Funnily enough, nothing about this picture suggests “tough”…
But whatever, it’s sexy time! Yay!
The first thing we loved this week?
- The sexy photo shoot (duh!)
Many, many photos of the women giving sexy were shown. Here are some of them:
A few things worth noting happened during this shoot. We found out that Liz pronounce “lingerie” like “linger-y.” Whatever, if it’s Liz, it’s adorable. On her modeling philosophy, Rocky said, “You’ve gotta wanna f*** the camera!” Another thing you gotta wanna do is make Steve’s panel of guys wanna f*** you. For the most part they did: most of the women got good reviews (I think that Jenna’s was good, at least – one guy said she looked “slutty,” which seems like something you want to hear given the task). Taylor’s feedback, on the other hand, was…not so positive. “Women that need to go to the bathroom is not really sexy to me,” said one of the guys. Maybe, but you know what is sexy? Subject-verb agreement.
- Liz’s date with Dave
OK, so maybe “love” isn’t the right word for this, but it sure was something. After wrestling around with Dave…
…and then watching him get choked out (see above) with a reaction that initially didn’t suggest it had affected her nearly as much as she later said it did…
…Liz reported that their relationship is “haltered a little bit.” If you don’t know what that means (and god help you if you do), basically it’s like this: because Liz was faced with the brutality of Dave’s job, they’ve gone from this…
And to that point…
- Liz and Dave found themselves out of step during the dancing challenge…
Again, not exactly something to love, but who can resist a visual metaphor?
- Sally stepped it up
She had such chemistry with her dance partner, she even worked in an impromptu kiss:
After doing so well in the dancing challenge, the sky’s the limit for Sally. There’s no dance she can’t do. Next up: the horizontal ones.
- Taylor’s dancing
This one speaks for itself.
- Taylor’s utter obliviousness
- Tina’s obliviousness
“Is this conservative?” she asked about freaking floral print. It is, and of course to Taylor, who probably even considers crotchless wardrobe pieces to be conservative, it was especially conservative. And so, she gave Tina a makeover (her second in that many weeks, what luck!).
The funniest thing?
Taylor made over Tina in her own image. Maybe that’s more entirely predictable given reality TV’s tendency to cast only the most egocentric members of society, than it is funny, but whatever: notable all the same.
So I guess Taylor and Rocky are going to fight every episode? What was this but a clash of egos/fight for attention? And isn’t that always what it comes down to? Seriously, though: the foundation for this fight came from a question that Angel asked Rocky: “Why do you keep telling people I’m talking bad behind their backs when I’m not?” And then Rocky said, “I was gonna ask you the same question.” Oh girls, a wise woman (well, not really: Tyra Banks) once said it best: “Everybody talks about everybody.” Without backstabbing, the entire concept of reality TV confessionals would disintegrate. You need the backstabbing to have something to do, and we need it to watch you do something.
(Those are Rocky’s nicknames for her peers, as revealed in a confessional that, again, wouldn’t have been possible without backstabbing.)
But the best thing about the gif above is that after the fight had escalated to that point, and a now-wet Rocky fled the room, Taylor calmly turned to Angel and said, “So, anyway…” No matter what you say about her taste level, you have to give it up for Taylor’s sense of timing.
- Orange strikes back
I thought last week’s makeover had washed it away for good. But it just goes to show that you can’t keep a good nuclear glow down.
- The best of the week
It’s nice to see Sally excel, since she seems so quiet and shy that it’s conceivable that she could go the whole season without coming to fruition as a character. But she did it! Already! And without pouring anything on anyone! Way to go!
Also, it was very impressive that Tina took her lumps when Steve called her up as the woman who did the worst this week, mostly because of her business-casual chic.
“I deserved it, I get it, but damn it was nerve-wracking to be up there,” she said. Steve advised her to use Michelle Obama as a style guide. “Show a little edge,” he told her. If she dressed up as a giant circle, she’d be showing more edge. Really, the only place for her to go from here is up.
Taylor was also called up for showing a complete lack of interest in her dancing date (Valentino, who she also dissed last season)…
Steve told her that she won’t get to see her real man, Willy Northpole, until she gets with the program and invests herself in this process. In response, Taylor told him…
“You can’t break me down…I will never f***ing cry here!” Funny thing is, she already did earlier this episode, when she and Steve argued over the “sexy” pictures he chose for her:
Jeez, when this girl is wrong, she’s really wrong. It just goes to show that you should never say never, especially in when talking about something you did just a few segments earlier. Get it together, Taylor! Be as bright as your skin tone!
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