Say it loud and proud:
“I love Fit Club!”
The first thing we loved this week wasn’t the first thing that occurred in the episode, but you could say it made the biggest impact:
- Bobby’s butt…thing.
While chanting along with former NFL player/conditioning coach/friend of Harvey, Bay Bay McClinton, Bobby felt a rumble in his drawers and announced, “Ooh! Ooh! Gotta go to the bathroom!” Is he a 5-year-old or does he just have the bowel control of one? Whatever, the fact is that when Bobby Brown gets on reality TV, he’s always gotta make it about his ass. Good for him. He found an angle and knows what works, right Nicole?
In the end, he chalked up his scare to: “Sometimes s*** happens, you know? Everyone has to take a s*** every now and then, especially in the morning.” Words to live by. You’d hope for more warning, but hey, the body does strange things when you’re dieting.
The way that you can really tell that this bit worked was…
…Harvey dug it. And you know he doesn’t like anything.
That was the second cameo that Harvey’s smile made this episode (what are the chances?). The first occurred during the…
There were flags for the capturing, giant Q-tips fit for American Gladiators and/or an Easter Island statue’s waxy buildup, and a fear of shallow water (Tanisha apparently has a very severe case of aquaphobia).
This challenge had it all!
Shar was the first to really exhibit intimidating can-do spirit:
Kaycee’s impersonation said it best. Contrast this…
Perfect, right? But Shar was a minnow compared to the barracuda that Tanisha turned out to be, despite her crippling fear of waist-high water.
On sparring with Tanisha, Nicole said, “It got a little bit too street for my liking.” On not letting anyone get that flag, Tanisha said, “Over my dead, fat, 47-percent-body-fat dead body.” So she wins the verbal challenge as well as the physical one. Nice!
In the end, Tanisha scored the last point for her team. When asked why the Blue Team has suddenly hit its stride, Kaycee said, “The feng shui just finally changed.” She must be referring to the modified furniture within.
- Shar’s shirt.
Obviously, she’s having the time of her life!
- Bobby’s sleeping method.
The visor blocks out the sun and nosy teammates whose business has nothing to do with Bobby’s sleep patterns. That is very special multitasking headgear.
- The Art of War interstitials.
It brought an air of gravitas and made this the most neatly organized reality show since Let’s Talk About Pep.
During their group with Rhonda, the group was encouraged to let out aggression they have that might cause them to revert back to bad eating habits. Jay unleashed on the dummy that was a proxy for his high-school bully; Sebastian talked about father who left family for his student; Tanisha at first didn’t talk about anyone…
…but then she told a harrowing story about her childhood caretaker made her fist fight (ring-style fighting!) at as early as 5-years-old; Nicole talked about unresolved issues with dad as brought up by her stepmother; Kevin weirdly transferred his aggression to that anonymous dude who cut him off on the highway…
… now there’s a guy who really takes his road rage seriously; finally Shar talked about hating betrayal, and per her fellow Fit Clubbers’ interviews/my own ears, it was pretty clear that she was at least touching up on the whole Kevin situation, if not referring to it exclusively. She continues to treat him like the elephant in the room (and I’m not saying that because he’s overweight…pretty much). We have to be facing a one-on-one showdown/catharsis session between them before the season is over, right?
We didn’t get to hear from Kaycee or Bobby. The latter was particularly disappointing, as I wanted to know if Whitney was going to be his source of anger. Sorry! They’re inextricably bound to me!
- The results.
Kevin hit his goal and lost 3 lbs.
Jay lost 2, but his goal was 4. However, midway through the season, he has already lost 20 of 30 lbs., of his overall goal.
Bobby lost 1 lb. — his goal was 4.
Same thing with Kaycee: she lost 1, her goal was 4.
Shar, like someone whose name I won’t mention, hit her weekly goal and lost 3 lbs.
Tanisha’s goal was 4 lbs. — she lost none.
Sebastian lost 3; his goal was 4.
Nicole lost 0 and her goal was 3 lbs.
Here are how things shaped up for the teams:
When the challenge points were factored in, it was the Red Team that once again took the lead:
These teams are swapping positions like porn stars!
One more notable bit of tension came up during Nicole’s weigh in, during which her love of wine was again brought up and condemned (basically, she doesn’t understand portion control). She said that she was only human and asked, “So are we turning this into rehab?” This is VH1, land of endless spin-off options. A rehab/weightloss all-in-one program, in fact, doesn’t sound ridiculous at all. Stay tuned!
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