The Celebreality Interview – Extra

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Below, the latest For the Love of Ray J 2 cast-off talks splits, Bibles, being crushed by her elimination and the difference between Extra and Sharmisa.

I know you delineate between “Extra” and “Sharmisa,” but can you explain their differences?

Extra is kind of my alter ego. Extra is loud, crazy, outgoing, she says exactly what’s on her mind, she doesn’t care if she hurts anybody else’s feelings. She’s just extra everything. And that’s kind of the total opposite of me. If I had to go on the show being just Sharmisa, I’m quiet, I’m shy, I’m very caring, nurturing and understanding. I have a very religious side, of course. I’m just Sharmisa.

Yeah. It seemed like you weren’t Extra all of the time. It seems like there was a conflict between Extra and Sharmisa. Do you think that’s the case?

I was kind of struggling with some of the things the girls were saying about Extra, and I came to the realization that, “OK, I’m Extra, but nobody is going to realize that I’m Sharmisa.” I came to the realization that it’s the same person, physically. So I kind of chilled back after the Extra side, and just kind of tried to show Ray who Sharmisa is. Because if he did pick me, and he did end up falling in love with me or whatever the case may be, I wanted him to actually know what he’d be getting. [I’m] not some wild party girl. He’d be getting a homebody nurturing woman.

And somebody who’s a lot more introverted than Extra announced herself as being.

I think that’s because I did like Ray a lot, and I feel like I wanted to show Ray a softer side of me, not someone that’s always talking. I wanted to show him that I was able to listen to him. But our time together wasn’t really anything to listen to, so that put me in the position to have to create a conversation. There wasn’t any physical chemistry with this. I didn’t feel it, and I’m not sure if he felt it, but he probably didn’t. I just felt I had to create something, so that’s where all the cooking came in, the poetry, all the games. There was time that we spent together off camera. I mean, it was only a couple of minutes, but we did have meaningful conversations. Ray wasn’t interested.

When watching it, though, it really did seem like neither of you were connecting.

I understand how some people could see it that way, but the audience isn’t reading deeper into the poetry, how you’re actually displaying your feelings through poetry. How actually spending time making a four-course meal is showing somebody that you care. They’re saying, “Oh, she’s not saying anything to Ray!” I actually was, but the way I was represented by VH1 was that I was this really loud, over the top girl, but I was shy when it came to Ray.

Speaking of that kind of duality, early on, Heartbreaker took you to task for putting forth this sexually charged image, but also being very religious and openly reading the Bible.

I’m kind of upset they played that. I don’t think that anybody, or any person, or any network should exploit someone reading the Bible. However on the flip side, I know I’m going to contradict myself, but there’s actually no relation in doing the splits and reading the Bible. Because that means that you’re saying, “Oh, just because somebody does the splits, they can’t be a Christian.” I went into the house with the mentality, “Whatever Ray wants, I’m going to give it to him.” And when Lava was boring him, I was like, “Let me spice it up a little.” Was I over the top with the splits? Of course. After he named me “Extra,” yes, I’m going to take it the extra mile. I don’t think that it was fair for everybody to criticize me for reading the Bible and doing the splits. If anybody reads the Bible, they know that God can save everybody.

Are you saying that people who do the splits need to be saved?

I’m saying that anybody can be saved. If God can save a crack head who’s been doing crack for 30 years, he can save that person and change their life around, then he can change anybody. But my thing is, it was a show. Should I have handled it differently? Maybe. Would it be different if I had done the splits in jeans? Was it because I had on a dress and my pink and green underwear was showing? You see what I’m saying? It’s a lot of things that can be flipped or twisted from that. So I just ignore it.

Why go in the house displaying your alter ego in the first place?

I had to flip into an alter ego because I don’t have any interest in so many of the things that the other girls have interests in. My focus is English. As everybody saw, I’m a writer. That’s what I do and a lot of people feel that writers are nerds or boring, and I don’t think that’s the case because we have the biggest personality, or the biggest imagination, ever. If I had gone into the house as Sharmisa, I would have had about 20 books on me. I wouldn’t have been able to concentrate on Ray. I would have been interested in reading and writing.

Then why sign up for a reality show in the first place, where people would be expecting something different than typical writerly qualities?

It was another thing to test my abilities, to get outside of my box. And plus, it’s Ray J. As Ray J said on the show, I had a crush on him, and I’m not going to deny that. I’ve had a crush on Ray for several years. I saw the show as an opportunity to get to know him, and for him to get to know me. Did I want to win? Of course I wanted to win. You go on a reality show wanting to win. Did I expect to win? No. After all, I’m still Sharmisa, whether I’m Extra or not. I still have the same heart, and my heart is too pure, my heart is too innocent, my mentality is way different than Ray, or any of the other girls. I’m not interested in sex…I mean, I’m interested in having sex, I’m not interested in selling sex.

