Tough Talk From Steve Ward – Season 2, Episode 10

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steve_s2e10

As he did last season, Master Matchmaker and VH1 Tough Love commander Steve Ward will weigh in with his thoughts on each episode of his show. Below, Steve talks about Episode 10: Jenna revisiting a kinda/sorta old flame, Tina’s reaction to Quincy’s thoughts on marriage and Liz’s reaction to Dave’s married past.

It came out that Jenna has an attachment to another guy from her past. Does that concern you at all?

Concern me? No, it’s obvious! Clearly this girl needs to get closure on all of these past relationships of hers at very least, before she can move forward and connect with anybody else. I felt like I could have introduced her to somebody else, but what would that have solved? The last guy was perfectly good for her, but that doesn’t make a difference to Jenna. Jenna needs to get some things off her chest, and just getting validated by somebody that she actually liked was enough to make a major change in her disposition.

When Liz was about to go on her date, you told her that she needed to let Dave take charge. She’s so worried about him being passive, yet she’s having a problem letting him take charge. It doesn’t really add up.

That’s the whole point: she’s trying to provoke them. That’s why Liz is the way she is with everybody. She tries to provoke them and bait them into reacting into some way that’s acceptable to her. She can’t always do that. Sometimes you need to figure out what kind of communication style they respond best to, and try to communicate that way. That’s how you communicate effectively. If you don’t concentrate on trying to do that, and to make sure that you’re communicating in an effective way for that particular person, then you really have your blinders on, and it’s going to be very difficult for you to make any headway.

Tina was bothered by Quincy’s views on marriage, but it seems like he shies away from marriage more as a matter of semantics or something – he doesn’t like the institution, but he likes everything else associated with it, such as the commitment.

That’s the thing. I think marriage is a wonderful institution for raising a family. I mean, Tina doesn’t even know if she wants kids or not. She just wants to know that somebody’s going to be there for her through thick and thin. And if a piece of paper is going to give her that impression, then she needs to talk to the 55 percent of the population that’s divorced out there that never thought they’d end up divorced. The piece of paper is not going to do anything but make it more difficult for him to leave. If you need that in order to make you feel more secure about a person, then you shouldn’t be marrying them in the first place. And all I wanted her to do was communicate with Quincy, tell him how she felt, express herself, and then decide. If to her it’s a deal-breaker, and a guy has to want to get married in order to want to start a relationship with them, then that’s fine. That’s her choice. I’m not going to judge her or tell her how it doesn’t make sense or force my opinion on her. I want her to do what’s best for her. But I have to at least force her to do the work that needs to be done before drawing her conclusions. That’s what I wanted her to do, and I think she did it.

I found it very interesting that she can relate to his ideas about not wanting to get hurt, and his guarded behavior. Is that why you matched them?

That’s exactly why. I figured she can actually relate, and it was that relatability that helped her grow. I have no problem with people dating when there’s a clear end in sight. You don’t have to only date somebody that you see a future with. There’s such a thing as “the right guy” and “the right now guy,” and there’s nothing wrong with you having the “right now guy”, or “right now girl”, for that matter. But don’t kid yourself into thinking that it’s going to go into a different direction, unless that person is interested in making it go in that other direction with you. Don’t feel like you’re going to get through to them, or you’re going to convince them. They’ve got to come to that realization on their own. And a lot of it is done with pulling away from the person. Making them realize, “Alright, look, I am actually serious about this. I know you think I’m bulls***ting you, but in truth if you can’t do the marriage thing, I can’t keep seeing you.” So you keep it real, and a lot of times they think, “Really? Am I a loser that I’m not even willing to think about it, or…?” Sometimes a lot of people lie and say what they think you want to hear, but people who have real character and class will do the right thing and either let you go or try to make it work.

I know you said that you felt Taylor wasn’t taking this time away seriously, but what did you think of her getting Tough Love tattooed on herself?

I knew she was getting it. So many other girls on that show that got Tough Love tattoos. They just never showed it. Sally did on her ribcage, Liz and Angel got it on their wrist. Alicia got one! They all got them together, except for Taylor, obviously.

You praised Rocky for taking things slow with Jason.

She says she hasn’t had sex in three years, but she seems pretty sexual to me, you know? I just want the girl to do the right thing. I just want to make sure she’s doing her work, the same as everybody else: doing what needs to be done before you just take your clothes off and get into bed with somebody. You gotta build that relationship with trust and communication. You gotta get everything out of the way. People are so eager to fall in love sometimes that they take anything they see at the surface.

What did you think of Adam blowing off Angel when she said she was falling for him?

