A Basement Affair Recap – Episode 4 – Picture This

|

To those who’ve been wanting to see Jenny naked…

base_4_b10_47

…how’s it feel to want?

At the top of the show, we get the first sign that something is amiss with Jenny…

base_4_b10_1

…after speaking with her, Felicia reports that her competitor’s nice-girl act is just that: an act. We’re never given confirmation of this, though — not to get ahead of myself, but some of the nicest people I’ve ever met have been naked.

Frank writes the girls a note on loose leaf, tacks it up and then goes away.

base_4_b10_2

If he was going to do all that, why couldn’t he have just told them instead of expanding his carbon footprint ever so slightly by wasting paper? Green alert! Green alert! Anyway, the note reads in part, “Now it’s time to step up your game into my heart.” I believe by reading those words aloud, Felicia released some methane into the air. Green alert! Green alert!

Frank has uniforms to accompany this collective stepping up…

base_4_b10_3

…they are bobos and bikinis. That’s, like, standard issue in these parts. In fact, if VH1 ever sits down to write its memoir (as channels are wont to do), Bobos & Bikinis better be the title. Or else!

As if to reinforce how superficially out of place she is in this universe, Annie studies her bikini like she’s never seen one before and has no idea what to do with it.

base_4_b10_4

I really wish that her final determination was that this isn’t a bikini top, but a bottom with one triangle in front and one in the back.

base_4_b10_5
It doesn’t end up happening that way, but it would have been nice.

In the kitchen, Dana wonders if Renee is capable of bringing out the “roawr,” the sex kitten to Frank, “’cause I, like, can’t picture you being sexy, you’re so like…”

base_4_b10_7

…unsexy? Like, what? Where is Dana going with this and why is she discussing it with Renee so openly? I guess this way it avoids the inevitable, “Why can’t you comment on my sex appeal to mah face?!?” argument that would erupt were Dana to discuss Renee’s sexiness with others. “Like, I can’t picture you giving a boy a lap dance and stepping to him,” Dana continues. She adds that Renee looks like a fifth grader. Does she want to shatter one of Renee’s knees while she’s at it? It’s so weird, because Dana says all this in a completely congenial matter, and Renee doesn’t seem offended at all. If this kind of discussion happened on, say, Flavor of Love, it would have ended in mouth foam. These girls are a different breed.

The girls are shuttled to a baseball field, where Frank tells them, “I love two things the most: I love softball, and I love women in bikinis.” As you know, I love when the central figures of these shows set up challenges by saying, “As you know, I love…” and so I say to Frank: GET THE LINGO STRAIGHT. Come on! Also, he loves softball? Really?

Anyway! Today, the girls will play the:

base_4_b10_8

As the camera pans over the girls reactions to whatever nonsense Frank isn’t saying quite right, it’s interesting in light of what happens later in the episode that Jenny is entirely covered up.

base_4_b10_9

Her hoodie doth protest too much.

Anyway, helping out will be Frank’s doable brother Sal:

base_4_b10_10

If it doesn’t work out with Frank, girls, may I suggest Sal? I would not be shocked at all to find out that a show based around Sal is already in the works (Brother of Another Lover, perhaps?). I mean, it’s just like Andy Warhol prophesied: in the future, everyone will have 43 new minutes to do whatever with every week on VH1.

base_4_b10_11

The girls will be split into two teams and play two innings. The winning team will get a date with Frank, and the MVP will get one-on-one time. Complicating matters are what amount to Slip ‘n Slides between every base: the girls must use them for maximum titillation.

base_4_b10_12

Although, after seeing something similar on Rock of Love Bus, I have to wonder: what fun is sliding like this if you aren’t doing it while holding a hot dog?

The girls’ teams will be called:

base_4_b10_13

base_4_b10_15

Oooh! The Italian Whatever National Whatever Their Whatever Their Organization Is is gonna be so mad if they hear about this! Kerry is selected as the captain for Team Meatballs, while Cathy is the Team Spaghetti majordomo. Melissa, Christi, Melody and Jenny end up on Team Spaghetti, while Felicia, Renee, Dana and Annie are on Team Meatballs.

base_4_b10_17

base_4_b10_18

Annie ends up being called last, giving her the perfect opportunity for a redemption arc (if you consider excelling at sports “redemption”). Oh, and Dana is wearing garters and stockings:

base_4_b10_16

AKA Female stirrups.

And then the game happens. I’m so not giving you a play-by-play. Just understand that there is a lot of sliding…

base_4_b10_19

…although Felicia fears that doing so headfirst will pop one of her implants…

base_4_b10_22

Now that would be waaaaay too Rock of Love Bus.

