What Chilli Wants Recap – Episode 7 – Decisions

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decisions

Finally: Two guys Chilli wants to date. Also, oh no: Two guys Chilli wants to date.

This episode of What Chilli Wants begins with Tron asking Chilli how old he needs to be to find a girlfriend. I say it’s not an age but a ranking that’s important. Tron can’t start dating before Chilli stops dating. See also: Taming of the Shrew. See also: Chilli’s surprise at this particular conversation. I pity any girl that Tron brings home to meet his mom, because I bet she’ll be as tough ten years from now.

what

Tionna sets up Chilli’s date with Bill, and we get some flashing back to the Brave games, where she confirmed that Bill wasn’t a “whorebag.” Note, however, that this doesn’t appear anywhere on the list, and may actually be inversely proportionate to her other requirements for six-pack abs, gorgeousness, and a “big thing-thing.” Guys don’t keep all that to themselves.

First Chilli and Bill bond over their love and respect of WWE wrestlers. Hey, this is Atlanta, talking about WWE is, I imagine, like talking to someone about the weather. “I love silly guys,” Chilli says about Bill. To us. Why the hell didn’t she say this to Tionna? A million dates and this is the first time we’ve seen this:

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Had Tionna known that Chilli wants a “silly” man, maybe she would have set Chilli up with some comedians instead of models and athletes. Of course, Chilli didn’t put this on her list, so Tionna couldn’t know. So I’m just confused. Surely they could have discussed this before we were at the end of the show.

They’re at a comedy night where, as Chilli points out, 99 percent of the audience is black, while her date is 110 percent white.

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Bill would probably already get picked on, but he’s also there with Chilli, so he’s a double target. Host Aries Spears tells Bill that Usher must have “f***ed it up for everybody.” Which is probably true: Chilli will never date a significantly younger R&B star with mother issues again.

Now Darren (AKA Farmer D) get his chance, by meeting up for Chilli’s handbag opening. A working first date! That’s a great idea, especially since he had Chilli work the tractor and pick vegetables during their last date.

And for those who guessed that Darren was bald under his farmer’s hat:

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He’s definitely not! It’s a head of hair as lush as his soul patch. So there’s absolutely no explanation for that hat.

Justice takes Darren aside and asks him about everything from his age to his sense of humor, on a scale of 1-10.

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Until Justice asks too many questions and Tionna’s sense of humor drops to sub-zero. Thing-thing and whorebag questions are her territory.

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Just when you think Bill’s ahead, Chilli starts making eyes like this at Farmer D:

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But there’s a problem: He’s spiritual-but-not-religious, which probably means neither, as it does for many of the other people who say this. She asks if he would convert to her religion, and he sort of chokes on his choker. “Normally that would be a deal breaker for me,” Chilli says, but she wants to be open-minded. This guy’s good enough to not be godly.

The next day Tionna and Chilli meet up for lunch, and Tionna says she’s set up overnight dates with both guys. This sounds all wrong: An “intimate” “overnight” trip to “get to know” each other. Tionna might as well call it a “sex weekend,” because that’s what it sounds like to me. And to Chilli:

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Especially when she says that Chilli needs these trips to “make it pop.” You can sort of feel a fight coming on like you can feel a sneeze coming on. But also in the same way that you know it’ll feel so good once it happens.

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wooo

I sooo wish I had kept an eye roll count this season. I think Chilli and Tionna would be in the triple digits by now.

So they start arguing over why Tionna didn’t bring Bill in earlier. “You’re the love expert, are you not?” Chilli asks. Questioning Tionna’s expertise is like questioning Chilli’s morals. It’s just asking for trouble. If you’re going to question anything, question Tionna’s manners:

enjoy

Tionna is so mad that she’s shaking a little bit and has to calm down outside. whatchilliwants107-vh100061

Even though they talk it out (with Chilli doing that infuriating argument thing where she stays too calm and serene while Tionna’s angry — hate that!) Tionna still leaves because she has to calm down further. So that’s how this episode ends: With a whimper and a bang.

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Related content
Our exclusive video interview with Chilli
What Chilli Wants show page
What Chilli Wants videos and extras

  1. felicity etoile says:

    whose bright idea was it that Chili needed a recruiter/matchmaker to enhance the show. TO THE CONTRARY, that ghetto-not quite fabulous walking mammary was not the answer and should pack up and return to obscurity. Alas, she’s a legend in her own mind. She ought to take her buffalo butt back to Brooklyn, pleeeeeeeeease.

  2. good shapat says:

    she is a sell out. chilli was prolly waitn for a white man to show up anyway. she can have them. that was gud for them, being singled out @ the comedy club by aries spears! chilli you might just get wat you ask FOR!