I think he needed to just think about it. That’s all. He just needed to think about it. It was a lot for him to consider.

Finally, Liz was really disturbed when Dave told her about being married before. Do you think she was overreacting?

Yeah, I do. I was happy with how Dave was handling it, though. It really wasn’t need-to-know information until 1) he was asked, or 2) it came up in conversation. So I appreciate the fact that he wanted to tell her. I think he told her at the right time, considering it didn’t come up in conversation, and he wasn’t asked. I think she was more upset by the fact that it sneaked by her. I think that’s what she’s more ticked about: the fact that she didn’t even think to ask. And now every other guy she dates, she’ll ask, “Have you been married before?” That’s Liz’s lesson.

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Related content
VH1 Tough Love 2 show page
VH1 Tough Love 2 videos and extras
Master Matchmakers
Check out Steve and JoAnn Ward’s Book, Crash Course in Love

  1. caramelsunlight says:

    Where can I find out on how the relationships are doing now?

  2. singlegal says:

    I love this show, but I’m kinda surprised by Steve’s comment about marriage re: Tina It wasn’t exactly unbiased. Fact is, a recent study has shown the divorce rate having gone DOWN in the US.

    Many people value marriage. While it might not be right for anyone, the point is that somsone doesn’t match your values then move on.

    Re: Liz & Dave, if you’re getting serious it’s VERY important for someone to mention whether they were once married, so I’m surprised by Steve’s comment that Liz overreacted. While it shouldn’t make a difference in their relationship, it’s what we call in business withholding material information (which is illegal).

  3. dianna madden says:

    i live in london,kentucky. i am 34 years old. i got married in 1995. i got divorced in 1997. i dont have any

  4. dianna madden says:

    i live in london,kentucky. i am 34 years old. i got married in 1995. i got divorced in 1997. i dont have any children of my own. i have 2 step daughters from my marriage. the ages of my step daughters are 16

  5. dianna madden says:

    i live in london,kentucky. i am 34 years old. i got married in 1995. i got divorced in 1997. i dont have any children of my own. i have 2 step daughters from my marriage. the ages of my step daughters are 16 and 17 years old. i have 3 small children that i help raise because they do not have a father in their life

  6. dianna madden says:

    i live in london,kentucky. i am 34 years old. i got married in 1995. i got divorced in 1997. i dont have any children of my own. i have 2 step daughters from my marriage. the ages of my step daughters are 16 and 17 years old. i have 3 small children that i help raise because they do not have a father in their life. the ages of these 3 children are 4,6,and 7. i live by myself in an apartment. i pay all of my bills with no help

  7. dianna madden says:

    i live in london,kentucky. i am 34 years old. i got married in 1995. i got divorced in 1997. i dont have any children of my own. i have 2 step daughters from my marriage. the ages of my step daughters are 16 and 17 years old. i have 3 small children that i help raise because they do not have a father in their life. the ages of these 3 children are 4,6,and 7. i live by myself in an apartment. i pay all of my bills with no help. my parents are still living. i have 1 sister. i have several foster brothers and sisters. i have been raised

  8. dianna madden says:

    i live in london,kentucky. i am 34 years old. i got married in 1995. i got divorced in 1997. i dont have any children of my own. i have 2 step daughters from my marriage. the ages of my step daughters are 16 and 17 years old. i have 3 small children that i help raise because they do not have a father in their life. the ages of these 3 children are 4,6,and 7. i live by myself in an apartment. i pay all of my bills with no help. my parents are still living. i have 1 sister. i have several foster brothers and sisters. i have been raised in church all my life. i do not drink or do drugs. although i do smoke cigarettes. i smoke less

  9. dianna madden says:

    i live in london,kentucky. i am 34 years old. i got married in 1995. i got divorced in 1997. i dont have any children of my own. i have 2 step daughters from my marriage. the ages of my step daughters are 16 and 17 years old. i have 3 small children that i help raise because they do not have a father in their life. the ages of these 3 children are 4,6,and 7. i live by myself in an apartment. i pay all of my bills with no help. my parents are still living. i have 1 sister. i have several foster brothers and sisters. i have been raised in church all my life. i do not drink or do drugs. although i do smoke cigarettes. i smoke less than half pack a day. i have several health problems. i am on several medications. i used to work. i have