In the end, despite striking out once and swinging the bat like it’s a butterfly net always, Annie is able to make contact and win the game for her team.

base_4_b10_25

She is named MVP. Renee interviews that she’s happy for Annie because “being picked last sucks.” I can’t imagine that Renee is speaking from experience or anything. The losers, Team Spaghetti get dinner with Frank’s parents. A consolation prize of torture is a fine consolation prize indeed!

Before anyone can eat, Frank finds a note from Jenny crammed into his door:

base_4_b10_27

If Jenny spent more time actually trying and less time talking about trying, she might be getting somewhere. Who’s she fooling? Don’t walk on my treadmill and tell me you’re Uncle Traveling Matt.

So, Team Spaghetti and the couple sadist sit down to eat:

base_4_b10_28

But their meal is soon interrupted by a visit from Frank’s Uncle Benny.

base_4_b10_29

He has the girls guess what he does. No one can. He’s a funeral director. “I was really gonna say the mafia,” says Melissa. Well, at least she didn’t guess “Mario Brother.” Benny thinks his job is enough to creep people out…

base_4_b10_30

I suppose he speaks from experience, although I really don’t see how anyone could have a problem with him, unless he smells like embalming fluid. Uncle Benny quizzes them on what they’re looking for. Jenny mentions never having had a boyfriend. Oh yeah. That. Susan then has Jenny help her with dessert…

base_4_b10_32

Alone in the kitchen, Susan asks if Jenny’s for real. She is, but she’s not going to put herself out there like the other girls. Yeah, we know. But she’ll talk your ear off about mustering up the will to step it up so that she can step up to Frank and they can take steps forward in their connection and/or on the way to step class. Susan understands. “I would be just like you,” she tells Jenny. Jenny talks about taking it slow, but feeling like she might need to speed it up some. Oh really? This is the first I’m hearing of that! Susan gives her an entirely fake laugh in response.

When dinner ends and it’s time for Uncle Benny to leave, he says, “It was nice meeting you, and I’ll put a good word in for some of yas!” Give the corpses my best!

Meanwhile, Frank takes Team Meatballs to the beach.

base_4_b10_35

Here, they eat spray cheese.

base_4_b10_33

He feeds it to the girls on crackers as though performing a sacrament.

base_4_b10_34

I can’t imagine more appropriate communion for the Church of VH1 than spray cheese. It’s kind of the essence of the network on a cracker. That is some powerful transubstantiation right there.

Frank and Annie steal away to share their one-on-one time.

base_4_b10_36

Frank asks her, “How do you think you and I would fit together perfectly?” Annie asks in response, “Are you talking about sexually?” Wehehehell! Someone has a vagina and isn’t afraid to use it! Frank says they can talk sexually, whatever, everything!

base_4_b10_37

Can they ever!

Also…

base_4_b10_38

…the only thing that could make this shot lovelier would be to airbrush it on a T-shirt.

Frank and Annie return to the group, and Renee says she needs to talk to him. So he spends some one-on-one time with her, invalidating the specialness of Annie’s MVP one-on-one time, but whatever!

base_4_b10_39

Their conversation is mostly awkward. Here’s sample:

Renee: What’s your fantasy?
Frank: I don’t know.
Renee: (Laughs)

Renee asks him if he’s ever heard of the Mile High Club. He hasn’t. She asks him about having sex on the beach and he says, “Public’s not really my thing…” I really hope that Renee isn’t all of a sudden probing Frank’s sexual interests because of what Dana said in the kitchen earlier this episode. It’s a trap, Renee! And it’s held together by garters! Frank gently tells Renee that she’s monopolizing his time, and needs to get to know the other girls better. Meanwhile, said other girls are on the beach mocking Renee’s nylons. So, that’s fun.

Frank arrives home to find Jenny waiting at the top of the stairs for him.

base_4_b10_40

She’s really stepped it up, har har!

base_4_b10_41

Frank says he feels like everyone else in the house has opened up to him, but her. “I’m a conservative woman. Just because I’m beautiful, doesn’t mean that I’m sexual,” she interviews. I didn’t realize Frank was referring to that kind of opening up, but OK. Jenny feels like she needs more time, and then she does a series of back handsprings taking care not to hit her head on the basement ceiling. Just kidding, she does nothing unpredictable or out of character: she promises that she’ll step it up if she’s kept around. At this point, that doesn’t go without saying?

Then, Renee needs mom time.

base_4_b10_42

She gets on the phone and she tells her mom about her efforts to get to know Frank, and his mild rebuffing. Her mom is very supportive. Renee breaks down and says that she’s making an ass of herself.

base_4_b10_43

You know, self-consciousness isn’t so easy to come by in these parts. Let’s give Renee a round of applause!

