Tough Love Couples Recap – Episode 5 – Hostile Witness

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Surprise! Tough Love Couples has eliminations.

“This is gonna be bad,” guesses Heather at the beginning of Tough Love Couples. Heather? Hi Heather! Where have you been the last couple episodes? I didn’t know you were still on the show. I thought maybe they did off-camera eliminations of people who don’t say or do anything for entire episodes, but I guess not.

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Steve takes the couples to a jail to be interrogated by him, though, doesn’t he always interrogate the couples? Between this and last week’s game show get up, I think that these exercises may also be so Steve can act out his wildest fantasies. CSI: TLC:

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Pawel is up first, an when he is brought into the interrogation room it dawns on him that “this s*** is for real.” He’s going to have to either define s*** or “real,” because being interviewed in jail about your relationship for the camera is not interrogation for real. I’ve seen enough episodes of Law & Order to know what a real interrogation looks like.

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Steve gets Heather to admit she got back together with her ex after she broke up with Larry. This seems like a big deal until Ryan comes in.

Ryan and Axelle broke up for a little bit, and Ryan and Steve argue over whether he was on a break with Axelle, or whether this was one of those temporary breaks that guys do when they feel like not having a girlfriend for a weekend. Or, in Ryan’s case, when someone you want to have sex with comes to visit you.

Steve gets a bit more of the truth out: Ryan stayed on the couch for one night, but shared the bed for the rest of her visit, and they took a shower together, and he “grabbed her boobs,” a detail that it looks like Axelle did not know before:

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…but he insists that they didn’t have sex. Why did he stop short? Because he’s such a good guy, right?

“You are a liar, you have no balls, and you are not to be respected,” Axelle tells him back at the house. She pushes him to “have the balls” to tell her that he had sex with her, but he won’t. Hey, it takes balls to lie this much too. Credit.

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The next night it’s time for romantic dates! But there’s a catch: They have to reveal something really personal. Before they can go on a date, Steve asks Ryan if he’s willing to salvage his relationship. He says yes, but he gets this look first:

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Still a bad liar. At least Steve and JoAnn are sending them to a public place, which is where you go to reveal information no one wants to hear.

Mario and Christina talk about their parents, and it’s sweet and a little sad, since it’s mostly about how to take care of them when they’re sick. Let’s move on.

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Larry wants to have kids by the time he’s 35, so he and Heather discuss what Steve calls “Larry’s ticking clock.” Males apparently have biological clocks too. But Tony Randal had a kid when he was 200 years old. The clock just doesn’t apply anymore. They kiss after their talk, but I prefer this second right before, since it looks like they’ve invented a new form of affection: close smiling.

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Ryan apologizes again to Axelle, and Axelle pretty much breaks up with him. We get more cheater crying. Speaking of, where are Dustin and Courtney? Do they just jam on at the house and do laundry while the others are on their couples dates?

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Back at the house, it’s hot seat time. Mario and Christina do the best this week because of their very mature talk about how to care for their parents when they get sick. They’ve come a long way since they debated happy endings at cheap massage parlors.

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Axelle and Ryan are in the hot seat. And Sherry tells her side, via video. Still not good enough though. So Steve invites her in.

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I love that everyone gets a thrill from this. Of course they do: First, it makes them look better, second, who doesn’t want to see this?

Now I feel like this is indulging Steve’s talk-show host fantasies. Were this any other reality show, the ladies would be taking their earrings and shoes off. I know Tough Love Couples is a classier affair, but don’t let the smart blazers fool you. Sherry, to Axelle’s credit, actually does seem like the awful person Axelle makes her out to be. First of all, she doesn’t realize this is a upscale casual kinda night. Second, she asks if she can hug Ryan before Steve begins his questioning.

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Then Sherry goes even further and says she loves Ryan and adds in that she doesn’t think Ryan is happy. Ryan gives an awful speech about truth and honesty to the rest of the group, while Axelle gets comforted by Steve. They had already broken up at the restaurant, so this whole thing was really just a way to make sure they don’t get back together, I think? Unless the justification is just that it would be entertaining for all? If so, thanks! It was.

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Unlike Courtney and Dustin, they’re done.

The couples gather around to say goodbye to Axelle, but Ryan leaves alone, never getting a chance to grace us with either his guitar-playing, or his hat. Later Ryan! I’m pretty sure Sherry’s been milling around the parking lot waiting for you anyway.

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Related content
Tough Love Couples cast reveal
Tough Love Couples show page
Tough Love Couples videos and extras
Master Matchmakers
Check out Steve and JoAnn Ward’s Book, Crash Course in Love

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