For The Love Of Ray J 2 Recap - Episode 4 - A Kiss Is Not A Kiss

Awwwwwkwarrrrrd!

We begin with the girls looking deep inside to assess the state of their relationships with Ray and/or to find moderately bitchy things to say about each other.

Some items of discussion include: Mz Berry’s need to step it up, Extra’s inability to kiss and tell (she’s not telling because she isn’t kissing!), Adorable’s lack of aggression and Popper getting lost in the mix. She pops, yes, but more often she is locked in the background.

Instead of delivering the vague indication of what the girls will be doing today via video message, Ray does it live.

He calls on the girls to step it up. Wow, I’m so glad he didn’t phone it in this week. Also, today’s challenge will show Ray if the girls can impress him. That’s what he says almost verbatim. Anyway, they’re carted to the scene of it, and it turns out that they’ll be styling and creative-directing a Sean Jean photo shoot starring Ray in a bit of Monday line-up synergy. It would seem that Ray, too, wants to work for Diddy. Whichever team makes him look (but more importantly, feel the best) wins. The theme of the shoot is “We own the night.” I know a few candle-toting feminists who beg to differ, Ray. Ray explains the rationale for this exercise: he wants to test girls’ sexiness, classiness and edginess, “and what better way to do that than with a Sean Jean photo shoot?” I don’t know, having them appear in it instead of you? Just an idea!

The girls are divided into four teams:

A few notable things happen as the girls plan their shoot. Adorable explains that she knows that she can pick out jewelery for Ray’s shoot, because she’s a girl and if you don’t know how to do that, you shouldn’t be here. Because then you wouldn’t be a girl and this show is not for the love of bicuriousness. Duh! Also, Extra shows off some heretofore unseen hair:

I’m so glad that when it comes to hair, she packed extra!

(Thank you, thank you. I’ll be here all season, riffing on the girls’ names.)

Finally, and most importantly, Caliente gets subtitled!

At long last! Man, it feels good to be home!

The individual shoots are not incredibly eventful. On Team 1, Flossy thinks Jaguar is demanding. Whatever works!

Team 2 has an outer-space set-up for Ray.

“Since you own the night, at night the moon is out, the stars are out…” goes the rationale. Yeah, I guess when you’re in space, it’s always night somewhere. Wait, what? I think we all know that the fact of the matter is that in space, no one can hear you scream with melisma or sing any R&B for that matter. They also have him moonwalk, and it turns out that Ray J is…not M.J. Whatever. There’s nothing wrong with only doing you.

Team 3 suggests he do a “gangster move”:

Exotica likes it, and you can tell from the stuff she hangs from her ears that the girl’s got taste. Popper attempts to “get Ray J in the attitude”…

…boy, you’ve got to prove your love to…her…?

In the end, this set-up is very silly…

…which actually really fits Ray well, considering how down he is to mug for the camera this time around.

Finally, Team 4 has him throw around some money…

The best part of this shoot is Caliente’s transcribed message to Ray:

What a gem. These subtitles are a total upgrade for her character. Thanks to them, she will not be ignored…by me, at least!

The final shots are presented.

Team 1’s:

Team 2’s:

Team 3’s:

Team 4’s:

Ray ends up going with Team 1 because their photo explains “everything that’s happening right now,” as far as his life goes. I guess this means he enjoys living amongst stark, white walls. Anyway, some of the other girls are visibly upset to lose:

I love these frequent reminders of tragic investment. Really sets this season apart from the rest. Paradeez has a funny line, in which she compares Ray to a pimp and Platinum to a hooker in the winning shot, saying that they own the streets, not the night. Well, if they’re in the sex trade, they probably own both. I mean, hookers are called “ladies of the night” for a reason, right?

Jaguar wins a solo date with Ray, which means Flossy and Platinum will be taken out tomorrow. Ray walks Jaguar into a room, and it’s basically a set including the bed that was used in the photo shoot.

It’s just that the lighting is softer. How romantic. I mean, I should take that slight disdain back. Of course they’re on a set. As usual! Since this is a TV show, their whole house is technically a set. This date is actually an unpretentious way of expressing that, much like the 2003 version of The Texas Chainsaw Massacre was finally an unpretentious way of remaking a movie that has been remade dozens of times under different franchise names. So basically, Ray is Leatherface, that’s what I’m really saying.

Anyway, he gives Jag a diamond necklace…

…which if you follow the “set” logic (and remember that a jeweler was on hand to provide for the shoot), is technically a prop. But a later shot of the piece reveals it’s one hell of a nice prop:

Props on the prop, Ray.

Anyway, Ray sits with Jag and tells her that she has the full package and gives him a positive vibe. In response, she holds onto that package and gives off an avoidant vibe when he leans in for a kiss and she just kisses the side of his face. As I said above: awkward.