Meanwhile, Frank feels like Jenny’s hiding something. Funny that he gleaned that from her behavior. All I got was that she was stuck on repeat. He wonders why she’s looking for her first boyfriend on TV. Since only seasoned love vets are equipped to handle the deep, meaningful relationships that come as a result of reality TV, of course. And so, Frank does a little digging…

base_4_b10_44

He presents his findings at…

base_4_b10_45

…elimination.

But first, he hands out some keys. Annie gets the first. Frank introduces her by saying: “Well, this girl has a new nickname. From my time alone with her, and from her performance in the softball game, this is a real Cinderella story.” So Annie’s new nickname is Cinderella Story? Nobody’s going to say all those syllables. Anyway, after a few more, “This girl…” intros, Susan pipes up and tells her son to speed things up because she’s tired. You and me both, Susan! Thanks for that.

It ends up coming down to Renee and Jenny. In a never-done-before move (!), he tells Renee to step forward. He asks her why the other girls don’t like her. Uh, because you assigned her as your snitch, Frank? Renee doesn’t say that, though. She assumes that it’s because she’s spent more time with Frank, and they’re jealous. The girls behind her give her a spontaneous laugh track. It is not out of support, you’ll be shocked to hear. He worries that Renee isn’t strong enough for this competition — she says she is and that her tears aren’t a sign of weakness, but one that she has a soul. Again, and again, Renee proves herself to be a rare breed. Frank tells her to rejoin the group.

He then calls down Jenny and asks her if she’s attracted to him. She is. Why does he not feel it, then? Because she moves different than everyone else, which is to say: she movies nudely on the Internet (supposedly). Frank wonders if she’s so conservative then why did he find an extremely liberal helping of her flesh online?

base_4_b10_47

This is obviously blurred out to the point of pointlessness. We do know that it’s “incredibly sexy,” but that it’s far from the most shocking thing seen by such a connoisseur of Internet porn as Frank. We also know that Felicia finds it shocking…

base_4_b10_48

Still, Frank doesn’t get her giving him the cold shoulder when she’s showing the world how not conservative she is. I don’t know, I understand how this looks like a disconnect, but posing nude and hooking up are two different things. It’s not like she said she was so conservative but then was hooking up with Sal. Although, I couldn’t hold it against her if she were. Mmmm, Sal.

Anyway, Jenny’s leaving. Susan yells at her on her way out, saying that she fed Susan a line. She charges Jenny with portraying herself one way, while living another.

base_4_b10_49

Susan calls her phony. Jenny adjusts her boob while defending her class level.

base_4_b10_50

She tells Frank’s parents not to be disrespectful. That’s like telling Jenny not to say, “I’m going to step it up if…”

base_4_b10_51

In her exit interview, Jenny says that she can do better and that hopefully Frank will get his life together and move out of the basement before he’s 40. Girl, in the words of Judge Judy: you picked him!

Related content
Frank The Entertainer…In A Basement Affair – Cast Reveal
Frank The Entertainer…In A Basement Affair show page
Frank The Entertainer…In A Basement Affair videos and extras

  1. RealityTVAddict says:

    Jenny was trash. I’m on Team Annie! Go Annie Go!

  2. Amber R. says:

    I look forward to your recaps more than I do the actual show! That exchange between Frank and that quirky ass Renee was the most uncomfortable thing ever. I was hoping whilst Googling his contestants (maybe they should do that more often on these shows?) he’d find out Renee was a dominatrix or something, it would have made that conversation a bit more warrented.

  3. DeiaynciaCimone says:

    If Jenny was trash then Frank should date garbage. Jenny had way too much class for Frank. I am saying it looked like he exposed her becuase she wasn’t giving it up to him. With all those girls kissing him who would want to be slobbering on him. They tried to talk crap to her as she left and she schooled them. She asked them not to disrespect her family. Jenny look at what you almost messed yourself into. I won’t be watching anymore because the more I watch the more Susan looks like a broke down Miss Piggy. She better chillax cause one of those girls may creep upstairs and cut her throat as she sleeps. Annie and Frank deserve each other. Google the rest of the dogs competing and see what fleas you get Frank.

  4. DeiaynciaCimone says:

    Jenny was in no way trash. I saw the pic and all she did was show her creamy breasts still covered. She had on a bra people. Sexy as she is she don’t need trashy Frank. I won’t be watching anymore either. Why bother all that is left is boob implanted dogs that need nose jobs real bad. Felicia is pretty but she debased herself just like Jenny by being in the competition. Lets just have him pick Annie and call it a day. Girls when you win this competition look good at what you end up with. If Frank got a show how come It from “I Love Money” didn’t? Same brain weight he n Frank share. Shrugs.

  5. mnchick says:

    I would not call Jenny “trash” per se. But I would call her deceptive at the very least. She really portrayed this image of “the good girl” and then he finds that picture? I don’t blame him for feeling angry about it. If she didn’t tell him about the picture and she portrayed herself as something she isn’t then how can he trust her?

