Real Chance Of Love 2 Recap - Episode 2 - Prom Drama

Apparently, there are good dresses in this shot. And bad ones! Guess which are which and when you’re done in an hour, a recap awaits you below!

We begin on fitness:

On one hand, it’s nice that these girls care about their bodies. On the other, of course they do. On the third mutant hand, this is a scene right out of the second episode of Flavor of Love 3. I guess as in fitness, in reality TV repetition is key.

There’s a montage of situation-assessment. Apple thinks the house “kinda seems like a crazy home for hot girls.” Really? Not a hot home for crazy girls? P.S. likes Chance’s style, but vibed more with Real. She’s obviously still on the fence. Wiggly, however is not: she’s been into Real “since probably the first season,” so you know, she has months of history crushing on this guy. Having been spared from last episode’s elimination, she knows that it’s time to step her game up:

Indeed, that’s some accelerated flailing.

The girls are called upstairs, where they’re met with a building facade…inside the house!

Chance and Real announce that this is “the ding-dong challenge,” as if they all aren’t ding-dong challenges. For no reason other than the boys’ probable inability to grasp abstract ideas, one-by-one, the women will have to ring the doorbell and give the guys their “sales pitch.” This worries Wiggly, because she’s a self-described horrible salesperson. She sums it up by stating, “I can’t even sell a bottle of hairspray, so how am I going to sell myself?” And, of course, her language makes you wonder if this challenge was designed to imply the women are hookers, or if that’s just a necessary byproduct of a challenge that asks them to sell themselves. Seriously, what. The. Hell?

After some preparation, which includes Wiggly writing out a novel on rainbow paper…

…the girls are ready to go. First up is Lady, who hula hoops while rapping…

“I’m a lady, you can see that I’m classy / I can rock a hula hoop, turn around and be sassy,” it goes. Indeed, via combination of cut-offs, a polka-dot bikini and a hoop, you can definitely see that she’s classy. Goes without saying, even. Economize the use of English, please, Lady. But really, I’m impressed that she can do more than one thing at a time. The boys aren’t — they push a button and the door closes and everything’s reminiscent of both the peep-show challenge of the second episode of Rock of Love 2 and earlier this episode, when everything was reminiscent of the second episode Flavor of Love 3. Help! The meta is getting exponential and time’s folding back on itself and my brain is starting to leak out of my ears!

(Actually, that’s a lie: it started years ago. When VH1 hired me.)

Mamacita decides to serve the boys shots…

…but she drops them before the door can even open. All she can serve now is shattered dreams.

Apple reads a haiku:

I’m not going to chase
I don’t believe in games
It’s unnecessary.

I’ve never seen a 6-6-6 haiku. Either Apple is trying to tell the boys that she’s a rebel or Satan. Either way, I think she might be too much for them.

P.S. says, “I like ties, I wear ties and I tie ties.” I know you’re on the edge of your seat, wondering if she prefers the Windsor knot or Four-in-Hand, but I cannot provide the answer because she doesn’t get into it. So very sorry.

Classy offers education: a bachelors of science and two minors. I don’t really see where she’s going with this. This show isn’t called Real Chance of Information Retention.

Flirty can’t even get her pitch out.

Junk…

…has junk.

Blonde Baller announces that she can “literally bend over backwards for you guys.”

The gymnastics are great, but frankly, I’m more impressed that she used the word “literally” correctly. No one ever does on this channel.

Doll wears a dress.

Aloha tells them that “aloha” means “love.” She doesn’t mention that it also means goodbye.

Spanish Fly presents them with a calendar featuring herself in provocative poses (are there any other kinds of poses up in this piece?).

Hot Wings then interviews, straight-up, “Spanish Fly is a slut.” Stop being so vague, Wings! She says that those pictures in the calendar don’t show who Spanish Fly is as a person.

But apparently, tossing around a football does?

Baker has made a poster in glitter…

…I suppose to appeal to the S&M-loving Mariah Carey fans inside of both Real and Chance? It doesn’t work: Chance comments that some of the girls need to “calm down on the sexual side.” Oh, I forgot we were watching Real Chastity of Love. I mean, really? Good luck with that on VH1, Chance. Maybe HGTV would have been more his speed?

Pocahontas made real a rosary because she just prayed that God send her a godly man and Real is a “sign from God.” A sign that fake hair isn’t a sin? I love that “sign from God” and “creation of 51 Minds” are synonymous here. Finally, someone gets it!

Sassy brings a whip to get spanked with.

Real says he can see a “demon” in her eyes (no haiku necessary!), which means she can get very animalistic. To illustrate this point, he does this:

Or maybe he’s not illustrating the point at all. Maybe he’s just mugging for the sake of it. Maybe he’s simply existing. It’s hard to say what’s what anymore.

Finally, there is Wiggly.

Chance points out her nervousness:

Or, again, maybe he’s just existing.

