I also believe that we are doomed.
I don’t even have to twist things around, because the episode opens with toolishness in the air…
…thanks to John and Stew’s asses.
They both start the day farting. John says, “They call that a dirty bomb where I’m from.” He’s probably not referring to the Middle East or anyplace where there is a true potential for dirty bombs, because that would just get confusing. We hear that John can produce smells like those of stale tomato juice and a pile of babies in a bonfire. I thought you should know that just in case you were in the market for a more visceral fart recap experience.
And speaking of flatulence, there were a bunch of old men up in the Tool Academy this week!
Just kidding. It was the tools, who were made up to look older, since playing dress-up and applying latex are therapeutic.
Wait…that can’t be right. And yet, it is. That’s the conceit of this week’s therapy on maturity. Reality TV: putting a bald cap on couples counseling since ’09.
One by one, the tools come out in their older egos, and talk about the future with their girls.
Frank talks about this exercise accelerating his aging crisis, and how he doesn’t prioritize having a job the way Christina does.
Stew, who looks like a Devil’s Rejects reject, has been unemployed for almost a year, and that scares Amanda. But not more than the fact that the old version of him looks like he runs with a crowd of sadists, apparently.
Amanda notes that Tyler looks like Pinocchio‘s Geppetto. Damn right he does. Great eye. Amanda should start a blog, if she hasn’t already. Anyway, Tyler’s former interest in babies and the long-term is brought up again, prompting him to ask Shealyn, “Wouldn’t you rather me marry you when I’m ready, too?” She’d probably rather he’d be ready now the most.
Charm admits that he’s been living “the young lifestyle,” but he does want to move in with Andrea and he wants a kid in the long term. Good on him for continuing to play the game as well as his declaration of “I’m not here to make friends!” last episode suggested he was.
Shannon admits that she now finds the future uncertain since Dan admitted he’d been unfaithful. But he hasn’t cheated in almost a year, if that matters. Annnd…it doesn’t, it seems.
Leah says that Dre P looks like “the guy from Sanford and Son.” There was a time when people young and old knew Redd Foxx’s name, and it wasn’t even that long ago. Sadly. But that was then, and this is the future: Dre is now taking his relationship with Leah very seriously and seeing her more as a wife. He didn’t understand his relationship responsibilities before Tool Academy.
Terry looks like old Biff from Back to the Future 2. Pretty impressive production value there — I wonder when they’ll bust out the Hoverboards? Anyway, Nicole feels like she can’t trust him and he feels the same way, since she’s been going out “doing stuff, too.” By out, he must mean the Tool Academy backyard and by “doing stuff,” he means letting another guy touch her hand, which “hurt” him. Ugh, this guy…
Dre says John looks like the principal from Saved by the Bell. I don’t know, he looks more creepy gym teacher than Mr. Belding to me, but I didn’t see him in person, so what do I know? Sarah says she’s been wanting John to tone down the alpha male thing and that she’s been seeing change, and then he shows her a scar that resulted from his freak out last week when all the “gentlemen” showed up to take the girls out on dates…
…and it’s clear that John’s most major change is brush burn.
Indeed, the next morning, John spots a bunch of ants in the bunk, and so he flips over his bed…
…and tears down the Tool Academy sign…
He says, “This is a joke and a s***hole.” Maybe if he didn’t fart so much, it’d be less of a s***hole?
The challenge finds the tools and their girlfriends’ building a “nest egg,” but literally transporting eggs across this pool of what must be leftover You Can’t Do That on Television slime…
Most of the people sink in, but Christina notes that Terry is “like Jesus,” for his ability to walk on slime…
It leads him and Nicole to victory. I kinda wanted Tyler to win, just because of his long green slime nipples…
Also, compared to Terry, who becomes displeased when Nicole says she’s starting to feel sick with just one minute left on the clock…
…Tyler’s totally there for Shealyn when she has similar problems…
On the date, Terry continues to defer all responsibility, and say he doesn’t trust Nicole since she went on a date with a guy that she had to go on per the set-up of that particular challenge…
He says that this is their last chance. Don’t threaten her with a good time, Terry.
In the end, he lands in the Bottom 3 with John and Stew…
…but it is the perpetually aggro John who gets bounced, which is pretty shocking given that he was such a massive presence (literally and otherwise) this season.
He says he couldn’t agree with the judges’ assessment more. Sarah decides she will be going home with him because, “he’s my tool and I love him.” Well, when she puts it like that, it sounds almost adorable.