    I really am gunning for Annie to win this. I really like her a lot! I like that she first went on the show to see and study how women in reality TV are portrayed but then ended up really liking Frank. I like that she has a brain in her head and a sense of humor…that in and of itself makes her attractive and I think that Frank sees that.

    Still love Susan! LOL Think she is a hoot and genuine as a person can get. Like Frank’s dad as well he is just more quiet but did he give Jenny the whatfor! He is laid back but when it counts he lets you know what is on his mind!

    I think that Frank really seems genuine too..I really like him on this show!

    I still do not remember Melody for the life of me…guessing she has always been there though. I just don’t remember seeing her at first or ever for that matter..until last week that is.

  6. Miss Blessd says:

    You know I find it funny that there is some other bland girl there that we never even see with him or anything. I can’t even remember anything about her except she has dark hair. I don’t see him calling her into question about why she hadn’t been all over him. He seemed to be extra suspicious about both of the black girls and was on them like crazy with questions etc.

    They made it seem like she had a nude pic I mean she wasn’t any worse than how the other girls dressed in the house on a regular basis!

    Now, in saying that I don’t think they were a good match because he does like affection and she was constantly saying she doesn’t have to kiss a guy every five minutes and all that so maybe she’s used to guys being all over her instead but I think there were definitely some people he could have eliminated before her!

  7. michael Cervntes says:

    Frank got rid of Jenny; The picture was no more than wearing a Bikini, Franks parents went off with no regard ;typical Italian display of no class. Why hurt the girl’s emotions. Frank alowed what a MOMAS BOY!

  8. unknown says:

    Sugar Cube look who is talking there is no need to insult Amber Amber hasn’t done anything to you just because she hates Renee doesn’t mean you can talk crap to her and you wish there were more people on this show and others hell no you must be out of your mind.

  9. Sugar Cube says:

    Amber & Unknown – What’s the matter you can’t take what you dish out? Boo-Hoo. Your taste is in your $$$SSS! I definitely do not want Annie, Felicia, Dana, or Cathy to win. Just thought I’d share that with you because you must have a ridiculous response.

  10. lilsweet811 says:

    i don;t care if her breasts were covered or not. if you are as “conservative” and “innocent” as she tried to portray herself she would of not had that kind of pic on the internet. She was just snowing everyone so she could get TV exposure and she had to continue the farse in the exit interview so she, and I say this loosely, “made herself look good”. HAHA What a FAKE !!

  11. Jamine says:

    I will not miss Jenny. She was full of herself. I actually thought it was nice to see Renee cry to her mom, it shows she’s human. The other girls with the exception of Annie all seem so cold hearted. Those two girls run the show anyways. Dana’s mean and should not talk about being sexy. Her hair makes her look like a lion. Rawwwr. I think Frank’s mom should have her own show personally. She’s the coolest and I’d love to have her as my mother in law!

  12. SilkBeauty says:

    Jenny had on more material than anyone wearing a mere bikini. There is nothing wrong with her pic. She was too good for him and his loud family anyway. Frank should get off his lazy azz and go to work and get his own. Let’s talk deceitful though. For one, that is not their home. That’s a rental house VH1 put them up in. They stuck a few family photos on the wall to make it look real. His mother keeps running around saying “Not in my house you won’t! Not in my house”! VH1 showed their actual house on one of the I Love Money episodes and Franks’s basement room is three times smaller than the rental basement. Everyone knows he’s there for TV, money, and his quick minute of fame and not to find love. The “Entertainer” is a straight up loser and I blame his mother and father for raising such no account excuse for a man.

  13. Shana says:

    Yeah ok, Jenny wasn’t who he “thought” she was. But the way he went about it was immature. Especially his parents.
    Jenny obviously didn’t want to argue yet they kept yapping and yapping and yapping, like they’re perfect themselves? They didnt have to disrespect her like that.
    And the pic?! OMG wow. Its definitely a pg-13 photo. That pic was no different than the outfits he had the girls wear at his game.

  14. unknown says:

    LOL Sugar Cube my taste is in my ass? And I have a ridiculous response? I don’t care about those four girls you didn’t need to mention them I didn’t say anything about them how quickly you assume that I wanted those four to win just for hating Renee I can take what I dish out but your a s s was going overboard you like crazy Renee I don’t that’s ok but insulting a person for that is dumb it’s their opinion.

  15. Amy says:

    I think Jenny lied about not having a b/f how can a girl that pretty not have a man in her life? sorry but she was definately hiding something she was acting soo weird and cold Annie all the way

  16. Virginia says:

    You see, doesn’t always pay to lie about anythng, sooner or later things will be found out about you, with access to the internet there’s alll kinds of places to look for information. There’s no such thing as privacy, anymore.