Who says the modeling industry places impossible demands on women?
It’s time for Jessica and her crew to visit Paris, which is in turn gay and plaintive. Just like real life! At the top of the show, Jessica & co., met this week’s beauty ambassador, Rosemary, who became a model at age 13. She talked about weight restrictions and feeling like a piece of meat — one that wasn’t always valued for its meatiness (or lack thereof):
The first genius (“genius”) quote came when they talked to Rosemary about the model’s diet, which basically amounts to a leaf of lettuce:
Referring to the opulent French pastries she, Ken and CaCee had to dine on, Jessica said, “She said, ‘Models do not eat like this.’ We’re like, ‘But it was a croissant!’ We thought that was French.” Let this be a lesson that not all people eat all French food, much like many of us Americans will never have the pleasure of pig feet or bull testicles between our teeth.
At a “wine spa,” the group was addressed entirely in French. Ken asked CaCee for a translation. She offered none:
CaCee is, however, very good at translating the visual into the verbal:
See? She didn’t lie. Big wooden sticks, after all, are the universal language.
In response to such stick, Ken busts out his own priceless quote:
Could be worse! You could be a piece of meat. Ask Rosemary.
Also, this isn’t a quote, but I’d be remiss if I didn’t include a shot of Ken Paves kicking up his heels while sitting in a giant vat of wine…
It’s the simple things, really, that let us all know how alike we are.
The rest of the episode centered on Jessica’s walking in a PrĂªt-Ă-Porter fashion show. Guiding her (into misery, mostly) was this one:
The woman has balls, both literally (Jessica’s response to her outlandish get-up: “Couture? All I see are these blue balls all over you!”)…
Alexandra directs Jessica very helpfully, using such specific guidance as…
…“You don’t need to have this thing, you don’t need to go like this.”
She also tells Jessica to smile with her eyes. In case you don’t speak that language, here, let me translate for you. Makes a lot of sense now, right?
At one point just before the show, Alexandra asked Jessica if she’s nervous. “I’m just not a model,” replied Jess. “You’re not a model, I know. We know that,” Alexandra shot back. God, lady, I hope your runway is in a freezer because it can’t get much colder than this and the episode isn’t even over yet.
But it turns out, actually, that Alexandra warmed to Jessica’s unseasoned ways on the runway. In the end, she proclaimed Jessica “great,” and after suffering from a spell of nauseating nerves, Jessica finally came around to the realization that, “If they judge me, they judge me!” Looks like our little girl is growing up!
The final scene involved meeting with a plus-size model and Jessica proclaiming that “everyone should define their own joie de vivre.” Have fun defining your joie de vivre this week, guys!
And just to temper the lightness, here’s the episode’s emotional high point: a meeting between the group and the famous anorexic model Isabelle Caro, who launched a series of PSAs to warn of eating disorders in modeling:
Given the statistics…
…it would seem that the work Isabelle does is exactly what the industry needs.
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