John tells the remaining girls on the risers, “I’m not gonna do what everyone thinks I’m gonna do and freak out.” Nice Half Baked reference! The feeling of loss is only growing. In his exit interview, John says, “I’m gonna go back to my hometown and be a slightly less loud less obnoxious less violent assh*** there.” Realistic. What a guy. Will miss him hugely.
Oh, and once he’s gone, Charm and Frank seem to think they have to argue to determine who’s going to be the alpha male then and there…
Their argument goes, “Blah blah blah.” “Yeah? Well, blah blah blah.” If you were expecting different, you haven’t been watching this show.
Related content
Tool Academy 2 show page
Tool Academy videos and extras
Tool Academy 2 » Watch Video
| Episode | Type | Title | Date |
|---|---|---|---|
| 210 | Misc. | Videos: Semester 2 in Review! | 11/10/09 |
| 210 | Full Episode | Videos: Tool Graduation | 11/09/09 |
| 210 | Bonus Clips | Videos: Finale Bonus Clips and Exit Interview | 11/08/09 |
| 210 | Show Clips | Videos: Tool Graduation Show Clips | 11/08/09 |
| 209 | Full Episode | Videos: Family Weekend at Tool Academy | 11/02/09 |
| 209 | Show Clips | Videos: Family Weekend at Tool Academy Show Clips | 11/01/09 |
| 209 | Bonus Clips | Videos: Episode 9 Bonus Clips and Exit Interview | 11/01/09 |
| 208 | Full Episode | Videos: Tool Tiffs and Love Lessons | 10/26/09 |
| 208 | Bonus Clips | Videos: Episode 8 Bonus Clips and Exit Interview | 10/25/09 |
| 208 | Show Clips | Videos: Tool Tiffs and Love Lessons Show Clips | 10/25/09 |
| 207 | Full Episode | Videos: Tools and Lies | 10/19/09 |
| 207 | Bonus Clips | Videos: Episode 7 Bonus Clips and Exit Interview | 10/18/09 |
| 207 | Show Clips | Videos: Tools and Lies Show Clips | 10/18/09 |
| 206 | Full Episode | Videos: Can Tools Communicate? | 10/12/09 |
| 206 | Bonus Clips | Videos: Episode 6 Bonus Clips and Exit Interview | 10/11/09 |
| 206 | Show Clips | Videos: Can Tools Communicate? Show Clips | 10/11/09 |
| 205 | Full Episode | Videos: Future Tools | 10/05/09 |
| 202 | Full Episode | Videos: Freak Outs and Fidelity | 10/05/09 |
| 205 | Show Clips | Videos: Future Tools Show Clips | 10/04/09 |
| 205 | Bonus Clips | Videos: Episode 5 Bonus Clips and Exit Interview | 10/04/09 |
| 204 | Full Episode | Videos: The Tools Rebel | 9/28/09 |
| 204 | Bonus Clips | Videos: Episode 4 Bonus Clips and Exit Interview | 9/27/09 |
| 204 | Show Clips | Videos: The Tools Rebel Show Clips | 9/27/09 |
| 203 | Full Episode | Videos: Modesty and Manscaping | 9/21/09 |
| 203 | Show Clips | Videos: Modesty and Manscaping Show Clips | 9/20/09 |
| 203 | Bonus Clips | Videos: Episode 3 Bonus Clips and Exit Interview | 9/20/09 |
| 202 | Show Clips | Videos: Freak Outs and Fidelity Show Clips | 9/06/09 |
| 202 | Bonus Clips | Videos: Episode 2 Bonus Clips and Exit Interview | 9/06/09 |
| 202 | Show Clips | Videos: Party Kings Show Clips | 9/01/09 |
| 201 | Bonus Clips | Videos: Episode 1 Bonus Clips and Exit Interview | 8/30/09 |
| 201 | Full Episode | Videos: Party Kings | 8/26/09 |
| -- | Misc. | Videos: Tool Academy: Most Tool-Like Moments | 3/23/09 |
| -- | Show Clips | Videos: Tool Academy 2: Episode 3 Sneak Peek | 09/15/09 |
| -- | Show Clips | Videos: Tool Academy 2: Episode 4 Sneak Peek | 09/25/09 |
| -- | Show Clips | Videos: This Sunday the Tools Learn a Lesson in Maturity | 09/29/09 |
| -- | Show Clips | Videos: The Tools Tackle Communication During a Group Therapy Session | 10/05/09 |
| -- | Show Clips | Videos: This Sunday the Tools Take Lie Detector Tests | 10/14/09 |
| -- | Show Clips | Videos: This Sunday One Little Piggy Goes Home! | 10/27/09 |
| -- | Show Clips | Videos: This Sunday One Tool Graduates from Tool Academy! | 11/04/09 |
| More Tool Academy 2 Episodes | |||
18 responses to to Tool Academy 2 Recap – Episode 5 – I Believe That Old Tools Are Our Future
“Indeed, the next morning, John spots a bunch of aunts in the bunk, and so he flips over his bed…”
Really, Rich? Did they try to pinch his cheeks, too?