  3. Just sayin says:

    What is worng with her dating a white guy. You like who you like. God didn’t make any mistake when he mad her black and Bill and Farmer D white. Who cares let her be happy and stop hating. Grow up people!

  4. Raven says:

    I am so happy for Chili! I am the product of an interacial marriage–so, I am proud that my parents were “sell outs” as good shapat put it. She has the right to date who she wants and I am glad to see that mainstream television has finally caught up with the rest of the world. Multiracial people are the new thing–and we are not going anywhere anytime soon.

  5. Michelle says:

    Y’all need to give Tionna Smalls a reality show. She tells it like it is in a no-nonsense kind of way. I like her!!She don’t take no sh–, and stands her ground with Chili!!!

  6. glamgyrl says:

    Chilli is a charming, sweet, attractive lady. I hope those two guys truly have good intentions toward her. Chilli, T-Boz and her other friends are interesting, but that rude, classless, big water buffalo, so-called “matchmaker” is atrocious. The show would be even better without her gutter behavior.

  7. karim345@rocketmail.com says:

    Hi Chili,

    You seem to be a nice and very attractive woman. However, please get rid of the fat black girl who is attempting to find you a man. She does not need to find you anyone because she would only scare them away. Please do not forget, you are judged by the company you keep, and that fat heifer is so typical of a lower class. She is loud, ignorant, mean to you, and is most likely very jealous because you are slim, nice, and pretty. In addition, since you are over 35, perhaps a new look would help you build up your confidence. How about a sharp more tamed haircut recolored in black. Lose the wild auburn red hair look, it is so 90′s and similar to the style when you were with TLC. In addition, trade in your jeans for some sharp fitted dresses and high heels and look classy and rich and loose the ghetto friends. You are a beautiful women, so use your external and internal beauty to your advantage.

  8. Shamontiel says:

    Some of you all are going into Tionna Smalls way too hard. First of all, it was incredibly disrespectful for Chilli to question Tiona’s expertise AFTER Tiona got her not one, but TWO eligible bachelors that she liked. I thought that was hella rude. Now should Tiona have called her a b**ch in an episode a week or two ago, no. But what does her fashion sense or her weight have to do with anything? And is your weight up to par? Someone’s weight does NOT make them an eligible matchmaker. If Steve Ward was heavyset, would you be going this hard at him, too? He’s just as outspoken and sometimes over the top, but I don’t hear anybody comment on his physical appearance. If you want to criticize Tiona’s personality, that makes more sense than talking about this other stuff.

    By the way, VH1 blogger, you do have a point about the humor. But just from watching TLC in action I would’ve thought it was obvious she liked humor. The young guy from last week was funny, too.

    Who do I want to win? I think Bill is good for the moment but Farmer D will be around for the long run. And I could care less about his religious background. As a proud agnostic who has a father who is a deacon, I can tell you right now that you can respect someone’s religion, still have a good relationship and not convert!

  9. Lily says:

    I like Tionna, I think she has kept it 100% real the whole way…I’d like to see her work with other people too

  10. adam says:

    who is the artist that sang the song $#_*@&&)!%`!_&& led: crazy ? on this episode

  11. james says:

    who is the artist that sang the song $)@^&*!&!#@!#_! led crazy ? on this episode

  12. Dee says:

    I would love to see Chilli with Bill. Maybe Tionna didnt introduce Bill to Chilli earlier cause maybe Tionna wasnt sure if Chilli dates outside her race.

  13. Sunshine007 says:

    Please get rid of the most ignorant disrepectful blocker Tionna she is in the way and I’m sure with all the money available you can get a better date specialist she is terrible to watch her as a relationship specialist give me a break. it’s been fun but producers please please help me to continue to watch this show get rid of her give her a show of her own but this is not a good reflection on Chilli who is classy too classy to have to deal with this chick. And if her drama is what you like let me be the first to pitch a new show Tionna drama all by her self Chilli can hold her own with out her now if they were lovers openly that would be different.

  14. Jessye says:

    Tiona is the only matchmaker who would put up with Chilli. Tiona isn’t fake like the people you’re used to seeing. Its a reason Chili can’t find a man on her own. She needs someone like Tiona to show her why. A person who won’t kiss her tail and lie to her, which is what she’s used to. She’s done a great job. If you want a fake phony chick, watch “The Hills”.

  15. PinkLadee says:

    So Chili needs to throw that list away because she is not sticking to any of it. Neither of those white boys that she is googly-eyed over fit any of the criteria. Neither are ‘cuter than Denzel’ and definitey not ‘super-fine with a 6pack’. Farmer D looks like Screech and the other one is just average, OK-looking. So all these characteristics and lists she has been so focused on were a full of crap—just like her!!!

