And so, it turns out not just that Mz Berry was there for the love of Ray J, but that Ray J was there for the love of Mz Berry. Below Ray’s second-season pick talks about winning Ray’s heart, what communication has been like since taping the show, the stress and ridicule she had to endure throughout her stay in the mansion and why she thinks so many women relate to her.
How has communication with Ray been since the show wrapped?
Really, Ray and I aren’t allowed to speak to each other. We aren’t allowed to meet or anything like that.
Do you have a good feeling about where things are going?
We just have to see. You can’t really base on everything that happened with us three, four months ago. I wouldn’t say feelings change, but you just have to see. In any type of relationship, you just take it one step at a time. We’ll definitely both talk about what we want, and we’ll see where it goes from there.
Are you excited to see him at the reunion?
Yes, very excited. I’m a little nervous, but very excited.
What about the other girls?
I feel fine about seeing them.
When Ray picked you, was there any sense of accomplishment, especially considering the way you were treated by the other girls?
No. They never really harassed me to my face. A lot of what was said on the show was said when I wasn’t present. Nobody really came at me crazy, except for the one incident when we were all outside. Other than that, there was no other time when anybody except for Danger said anything to me. Nobody.
Has it been hard, then, to watch the show and see what people are saying about you?
Not really. It’s not even hurtful. I think maybe my friends and family are more hurt when the girls call me old or say that I’m jealous or a freak. I’m just like, “Whatever.” It’s not that serious to me.
It’s pretty ridiculous that 32 is considered old.
I just had a birthday, so I’m 33 now. That’s not old at all, but it’s relative. I think when you’re in your early 20′s, someone who’s 32, 33 could be old. It’s like, “Oh my god! Wow, I don’t ever want to be that old.” But it’s not old – I feel like I’m just starting my life.
It seems like you really invested yourself emotionally in this show.
I wouldn’t even say I invested myself in the show. I’d say I invested myself in Ray. I wasn’t there for a show, I was there to meet this man.
It really crept up on you, right?
It did. I think even still now, it’s all very surreal to me that 1) I know him and 2) that we have the type of connection that we have. It’s very strange. I wasn’t expecting that. I was very naive going into the whole situation. I didn’t think I’d even be called to do anything like that. I just filled out the application on a whim, and had no idea. Then when they called me, I thought it would be no big deal. At one point, I didn’t want to do it, I figured I’d just find love on my own. But my mom told me, “No! Give it a shot! You never know where you going to find love.” I figured whatever, what do I have to lose? Then I got there and I met him and he’s just a really sweet, genuine person. He’s got a really big heart. I like him as a person.
You told him you were in love with him.
I really felt like I was falling for him. I fell for him pretty hard. I believe that Ray and I would have left and been together [if we stayed in contact]. I believe it would have been a very strong relationship. I’m interested to see what happens when we do get back together. But you know, life happens. I told Ray that no matter how you put it out there, even though this was a show, love is a very powerful energy. It’s very strong. If you put that word and energy out in the universe that that’s what you want, when it comes to you, you have to be willing to accept it. I’m sure he wasn’t expecting this to come from a TV show, but neither was I. It’s very hard for him to reconcile his feelings for me because this came at him in such an unconventional way.
Watching you get increasingly upset over him spending time with the other girls felt really real to me. If you’re invested in someone, I feel like that should bother you, and yet it’s something we rarely see so explicitly on these shows.
That’s why when people said I was a jealous freak or whatever, it’s not like I was jealous of them, it’s just that it hurt a little bit. It was very irritating to see him really go overboard with showing those last three other girls so much attention on the day after our overnight date, for example. I really think he was doing a bit much.
Was this situation taxing on you?
Definitely. I was completely out of my element being there. I think it came across in the wrong way. I think a lot of the girls were put off by me staying to myself. It had nothing to do with me not liking them, because I’ve always said all of the girls have a lot to offer somebody. I think they’re all talented in a lot of different ways. They’re good women. But it was different for me. I don’t have friends or people that I hang out with that are in their early 20′s. All of the fighting and yelling and screaming and picking on this one one day, bullying another person the next, getting up in somebody’s face…I was out of my element with that. The less drama, the better for me. I didn’t want to be around the negativity. I wasn’t there to get camera time. I was there to meet Ray and have him get to know me.
What did you think about the question pertaining to whether or not Ray was ready to be a father to your kids?
My children have a father. The most he could be was a role model. That’s it.
Did your kids watch the show?
A little. My daughter goes to bed at 9 every night, so if she did catch it, it was online or after school. She was really interested to see who got voted off, and she still doesn’t know who won. She has a clue, but I didn’t want her to tell anybody.
What did you think of Ray’s parents’ assessment of you?
I actually didn’t see the clip show yet, but my mom told me what his mom said. She said she agreed with her. When I met them, I thought that they were wonderful people, and if I were his mom, I too would be concerned about him dating a woman with a son that’s half of Ray’s age. If she wasn’t concerned, it would have been a problem.
Was that a concern to you, though? Like did you ever think, “Whoa. I’m into this guy that’s twice as old as my son…”?
Not really. I wasn’t looking for someone to be my kids’ father. They have a father, he’s present in their lives. This was somebody for me to spend time with, somebody to make me happy. And if I’m happy, my kids are happy.
You mentioned not being there for camera time, and I think that really came through on the show.
People say that, and it’s like, I don’t know any other way to be. I think I got screwed up pretty bad, because I really was there to meet this guy and see what would happen, and I was caught off guard by a lot of the stuff that happened. And just thinking, “Is this just a TV show or…?” It was really surreal and a lot to handle. But I really appreciate people being positive toward me, being uplifting. I’ve had women come up to me and say I’m an inspiration to them, and that’s so amazing to me because I have a story that I will share someday. It’s my testimony. I’ve had a long, long journey, and I’m very grateful for the place I’ve come to in my life. Someday, I’d like to really help a lot of people with the situations I’ve been through. Sometimes, it’s so weird, like, “How do I have fans?” But it is nice to hear that they really related to me. And this being a reality show, I think my life is the reality. The women who watch that show are just like me. We live our lives, we take care of our children, we go to work, and that’s it. We look for love in all different ways, and mine just happened to be on TV.