What about when you were crying in the interview saying that you cared about him the most? Were those real tears?

Those were real tears, because I did put everything I had into each one of those challenges, and I still didn’t get a date. I put everything I had into every meal I made Ray J, every poem I wrote him, physically handed to him. Was I hurt when he let me go? I was crushed. But at the end of the day, you breathe and you move on. Ray wasn’t into me, whatever. There’s 100,000 guys who want to be with me.

Another point of duality: Ray said that he saw you as a little girl, and yet you were talking about being wifey material, which is an adult thing to do.

Yeah. All of the qualities and characteristics that I possess are that of a wife, because I know that I was put here to be a wife. Not some bimbo, not some trick on a celebrity’s arm, not some homey smasher. No, I’m not any of that. The fact that you see me as a little girl means that you’re not mature enough. You’re not mature enough in your brain to accept a real woman. A real woman is not going to just throw herself at you sexually, and that be all she has to offer. You didn’t see any of the other girls in the house cooking for him, or writing for him. No, you saw them with their tongues down his throat, walking around the house naked, or touching his person.

Do you have any resentment for Ray?

I just hate the fact that he’s so close-minded that he couldn’t see all the things that I was doing was for him in his best interest. He just wants somebody who is very sexual and very physical. And if he had waited and gotten to know me, I’m not saying it wouldn’t have been anything like that, because that’s what a relationship entails. But I’m not going to give you some just because you’re Ray J.

You changed your hair a lot on the show.

Going into the show, I knew they weren’t going to buy me a perm. I’m black, and I have black people’s hair! I need a perm every four weeks. Going into the show, I knew they weren’t going to do that, and they didn’t. I took wigs just in case. And once I became Extra, me changing the hair up every couple of hours was just something fun. It was fun to see what the girls had to say, to see the expression on the Ray’s face. It was very entertaining to me, I would say.

Tell me about your book, The Lust for Love.

My book is a relationship book based on experiences that I’ve had in the past. It’s kind of like an advice book. I have different chapters like “What Men Want,” “What Women Want,” “Playing the Dating Game,” “What To Say and Not To Say,” things like that. It’s basically just giving my fans and my readers an insight into my mentality as far as relationships go, as far as sex goes, as far as my view of a real man and a real woman. And it also shares some intimate experiences that I’ve had. And when I say “intimate” I don’t mean “sexual.” I mean how I got to know love, how I got my heart broke and also some things that happened on the show. Yeah. I’m listing and loving.

Do you have any beef with any of the girls?

Me and Exotica, we had beef on the show. I decided to let that go when I left the house, because I had nothing against her as a person until she started beefing me on Twitter. I’m not following her, so I don’t know what she said, but my followers are saying that she said a couple things. Heartbreaker had some beef on Twitter a couple weeks ago. I just let it go because it’s nothing to linger on. If you don’t like me, you don’t like me. I don’t care if you don’t like me, that’s your problem. I have nothing against you, but you’re not going to lie on me and bash my name. That’s where I’ll get you.

Keep up with Extra via her website and follow her on Twitter.

Related content
For the Love of Ray J 2 show page
For the Love of Ray J 2 videos and extras
RAYJ.com
Ray J – Exclusive Video Interview

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  1. Lori says:

    I hope to god that you do not pick any of those trashy women you have this season.Your a celebrity and you can’t get anything better than a few strippers and bartenders. If that is the kind of women you want,that shows tour true colors Ray J. TRASH!! MZ Berry is the only one out of those girls who has a little bit of dignity and class!!

  2. Leslie says:

    Man Ray J is a horndog period. He has the most bored look on his face this entire season. It’s like he is not really in to it at all. Wish Extra the best with that book of hers!

  3. CS3 Fan says:

    Extra seems fake. She pretends like she doesn’t care what people think but it’s obvious she is still totally bitter about what happened.

  4. BonishkaRai says:

    i was not a real fan of her, but reading this interview, i realized that she is actually a genuine person who tried to know and love ray. and ray just turned his back on her b/c he has heartbreaker’s horse `_%_)*)~+@&&*_@ s on his perverted mind.

  5. Juelya says:

    Ray J is stupid. Didn’t he know that Exotica was the one that got caught on camera giving Slim Thug head. It was posted on the Blogs, he needs to get rid of her. For real. She is nasty like that.