  16. Teri H. says:

    Chilli, I hope that you did one of the guys Bill or Darren because they both seem like nice guys. Either one looks as if it’s a match made from heaven. Just be you and open and love will find it’s way. The only other advice I have for you is make a true friendship first then build on that my husband and I have been friends for 19 years and have been married for 9. I have been married before but this have been not only the best marriage but relationship I ever had.

  17. Tyesha says:

    adam Says:

    May 25th, 2010 at 1:07 am who is the artist that sang the song $#_*@&&)!%`!_&& led: crazy ? on this episode

    Hey, I wrecked my brain trying to find out who the artist is also. Thank you for giving me the name of the song, I didn’t even know what it was called. But the artist name is Anjulie and the song is called crazy that way.

  18. Mik says:

    Farmer D “Daron” (not Darren), hands down.
    Intelect, substance, quite strength, and oh soo
    handsome.
    But really… Is it truly that serious with Season 2 in
    the works?
    The best to all entangled:-)>

  19. Hello says:

    Good choices.I cannot wait to see who you pick.Bill and Farmer John seem pretty cool.I hope you find one that makes you happy.Ignore that mess color has nothing to do with it.If he is the one that wants to treat you like you want.Go with the flow.Have a blessed day!

  20. bless says:

    Chilli sounded extremely ignorant when she made the statment that because Darren’s parents lived in South Africa he could bring her home and there would be no problem. Anyone that knows anything about South African apartied knows the last thing that the Afrikkanas want is for their children to bring home someone black.

    I believe everyone should be able to date as they please white or black, Asian or Latin but I do see the difference in Chillis questioning and prying into the black males past as apposed to the white men.

    White men are more often given a pass and ~(#@*$!))@_~(_+ umed that they will not cheat or just want to fall in love with this girl and are not looking for another woman just to sleep with when in reality there are good and bad men in every race.

    I think Chilli needs to look whithin herself its her own personality that is causing her to be alone and the men she so chooses.

  21. Lonely in VA says:

    Chilli,

    Both guys are fine. Give at least one of them a chance. I dated a white guy for a minute and became very upset because the brotha’s would stare everytime we went out. This man was darn good to me……and to top it off, A Millionaire.

    The money didn’t matter because I’m doing well for myself, but it does help. I must say that I have never had a man to treat me so well, until I connected with this guy.

    I’m elated that you got rid of your list. You are a beautiful woman and I look forward to watching the show every week.

    P.S. Bill…..ummmmmmm, yummmmmy.

  22. Finesse says:

    I been a fan of TLC for many years, but now with this decision of Chili picking a white boy ( seed of a slave master ).I’ve lost all respect. Chili say’s she knows what she wants! but it’s obvious she doesn’t know herself, or even have morals on who she is. If she was to trace that white man roots, she would see his bloodline is the same one that raped her grandmother, and beat her grandfather. Truth be told, Chili mind is that of slave controlled, and that’s why she picked him. I’m done with Chili! T Boz is still cool,but if they come out with another album, I WILL NOT SUPPORT IT AT ALL!!!!!

  23. Spontaneous says:

    Since a 2nd season is coming Bill didn’t work. I’m single and he is perfect. How can I meet him? I am single, no kids and live close to the ATL…

  24. Tiffany says:

    What chili wants is the worst show ever. This chick does not like either on of these poor dudes! She was tired of doing nothing and wanted to be seen again! She is shallow and rude. And this show is a waste of 30 minutes!( she owes me 2 hrs) the amount of time I spent wanting to like her and her show! She sucks, her show sucks, and vh1 sucks for airing this crap! Make a song chili! Nobody cares you cant get your old butt over Usher!

  25. Jesse says:

    What chili wants is the worst show ever. This chick does not like either on of these poor dudes! She was tired of doing nothing and wanted to be seen again! She is shallow and rude. And this show is a waste of 30 minutes!( she owes me 2 hrs) the amount of time I spent wanting to like her and her show! She sucks & her show sucks! Make a song chili! Nobody cares you cant get your old butt over Usher!

  26. Jesse says:

    What chili wants is the worst show ever. This chick does not like either on of these poor dudes! She was tired of doing nothing and wanted to be seen again! She is shallow and rude. And this show is a waste of 30 minutes!( she owes me 2 hrs) the amount of time I spent wanting to like her and her show! She sucks & her show sucks! Make a song chili! Nobody cares you cant get your old butt over Usher!And you need to change your look its been the same for like 17 yrs! Your pretty on the outside but your inside seems horriably ugly!

  27. Anthony Miller says:

    First let me say Chilly is too damn old to still be called Chilly. She wants Mr. Perfect and she is not even close. She had an abortion and she had a child out of wedlock. If she wanted a white man from the beginning she should have said so and save the other sister some time. Chilli wake up it is not all about you and what you want. Here is a word thats new compromise. You will be old and alone! Get use to it!!

