Tough Talk From Steve Ward – Season 2, Episode 6

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As he did last season, Master Matchmaker and VH1 Tough Love commander Steve Ward will weigh in with his thoughts on each episode of his show. Below, Steve talks about Episode 6: the court-room challenge, Angel’s fear of serious conversation, why he really thinks Sally’s guy just wasn’t into her and Alicia’s biological clock.

The episode opens with Jenna crying to your mom in the sauna over her peers’ comments at the end of last episode

My mom is there to be not just a mom, but an example as a woman. If my mom’s not upset about something, you shouldn’t be upset about it. That type of thing. My mom’s a good barometer for human emotion.

How did you think the courtroom challenge went?

That was 100 percent my idea. I was in Vegas for a bachelor party at a pool with my buddies. All these women are running around in their bikinis, and it dawned on me: put these women up in front of a jury of men and let them plead their case. Let them explain the situation they’re in. I really wanted these women to realize that it’s more about how you’re perceived for what you did than what you did in and of itself. The attitude you have about doing it matters more than anything. Kanisha, for example, seemed unremorseful, she seemed like she’d do it again, she tried to make excuses for it. The way I look at things is: an eye for an eye. If someone cheats on you, you don’t destroy his car. That doesn’t make sense. The punishment has to fit the crime.

I’m assuming that you didn’t have to do much digging for the “charges” brought against these girls…

They volunteered all that stuff! We didn’t invade their privacy! It was what they gave us.

Later on in the episode, you were pushing for Angel to talk to Adam about being a father figure, and she really didn’t want to. Why make her?

She was making a mountain out of a molehill. The whole purpose was just to find out if the guy would have any problem hanging out with her and her kid. Period. Would he be someone the kid could look up to? Friendly toward the kid? Nice toward the kid? That’s it. I didn’t want her to ask her to ask him to adopt the kid, or anything.

Adam had been extremely accepting up to this point. Why do you think Angel was so nervous?

She has a really hard time talking about anything serious. She can’t talk about anything personal. It’s very difficult for her to talk about her feelings and emotions and it’s painful for her to be open about real, true things going on in her life. She’s so afraid of being hurt, she can’t talk about things that matter.

It’s nice for her that her fears are constantly being disproven.

That’s the point! I’m not setting these women up for failure. I’m setting them up for success.

You told Jenna that she did the best this week.

She showed an effort to connect with someone, and I was proud of her for that. But her ambivalence about whether or not he’s a match continues being a pain in my ass. It’s very frustrating. Much like Taylor, Jenna’s very afraid of putting herself in the position where she could potentially get hurt emotionally. From that stems this anxiety of hers. This real fear. She usually dates people that are seemingly not all that desirable. She doesn’t date great catches. She desires guys that aren’t so desirable yet still show no interest in her. (Laughs) Wait till you see how this works out…

Sally experiences a setback this week: her guy turns out to be not that into her.

I got the impression he just wanted to be on TV. He just didn’t seem into her. He was just like, “Hey, cool, hangin’ out, whatever…”

Is that a typical hazard of doing this show?

I think so. I’m really making sure that we don’t have to deal with that going forward. I’m trying to avoid it now on VH1 Tough Love: Couples. If the only reason you’re coming on my show is to be on TV, don’t bother applying. I will sift you out. I’m making sure I’m working with people that have real stakes here.

Alicia lands in the hot seat…

She’s clearly not behaving the right way. She’s not doing the right things. I don’t think she truly wants to change. I don’t think she believes there’s anything wrong with her. I think she thinks she just hasn’t met the right guy. It sucks that I have to play the whole biological-clock card. She’s only 31. That’s something I’d play more with a Jodi type, but unfortunately Alicia is the one who set the clock. She’s the one who says all her friends are married and she should be settling down. I don’t think she’s too old to stay single for a while. It’s just that’s what she said, so I have to play to her.

Follow Steve on Twitter!

Related content
VH1 Tough Love 2 show page
VH1 Tough Love 2 videos and extras
Master Matchmakers

  1. Ricardo says:

    Why do they put up with that Taylor girl? She’s a total trainwreck. Seriously messed up in the head, no manners, no values, no clue. She is seriously bipolar, and cannot believe she is not seeking medical help. She needs Seroquel. She should stop doing reality TV, hanging out with trashy people, start taking SEROQUEL, and clean up her life. First thing she needs to do is realize she is only about 10% as smart as she thinks she is. Until then, she will be a revolving door bootie call for guys who will only see her as hoe.

  2. Cini says:

    I didn’t particularly find what Alicia said about not wanting to date a jewish guy offensive. I am an African American and trust me, I am very sensitive to bigotry of any sort, but unless I missed something it seemed like she just did not believe that religiously she would be compatible with a jewish guy. That is not anti-semitic that is just a personal preference. Most Jewish people, just like some devout Christian people have very strong religious beliefs and traditions and she likes the religion which she is and does not want conflicts. I respect her for knowing this upfront before getting into a serious realtionship with someone and having to face these problems in the future when feelings are already invested. For the record, Kim on the Real Housewives of Atlanta said she doesn’t date Black men and I wasn’t insulted at all. People have a right to have a preference without it being racist.