Anyway, since she just took some pictures of him, he wants to take some pictures of her, so he gives her some lingerie that she gamely dons for a sexy photo shoot:

Featuring a cornucopia of food, the shoot seems perfectly timed for Thanksgiving. Except what she’s giving is very little because yet another attempt at kissing is rebuffed:

She’s not here to make friends with Ray’s tongue! After she changes back into her normal clothes, she tells Ray, “All in due time,” regarding the affection thing. She adds in an interview that she wants to make a real connection with him and not open up everything right away. Not even her mouth! Ray interviews that there weren’t really fireworks on the date — it wasn’t 4th of July, more like Easter. Well, Thanksgiving is my story and I’m sticking with it.

At home, the kissing issue (aka, the kissue) is brought up again via Extra…

When Jag informs Ex that she refrained, Ex puts her in her place:

There’s the VH1 philosophy I’ve come to know and love! Atta girl!

Ray interviews that the Jacuzzi is the perfect place to bond with these girls. By “bond,” he he’s referring to skin sticking together as it does with Crazy Glue, and by “these girls,” he means Flossy:

They are always bonded in the Jacuzzi. Crazy Glue isn’t water soluble, right?

Meanwhile, Luscious pours water on herself…

…fun fact? Also, an increasingly disengaged Adorable interviews that she doesn’t pursue guys; they pursue her. I’m telling you, that “I’ve never had to fight for a man before” supercut is kicking and screaming and clawing to be made…ironically enough. Adorable calls her mom, who’s awesome and literary:

She ends the call by telling her daughter:

That is the newest phrase on the street. Anytime you say something that could be misinterpreted as pessimistic or gloomy, just tag a, “No Eeyore,” to the end of it, and you’re absolved of sounding like a web blanket. Look: Reality TV romance never works out. No Eeyore. Luscious will never live down her homey-smashing past. No Eeyore. Extra’s hair will never regain its premiere-episode bounce. No Eeyore.

The next day is all about Platinum and Flossy’s date. Ray informs us that this date will be “the perfect opportunity to get to know these girls,” and then we see him sitting away from them on the way to their date:

Yeah, he’s really taking that perfect opportunity. No Eeyore.

During the date, he first spends some one-on-one time with Flossy. Flossy feels like many of the girls don’t have good intentions. She wants Ray with a good, wholesome girl. Well, he’s come to the right place. Reality TV is just teeming with those. He likes how many times Flossy says “like.” She reminds him of Stacey Dash in Clueless. She gets that a lot. Indeed, unlike some people, Flossy does not wear polyester hair, OK?

And unlike others, she does engage in full-on open-mouth kissing with Ray:

Ray then sits with Platinum, who repeats in several different ways that she is there for him. They also kiss.

Then, burgers and smack-talk:

During this part of the date, Flossy reveals that Heartbreaker is a stripper who knows how to make her booty clap. Ray seems crestfallen that she hasn’t shared her special skill with him.

At home, Popper pulls him aside…

She’s pissed that she isn’t getting dates. She feels like in order to get Ray’s attention, she has to take her clothes off. Given Ray’s fixed gaze when she does…

…it’s safe to say that she isn’t wrong.

Outside, Platinum reveals the smack-talk portion of their date…

Heartbreaker is pissed when she finds out that Flossy said that she’s a stripper. “I get on the pole when there’s nothing happening at the bar,” she explains. Well, don’t we all? Luscious chimes in, saying that she thinks Flossy needs to shut the f*** up. Luscious is wise: if any of my years of VH1 watching have taught me anything, it’s that you don’t want to piss of a stripper, even if you’re dealing with a stripper by circumstance, not vocation.

Finally, Adorable and Ray’s tenuous connection suffers one last gasp.

She says she’s there for him, but she’s not aggressive, as we know. He doesn’t think she’s trying hard enough. Yep. We’ve been watching that be established all episode. Way to spread it on thick, everyone! The exchange ends, hilariously, like this:

Ray: Do you wanna talk to me some more?
Adorable: Do you wanna talk to me some more?
Ray: If you wanna talk to me some more.

I can’t imagine either of them not wanting to talk more about wanting to talk more. What a fascinating conversation. Clearly, these are two people with so much to say to each other.

Elimination.

Flossy gets the first glass, to the chagrin of many. Expect her to be punished for this next episode. When Ray gives Caliente her glass (third, after Platinum), he tells her, “I love your vibe.” Indeed, her grooves are great. Also hilarious is that when Exotica gets her glass, Ray tells her that she is hot and she openly agrees with this. These girls! They’re so bad!

Popper is called up. Popper is going home. “It just ain’t poppin’ the way Popper should be poppin’,” is how Ray explains it. As a big believer in name-play, to this I say, fair enough!

Popper assures us that she’s gonna move on and keep dancing. Oh bother!

It comes down to Jag and Adorable. Jag is called down and she’s actually crying at this point.

He needs a girl that will go all out. Can she do that? Probably. She is, after all, here for the love of Ray J. She gets her glass, which means that Adorable is going home. She’s holding back, but it’s just too late in the game for that.

“If there’s not mutual feelings, it’ll never work,” explains Adorable in her exit interview. This is reasonable, but decidedly fatalistic at the same time. Yes Eeeyore!

Related content
For the Love of Ray J 2 show page
For the Love of Ray J 2 videos and extras
RAYJ.com
Ray J - Exclusive Video Interview

This entry was posted on Monday, November 23rd, 2009 at 11:22 pm