What show could turn a man from this…
Welcome to Tool Academy 3, where Tools are reformed, manhoods are threatened, and dudes are really, really surprised.
By now you know how it goes: a dozen or so douchebags, cheaters, and clueless egomaniacs get ambushed into attending the Tool Academy, where they learn to behave themselves, stop cheating on their partners, and be better humans with the help of therapist Trina Dolenz and their long-suffering girlfriends.
The same old thing, yet totally different, because this semester’s class of Tools included two women: One straight couple (Kyle and Jennavecia) whose female half loved sleeping around, and one lesbian couple (Courtney and Cheron) whose Tool half made a sport out of poaching other people’s girlfriends.
This single change in the Tool Academy rulebook was more than a gimmick, it really revealed whole new ways in which our Tools are insecure. The first episode alone revealed that:
– Jennavecia became a “slut.”
The thing is, she started out “hot.” As on seasons past, the Tools didn’t know at the beginning that they’ve been signed up for Tool Academy. And before this surprise, the male Tools had no problem touching (and squeezing and groping) Jennavecia, and telling the camera how hot she was. Until they found out what show they were on.
Suddenly Jennavecia was damaged goods to the guys. Or, more bluntly, was a “whore” according to Jacob, who’d be pretty friendly to her before (even doing push-ups with her on top of him in Cancun). The guys ganged up on Jennavecia and made her move her bed so that she couldn’t sleep next to them. “Jennavecia is a slut. I feel like if I let my guard down, she’d be all over me,” Jacob says.
Later in the episode, Jacob confessed to cheating on his girlfriend. Maybe that wasn’t his fault either. The excuse was as old as Adam and Eve. But in upcoming episodes, they will probably address this double standard. I mean, is there even a widely-used pejorative term for man who sleeps around? “Man-whore” doesn’t cut it — dudes wear that as a badge of pride.
– Jennavecia’s boyfriend became the enemy.
The Tools also turned against Jennavecia’s quiet boyfriend right away. Why? He was good looking, kind, and sleeping in a bedroom with their girlfriends, who have made it clear that they’re ready to leave their boyfriends if they don’t change.
It might even change the way the challenges go on from here. For instance, the premiere episode’s communication challenge was to have the partners pull apart a doghouse with a box full of tools, with their Tools giving them verbal instructions. This challenge was created so that the Tools’ girlfriends, who–the show assumes–don’t know much about using tools, will have to struggle to finish. But with Kyle in the competition, their team won easily.
– And he became a cuckold.
This first episode was all about the difference between how the Tools saw themselves, and how the world/their girlfriends saw them. For example, Kyle, the lone male in the other room, must be, according to the guys’ logic, an idiot for staying with his cheating partner (Jacob called him “slime”). But Jacob never questioned why his girlfriend would stay with him, knowing what a Tool he was. And there’s a widely-used word for this: the cuckold.
– Courtney became an outcast.
Courtney is the Tool Academy’s lesbian Tool and her favorite hobby was stealing guys’ girlfriends, because, as she said, she’s most attracted to straight women. So here’s something else to boggle the Tools’ minds: she was a lesbian, her girlfriend was a lesbian, and neither one was just in need of a good man to turn them straight.
– Chaysn became a drop-out.
This semester of Tool Academy had another first: it was the first time a Tool had left the Academy on his own. And while the guy was, as far as his ego went, the first among equals, something told me it wasn’t just the idea of Tool Academy that turned him off.
Toward the end of the episode, the show’s dropout, Chasyn, was challenged to a wrestling match by the show’s lone lesbian Tool, Courtney. Courtney easily pined Chasyn (he’s a semi-pro wrestler), who left both the show and his girlfriend behind just a little bit later. It was only after that we got to see him wrestling other Tools and losing. But it seemed like he didn’t get upset until he got pinned…by a girl.
Some other things I noticed:
– Tommy really wanted you to know he’s a good guy.
But he was subtle. Check out his prominent “Stay true” tattoo on display as he lies about his relationship status.
Angelo realized his girlfriend must love him if she brought him to Tool Academy and he instantly broke down. It seemed so fast, but probably happened after three hours of off-camera therapy.
Daniel was this episode’s “Glow stick Tool.” He may not have muscles like most of the other Tools, but his glowsticking skills were really impressive. Which was too bad. Like, if Daniel was the world’s top skier, or the world’s top runner, then he’d be “driven” instead of a “Tool.” But because he’s the world’s best at this, he’s on Tool Academy, instead of Peak Season: Vancouver.
Check out some more shots from this week’s episode:
— Jessica Suarez