Daisy Of Love Recap - Episode 3 - Made Up To Make Out

Before we start the recap, let’s prepare ourselves, boys…

Because you can’t spell “mascara” without “masc,” you know?

We begin at the best place possible:

A shirtless Flex discusses the Brooklyn situation with 12 Pack. 12 is determined to get him out of there. We see a virtual montage of Brooklyn hate, as the man himself ponders his place in the competition…

Perhaps he is wondering if he has any dignity left, or if he even had it in the first place. Perhaps I am giving him too much credit for wondering if he wonders.

The guys get Daisy Mail, which would seem to be straight out of a 12-year-old’s diary were it not a device to keep the plot of this show moving forward…

…you know, it actually could be both. Wouldn’t be surprising. No one would care.

The guys are shuttled to the challenge site. It’s a relay of sorts, in which they’ll have to transport a mannequin “Daisy” across a field, from a limo to a velvet rope to a stage door back to the velvet rope and back to the limo. The dudes will be split into three groups of four. Whichever team’s Daisy has the least amount of damage at the end wins. Complicating the task are a group of “psychopaths,” explains Riki. When he says “psychopaths” we see these shots:

Poor Heather. If you’re going to talk s*** about her, show, at least do it when she’s there and can defend herself or punch someone in the head over it!

But no, actually the “psychopaths” are a group of bobo Power Rangers weidling paint guns.

In response to their presence, Flex says:

…to which I say: don’t threaten us with a good time!

Chi Chi reports that he’s shaking in his pants in response to the paint-ball guys. Is he Ricky Martin? That would explain…so little, actually.

The guys form teams gym-class style. Tool Box, Sinister and Cage are captains. Tool Box ends up enlisting Flex, Big Rig and Fox. Sinister gets Chi Chi, 12 Pack and London. Cage drafts 6 Gauge, Cable Guy and Brooklyn. 12 Pack whines about not wanting to be on Sinister’s team in an interview, but shows no signs of grief when he’s actually chosen by the man:

I think focusing on the positive is always the way to go. Especially when the positive means airable self-abuse.

It should come as no surprise due to the mass ostracizing he faced and…other factors, that Brooklyn was the last to be chosen. “I wouldn’t pick myself neither,” he interviews. Just by looking at him, I had no idea he was even capable of self-awareness. What a nice surprise!

Cage’s is the first team to go.

In the process of this relay, they end up splitting the mannequin in two…

…and losing her limbs…

If this were the Boxing Helena challenge, they’d be doing swimmingly.

Next up is Tool Box’s team. Regarding their orange jump suits, Daisy had pointed out that they kinda look like they’re from prison (as though it’s a planet, per her wording!), but that’s kinda hot, too. As someone who’s seen Oz once and from that one time became a Christopher Meloni fan, I say: hear, hear!

Fox ends up shielding himself with the mannequin, which is so not the point of this challenge, but since Fox is the type to start many a sentence like, “Being a good-looking guy…” maybe it’s a symptom of a much bigger point?

Despite the best efforts of Flex’s middle finger…

…this team’s Daisy also falls apart:

And finally, the last team’s Daisy merely splits in two, so that means that they win. Sinister, Chi Chi, London and 12 Pack will share in a super exciting date! Yippee! Before they can disperse, Brooklyn raises his hand.

He announces that he his still in love with his ex. “Ahm trowin’ in da towell!” he says. No one is particularly moved by this, though Daisy does thank him for wasting her time and Riki comments:

Oh, Riki. You’re not nor will you ever be inducted into the Blondourage. Stop trying.

Daisy calls him a “lose bag,” and screams “Deuce!” as she climbs into the limo with the other dudes and leaves Brooklyn standing there amongst dismembered mannequins.

Sometimes it’s easy to confuse this show with a student film. It’s at about that level of avant garde. Daisy interviews, “Hey Brooklyn, check your mail when you get home. I’m sending you a douche bag.” What, she doesn’t need it anymore?

At home, all the guys prepare for a night on the town with Daisy. What can be observed ranges from reasonable…

…to understandably glam…

…to douchey…

…to reminiscent of what backstage at a high-school play looks like…

…to unsurprising…

…to slightly disappointing…

…to utterly confounding…

Fox interviews that putting mascara on his beard makes him feel good. Well, a weird explanation is better than no explanation at all! Flex, whom we don’t see in front of a mirror in this montage, but as far as we can tell is no stranger to bronzer, says he doesn’t know why his peers indulge so heavily in cosmetics. “Maybe they’re mad at their dad,” he muses. I don’t exactly know what that means, but I think that familial contempt is a good explanation for a variety of behaviors exhibited on reality TV.

They finally get to the club and it’s seriously just a make-out party.

Bret Michaels, meet your vaginally endowed match. Oh wait. You already have. And you’re aware of the extent of the vaginal endowment. Hm. Well, at least Daisy of Love isn’t lacking in action. Hooray for everyone and their intertwined tongues.

Meanwhile, Sinister, who was promised special one-on-one time in VIP for being the captain of the winning team in this week’s challenge, sits by himself patiently and primly:

Nice that Daisy totally flaked. If you can’t trust someone to live up to their reality show promise, what can you trust? This is definitely a low-point for the concept of responsibility.

I guess Daisy got distracted. She is, however, not too distracted to take Fox to task for not giving her enough attention.

Because if there’s anything Daisy’s lacking in, it’s attention. Just kidding. This is coming from a real place. See, the Daisy chain’s only as strong as its weakest link.