  6. sexy says:

    hi ray i am from trinidad and tobago and i watch your show everytime it shows and i think you are a wonderful person and you deserve a good woman who would be whatever you want them to be i don’t know any of the girls like you do and you needs to know who is the best girl for you not by the way you feel around them cause the last season you choose someone and things did not work out the way you wanted to everyone has good days and bad days in a relationship and you are a star and every girl wants a star to be her man some want it for fame but others wants it because they are really there for you and not just because you are a star and i would not say who is the best for you because i don’t know the girls all i know is what i see on television and i wish you all the best with who ever you choose an when you choose make sure they are not there for fame but they are there for the real love of RAYJ make sure and choose wisely and have a MERRY CHRISTMAS AND A HAPPY NEW YEAR with who ever you pick

  7. MZZ.SINGLE says:

    EXTRIA GIRL I FELL YOU DO WAT YOU DO AND DNT DO WAT PEOPLE TELL YOU WAT TO DO AND I WOULD DO THE SAME THANG IF I LIKE A PERSON LIKE YOU DO LIKE I LIKE LILWAYNE SO BAD SO PUT YO MING IN-TO IT AND I AGREE YOU WILL GET HIM AND OPEN UP FOR HE CAN KNOW YOU BETTER DO THESE YO WILL GET YOU MAN GIRL

  8. juicyjess says:

    Ray J is a trashy little corn ball. Hes lucky girls are even interested in his shallow overly promiscuous !*!%*(_&_)#&$`$ Extra does seem a little more well rounded than the rest of the girls. But i must admit they portrayed her in a very immature fashion.

  9. KATRINA WINTERS says:

    I THINK THAT RAY J DON’T KNOW WHAT HE WANT AND WHY I SAY THAT IS HE HAD A GIRL ON HE SIDE THAT WAS A WOMEN TELL HIM TO PUT THE SHOE ON THE OTHER FEET IF HE WAS THEM WHAT WILL HE DO IT HARD TO BE WITH SOMEONE WITH A 100 GIRLS KISS AND FRIGHTING OVER HIM AND ALL THE GIRLS ARE HOT SO I WANT TO SEE WHAT HE WILL DO IF HE WAS IN THEIR SHOES

  10. kevinsneed says:

    Sometimes you win sometimes you lose.It’s a part of GOD’S plane everyone goes through.The bible declares in the book of Romans 8:28-And we know that all things work together for good to those who love God,to those who are the called according to his purpose.(NKJV).”EXTRA” you are very beautiful and GOD is GOOD.Only beleive and HE will grant you the desires of your heart.”

  11. Sweet Tish says:

    I think you are not the right one for Ray or he’s not the one for u cause if u like someone u will show no matter how u do it. Look here lady u are a grown )_(`@(+*#%^~#!` woman and u need to act like it, i didnt like how u were acting u made yourself look like u crazy becaue at first u all like all {Holy} and there’s nothing wrong with u having a relationship with god , and then you sitting up here acting like a 6 year old am not mad at u and dont want u to be made at u me so just step your game up

  12. Bridget Sattefield Malone says:

    Hi. I think you should left this show. I think some of these girls. Just want to be famous. I think Ray J is not really want a wife. I like Ray J. But these girls are just for showcase on this show. Ray J ,I hope just settle down and get a wife. Life is too short.

  13. Big Coop says:

    Man…Extra need to stop it..she came off as a little girl not a real woman..she didnt know how to handle a man and that was her downfall..its a shame that once he put the truth out about her girlish approach to love she wants to come back and insult the mans maturity..it was his maturity that made him look past her..duh!! She has a book on love? wow, who did she write that for, middle school kids across the world..

  14. sheena says:

    I feel that Ray J is a real genuine person. I believe that he is looking for the someone he can spend the future with; not just a one night stand. He just needs to look past the the persons who are not there for him and a long term relationship and focus on the ones who are real. Not to be rude but; Mz. Berry is a little to old. I think Lucious is a goog match for him.

  15. ~monikahsheree~ says:

    Omg, i am not an expert on dating but how could he elimanate extra she was the one who was working the hardest in my eyes, and the fact that she could not speak and her palms were sweaty when they spoke should have showed that she had REAL intrest, and that damn caliente cant even talk how is she more intresting than extra, Come on ray do u even like black girls. It dont seem like you would like to date them to me because chardonay was real also although i agree the drop at the club was a bit much maybe she should left that in the bedroom!!

  16. Hater.... says:

    Heartbreaker and Lucious remind me of mexican trash, the kind that probabley resides in East Los Angeles or better yet Puente Hills, CA. Heartbreaker is straight up low class, hood rat SKANK. Lucious is just a back seat queen and the only thing that’s important to her is to make sure the guys like her. Both tramps have an IQ below 100 and that would be with both their brains combined, lets see, Heartbreaker works at a strip bar, yes granted she probably makes alot of money at the end of the night, but anyone can work at a strip bar it not rocket science. As for Lucious what does she do? Nothing, just waiting to get knocked up with someone who has $$$. The rest of the girls conduct themselves with class and restraint.

  17. gernisha says:

    extra is a litte girl lol

  18. 2835419 says:

    What a lovely day for a 2835419! SCK was here

  19. Legal Music says:

    I know this is really boring and you are skipping to the next comment, but I just wanted to throw you a big thanks – you cleared up some things for me!

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