In this episode, New York receives her most inhumane punishment thus far:
…the in-your-face, up-the-nose shot. Poor girl!
I’ll start by addressing the viewing public as New York does every five seconds on this show: America, good work! Once again, the choice has been made to inflict New York with the most discomfort possible via her weekly job. And it couldn’t have happened without you!
New York realizes that she’ll be ghost hunting today and rants as she pulls up to the ship on which she’ll complain and convulse (i.e. “work”). She worries about getting a dead ghost inside of her “because they do that. They jump inside of people.” That actually sounds erotic. Here’s hoping that this episode plays out with sexy results.
Newy meets the people she’ll hunt with:
I love that this show seems to be adopting a bear motif (this week takes place on a ship called the Queen Mary, to boot!). I’m just as interested in whether the show can keep it up as what Tiffany’s next job will be.
Newy explains to the group that she doesn’t want to have to do that “catchin’ when they lock up and stuff.”
So far, New York’s knowledge of the paranormal seems to begin at Ghostbusters and end at Ghost. With any luck, we’ll get a scene of her doing pottery using marshmallow as her medium. I mean “medium” in the art way, not in the psychic way, but if she wants to do that, too, it could only help the absurdity at hand on its way.
Speaking of: New York sees movement on the Queen Mary and pitches a fit. It is then explained that the Queen Mary is, in fact, a working hotel featuring the services of people of this world/dimension. New York, it seems, sees live people.
She does again, after actually entering the ship. She also feels a ghostly presence then smells it, and then hears someone say, “Tiffany,” according to her. So she’s got all of her senses in tact. We know this, at least. Hooray for her.
Despite the fact that this job is nebulous by nature (Pat says they’re looking for something that can be explained away or not explained), Newy has actual tasks to whine about. They are:
The first task will take place at the first-class pool:
Here, New York is given dowsing rods to check for contact with a 7-year-old ghost, Jackie, who is suspected to have drowned in this pool. Dowsing rods are soooooo The Wish Giver, btw.
New York calls them “dowsling rods” and Erika says she’s right. Erika, you’re kind but you’re doing her vocabulary no favors. Anyway, the rods wag back and forth and that’s all that seems to need to happen for New York to pass this task.
Then, moving over to the changing room, we get this wonderful shot:
New York screws this task up by dropping the equipment before entering the changing room and just generally clinging to Erika.
She basically enters screaming, which seems to attract a ghost. “It got dark! It got dark! It got dark!” Newy barks as they walk through the narrow hall. They see a man at the end of it, and that’s when New York hightails it.
For the next task, they go further down…
This time, they’re after a nasty ghost named Henry, who was boiled alive by a steam pipe. Steve, Erika and New York look up through a hole in the boiler room’s ceiling, and Steve suggests Henry might be up on the catwalk. “Who? Who him what?” says New York in response. No matter how confusingly forms her questions, the answer for this episode is always, “A ghost!”
Newy says she feels someone pushing up on her, so Erika and Steve decide to leave her in a room by herself. You can tell that this is a moment she’ll treasure for the rest of her life. She actually does OK with this and her “dowsling” rods…
She apparently gets some sort of data that can be used for…something, so she passes.
Finally, it’s time for the seance. When the idea is presented to her, New York lightly protests by saying, “Do you know I’m a Christian?”
Could she really hold it against anyone for just assuming that she is just nominally so?
The seance requires them to go even further down…
Closer to hell! Bwah ha ha!
New York reports that the cargo hold smells of “copper and old people.” Well, you know how old people love pennies. Two great tastes, that’s what I say. The seance starts.
And so does knocking. Erika tells New York to talk to the knocking ghost and New York says, “What the f*** do you want?” “Well, that’s one way,” says Erika, who’s so unflappable she should look into applying to be New York’s on-screen assistant if the psychic thing doesn’t work out. The temperature drops, New York hears a breath…
…and more and more, it’s clear that she just cannot hang.
She quits and, thus, fails once again.
And she, in fact, fails period.
She broke equipment, she quit tasks and even though she faced her fears, it wasn’t good enough.
Her check gets ripped up and she gets pissed off, ranting about the experience of doing this show and not getting her money.
“Get your camera shot I really don’t give a damn I’m not coming back here,” says Newy, threatening to quit the show. The following promo to vote for next week’s episode suggests, however, that she doesn’t have a choice and will be back next week. Ha ha!