Tool Academy 2 Recap – Episode 4 – Tool Tantrums




ta2_4_281 Can these guys handle anything? Just two bits of toolishness before we get to the meat of this episode:


“I ain’t trying to be friends with nobody here. I don’t care if nobody likes me or not. That’s not the reason why I’m here. I’m here ‘cause of my girl,” says Charm. Good thing he explained that. Now the guys will stop mistaking him as their friend and start treating him like the competitor that he is.

(Also, “I’m not here to make friends!” SQUEE and LOL!)

Also, check out the hazard of sitting behind Mike…


His spikes can invade your frame, making you look like you’re rocking a Robin Williams-thick bush of chest hair. Amazingly, it only looks moderately more ridiculous as chest hair than as head hair.

Anyway, today’s challenge is all about appreciation. And what better way to appreciate someone than in retrospect? That being the case, the guys attend mock funerals for their girlfriends.


Here they hear a prerecorded statement on how their girlfriends feel mistreated, and then they make their retrospective amends. This proves to be an emotional situation…




…for almost everyone involved…




It’s kind of creepy, because after the guys have their shot to ramble, the girls pop up out of their coffins, and sometimes they kiss while the girl is still in the coffin


Most of the talk breaks down like this: the girls feel like they’re low on the guys’ priorities list, and the guys are really, really sorry about that. The glaring exception is Mike, who thinks this lesson is the “biggest joke in the world.”


He also takes the necrophilia vibe to the next level by noting, “You’re dead but what’s in my pants is very much alive.” And you know, I don’t really fault him for his attitude. Sure, this was useful for many of the guys, but anything that’s been used as a plot point on an episode of Golden Girls (such as a fake funeral) is kind of open for ridicule.

If the guys lost it during therapy, in the challenge they get it back, stomp it on the ground, tear it into pieces and scatter it in the wind.


For you see, they are being made to watch their girls on dates with suave (by reality TV standards), clean-cut “true perfect gentlemen” who use their hair gel sparingly…




Immediately, a riot breaks out over the prospect…




But hey, at least Mike and Tyler make time to embrace…


…so it’s not totally worthless.

Once the guys are calmed down, they’re sent inside. We then watch Trina watch the guys watch the girls watch the gentlemen show them how they should be treated.


What’s funny is that each girl is supposed to be on “the date of a lifetime,” and many of them go on and on about how they’re never taken to fancy dinners and such and, like…


…they’re in the backyard. Reduced expectations are gateways for tragedy. Anyway, some of the guys take this terribly, like Terry, who asks that the camera be taken out of his face…


…because he’s not there to make camera time. Wait, what?

Frank, too, has a hard time…


…perhaps with good reason, though, as Christina refers to him as “quite the douchebag,” and is so clearly into her date that she asks how she can get in touch with him after the show. Trina suggests that this is her giving Frank a taste of his own medicine. Maybe, but she’s definitely enjoying licking the spoon.

John, whose tantrum landed him with a bandaged hand…


…takes it more in stride than you’d expect. OK, so his strides are more like globe-traversing leaps, thanks to his giant stature, but he doesn’t blow up, thanks mostly to the fact that Sarah’s body language suggests she couldn’t care less about the guy they’ve paired her with.


It is Mike, though, who takes it the worst.


After a preliminary chill-out session with John…


…(who’s the Hobbes to Mike’s Calvin, according to Dre P), Mike takes off…


Where is he running? Who knows?


Who cares, even? What’s most important is that he ripped off his shirt in the process.


Oh, and Charm has the most good-natured reaction…


But this pisses everyone off anyway, because duh: he’s Charm.

In the end, John, Mike and Frank end up in the Bottom 3…


…but despite providing TV-ready theatrics, it is Mike who is bounced.


He pleads with Rebecca to take him back, despite earlier interviews suggesting he was done with her. “I’m gonna make you the number one person in my life…I’m gonna grow up. We’re gonna grow together. Promise,” he tells her. Perhaps unfortunately, she accepts and goes home with him…


Good luck with that future thing…


It seems off to such a happy start!

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