To the immediate future, and not a second beyond it…
Now that we know that things fizzled out immediately between Hot Wings and Chance and Doll and Real, it seems a little pointless to mire ourselves in the details of the Real Chance of Love 2 finale, which was all about testing connections that frayed so easily. So instead of a full recap, let’s say goodbye to all and call it a day.
You were shamed for doing something that women on VH1 have heretofore been praised for. Next time, wear your threesome badge with pride. It doesn’t make you a bad person, just an experienced one.
You always sounded on the verge of falling asleep, and I often couldn’t blame you for that. You also provided this wonderful exchange with Real when he busted out your audition tape:
Sassy: I look good on camera!
Real: You ain’t gotta be conceited.
Sassy: I’m not!
Hmmm, maybe you had to be there. Anyway, when placed in front of the proper background, you provide glamour:
It may be ’90s Glamour Shots-type glamour, but hey, this is VH1: we take whatever glamour we can get.
Also, maybe you are a dominatrix so kudos for being able to get your freak on without getting spanked for it:
Instead, you’re the one who does the spanking. ‘Atta girl.
I will miss the weird things that you said (“After tonight, if we act retarded, if we act cute, like that’s gonna, like, depend on, like, whether we stay or not,” and “I wish you both the best of luck ever”) and the even weirder things you did…
…especially with your boobs…
…and your, uh, not boobs…
No, you do not look like a fat pig in that.
Thank you for being adorable and teaching me how to love all over again.
Goodbye, Hot Wings.
Thank you for being adventurous both around alligators…
…you never took any of his crap, even during the final elimination (“When [love's] staring you in your face, why you questioning it?”). It may seem like a whole bunch of effort for nothing at this point, but just believe that it had a higher purpose. One that we may not even fully understand yet.
Goodbye, Real and Chance.
You were both very expressive.
I think I’m gonna miss you most of all! Thanks for encapsulating this absurdity so well.
One last walk of shame (since it’s always the best part of these finales)…
…and we’re done. You can check out more finale screen shots in the gallery below. That’s all I’ve got. But really at this point, haven’t I given you enough?