Wiggly reads Real her epic poem or whatever it is. Part of it goes, “Real I just want you to know that I’m here for you and there’s nothing I want more than to call you my boo.” So it rhymes. That’s something. She goes on: “You’ve had my attention for quite a while / You could be it for me, you could be my all / There has been many times when I thought I found love and my heart was way up high / It’s hard to say at this point how hard I could possibly fall / I like your style, your romantic ways and of course that hair / To say the least, I want you in my life / I really do care.” In case you didn’t gather by the supersonic snoring in that clip, Real feigns sleep during this:

What a nice thing to do when someone’s pouring their heart out! And keep in mind that he’s regarded as the sensitive one. And rightfully so.

Junk, Pocahontas, Blonde Baller, Sassy and Spanish Fly are the women the boys choose to go on the night’s date. A note announces that the date will be to a prom. Pocahontas says this is a dream come true. Pocahontas is verging on Rodeo-level overstatement at this point. Don’t get me wrong, I love it, I just find it hard to believe that a mature woman has been dreaming about prom.

There’s good-ish news for the non-winners. They’re going to prom, too! Commence celebrating:

Wiggly explains that she went stag to her high school prom. It was probably because no one could keep up with her body’s high-speed vibrations. She’d be giving dudes heart attacks.

The girls are given dresses to wear to this prom…

And among the girls who didn’t win the challenge…

…disappointment abounds. Apparently, these dresses are not as nice as those that the winners were given…

I don’t know. The losers’ dresses just seem lacier and, uh, that’s it. I mean, this is VH1. Ain’t nobody in couture.

It turns out that there will be a winners’ prom (held elsewhere) and a losers’ prom (held at the house). Real and Chance interview that dressing the losers up in clothes they hate and making them party amongst themselves is to give them incentive to fight hard for these dates. Yeah, and I’m sure humiliating them has nothing to do with it.

At the good prom…

…Real and Chance get down like Kid n Play in House Party.

I mean, they’re not that masterful or whatever, but it’s a cute throwback to genius.

There is general merriment. Real dances with Pocahontas, whom he keeps referring to as “Poca” or “Poke, uh” or, as I prefer to hear it, “Polka.”

He says that “innerwise and outerwise,” Pocahontas is all woman. That distinction cannot be made too often on this season, apparently.

The guys have one-on-ones with the other girls. We learn:

Sassy is still here for Real.

Junk is a “smart, intelligent” woman.

Spanish Fly is, by Chance’s assessment, “all body, no brains.”

Blonde Baller concurs. She interviews, “This is not Rock of Love. You don’t need 50 lbs. of boobs to get this guy’s attention. You need yourself.” Yeah, she’s right. This is way more high-class than Rock of Love.

See?

Junk, whose time Spanish Fly interrupted, wonders, “Is this slutfest or the prom?” after Chance make out with Spanish Fly. Why can’t it be both? In fact, isn’t the thing about prom that it’s just a dressed-up slutfest, like, by definition?

Chance also tells Blonde Baller that she has “great hygiene.” Personal hygiene is always a crap shoot with VH1 personalities, so that’s something we learned, too!

Ultimately, a good time seems to have been had by all…

Isn’t that so gorgeous that you want to print it out now to carry around in your wallet? Go ahead. I won’t stop you.

The boys settle into their room at home, and Wiggly pays them a visit.

Real asks Wiggly if she walks around the house like this, and she says, “No, I just came to impress you.” I’m very relieved to know that she’s half-naked for the right reasons. “You feelin’ it, too, go ‘head,” she says to Chance. He’s such a lookie loo, right? Try, just try to resist Wiggly, Chance. Real apologizes for “falling asleep” during her poem. Ah, redemption. That “apology” is about as affectionate as it gets…

Then Lady comes to visit and drops the bomb that she once dated women.

But that’s in the past. She’s into guys now. No, really. Real isn’t so sure.

(You can tell by his suspicious eyes.)

Finally, Mamacita comes through.

Real asks Mamacita if she’s here for TV or a man. “All of the above?” she says. Given the circumstances, that’s such a reasonable answer. I mean, couldn’t you always ask that same question of the star(s) of the show? Apparently Real doesn’t see it that way, because he says, “This is not a game show!” He also says they aren’t doing it for fun. Hey everyone? This group-dating scenario that finds house facades being built indoors for a “ding-dong challenge” in which women dubbed such things as Blonde Baller, Junk and Hot Wings attempt to “sell themselves?” This whole thing right here? It’s serious.

Elimination!

Sassy is called first, and for that, she is boob-shakingly happy.

It all comes down to Mamacita and Wiggly. Real has no chemistry with Wiggly, but Mamacita seems to be here for TV. I mean, how dare she enter a televised competition for TV? Mamacita confirms that she is there for the boys, and Chance calls her a “bucket of fun,” so she’s saying. Wiggly is going home.

“If I had to do it over again, I would probably definitely been up their ass and been like yo, here. I’m here I’m here I’m here and try to make a connection,” she interviews. She learned too late that old adage: the way to a man’s heart is through his ass.

Wait, what?

Related content
Real Chance of Love 2 show page
Real Chance of Love videos and extras

This entry was posted on Monday, August 10th, 2009 at 9:55 pm