  10. dianna madden says:

    i live in london,kentucky. i am 34 years old. i got married in 1995. i got divorced in 1997. i dont have any children of my own. i have 2 step daughters from my marriage. the ages of my step daughters are 16 and 17 years old. i have 3 small children that i help raise because they do not have a father in their life. the ages of these 3 children are 4,6,and 7. i live by myself in an apartment. i pay all of my bills with no help. my parents are still living. i have 1 sister. i have several foster brothers and sisters. i have been raised in church all my life. i do not drink or do drugs. although i do smoke cigarettes. i smoke less than half pack a day. i have several health problems. i am on several medications. i used to work. i have been disabled for about 5 years. i am under a psychiatrist care and counseling. i have mental and emotional

  11. dianna madden says:

    i live in london,kentucky. i am 34 years old. i got married in 1995. i got divorced in 1997. i dont have any children of my own. i have 2 step daughters from my marriage. the ages of my step daughters are 16 and 17 years old. i have 3 small children that i help raise because they do not have a father in their life. the ages of these 3 children are 4,6,and 7. i live by myself in an apartment. i pay all of my bills with no help. my parents are still living. i have 1 sister. i have several foster brothers and sisters. i have been raised in church all my life. i do not drink or do drugs. although i do smoke cigarettes. i smoke less than half pack a day. i have several health problems. i am on several medications. i used to work. i have been disabled for about 5 years. i am under a psychiatrist care and counseling. i have mental and emotional problems. its always been hard for me to be in a relationship,because of depression. there is relationships

  12. dianna madden says:

    i live in london,kentucky. i am 34 years old. i got married in 1995. i got divorced in 1997. i dont have any children of my own. i have 2 step daughters from my marriage. the ages of my step daughters are 16 and 17 years old. i have 3 small children that i help raise because they do not have a father in their life. the ages of these 3 children are 4,6,and 7. i live by myself in an apartment. i pay all of my bills with no help. my parents are still living. i have 1 sister. i have several foster brothers and sisters. i have been raised in church all my life. i do not drink or do drugs. although i do smoke cigarettes. i smoke less than half pack a day. i have several health problems. i am on several medications. i used to work. i have been disabled for about 5 years. i am under a psychiatrist care and counseling. i have mental and emotional problems. its always been hard for me to be in a relationship,because of depression. there is relationships where i have been happy. ive been hurt so many times,im scared. i have a wall around my heart

  13. dianna madden says:

    i live in london,kentucky. i am 34 years old. i got married in 1995. i got divorced in 1997. i dont have any children of my own. i have 2 step daughters from my marriage. the ages of my step daughters are 16 and 17 years old. i have 3 small children that i help raise because they do not have a father in their life. the ages of these 3 children are 4,6,and 7. i live by myself in an apartment. i pay all of my bills with no help. my parents are still living. i have 1 sister. i have several foster brothers and sisters. i have been raised in church all my life. i do not drink or do drugs. although i do smoke cigarettes. i smoke less than half pack a day. i have several health problems. i am on several medications. i used to work. i have been disabled for about 5 years. i am under a psychiatrist care and counseling. i have mental and emotional problems. its always been hard for me to be in a relationship,because of depression. there is relationships where i have been happy. ive been hurt so many times,im scared. i have a wall around my heart. i think its best to be with nobody than to be with somebody. im not scared of being

  14. dianna madden says:

    i live in london,kentucky. i am 34 years old. i got married in 1995. i got divorced in 1997. i dont have any children of my own. i have 2 step daughters from my marriage. the ages of my step daughters are 16 and 17 years old. i have 3 small children that i help raise because they do not have a father in their life. the ages of these 3 children are 4,6,and 7. i live by myself in an apartment. i pay all of my bills with no help. my parents are still living. i have 1 sister. i have several foster brothers and sisters. i have been raised in church all my life. i do not drink or do drugs. although i do smoke cigarettes. i smoke less than half pack a day. i have several health problems. i am on several medications. i used to work. i have been disabled for about 5 years. i am under a psychiatrist care and counseling. i have mental and emotional problems. its always been hard for me to be in a relationship,because of depression. there is relationships where i have been happy. ive been hurt so many times,im scared. i have a wall around my heart. i think its best to be with nobody than to be with somebody. im not scared of being alone. i used to be free spirited. didnt care on taking a chance of getting hurt. several years later, i will only open up to certain people. when it comes to having a relationship with a guy,i wont open up at all. i have a heart and a soul. i cant deal with another heart ache or heartbreak. so i cant tear that brick wall down. steve. you really have some good points. your show desribes me exactly. i think you and your mom are awesome. i look up to the both of you. best wishes! good luck in the years ahead. GODbless you both.