Meanwhile, Riki talks to Cable Guy about his lack of effort. “Being me times 10 isn’t being me,” says Cable Guy on how he’s expected to conduct himself on reality TV. You know, he has a point. If a key trait of his is reservation, intensifying that doesn’t make sense. Also 10 x 0 = 0. Just FYI. Riki explains to him the importance of peacocking (I guess?), by saying, “She’s only judging by what she sees, not what she’s feeling.” Is he trying to confirm the suspicions of cynical watchers who don’t believe in reality TV romance? Or did that just slip out? Like, what? Cable Guy says he’s not going to be in love after three weeks. Lucky for him, it only takes but a second to hammer a nail in a coffin.

And to return to the subject of strength/weakest links…

Tool Box applies all of his might to bonding with his fellow contestants.

He shouts, “Bromance!” and affectionately clasps hands with Flex…

It turns out he’s not an unfeeling jerk, after all! He can actually be quite tender. Especially when he ends up with his head on another man’s ass.

This is what happens when they get home and Daisy goes to bed. You know what they say: when the cat’s away, the boys will play…t0gether. Big Rig notes that Tool Box seems to like the “tussle tussle with the muscle muscle.” Interesting that Big Rig is familiar enough with this behavior to have a cute little name for it. These guys all, in fact, seem to fall somwhere on the continuum of interesting.

To no one’s surprise, it turns out that Tool Box isn’t really feeling Daisy.

I think Tool Box’s Interesting Number just passed 5.

The next day, it’s time for the winning team to share a “super sexy body painting date” with Daisy. This requires her to disrobe. What a coincidence that she just happens to be wearing an actual robe.

The date will be split into one-on-ones. First up is 12 Pack.

He reports that his past two girlfriends have cheated on him, but he’s never cheated on a girl. More importantly, he and Daisy make out.

Next is Sinister.

He paints a pair of lips on her that were visible during her one-on-one with 12 Pack. Yay, continuity!

You may think that it’s weird to paint what’s supposed to be a lipstick mark on a female who’s looking for love among males, but said males are so cosmetically inclined that these made-up lips could belong not just to Sinister but any number of his peers. It all works, guys!

He makes out with Daisy, too.

Chi Chi doesn’t even wait to get to the paint part to attack Daisy with his face.

Perhaps he just wanted a clean canvas?

And then there’s London. Get ready for a shock:

He makes out with her, too. But shhh! Due to the discrete nature of this show, it’s best that you don’t tell anyone.

Before elimination, Daisy wants to tie up some loose ends with some of the guys.

She ends up bonding with Cable Guy over their collective shyness. She also admits that she has no intuition. That’s maybe not the best thing to inform a virtual stranger, but hey, it’s not like she’d know that. No intuition, remember?

She also meets with Tool Box, and by “meet” I mean…

…”experiences his crotch in her face.” Say what you will about Tool Box, but the dude is unquestionably gifable:

She refers to him as a “gigantus gorilla.”

Is “gigantus” her word for “be-mohawked?” Hold that thought while I consult my baby babble-to-English dictionary. I’ll let you know the results next recap.

Oh, she also makes out with Flex.

I don’t know how she’s just getting to that now, but whatever.

With the guys gathered for elimination, Riki takes the opportunity to rant about Brooklyn leaving and Daisy’s feelings.

He goes on and on to the point where even Daisy’s like…

…”Uh…?” If you can’t get the host to care about the feelings you’re telling her she has, how can you possibly get the dudes to care? Whatever. Flex gets the first chain. There is justice in the world. Daisy says some awesome stuff in the ensuing chain distribution. Before Sinister, she says, “This next person definitely is hot!” On London: “I just like this guy! I’m all about it!” And for Fox: “This next guy is obviously hot…I mean…Fox?” Maybe it wouldn’t hurt if Daisy, too, checked out that dictionary. Synonym usage is a virtue.

It comes down to Cable Guy and Tool Box. And the last chain is not for…

…Cable Guy. Whatever, he got to stick to his inclinations without having to bother with multiplying himself by anything. If you ask me, that means he wins. Daisy compares him to the jazz channel, where as she’s the rock channel but there’s something in her analogy that sounds like interference.

Since Tool Box is set to stay in the competition, Flex takes the opportunity to complain.

He talks about Tool Box’s admission that he doesn’t feel Daisy for s***, brother. Big Rig backs him up. Daisy asks Tool Box if he’s there for her and he says, “It’s up to you.” How diplomatic he is about his own conviction! Wait, what? Riki asks Tool Box if he’ll fight for Daisy, but Tool Box isn’t that dude. He finally admits that he wants to stay, but Daisy doesn’t believe him so she sends him home, too. And then she freaks out with her hands:

She runs off and we see her sniffling in her room.

Riki informs the guys she will not be coming back out, which: OK, whatever. Elimination was over, anyway. Oddly missing from this bulletin is the proclamation of Riki’s that we saw in the Supertrailer and multiple teases leading up to this segment, so I’ll just say it now for those who missed it: THIS IS NOT A GAME. I mean, it’s a competition-based reality show with winners and losers and things of that nature, but still NOT A GAME. Not even when there’s paintball involved. NOPE. NO GAME. NADA. The score is 1-Not, 0-Game.

Just so you know.

Related content
Daisy of Love show pages
Daisy of Love full episodes, show clips and bonus scenes
Daisy De La Hoya - Exclusive Video Interview

This entry was posted on Sunday, May 10th, 2009 at 9:55 pm