Tool Academy 2 Recap – Episode 7 – Sleeping Dogs Lie

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Q: How can you tell when a tool is lying?

A: His lips are moving…and he isn’t strapped to one of these things:

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Because, really, most of the guys were honest this week. Bizarre!

Before we get to the lie detectors, let’s pause for a moment to examine Stew’s plan for this show’s $100,000 prize, should he receive it. The plan is, in a word, trailers. Fixing them up and selling them.

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“You can buy a used trailer for like $5,000,” he explained. “So for $100,000, I could probably buy 200 trailers if I want to.” Probably not, though. And look, a calculator costs less than $5, so he should probably invest in one of those up first.

Stew also voiced concern when Trina announced the guys were to undergo lie-detector tests as part of today’s therapy. “I tried faking a breathalyzer before and that s*** didn’t work,” he explained. Indeed, sucking on all the pennies in the world won’t help you outsmart a lie detector. Quite the contrary, actually.

Frank was, well, frank regarding the therapy:

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“I just hate the truth!” Gee, can’t imagine why he failed this challenge/show.

The guys were strapped in…

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…and they unleashed. And in all but one example, they told the truth. This was wise, of course, given that the machine would most likely pick up on any falsehoods. But since when do these guys do anything that could be described as wise?

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The question: “Does Amanda’s body disgust you when you two have sex?”
Stew’s answer: No.
The verdict: He was telling the truth.

The question: “Do you want to spend the rest of your life with Amanda?”
Stew’s answer: Yes.
The verdict: He was telling the truth.

This outcome pleased Amanda, who exclaimed through tears, “We’re so cute together. And I feel like that’s being in love!” Mmmm, close enough for VH1, I guess.

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The question: “Do you resent Christina for bringing you to the Tool Academy?”
Frank’s answer: No.
The verdict: He was telling the truth.

The question: “Do you have any long-term lies you haven’t admitted to Christina?”
Frank’s answer: Yes
The verdict: He was telling the truth.

…But! He wouldn’t admit what those lies were, chalking them up to white lies that he couldn’t remember specifically, much to Christina’s frustration.

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Given that it leads to their breakup (spoiler!), he’ll probably remember his supposed forgetting for the rest of his life. Irony: ain’t it grand?

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The question: “Are you comfortable in your relationship with Shea?”
Tyler’s answer: Yes
The verdict: He was lying.

He said that this came out as a lie because of the revelations in Tool Academy, and how such revelations have thrust their relationship into uncertainty. As a result of this, Trina suggested that maybe it was too soon to bring promise rings into the picture, so Shealyn ended up giving them back to Tyler for a second time.

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They need to attach strings to those rings, because they seem more like yo-yos with all the back-and-forth.

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The question: “Are you in love with Andrea?”
Charm’s answer: Yes
The verdict: He was telling the truth.

The question: “While dating Andrea, have you hooked up with girls that you have not told Andrea about?”
Charm’s answer: Yes
The verdict: He was telling the truth.

And telling times 10. Charm admitted to having slept with at least 10 girls since beginning his relationship with Andrea. You know he at one point bragged about that number, too. It’s funny, the thin line between pride and shame. It’s thinner than even the one between love and hate, as Charm undoubtedly is now aware.

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The question: “Have you ever cheated on Nicole?”
T Shaw’s answer: Yes
The verdict: He was telling the truth.

This proved devastating to Nicole, probably because Terry wasn’t part of the giant wave of confessing that went down in Episode 2.

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It’s really sad to see her so upset. I post the following picture not to mock her eye makeup that’s running amok…

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…but as a cautionary tale: boyfriends, do not cheat on your girlfriends or she will take you on TV and end up looking like this, displaying what you’ve put her through all over her face.

After all of the confessing, the last thing most of the girlfriends wanted to do was put complete and place absolute trust in their boyfriends, and yet, that’s exactly what the challenge asked. The girls were blindfolded and had to make it through an obstacle course using only instructions from their men…

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It was all about crawling…

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…and sliding…

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…and ratting…

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Then, when they were finally reunited…

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…they had to both jump in a car, and the still-blindfolded women had to drive them to the finish line. Hijinks, of course, ensued.

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The most infuriating of said hijinks involved Charm telling Andrea to push the red button, and then to push the middle button, except this meant nothing to her, as she was blindfolded and could not possibly differentiate between buttons in that manner. Duh. Oh well, at least Charm’s consistent in his egocentrism. Consistency counts as a positive trait, right?

In the end, Stew and Amanda ended up winning the challenge.

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Stew, who earlier in the episode admitted he cares more about winning the show than rehabilitating his relationship (since, apparently, problems can be fixed at home), also said that should he and Amanda win, he can continue living without a job “for a little while!” Doesn’t flipping trailers count as a job? Should they win, they should invest in a lot of duct tape to keep Stew’s pie hole shut. They can keep the rolls next to the calculator.

In the end, it came down to Charm and Frank, but because Charm was ultimately honest, it was Frank who got the boot…

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He was charged with skirting around the issues brought up via his lie-detector test results. Christina, in turn…

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…skirted around him, dumping him and leaving on her own.

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But don’t cry for her: just take solace in the fact that pain is temporary. Just like bad boyfriends.

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Tool Academy 2 show page
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