OMG, why is Charm still there? He is such a *`(_++#+#!+%~$)@ He was one that I didn’t like from the very beginning and has not shown any progress!
HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!!! “Don’t threaten her with a good time, Terry.” BEST. LINE. EVER!! I wonder what Tiffany’s doing now…
Really? Charm needs TO GO! he is known as the ^)))@#%`$&*$^^!% talking tool and its true…bc that is all he does. he has obviously not changed AT ALL because he still continues to do it. Another point granted…. dre P has cheated…but i don’t think he is a complete tool..its his freaking girlfriend..she thinks she is so ghetto and can kick anyone’s $*$^)~#%!$^$$(( bc she is a nasty $*$^)~#%!$^$$(( stripper…. I’d like to see it….really…I would…bc then her $*$^)~#%!$^$$(( would go home.
Haha, thanks, Jo.
Charm needs to go home, I hope he does next episode. He should have been gone before John. I thought either Charm or T shaw should have went home this episode but I definietly know there is NO way Charm is going to win in the end because of his attitude and he only cares about himself.
CHARM NEEDS TO GO I LIKED JOHN HE WAS DOING BETTER !!! CHARMS MYSPACE SAYS HE’S SINGLE IDK WHY HE IS STILL THERE THEY SHOULD BRING JOHN BACK AND GET KICK CHARM OUT AND TERRY
I thought the quote at the end was a Jerry Maguire reference. Which was then referenced in Half Baked.
And apparently I need a life.
Finally temper tantrum John went home woo hooo! but what was up with the scar on his arm? Was that because of his temper-tantrums too? and I noticed Leah had a bandage on her neck did she get a hicky? lol Well the old men exercise was funny but you know some of these guys need to realize that growing up and getting old is a natural part of life ya know there’s no if ands or butts around it and what was up with T Shaw um she was ONLY getting a hand massage on that fake date and it wasn’t like she was all over him and _)%!!!!_+^+%`@`% if you can’t take the heat then get out of the kitchen karma once again is a ~*~(@+%`())`@@`(` but yeah funny how John L was soo calm about getting elimnated i wonder if he is gonna work on his temper
I wonder what happened to Leah’s neck. If I remember correctly, I think she had the bandage on part of last episode as well.
I dont think Jon should of been sent home… If you notice every other dude that left were looked at like $~$#()~+#!#!%$^` and talked down on and to top it off :::Drum Roll::: the ladies thought Jon was a coo dude despite his anger… Terry should of went home hands down…
charm is ugly and full of himself. his nasty lips freak me out
These guys are best in this busness
i hate chram if he doesnt go me and all of my friends rent going to whatch tool acadamy eny more!!!!
Now, Charm needs to be voted off.All he is a T*O*O*L!!
&& what was Dan thinking when he got voted off “Umm..You look beautiful” What a line.She should have left him there to lie to everybody else.She could do so much better.
Can’t wait till next weeks episode….:)
I’m very diappointed in last night’s show. Why is it, when “Giant Tool” was tearing up the set, everyone just step asided and let him do his thing? It’s not that I disagree with the decision, it’s more about how it was done. If Leah was the problem, then say so. Dre P was lead to believe that he wasn’t making any progress, but the powers that be allowed someone like “Charm” to stay on the show. Charm should be the “poster child” for tools. I loved your show, but I think it’s time for me to move on to something else.
charm u are so ugly… damn
OMG! If Tyler, Tat-tooled, isnt attracted to Shealyn, Ill take him off her hands! That man is ultra sexy! Shes a whiney little girl! He pulls all of their weight on the show while she cries. I do agree about Charm, he shoulda been gone a long time ago!