscent of a dog with worms. It reminded me of the time that Peyton fretted over Lily’s possible worms backstage at the Rock of Love 2 reunion. Maybe that’s just me, though.
Saaphyri voiding her own check?
Gangsta. Saaphyri voiding her own check because she “never got to void anythin’”? Confusing. Saaphyri’s repeated use of the word “spooky” to describe this finale situation? Priceless. Without her around, I wonder who’s gonna give me stuff to quote and confuse non-VH1 watchers with.
During the mid-episode elimination ceremony, It’s hanging his head like a naughty little doggie as Myammee was telling him that he can’t see, jump, run or “do nothin’” made me legitimately sad:
I was less sad about Prancer’s elimination since she’s She-Ra, apparently, and I’m sure she’ll do fine hurdling aliens and wrestling alligators and gliding in the face of contusions and all the other things she can apparently do since she’s “the strongest.”
She has the power, and yet, it left her without a spot in the Final 3. It’d be ironic if this whole game weren’t predicated on explaining to other people how weak you are. Ah, Prancer. You’re just too Herculean for this world.
Preparation for the final challenge amounted to…
…squatting. Lots of squatting.
In the car on the way to the final challenge, a shocking revelation:
It lied about needing the $250,000 to help his dying grandfather. That story never made sense to me (I mean, he was dying — what’s there to help?) but I love that Tailor Made referenced as It’s most sincere moment. What was that thing about playing a sucker to catch a sucker again?
The final challenge was, of course, as self-referential as you’d expect from this show.
One new addition, though, was an encounter with alligators that turned out to be rocks…
…Myammee pleading to the powers that be to, “Come get me!” makes you wonder how she won, in retrospect.
For posterity, here were the final questions and her eventually correct answers:
But more importantly, here are those porno ice-melting moves:
Even It’s looked unconsciously obscene:
What a weirdo, you know? But then again, of course he is:
In the end, Myammee accepted victory with an Extreme Makeover: Home Edition level of gratitude…
…Tailor Made looked legitmately bummed to concede defeat, and It never even made it to the end, since he became invested in the grilled shrimp and beer being sold near the ice sub-challenge:
He had the girl place his order on the block of ice, and it promptly slid off.
All together now:
It’s been real, people.