  3. Karen says:

    This really ticks me off they VH1 is so incompetent that they can’t play the next episode tonight…really these programs are filmed a while back. Then on top of that I have been trying to contact them and it is impossible…..totally incompentent for a television station in this time and day. If you want to play all of the episodes go ahead and do it during the middle of the day and then play the next episode in line…this is stupid..just because it is ummmmmmm…..2 days after Christmas…Thanks…oh the above that says “mail(will not be published)….that would be EMAIL…Good grief

  4. Laura Carroll says:

    I don’t usually blog about reality television but Tough Love is a farce. When Steve became so self righteous when Rocky told him that she believed the show was a roast about her, Steve vehemently replied “DON’T EVER QUESTION MY INTEGRITY”! Well Mr. Ward I question your integrity and that of your show. When you said to Rocky that those guys had never seen her before. That is a lie. Rocky is not just some random woman you chose. She was on a previous VH1 show hosted by Danny Bonaduce “Child Star” with her daughter.Rocky also appeared on VH1′s 40 greatest moments and none of these guys have ever seen her? Get real,
    Also the gentleman Andre’ that has been seeing Kaneisha is not a Manager at a pharmacy,as you said. He is an actor, I saw him on some TV commercial last week. So your show is a farce. You are a liar and your advice really is a bunch of lies. Last season not one of the girls ended up with anyone you paired them with. Now you have Taylor back for a second season and you say it is not a farce. You should be ashamed. You are not much of a match maker. I don’t see you with a ring on your finger. Your mother (if she is your mother) I could see. If you are going to keep it real, then tell the truth. You’re a liar and so is your show! I’ll still watch it though, but I know none of it is true.

  5. Trish says:

    Steve I just love this show.. if nothing eles it helps me move forward from two rocky relationships and being single to trying to not do the same things I did then or to pick a different type of man. Great tips! And where do you find the men in your show they are amazing and so sweet. :) You are very informative!

  6. Trish says:

    Steve I just love your show It is really informative and helpful for me going from two rocky relationships which ended nicely but still ended to being single and your tips are great. I really enjoy the ideas you come up with. And where do you find these wonderful sweet guys on your show there amazing? :) Thanks again

  7. Michel says:

    I question whether these ladies were given the opportunity to meet with a licensed psychologist, social worker, or counselor. I think this would have helped them during their “growing” process especially to speak with a qualified person. Sometimes we need to fix our own issues to better understand why we have them and what we could do to fix them. In Jenna’s case she needs to work on loving herself before she loves someone else because her issues will become a third wheel in every one of her relationships and it is hard enough for 2 people in a relationship without her issues getting in the way. I hope the next show provides a professional psychologist or social worker for the couples as they grow.

  8. lol says:

    I love how someone is crying about Steve being so fake, but ends with “I’m still going to watch the show”. Oh, that made my day. How ignorant. :)

  9. fred says:

    is it just me or does everyone see that steve is a gay i dont think he has ever had areal honest relationship with a woman in his life and all the advice of dont share dont be honest be fake act act act %)+@%*@^(&_)@@%^ is nothen but a real dealbreaker for most men looking for a permanent relationship but hey if there not looking for mr. rite but just mr.rite now hes rite on point wiyh his addvice mabey he shoul have a tough love for gays then he would be a better host and the crap dresses he has them wear give me a break them gowns in the mascarade ball was a freaken joke

  10. wendy liz says:

    hello, my name is wendy liz , i’m a single 28 yr old mother of 1 child ,i’m very independent , but i have been single for 5 years .i’ve only been in a 1 relationship and for the first time my friend introoduced me to your show and told me i should apply or cast for the show .im longing for a relationship but getting no where ….help please

  11. Sara says:

    Hahahaha wow so much about this blog is so hilarious. Lauren Carroll is ridiculous. It’s a TV show. No need to freak out. Kanisha was on the Tyra Banks show too. We all know most of the people on the show are just there to be on TV. This isn’t anything new. Chill out woman.

    And yes I think Steve may be gay as well. If you are Steve, more power to ya. I think it makes for a more unbiased opinion when it comes to matchmaking. And I don’t think the fact that Steve isn’t (as far as we know) in a relationship with anyone should be a reflection of his matchmaking skills. If he hasn’t found the right person (man or woman- just sayin) he just hasn’t found them. If he hasn’t found anyone he is compatible with, how is that his fault?

    Good luck Steve! You clearly need it!

  12. NYMOM says:

    Ok so I cant believe that some people get so uptight about these reality shows. And for someone to complain about it then say they will watch it anyways, well if you are gonna watch then stop complaining. No one says you have to watch. Ok so if watch the review video of the book Steve does say he is still single. How can someone with so much knowledge with relationships be single? Then again maybe it’s because he knows so much. Whatever it is I enjoyed watching the show and plan on buying the book. Who knows maybe I need to make changes lol Keep up the great show!

  13. 3164975 says:

    What a lovely day for a 3164975! SCK was here