  15. dianna madden says:

    i live in london,kentucky. i am 34 years old. i got married in 1995. i got divorced in 1997. i dont have any children of my own. i hav e 2 step daughters from my marriage. the ages of my step daughters are 16 and 17 years old. i have 3 small children that i help raise because they do not have a father in their life. the ages of these 3 children are 4,6,and 7. i live by myself in an apartment. i pay all of my bills with no help. my parents are still living. i have 1 sister. i have several foster brothers and sisters. i have been raised in church all my life. i do not drink or do drugs. although i do smoke cigarettes. i smoke less than half pack a day. i have several health problems. i am on several medications. i used to work. i have been disabled for about 5 years. i am under a psychiatrist care and counseling. i have mental and emotional problems. its always been hard for me to be in a relationship,because of depression. there is relationships where i have been happy. ive been hurt so many times,im scared. i have a wall around my heart. i think its best to be with nobody than to be with somebody. im not scared of being alone. i used to be free spirited. didnt care on taking a chance of getting hurt. several years later, i will only open up to certain people. when it comes to having a relationship with a guy,i wont open up at all. i have a heart and a soul. i cant deal with another heart ache or heartbreak. so i cant tear that brick wall down. steve. you really have some good points. your show desribes me exactly. i think you and your mom are awesome. i look up to the both of you. best wishes! good luck in the years ahead. GODbless you both.

  16. Barb says:

    Steve,
    Have you ever considered doing a tough love for women aged 35-45? There are some of us out there that I think would benefit from your boot camp!!!
    Please consider it!
    Barb

  17. amanda says:

    hi steve are you getting new women after the other girls went bye bgye with there lovers xoxoxoxo Amanda

  18. Becky says:

    Though it seems sad that many of the girls did not leave with their “true love” after bootcamp; I personally feel each of them left with a deeper love of themselves. Truly knowing and loving oneself is so important before a person can accept love into their life for real. I think Steve and JoAnn help women blossom into the “dateable” women they should be, but for various reasons are not. Helping a woman gain confidence within herself is the greatest gift. I wish there was a show for single moms who do not have to leave their children behind while they seek the help to become stronger individuals. It could be a combination between Nanny 911 and Tough Love ;) I give much praise to Steve and JoAnn for being such a positive experience in these womens’ lives. Health and Happiness to you all! B

  19. nicole23 says:

    hey steve liz was my fav when will i be able to fine out how there there doing and every one else

  20. Lacey says:

    Who was the live singer on one of the dates on this episode (I think it was this episode) – female…and she had the most beautiful voice!

  21. Tough Love follower says:

    Hey Steve~

    Again…how do we find out how the couples are doing now. At the end of the 1st season, there was a recap of all the couples at the end of the final episode. Not this time, how come. We want to know how they are all doing?

  22. J says:

    Why don’t you help men get over their insecurities? Maybe women are easier to get better ratings because they cry so much more easily, but we need to see the types of men who have problems with relationships and how to help them too!

  23. sandra garcia says:

    love this show it has maid me think about my relationships and how i could change some of my ways and cant wait for next season

  24. beverleyanne jones says:

    I think that even though Steve advice is on point the men he chose for the show was not, I am not surprised that none of the matches work out because its television and most of the men to me looked like they are in it on for the show. Do not think for a moment that none of the girls are on it for TV though because one of the contestants were on ‘Rock of Love’ and when you see that they are in it for their on fame. This is just a show and nothing except maybe Steve’s advice.

  25. beverleyanne jones says:

    I think that even though Steve advice is on point, the men he chose for the show was not, I am not surprised that none of the matches worked out because its television and most of the men looked like they are in it for the show. Do not think for a moment that none of the girls are on it for TV though because one of the contestants were on ‘Rock of Love’ and when you see girls appearing on different shows its because they are looking for reality star fame. The show begins to loose credibility. This is just a show and nothing except maybe Steve’s advice real.

  26. Jenny says:

    I like to know where or if I can purchase all the episodes of Though Love 1 and 2 CD’s. Please let me know
    I thought these episodes were great I like to have in my collection. Please let me know if you will have any other or new episodes of the TL and give me the time scheduale.

  27. momma t says:

    this guy makes wonder if he has a girlfriend or a wife because he is always talking about what he knows about a women why dont you hear anything about him having a woman um i dont know but i think that he is full of bulls***

  28. John C says:

    I think it would be nice to meet Steve. I’m not sure if he’s gay. He seems like a really cool guy. Very handsome.

  29. Carole says:

    Hi Steve and Joann- I started watching your show tough love when Taylor was on it the first time. I absolutely love the way you and your handle the women- caring, but tough. I also loved the Tough Love Couples for the same reasons.
    I do have a question though- have you considered doing a Tough Love show with more mature women(i.e.- ages 45 and up?) I would like to hear your thoughts on this subject.

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