As he did last season, Master Matchmaker and VH1 Tough Love commander Steve Ward will weigh in with his thoughts on each episode of his show. Below, Steve talks about Episode 10: Jenna revisiting a kinda/sorta old flame, Tina’s reaction to Quincy’s thoughts on marriage and Liz’s reaction to Dave’s married past.
It came out that Jenna has an attachment to another guy from her past. Does that concern you at all?
Concern me? No, it’s obvious! Clearly this girl needs to get closure on all of these past relationships of hers at very least, before she can move forward and connect with anybody else. I felt like I could have introduced her to somebody else, but what would that have solved? The last guy was perfectly good for her, but that doesn’t make a difference to Jenna. Jenna needs to get some things off her chest, and just getting validated by somebody that she actually liked was enough to make a major change in her disposition.
When Liz was about to go on her date, you told her that she needed to let Dave take charge. She’s so worried about him being passive, yet she’s having a problem letting him take charge. It doesn’t really add up.
That’s the whole point: she’s trying to provoke them. That’s why Liz is the way she is with everybody. She tries to provoke them and bait them into reacting into some way that’s acceptable to her. She can’t always do that. Sometimes you need to figure out what kind of communication style they respond best to, and try to communicate that way. That’s how you communicate effectively. If you don’t concentrate on trying to do that, and to make sure that you’re communicating in an effective way for that particular person, then you really have your blinders on, and it’s going to be very difficult for you to make any headway.
Tina was bothered by Quincy’s views on marriage, but it seems like he shies away from marriage more as a matter of semantics or something – he doesn’t like the institution, but he likes everything else associated with it, such as the commitment.
That’s the thing. I think marriage is a wonderful institution for raising a family. I mean, Tina doesn’t even know if she wants kids or not. She just wants to know that somebody’s going to be there for her through thick and thin. And if a piece of paper is going to give her that impression, then she needs to talk to the 55 percent of the population that’s divorced out there that never thought they’d end up divorced. The piece of paper is not going to do anything but make it more difficult for him to leave. If you need that in order to make you feel more secure about a person, then you shouldn’t be marrying them in the first place. And all I wanted her to do was communicate with Quincy, tell him how she felt, express herself, and then decide. If to her it’s a deal-breaker, and a guy has to want to get married in order to want to start a relationship with them, then that’s fine. That’s her choice. I’m not going to judge her or tell her how it doesn’t make sense or force my opinion on her. I want her to do what’s best for her. But I have to at least force her to do the work that needs to be done before drawing her conclusions. That’s what I wanted her to do, and I think she did it.
I found it very interesting that she can relate to his ideas about not wanting to get hurt, and his guarded behavior. Is that why you matched them?
That’s exactly why. I figured she can actually relate, and it was that relatability that helped her grow. I have no problem with people dating when there’s a clear end in sight. You don’t have to only date somebody that you see a future with. There’s such a thing as “the right guy” and “the right now guy,” and there’s nothing wrong with you having the “right now guy”, or “right now girl”, for that matter. But don’t kid yourself into thinking that it’s going to go into a different direction, unless that person is interested in making it go in that other direction with you. Don’t feel like you’re going to get through to them, or you’re going to convince them. They’ve got to come to that realization on their own. And a lot of it is done with pulling away from the person. Making them realize, “Alright, look, I am actually serious about this. I know you think I’m bulls***ting you, but in truth if you can’t do the marriage thing, I can’t keep seeing you.” So you keep it real, and a lot of times they think, “Really? Am I a loser that I’m not even willing to think about it, or…?” Sometimes a lot of people lie and say what they think you want to hear, but people who have real character and class will do the right thing and either let you go or try to make it work.
I know you said that you felt Taylor wasn’t taking this time away seriously, but what did you think of her getting Tough Love tattooed on herself?
I knew she was getting it. So many other girls on that show that got Tough Love tattoos. They just never showed it. Sally did on her ribcage, Liz and Angel got it on their wrist. Alicia got one! They all got them together, except for Taylor, obviously.
You praised Rocky for taking things slow with Jason.
She says she hasn’t had sex in three years, but she seems pretty sexual to me, you know? I just want the girl to do the right thing. I just want to make sure she’s doing her work, the same as everybody else: doing what needs to be done before you just take your clothes off and get into bed with somebody. You gotta build that relationship with trust and communication. You gotta get everything out of the way. People are so eager to fall in love sometimes that they take anything they see at the surface.
What did you think of Adam blowing off Angel when she said she was falling for him?
I think he needed to just think about it. That’s all. He just needed to think about it. It was a lot for him to consider.
Finally, Liz was really disturbed when Dave told her about being married before. Do you think she was overreacting?
Yeah, I do. I was happy with how Dave was handling it, though. It really wasn’t need-to-know information until 1) he was asked, or 2) it came up in conversation. So I appreciate the fact that he wanted to tell her. I think he told her at the right time, considering it didn’t come up in conversation, and he wasn’t asked. I think she was more upset by the fact that it sneaked by her. I think that’s what she’s more ticked about: the fact that she didn’t even think to ask. And now every other guy she dates, she’ll ask, “Have you been married before?” That’s Liz’s lesson.
Steve has two events in Atlantic City coming up — click the image below for more details.