Trying new things is scary.
Finally, a TRANSform Me makeover candidate with the courage to say what we’ve been thinking: the glambulance is an ambulance with stickers! No one ever has a happy story that begins with, “So I got in the back of the ambulance…” But let’s go back to the beginning.
Tiffany, from Germantown, PA, is not only self-conscious about her clothing, but what’s underneath as well. She received third and fourth degree burns in a house fire when she was 17, and has probably seen hospitals and ambulances for a lifetime. Luckily it didn’t touch her face, as she says (or kill her, as I say), but it left scars all over her arms. She’s been hiding in long sleeves and floor skirts ever since. Of course long could be stylish, but this is not:
And though she used to be stylish, the fire seemed to suck all of her enthusiasm for clothes, hair, and makeup away. “Maybe I need to take a page out of their book,” Tiffany says when she learns about her trangendered makeover experts. She needs the unabridged version.
“When I went through a fire in 1997 I kinda put myself on the back-burner,” Tiffany confides to Laverne during their talk. I feel bad for Tiffany, and I feel worse for her choice of words here. But she doesn’t really cry during the heart-to-heart, which is surprising.
Tiffany’s cute best friend Lively (the best friends are always cute)…
… gets to hang out with Nina while she takes apart the wardrobe. Wondering what Nina found?
“Nothing fit for diva,” she concludes. Nothing fit for a non-diva either! Don’t put this bedazzled double denim suit on the rest of us:
The house raid takes almost two seconds, because Tiffany has one lonesome can of something and two hairbrushes in her bathroom. Every makeover says they’ve given up on beauty, but Tiffany’s the only one who really has.
Her shoe situation is equally pathetic:
On the plus side, this must be the cleanest house TRANSform Me‘s visited. Between the long skirts, head coverings, and lack of products / fun clothing, it really looks like Tiffany’s been a secular nun for the past ten years. You almost wish Tiffany had more clothing and makeup just so she’d have more to get rid of.
It’s time for wardrobe, and Tiffany gets over her fear of baring her arms, which makes it easier for Nina to find her some Diva-worthy looks:
Legs seem to be no problem for Tiffany, who has, as Nina says, “legs for days.”
This episode’s diva lesson: coat removal.
See the difference? The secret to diva coat removal is dropping your coat on the floor. It implies that someone usually picks it up for you and/or that you are an incredibly rude person. That’s kind of a diva quality too, right?
For some reason we skip the whole inner-confidence building exercise this week, maybe so we can quickly get to what we’ve been wondering the whole episode: What’s under Tiffany’s do-rag:
You can see why she kept us wondering. Tiffany argues that she could look very good with a head wrap. Laverne says there’s an Erykah Badu and an Erykah Ba-don’t, and Tiffany falls into the latter category. Besides, even Erykah Badu sheds her layers sometimes.
The plan is to give Tiffany “extra length,” a.k.a. a weave. After that’s over Jamie teaches Tiffany how to find her cheekbones and apply contour makeup, and how to look possessed by a demon while doing so.
Her second lesson is how to wear false lashes. You could call it eye weave.
Tiffany’s big diva reveal:
And she works the coat too, by handing it off to Nina. “I think a diva would do this,” Tiffany says. I love Nina’s face as she’s taking the coat. This is advice coming back to haunt them, I think.
Then Tiffany takes the stage, cues the piano player, opens her mouth, and…it’s just awful.
Kidding! She’s got a pretty –if a little nervous and shaky — jazz voice. But wouldn’t it awesome if she looked this fabulous but sounded terrible? She wouldn’t be the first diva.
Our exclusive video interview with Laverne
TRANSform Me show page
TRANSform Me videos and extras
TRANSform Me fan community
Laverne Cox’s Official Site
Jamie Clayton’s Official Site
Nina Poon Makeup