  28. Chilli'd out says:

    It hurts to constently see these beautiful Black women on my TV WITH WHITE MEN. I’m finished with HER. Her pictures are gone from my ” Honey folder “, and HER videos will soon follow. This will not end until white men get hands on all our beauties either in movies ,or on TV shows.

  29. Ms. Jyoti says:

    Thank You Chilli, for sharing a part of your life with the world and for confirming to us all that YOU ARE not only a beautiful woman but a woman of taste and class.

    With that being said…..

    !!!I AM “TEAM FARMER D” all the way!!!
    (made a T-shirt to prove it)

    I really think Farmer D will cherish, love, protect and always be there for Chilli. I Think while he seems nice enough, the look in Bill’s eyes, to ME shows he is opportunistic and sneaky.

    *TEAM FARMER D*TEAM FARMER D*TEAM FARMER D*TEAM FARMER D*

  30. redhot says:

    i am sick and tired of people making bullcraps comments because chilli picked a white guy. i am also sick and tired of people making the slave comments. can people not get over the whole slave thing. that happened how many years ago. bill nor darren had anything to do with that. they are not responsible for what their ancestors did so get over it. i’m sure if chilli found a black man that she really liked then she would have picked him. so get over the whole black/white thing it has been played out way to many times.

  31. HotChilliFan says:

    GO CHILLI!: I must say that I was very disappointed to see that there were very few BROTHERS who even bothered to blog about this beautiful, intelligent, and amazing woman. Come on Black Men face it….you keeep letting awesome sisters like Chilli get away. Many of you are too self-centered, disrespectful, and you don’t even value the undeniable beauty, love, and strength of ‘together,’ Black women who will help YOU to become all God intended you to be. Chilli and many others have been out there waiting and pining for you too long. Did you really think she and others would not begin to catch the eyes and hearts of high caliber men of other races who will do the little things like: compliment them, have patience, massage their backs, tell them they’re beautiful everyday, etc? Ha..Ha.Ha. Ha.Ha. That’s what you get! But it gets even better. Taraji, Melanie Fiona, Brandy, and many others are next on the list to drop your sorry +`*_@^^`#(%$!~# es to be treated the way that they deserve to be treated. Love you Chilli…good pick, good pick.! Don’t worry about the brothers trippin’! They had enough time to get you. Don’t worry about the sistas commenting negatively. Their Black men are with white women as we speak.

  32. Karen says:

    I had no idea this show would be such a learning process and an eye opener. It’s been really great seeing a beautiful sister like Chili find herself someone that will respect her and treat her like a lady suppose to be treated. She seemed to really enjoy her time with those 2 white guys. She was relaxed with them and seemed to trust them more. I don’t think race had anything to do her picks, it was their characters that help seal the deal. Go Chili and I love Tionna.

  33. good shape says:

    who does she pick??????????/

  34. Shoshanna says:

    This show sucks! Chilli is a joke with her list, and it’s sad to watch these men fame themselves out for this confused washed out singer! Farmer D is Jewish and divorced, gets around ATL and will sleep his way to the top, drinks and smokes herb WTF? Is that on her list, and love or money he lied on that, why do this show to sell his dirt so sad!

  35. Josh says:

    This show sucks! Chilli is a joke with her list, and it’s sad to watch these men fame themselves out for this confused washed out singer! Farmer D is Jewish and divorced, gets around ATL and will sleep his way to the top, drinks and smokes herb WTF? Is that on her list, and love or money he lied on that, why do this show to sell his dirt so sad!

  36. Ms. Danielle says:

    Chilli You have too much class for the women who is trying to hook u up, Do she got a man..She seems like a hater You didn’t even say nothin to give her the right to act a fool in public. You should let her go back to where ever she came from. You doing her a BIG favor by letting her in your precious presents and she want to act like a ugly jelous bitter freak. forget her go on Millionaires Match maker, at least she has a little bit of class not alot but a little bit, unlike the chick u dealing with now who has no class..Chilli hope the best for you!

  37. mocha on myspace says:

    i read the other comment up there-a person is not their reincarnated ancestors so the comment by finesse is lacking finesse. at any rate the q t who said you were like moms or the sexy trumpet player from way back can look me up cause im lookin for sum good luv too

  38. Latoya says:

    Awwww Chillie I love this show. but i love the white men it even better hahaha!! i hope chillie finds what she looking for!!!

  39. 3207321 says:

    What a lovely day for a 3207321! SCK was here

  40. 3687430 says:

    What a lovely day for a 3687430! SCK was here

  41. 2690235 says:

    What a lovely day for a 2690235! SCK was here